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This has been discussed in the past (I looked in the search bar), but I want to hear people’s updated thoughts on changing last names, both personally and professionally.

I’m getting married literally a week after I graduate. Many women I’ve talked to have said at the very least to not change my name professionally just in case the marriage ends poorly (which makes sense and I’m fine with). Now I’m deciding between keeping my maiden name all around or potentially just changing my last name for personal reasons and practicing under my maiden name.
 
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jaboo said:
This has been discussed in the past (I looked in the search bar), but I want to hear people’s updated thoughts on changing last names, both personally and professionally.

I’m getting married literally a week after I graduate. Many women I’ve talked to have said at the very least to not change my name professionally just in case the marriage ends poorly (which makes sense and I’m fine with). Now I’m deciding between keeping my maiden name all around or potentially just changing my last name for personal reasons and practicing under my maiden name.
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I wish men had this problem.

I kept my last name, but I also have the superior last name in our relationship so there really wasn’t much debate about it.
 
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I kept my last name because I wanted to. I spent practically my whole life dreaming about being Dr. Dubz, not Dr. Hubz. I'm very attached to my name and all the family history it brings with it. I had no real desire to use hubz's last name in any setting and he didn't care about me doing so either. So we get to laugh and roll our eyes together when his extended family sends mail to "Mr. and Mrs. His Last Name" and manages to get us some household item with the first letter engraved on it every year.

I don't think there's any right or wrong way to go about it. Most of my classmates changed their names, one hyphenated but practices under her maiden name. I don't know about all the logistics of all that so I guess that's something to consider?

I'm half asleep so sorry if that's rambly and unhelpful.
 
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To me it seems easier to keep your maiden name and just have family/friends call you the new married name socially if you’re going to use both? Friends will know the deal and call you whatever you want. Your license and DEA will need to be in your legal name, and if that’s different than what clients know you as I can see instances where it’s confusing (especially regarding written or online prescriptions and license lookups). And that way you don’t have to go through the hassle of changing all your ID, credit cards, etc. plus if things went south with the marriage you wouldn’t have to change back legally. But I agree with everyone that there isn’t a right or wrong answer. If you feel strongly that you want your name to legally change to your spouse’s I’m sure it can work somehow.
 
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Echo everyone above. I also kept my last name. Made it nice not having to change anything. However lots of classmates changed their names. Most notably one of my best friends because he has the superior name compared to her maiden name and it wasnt super difficult except the nearest social security office was like an hr away so she had to plan to go there.
 
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Made a new last name with my husband and we both changed it. Took the first two letters of my birth surname and the first two letters of his and combined them. Go by the new one socially and professionally. Highly recommend, though need to have everyone on board. Made things easier to just have one name to deal with, for kids too. But like hell was I going to grant my husband's surname the Dr. title I spent so much time and energy to acquire.
 
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KCgophervet said:
But like hell was I going to grant my husband's surname the Dr. title I spent so much time and energy to acquire.
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I love that this is the overall petty attitude that is our driving factor bc SAME. I don’t even have a SO and his name won’t get the benefit of my doctor name :laugh:
 
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jaboo said:
This has been discussed in the past (I looked in the search bar), but I want to hear people’s updated thoughts on changing last names, both personally and professionally.

I’m getting married literally a week after I graduate. Many women I’ve talked to have said at the very least to not change my name professionally just in case the marriage ends poorly (which makes sense and I’m fine with). Now I’m deciding between keeping my maiden name all around or potentially just changing my last name for personal reasons and practicing under my maiden name.
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Personally I plan to change my name because his is easier for people to spell & pronounce. (Not like mine isn't, but it's uncommon and 9 letters long, so people tend to just give up halfway through, even though it's really not that hard. Like holy ****, did we all just forget how to "sound it out"???? /rant)

Professionally you've kinda got me thinking though...I know of at least 3 pairs of faculty at my school who are married, and only one of them changed their name. So maybe keeping your maiden name is more common in the professional world than I thought?
cdo96 said:
I love that this is the overall petty attitude that is our driving factor bc SAME. I don’t even have a SO and his name won’t get the benefit of my doctor name :laugh:
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I read this and laughed to myself thinking now I'm gonna do the same thing, and then I remembered the bae is a PhD student...
 
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capri1722 said:
Personally I plan to change my name because his is easier for people to spell & pronounce. (Not like mine isn't, but it's uncommon and 9 letters long, so people tend to just give up halfway through, even though it's really not that hard. Like holy ****, did we all just forget how to "sound it out"???? /rant)
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Completely off topic, but anyone else showing a line break between "Not like mine" and "isn't"? It's bothering the heck out of me and it won't let me fix it.
 
My partner was told within our first couple months of dating that my last name was definitely not changing and it was a deal breaker or not. Thankfully he didn't give a crap.

Having had several friends go through divorce and the serious pain in the ass changing your name is, I'd personally just not recommend it. Obviously things get a bit more complicated if you're considering children, but still.
 
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jaboo said:
This has been discussed in the past (I looked in the search bar), but I want to hear people’s updated thoughts on changing last names, both personally and professionally.

I’m getting married literally a week after I graduate. Many women I’ve talked to have said at the very least to not change my name professionally just in case the marriage ends poorly (which makes sense and I’m fine with). Now I’m deciding between keeping my maiden name all around or potentially just changing my last name for personal reasons and practicing under my maiden name.
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I'm going to professionally go by my maiden name, but legally change to his last name. We're eloping the week after graduation and so we're also figuring this out now. He offered to change his name to mine if I wanted, but I want to change mine to his. I'll figure out this shenanigans as far as having clients call me by my doctor name when I pick a clinic.
capri1722 said:
Completely off topic, but anyone else showing a line break between "Not like mine" and "isn't"? It's bothering the heck out of me and it won't let me fix it.
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Nope!
 
genny said:
I wish men had this problem.

I kept my last name, but I also have the superior last name in our relationship so there really wasn’t much debate about it.
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My last name isn't even good - hard to pronounce, hard to spell, long, puts me last in alphabetical order stuff, and also not super common but SOUNDS like common last names so is always misspelled - but I will be damned if I change it to some schlub's last name just because of conventions.

I always tell people their last name has got to be a damn sight cooler than mine to even make me consider changing it. Like, would your last name make me Dr. Vader? Dr. Slaughter? Dr. Cool? Dr. Sunshine? Yes, these entertain me, I shall highly consider them. But get out if you have a generic dumb last name that I don't want.

Also... my last name makes my initials DR. SO! Any partners are going to have to put in some leg work to make me happier than that makes me
 
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capri1722 said:
Completely off topic, but anyone else showing a line break between "Not like mine" and "isn't"? It's bothering the heck out of me and it won't let me fix it.
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It looks fine to me. :)

(Little things like this annoy me too! :) )
 
My parents had different last names and my last name was different from my mom's growing up. Tbh I didn't mind it that much because it never seemed to cause any problems for her and I had the added bonus of using her on school projects where I "wasn't allowed to use a family member" until they figured out who she was lol
 
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I actually have some thoughts on this. I have told my boyfriend that if we get married, I probably am not taking his last name. His last name is polish and hard to pronounce and spell and it would be inconvenient professionally. Quite frankly, I was planning to change my last name to Lin, because it was part of the Chinese name given to me at the orphanage. The bf and I have debated over this as he is not super keen on taking on Lin. We discussed hyphenating it and what not... so who knows what’ll happen in the end. Though, I’m quite stubborn ;)
 
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vetmedhead said:
I always tell people their last name has got to be a damn sight cooler than mine to even make me consider changing it. Like, would your last name make me Dr. Vader? Dr. Slaughter? Dr. Cool? Dr. Sunshine? Yes, these entertain me, I shall highly consider them. But get out if you have a generic dumb last name that I don't want.
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The oral surgeons who took out my wisdom teeth were Dr. Slaughter and Dr. Savage. What an epically named duo.
 
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KCgophervet said:
Made a new last name with my husband and we both changed it. Took the first two letters of my birth surname and the first two letters of his and combined them. Go by the new one socially and professionally. Highly recommend, though need to have everyone on board. Made things easier to just have one name to deal with, for kids too. But like hell was I going to grant my husband's surname the Dr. title I spent so much time and energy to acquire.
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I have a classmate who did this! (Not the exact formula, but a new name). So cool.
 
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My middle name sounds like a supervillain when you put "Dr" in front of it, and for years I've been tempted to change it to that instead of to my husband's last name.
 
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I saw an OB/GYN named Dr. Embry. I thought that was cool for an obstetrician - like embryo or embryology.
 
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britzen said:
The oral surgeons who took out my wisdom teeth were Dr. Slaughter and Dr. Savage. What an epically named duo.
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batsenecal said:
We have a resident named Dr. Slaughter. And I worked in a clinic previously owned by a Dr. Sunshine. Pretty solid.

The ortho surgeon i saw when I last broke my arm was Dr. Doktor.

My initials are Dr. BS currently. Lol
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PippyPony said:
My middle name sounds like a supervillain when you put "Dr" in front of it, and for years I've been tempted to change it to that instead of to my husband's last name.
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This is the kind of content I signed up for
 
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Watch me have all these opinions and then change my name to something generic in five years

Obviously I would just be doing it because I need the cover of anonymity
 
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I would just hyphenate and then use just one or both as it suited me and the situation.

And have him hyphenate while you're at it if it matters to you.

It is nice for everyone in the fam and any kids to have the same last name, otherwise you can look like a mixed family, which there isn't anything wrong with that, but family cohesion is cool. I never had the same last name as my step-dad and kinda hated that growing up.

As far as "giving my title" to his last name, I don't think of it quite that way. Their name isn't getting my title, rather, their family is gaining the prestige of having a doctor in it. Like when Meghan became a Duchess, but the reverse where the family is being bestowed having someone with a title in it. If that makes sense.

The only bummer there I guess is feeling that my family is losing someone bearing the name and title, but there's no prestige and no one to represent because it's so small and I'm the last of the line. Which is why the hyphenation so it isn't totally lost.
 
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Crayola227 said:
As far as "giving my title" to his last name, I don't think of it quite that way.
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I never liked this sentiment myself.

I mean people are free to feel that way about it and I'm not judging per se, it just rubs me weird. Maybe because my last name came from an abusive stepparent and I don't like the idea of people thinking that somehow ties me to him or gives him any credit for the things I accomplish. My future husband didn't earn my title but neither did my parents (step or otherwise). Doesn't matter where my name came from. I have made it my own.

I have every intention of changing my name when I get married. That said... changing your name is a pain in butt and if for some reason my first marriage goes poorly I'm not doing it ever again. Keeping whatever I got at that point.

Also, I'm hoping to go by Dr. FirstName rather Dr. LastName anyways.

Also also my parents last names are my middle names so I don't feel like I'm giving anything up when I decide to change the last. I think if that weren't the case then maybe that's what I do... make my maiden name a second middle name and then tack on the new last name. So kind of similar to hyphenating but two middles instead "two" lasts.

All in all I think any way that some decides to do it is fine. Change your name to theirs. Keep your name. Pick a new name. Hyphenate. Use different names in different settings. It's all reasonable. Just depends what you want.
 
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vetmedhead said:
My parents had different last names and my last name was different from my mom's growing up. Tbh I didn't mind it that much because it never seemed to cause any problems for her and I had the added bonus of using her on school projects where I "wasn't allowed to use a family member" until they figured out who she was lol
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I agree with VMH. My mom decided to keep her last name legally and professionally which has never affected me. It's not like it really detracted from anything or prevented us from being the "insert my dad's LastName" Family. It was good especially if there was overlap between my mom's clients and my dad's patients, it would be less likely for people to make the connection that they were married.
 
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WonderingStudent said:
I agree with VMH. My mom decided to keep her last name legally and professionally which has never affected me. It's not like it really detracted from anything or prevented us from being the "insert my dad's LastName" Family. It was good especially if there was overlap between my mom's clients and my dad's patients, it would be less likely for people to make the connection that they were married.
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I kept my mother's maiden name when she got married. So I look like a rather weird branch of the family tree because my brother, mother and father all have a different last name from me, but grandmother and grandfather the same.

But even as a six year old MY last name was MINE and I sure as hell wasn't taking some random man's (my poor dad lol).

The only time it caused any concern was international travel, as the border sometimes looks a bit oddly on families traveling with a kid with a different last name. It was never more than a minor inconvenience though.
 
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For most of my growing years, I did have a different last name from my mom and stepfather. It was a difficult decision to change it when I got married. My maiden name (or at least this branch) ends here. Part of the deal was that one of the children would carry it as a middle name; then due to family politics and I got tired of fighting about it, we did not do that. If my younger son has a child, he has said that he wanted to include it in a middle name.

My mother enjoyed her initials: TIE, TIS, TEN, TIN depending on use of middle name or maiden name as middle name.

I have worked with several women who have used their married name socially, but maiden name professionally. It used to be easier to do this; however, now, it is much harder. Many institutions are demanding that the documents match. If your DL and SSN are using married name, then that is how you will be listed in HR. And your license and DEA have to match. And Board Certifications. I recently had a resident that basically said "screw it" and changed her DL and SSN back to her maiden name just to "appease" HR. Little things to think about....it did not used to be such a big deal-but I guess as times change and institutions become more business than medicine, these things happen.
 
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killerleaf said:
It used to be easier to do this; however, now, it is much harder. Many institutions are demanding that the documents match. If your DL and SSN are using married name, then that is how you will be listed in HR. And your license and DEA have to match. And Board Certifications.
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My plan for this stuff is to introduce me as Dr. BS rather than Dr. BK to clients and to refer to me that way in the work place. All my licensing and such will still match my legal BK name and if a client wants to file a complaint against my license or whatever, my hospital will give them the appropriate information at that time.
 
cdo96 said:
Mine are Dr. CDO... hmm... sounds familiar... :laugh:
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batsenecal said:
Our gifts of anonymity are unrivaled.
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Dr KC still checking in. Though it is slightly less obvious than my original username - which now doesn't fit thanks to new last name (but same initials because otherwise our last name would've rhymed with Taco and I wasn't into that).

Also to whoever suggested putting your maiden/birth name as your middle name if you decide to change your name - YES DO THAT! My husband and I didn't think to do that and now we regret it. Makes it easier for older paperwork etc if your original last name is still somehow part of your current legal name.
 
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MixedAnimals77 said:
When @CoffeeQuestionMark comments on your iso snowshoe trail post giving you false hope because shes also looking for similar info 😂
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I told my friends that I wanted to go snowshoeing this weekend and one said "cool where?" and I said IDK

vetmedhead said:
My last name isn't even good - hard to pronounce, hard to spell, long, puts me last in alphabetical order stuff, and also not super common but SOUNDS like common last names so is always misspelled - but I will be damned if I change it to some schlub's last name just because of conventions.

I always tell people their last name has got to be a damn sight cooler than mine to even make me consider changing it. Like, would your last name make me Dr. Vader? Dr. Slaughter? Dr. Cool? Dr. Sunshine? Yes, these entertain me, I shall highly consider them. But get out if you have a generic dumb last name that I don't want.

Also... my last name makes my initials DR. SO! Any partners are going to have to put in some leg work to make me happier than that makes me
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My last name is very ethnic and I don't really foresee myself marrying anyone with an American last name, but if I did I wouldn't take it

I agree that having something unique/cool is pleasant.
 
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batsenecal said:
Our gifts of anonymity are unrivaled.
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super secret!!! :ninja:
KCgophervet said:
Dr KC still checking in. Though it is slightly less obvious than my original username - which now doesn't fit thanks to new last name (but same initials because otherwise our last name would've rhymed with Taco and I wasn't into that).
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Welcome to the masters of anonymity club! Although I don’t know why you didn’t want it to rhyme with taco. Especially when you could be like “Baby Taco #2 is on its way!”

Are you making a pregnancy announcement? Are you going to Taco Bell? Nobody knows
 
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cdo96 said:
I love that this is the overall petty attitude that is our driving factor bc SAME. I don’t even have a SO and his name won’t get the benefit of my doctor name :laugh:
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Oh also, his mom has a PhD so I guess his family still did get a Dr. title from someone who wasn't born with that name. She was totally supportive of our name change decision and privately told me she sometimes wishes she had kept her birth name, but it wasn't as common a thing back in her day.

Also also (not related to your post cdo) I try to use "birth name" instead of "maiden name" to encourage use of less gender-specific language in this instance. I super appreciate that my husband was willing to change his name for me and how more challenging it was socially for him to do that than it was for me. Just something to think about :)
 
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CoffeeQuestionMark said:
I told my friends that I wanted to go snowshoeing this weekend and one said "cool where?" and I said IDK



My last name is very ethnic and I don't really foresee myself marrying anyone with an American last name, but if I did I wouldn't take it

I agree that having something unique/cool is pleasant.
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I also found White Pine National rec trail and there's a trail up by Palouse Divide that seem doable you might want to check out.
 
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Backstory: hubby was active police officer, and this is a smallish town. All the officers knew our kids, and would try to be nice if they caught one of them speeding.

Daughter is planning wedding. Soon to-be-son-in-law told us he was considering changing his last name to ours, so maybe he could get out of tickets like daughter....hubby laughed himself silly. At that time, I think the boy had 3 or 4 speeding tickets to pay....he never grasped the concept of "speed limit"
 
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vetmedhead said:
My parents had different last names and my last name was different from my mom's growing up. Tbh I didn't mind it that much because it never seemed to cause any problems for her and I had the added bonus of using her on school projects where I "wasn't allowed to use a family member" until they figured out who she was lol
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Yeah similar thing where my mom got remarried and so her last name was different from mine from the time I was like 3. Never was a problem.

I guess the real difficulty is deciding which name the kids get if you do have two different names, but I don't plan to have that issue :laugh: I guess we'd probably hyphenate if we were going to have kids.
 
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finnickthedog said:
I never liked this sentiment myself.

I mean people are free to feel that way about it and I'm not judging per se, it just rubs me weird. Maybe because my last name came from an abusive stepparent and I don't like the idea of people thinking that somehow ties me to him or gives him any credit for the things I accomplish. My future husband didn't earn my title but neither did my parents (step or otherwise). Doesn't matter where my name came from. I have made it my own.

I have every intention of changing my name when I get married. That said... changing your name is a pain in butt and if for some reason my first marriage goes poorly I'm not doing it ever again. Keeping whatever I got at that point.

Also, I'm hoping to go by Dr. FirstName rather Dr. LastName anyways.

Also also my parents last names are my middle names so I don't feel like I'm giving anything up when I decide to change the last. I think if that weren't the case then maybe that's what I do... make my maiden name a second middle name and then tack on the new last name. So kind of similar to hyphenating but two middles instead "two" lasts.

All in all I think any way that some decides to do it is fine. Change your name to theirs. Keep your name. Pick a new name. Hyphenate. Use different names in different settings. It's all reasonable. Just depends what you want.
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My sister and her husband are actually taking my grandma's last name for that reason (though to be fair that connection isn't the greatest either - it was of course originally my grandpa's last name and he left my grandma when my mom was young, but I digress). My sister has wanted to drop her dad's last name for a long time, and her husband has basically no contact with his family.

I think it's just an identity thing. If you don't have strong emotional ties to your last name or even have reasons to dislike it then I can see how changing it when you get married would hold an appeal.
 
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WildZoo said:
Yeah similar thing where my mom got remarried and so her last name was different from mine from the time I was like 3. Never was a problem.

I guess the real difficulty is deciding which name the kids get if you do have two different names, but I don't plan to have that issue :laugh: I guess we'd probably hyphenate if we were going to have kids.
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I think it would be most fun to alternate last names between the kids. Then those ones are part of our team and my spouse and I can pit them against one another and see who produces the superior children
 
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vetmedhead said:
I think it would be most fun to alternate last names between the kids. Then those ones are part of our team and my spouse and I can pit them against one another and see who produces the superior children
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I'm alarmed at the prospect of having enough children that there are "teams"
 
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