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If anyone needs cheering up about their relationship, I was recently dumped via text message. And we weren't even long distance. We go to the same school and live like 5 minutes apart.
I've so been here:mad:
 
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Long distance has taken a bit of a toll on my relationship, but luckily we will both finally be together again over break. LDR is in no way easy, but it is doable.
 
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Oh long distance :yeahright: Other than school breaks, throughout the course of our 6 year relationship we have lived in the same city for...2 years total I think. 9 months when we first started dating and then just over a year during my gap between undergrad and vet school. Eventually he'll find a job here maybe and we'll get to live together. So basically long distance is old hat for me, if anyone needs advice or whatever feel free to PM me anytime. We're one of those couples that likes constant communication, so unless I'm in class or really busy with something (and sometimes even then) I've probably got a text conversation going with him. And then we have weekly skype/movie date nights. It has been really nice being "only" 9-10 hours away instead of 12-13 because he has been able to come visit about once a month :D

If anyone needs cheering up about their relationship, I was recently dumped via text message. And we weren't even long distance. We go to the same school and live like 5 minutes apart.
In high school I was broken up with via text. The guy, who had been one of my best friends for years, lived right down the street, like 6 houses down. And we were both home at the time. People are dumb.
 
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Oh long distance :yeahright: Other than school breaks, throughout the course of our 6 year relationship we have lived in the same city for...2 years total I think. 9 months when we first started dating and then just over a year during my gap between undergrad and vet school. Eventually he'll find a job here maybe and we'll get to live together. So basically long distance is old hat for me, if anyone needs advice or whatever feel free to PM me anytime. We're one of those couples that likes constant communication, so unless I'm in class or really busy with something (and sometimes even then) I've probably got a text conversation going with him. And then we have weekly skype/movie date nights. It has been really nice being "only" 9-10 hours away instead of 12-13 because he has been able to come visit about once a month :D


In high school I was broken up with via text. The guy, who had been one of my best friends for years, lived right down the street, like 6 houses down. And we were both home at the time. People are dumb.
guys are just dumb. There's no analysis behind them, they're just dumb. Oh well! He's not worth my excellence!
 
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Talking about rank lists and finally think I have it sorted. Yell down the hall at fiance to tell him I'm going to submit and he goes "wait!" He comes out, looks at the list, and then jokingly gives me crap about how I didn't actually take his opinion into account. His opinions being that he doesn't have very strong opinions but likes some locations moderately better than others. And of course my favorite program is in his second to least favorite location.

So now I'm overthinking it again and wondering how I should rank things because I want to factor his opinions into it and take him into consideration but of course at some level it's not like this is the final decision and we don't really know what will happen on Match Day.

fjowaifjiiwoej what do I do???
 
Talking about rank lists and finally think I have it sorted. Yell down the hall at fiance to tell him I'm going to submit and he goes "wait!" He comes out, looks at the list, and then jokingly gives me crap about how I didn't actually take his opinion into account. His opinions being that he doesn't have very strong opinions but likes some locations moderately better than others. And of course my favorite program is in his second to least favorite location.

So now I'm overthinking it again and wondering how I should rank things because I want to factor his opinions into it and take him into consideration but of course at some level it's not like this is the final decision and we don't really know what will happen on Match Day.

fjowaifjiiwoej what do I do???

How long would your internship/residency (?) last for? Are his locations based on climate/environmental preferences, or how easy it would be to find a job, or . . .? If it'll be easier for him to find work in certain cities, I'd consider those more highly.

If your program won't be more than a year, then I'd say it's such a short time that location shouldn't be deciding factor (unless he has a job that's difficult to find open positions for). You being able to attend a program you're really excited about is more important than him having to live somewhere he'd sort of prefer not to.
 
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It has been really nice being "only" 9-10 hours away instead of 12-13 because he has been able to come visit about once a month :D.

Fight for this one! My ex and I were only 5 hours apart through undergrad + year two of my gap years, but I was the one who drove to see him (only twice the other way around). Keep him!!!
 
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How long would your internship/residency (?) last for? Are his locations based on climate/environmental preferences, or how easy it would be to find a job, or . . .? If it'll be easier for him to find work in certain cities, I'd consider those more highly.

If your program won't be more than a year, then I'd say it's such a short time that location shouldn't be deciding factor (unless he has a job that's difficult to find open positions for). You being able to attend a program you're really excited about is more important than him having to live somewhere he'd sort of prefer not to.
2-3 years depending on the residency, his job has already agreed to let him work remotely (though he could probably pretty easily find a job in any of the locations), his complaints are more about the way certain larger cities are structured that makes housing a pain, yards small, rent high, etc. Which are legitimate concerns but something we'd already kind of discussed and he seemed much more okay with it earlier (in fact he was the one assuring me it'd be fine).
 
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2-3 years depending on the residency, his job has already agreed to let him work remotely (though he could probably pretty easily find a job in any of the locations), his complaints are more about the way certain larger cities are structured that makes housing a pain, yards small, rent high, etc. Which are legitimate concerns but something we'd already kind of discussed and he seemed much more okay with it earlier (in fact he was the one assuring me it'd be fine).

I'd go with your preferences over his, to be honest. You're only going to be forced to live in certain areas for 2-3 years but if you've presumably based your rank list on factors more specific to the programs and not the areas - maybe mentoring quality, experiences you can gain, schedule, etc. I think these things will be far more influential to your happiness and potentially to your career than a house with a small yard for 3 years.
 
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Question for others who have done LDR before...
I had the most fantastic weekend visiting my SO. We went to the beach, ate awesome food, and just had the best time. I haven't laughed that much in ages. Going back to reality is so hard though. How do you guys handle the transition back to reality after getting a chance to see/spend time with them? I honestly feel more sad today than I did during the five weeks of not seeing each other, and it makes coming back to school miserable.
 
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Question for others who have done LDR before...
I had the most fantastic weekend visiting my SO. We went to the beach, ate awesome food, and just had the best time. I haven't laughed that much in ages. Going back to reality is so hard though. How do you guys handle the transition back to reality after getting a chance to see/spend time with them? I honestly feel more sad today than I did during the five weeks of not seeing each other, and it makes coming back to school miserable.
It definitely sucks. :( Something that I've heard helps is before you leave, make plans for when you'll see them next. It might not be feasible every time, but if you can it gives you something to look forward to.
 
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Question for others who have done LDR before...
I had the most fantastic weekend visiting my SO. We went to the beach, ate awesome food, and just had the best time. I haven't laughed that much in ages. Going back to reality is so hard though. How do you guys handle the transition back to reality after getting a chance to see/spend time with them? I honestly feel more sad today than I did during the five weeks of not seeing each other, and it makes coming back to school miserable.

I was always depressed coming back... My SO used to live in London, so the first two years of vet school we would usually go around 3 months between each time we were able to see each other. The best way for me was making sure we had a solid plan in place for the next time we would be seeing each other (aka I had to have tickets booked or know he had tickets booked) and I had a countdown on my whiteboard. I liked being able to cross numbers out and replace it with lower numbers, lol. Especially if I had a fun weekend and didn't update it for a few days, it was so satisfying knocking several days off my countdown. I would also make an extra effort to be super busy for the first few weeks when I was back so that time would go by a little faster. Whether that was taking on extra responsibilities at school or making extra plans with friends, it helped a lot.
 
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Echoing Lyra and Cyndia. I find that my LDR is much easier to manage when I know exactly when I'll see him next. Doesn't always stop me from crying, but it definitely helps. Especially planning our next visit before we separate, so then we'll say like "see you in three weeks!" as we're leaving.
 
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For those of you in LTRs (especially living together) in vet school, what's your schedule like? Do you study a lot at home?

I'll be living with my boyfriend and I'd prefer to study at school and then come home and be done for the night, but I don't know if that's feasible. Seems like that could easily turn into me never being home.
 
For those of you in LTRs (especially living together) in vet school, what's your schedule like? Do you study a lot at home?

I'll be living with my boyfriend and I'd prefer to study at school and then come home and be done for the night, but I don't know if that's feasible. Seems like that could easily turn into me never being home.

I didn't live with my bf in vet school but I might as well have (our houses were a 7 min walk apart). I mostly studied at the library and my boyfriend would come to the library too. He was also a student (not vet med), which helped.
 
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My SO is coming to visit for 2 days next weekend. It'll be our only visit all quarter and I'm very excited. I miss him so much!
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For those of you in LTRs (especially living together) in vet school, what's your schedule like? Do you study a lot at home?

I'll be living with my boyfriend and I'd prefer to study at school and then come home and be done for the night, but I don't know if that's feasible. Seems like that could easily turn into me never being home.
I live with my husband and studied at home a lot. On days where I was done early, I'd come home, spend an hour doing whatever to decompress, and then study until my husband got home. Make dinner with him and hang out for a little while, and then go back to studying while he either worked on projects for his job, watched tv, played video games or whatever. There were only a few instances per semester when I really needed to cram and would go study at panera or the library so I could focus.
 
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Question for others who have done LDR before...
I had the most fantastic weekend visiting my SO. We went to the beach, ate awesome food, and just had the best time. I haven't laughed that much in ages. Going back to reality is so hard though. How do you guys handle the transition back to reality after getting a chance to see/spend time with them? I honestly feel more sad today than I did during the five weeks of not seeing each other, and it makes coming back to school miserable.

That transition was always so rough. Things that helped me were having a next date lined up as soon as we could, talking every night so at least we still felt connected and having a routine at school so I could just kind of plug myself back in to something when I got home instead of just moping around. Keeping busy is an obvious suggestion but make sure it isn't just during the day when you have school and friends to see. Spend time doing meal prep, exercising, reading to keep your alone time filled. I know a lot of people who would read a book "together" (kind of like virtual book club?), cook a pre-selected meal over Skype or had a show they'd watch every week. That wasn't really an option for us personally but might help you feel more connected.

My inbox is always open if you need to vent :)
 
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Currently, I'm trying to figure out where I am going in the fall... My fiance lives in Champaign IL so UofI would allow her to keep her job that she loves and it's my IS... It is also closer to family. But I received an acceptance to Mizzou which is my favorite school... I could get IS tuition if she had a full-time job there which would make it cheaper that UofI... I'm trying my best to keep an open mind about UofI, but I'm curious if anyone has any advice. My fiance is extremely supportive and will come with me either way. I just want to do what will make us both happy, which seems unlikely.
 
Currently, I'm trying to figure out where I am going in the fall... My fiance lives in Champaign IL so UofI would allow her to keep her job that she loves and it's my IS... It is also closer to family. But I received an acceptance to Mizzou which is my favorite school... I could get IS tuition if she had a full-time job there which would make it cheaper that UofI... I'm trying my best to keep an open mind about UofI, but I'm curious if anyone has any advice. My fiance is extremely supportive and will come with me either way. I just want to do what will make us both happy, which seems unlikely.
Everyone's situation is unique, but I find it hard to justify someone uprooting their career (especially if they love their job) for what could likely be a temporary four years in another city. You should think about what makes the most financial sense. Do you intend on living there for the rest of your life? If not, her leaving her job could be a mistake if it's a solid job and you intend on coming back to IL after school anyways. If she truly is willing to move, maybe she should start looking for a new job now just so you two can see what's actually out there rather than banking on the hypothetical.

Also, Mizzou requires you to live there one year before you become qualified for IS tuition per their website. If one year of OOS tuition at Mizzou makes it more expensive than 4 years IS at Illinois, consider that. If my math is right, you'd spend an extra $15k or so unless you became a resident prior to matriculation (which I don't think is possible at this point). That's just using the $ values both schools give for tuition right now, and isn't including housing/food budget/etc. Not the biggest number right now, but it will turn into a much bigger number very quickly thanks to interest. You probably know all about the COL for Champaign, which is pretty low imo. I'd look into the COL at Mizzou so you can make a better comparison.

Anyways, I'd sit down with her and make a pro/con list, do a ton of research, etc. It's a big decision to make for anyone.
 
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Everyone's situation is unique, but I find it hard to justify someone uprooting their career (especially if they love their job) for what could likely be a temporary four years in another city. You should think about what makes the most financial sense. Do you intend on living there for the rest of your life? If not, her leaving her job could be a mistake if it's a solid job and you intend on coming back to IL after school anyways. If she truly is willing to move, maybe she should start looking for a new job now just so you two can see what's actually out there rather than banking on the hypothetical.

Also, Mizzou requires you to live there one year before you become qualified for IS tuition per their website. If one year of OOS tuition at Mizzou makes it more expensive than 4 years IS at Illinois, consider that. If my math is right, you'd spend an extra $15k or so unless you became a resident prior to matriculation (which I don't think is possible at this point). That's just using the $ values both schools give for tuition right now, and isn't including housing/food budget/etc. Not the biggest number right now, but it will turn into a much bigger number very quickly thanks to interest. You probably know all about the COL for Champaign, which is pretty low imo. I'd look into the COL at Mizzou so you can make a better comparison.

Anyways, I'd sit down with her and make a pro/con list, do a ton of research, etc. It's a big decision to make for anyone.

Thank you for the reply! I emailed the residency office for Mizzou and they sent me information for establishing with a spouse. There is no time requirements, just a lot of paperwork, as long as your spouse has a full-time job in Missouri with benefits.

You are right about her job though. I don't think we would stay in Champaign long-term, but it is definitely a consideration. Thank you for the honest opinion.
 
Random person appears! But I've got something all too familiar to unload:
I'm impatiently waiting on news from my partner on whether or not they will be moving to my town or if they only end up receiving new-nursing-graduate job offers where they currently live. We've been LD-ish for 6 of the 8 years we've been together and I should be used to it but it is finally starting to bother me and I'm not sure why. Maybe because of the glimmer of hope that the LD part might almost be over?
 
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Random person appears! But I've got something all too familiar to unload:
I'm impatiently waiting on news from my partner on whether or not they will be moving to my town or if they only end up receiving new-nursing-graduate job offers where they currently live. We've been LD-ish for 6 of the 8 years we've been together and I should be used to it but it is finally starting to bother me and I'm not sure why. Maybe because of the glimmer of hope that the LD part might almost be over?
I feel you. BF and I had finally nailed down him moving in this summer so he can finish his degree at local university. Recently got news that my job is moving in the next year, so those plans are being put aside.
 
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Random person appears! But I've got something all too familiar to unload:
I'm impatiently waiting on news from my partner on whether or not they will be moving to my town or if they only end up receiving new-nursing-graduate job offers where they currently live. We've been LD-ish for 6 of the 8 years we've been together and I should be used to it but it is finally starting to bother me and I'm not sure why. Maybe because of the glimmer of hope that the LD part might almost be over?
Feel this so much. Fiance and I have been LD for about 4 of the 6 years we've been together. I'm so ready for it to be over but I'm in school and he hasn't been able to find a job here.
 
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Nothing bad to report, just cuteness: my boyfriend full on lost his mind when I showed him pictures/video of a freshly hatched Great Horned Owl chick that came into the wildlife clinic at school :laugh::love:
 
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Update: LD-ish will continue for a couple more years.
They will work 4 shifts as a graduate nurse. We both decided job A with overtime opportunities outweighed job B of living together full time with them driving 2-hours roundtrip 5x a week with less pay and no overtime shifts. I loathe commuting, did it for many years and will never do it again unless my other option was unemployment, so I understand.
Seeing each other one additional day a week will be an improvement considering some people go months between visits.
 
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My fiancé is coming here for his spring break starting this weekend... I'm so excited to see him again (I was just there visiting last week for my spring break), but I'm already sad because I know it's going to be so wonderful to have him here just for him to leave again :'( the hardest part about being in school isn't even the school part for me... it's being so far away from my main support system and rock. Life is so easy and happy when he's here. Lol. Sometimes I make myself want to vomit with how corny we are :laugh:

I hate LD... but I'm still thankful that our lives and our relationship is in a place that can stand it for now!
 
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Dating someone with really bad depression is hard. We've been long distance for a majority of four years, but now that we're engaged the toll of a LD seems to be making things worse. It's been a really hard year for him as he is having a really hard time finding a job where he is. I brought up him finding a job where I am (job market is 100x better) and moving here with me but he's reluctant. Doesn't like change and there are family issues on that side. I want to bring it up again, but am afraid of making things worse. Just kinda at a loss right now. :/
 
Orca, he sounds like a tool, and I'm glad that you got rid of him sooner rather than later.
 
Ouch orca. That's really rough! Agree with Gwen- glad you got rid of him sooner than later- he's a tool!
 
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I’m sorry Pinkpuppy. I don’t have a response for you because I haven’t been in that situations, but some of my classmates have to deal with that. Can y’all talk about it? Explain to him your frustrations?
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I don't really have any advice because I haven't had issues like that with my SO (at least not yet), but I'm sorry he's being that way. :( He definitely shouldn't have expected things to magically change after proposing, and should have expected the lack of money and the pets with being in a relationship with a vet student. My SO has made and will be making some sacrifices for me/our relationship, so I'm worried there will be resentment down the line, but I'm trying to just not take him for granted and let him know how much I appreciate his support.
 
Thanks you guys, just needed to vent. This always happens during exams, too.
 
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So my boyfriend graduated in December and went back home to Georgia for the holidays. He was offered and took a job as a store manager for $1300/week. Not bad at all in my opinion. Thankfully his job lets him travel and he will be in Indiana some. It hurts because I won't get to see him often and long distance is hard. I have done it for 3 years previously (with a guy in another country and we never saw each other for that duration) so I can do it again. Have any of you had experience with this and it be successful as vet students? Any advice helps
 
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So my boyfriend graduated in December and went back home to Georgia for the holidays. He was offered and took a job as a store manager for $1300/week. Not bad at all in my opinion. Thankfully his job lets him travel and he will be in Indiana some. It hurts because I won't get to see him often and long distance is hard. I have done it for 3 years previously (with a guy in another country and we never saw each other for that duration) so I can do it again. Have any of you had experience with this and it be successful as vet students? Any advice helps
I don't have any advice but I have lots of support and love. Let me know if I can help. I know you are a strong person and can do whatever you set your mind to!
 
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I don't have any advice but I have lots of support and love. Let me know if I can help. I know you are a strong person and can do whatever you set your mind to!

Thank you so much Coopah!! We just clicked together the first time we met and we can talk about anything together. I can't help but want this to work out!!
 
So my boyfriend graduated in December and went back home to Georgia for the holidays. He was offered and took a job as a store manager for $1300/week. Not bad at all in my opinion. Thankfully his job lets him travel and he will be in Indiana some. It hurts because I won't get to see him often and long distance is hard. I have done it for 3 years previously (with a guy in another country and we never saw each other for that duration) so I can do it again. Have any of you had experience with this and it be successful as vet students? Any advice helps
Did long distance for all of undergrad and for the first year of vet school. It definitely is difficult but if you are both willing to put in the effort it can work :) we had a weekly Skype date night (we'd watch movies or tv together or whatever) and just made sure we took time to check in with each other every day too, usually through text. I went home over breaks anyway so it worked out that's where he was, and outside of that he visited me when he could.

It can be difficult to set aside the time because you're so busy with school but you just have to be committed.
 
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