- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
- Messages
- 76,960
- Reaction score
- 125,778
- Points
- 21,131
- Location
- The doll factory
- Veterinarian
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
Bring it, I ain't afraid!!
-
Scholarship Access: Becoming a Student Doctor course
Free access to comprehensive medical school prep. Eligible students include AAMC FAP recipients and HS graduates from underserved areas. Apply today.
Relationship Center
- Thread starter Jamr0ckin
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2013
- Messages
- 7,580
- Reaction score
- 6,796
- Points
- 5,246
- Veterinary Student
You grew up in Columbia??? Wait are you IS missouri this cycle? (I have probably asked this like 5 times now, so sorry about that lol)
I am currently there. BI is in the process of transferring, which has had positive prospects from talking with admissions. And I love rock bridge! I definitely didn't know that, have to look into that!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
- Messages
- 76,960
- Reaction score
- 125,778
- Points
- 21,131
- Location
- The doll factory
- Veterinarian
Ahhh fingers crossed everything goes well with her transferring
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Messages
- 2,343
- Reaction score
- 1,691
- Points
- 5,361
- Veterinary Student
Yep, I lived there through high school! Moved away for college though and have been in Boston for the past 9 years. My husband grew up in Columbia too, and went to Mizzou for undergrad. I actually didn't apply to Mizzou for vet school--I don't count as IS anymore, and neither of us really wanted to move back, so I've accepted at Tufts and we're staying in MA while he finishes up med school and residency. Always loved the MU vet school though, we got really great care there over the years. I come back to visit family every once in a while, if the Mizzou SDN crew is around next time I'm there, we should try to get a drink or something.
Great news that the transfer is going well, good luck with everything involved!
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2013
- Messages
- 7,580
- Reaction score
- 6,796
- Points
- 5,246
- Veterinary Student
Definitely! I will rally the troops next time you are around, just let us know!
And thanks! It was a lot of lining up of stuff, but all that is left is her bringing in a hard copy of the application in a couple of days! 🙂
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2015
- Messages
- 1,934
- Reaction score
- 2,134
- Points
- 5,226
- Veterinary Student
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Messages
- 2,343
- Reaction score
- 1,691
- Points
- 5,361
- Veterinary Student
Thanks, Aloha! 🙂
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2013
- Messages
- 1,926
- Reaction score
- 3,363
- Points
- 5,311
- Location
- Parts Unknown
- Veterinarian
I'm kind of in the same boat as Kam, got engaged and had a wedding a quick 3 months later. We also had a free venue, and only had like 75(?) guests. We cut out bridesmaids/groomsmen, did alot of the decorations ourselves or with friends, and borrowed a few truck loads of tables and chairs from our church. The biggest ticket item(s) was the food and cake. I didn't want to skimp on that front. Catering was delicious and we had probably the most amazing cake I'd ever eaten in my whole life. It's been awhile but we probably spent around 3k on everything, maybe closer to 4 if you include dress and tux. We actually made money on the whole ordeal thanks to the extended community on my wife's side.
On the kids front: I've got 2 now, but had them in undergrad not vet school. For the first, my wife and I were both in school. I had just transferred to university from CC and she was finishing up her second to last semester. In an undergrad setting, all of her professors were extremely accommodating when she gave birth early. She got to take finals early and had a few alternate assignments to complete in place of normal school work. We were both miserable for the first few months but once #1 started sleeping through the night things were much better. I still never got more than 4-5hours of sleep a night. It will definitly force you to manage your time well. Parenthood can be draining, but man are kids fun. And terrifying. But mostly fun. #2 came during my last quarter of undergrad and wasn't as difficult to handle as the first. When I start vet school #1 will be 4 and #2 will be almost 2 and a half, but I think having young kids will be a slightly different dynamic than having one during school. To my relief, I think we're done having kids, so I won't (hopefully) get to experience what it's like to have a newborn during vet school.
On the kids front: I've got 2 now, but had them in undergrad not vet school. For the first, my wife and I were both in school. I had just transferred to university from CC and she was finishing up her second to last semester. In an undergrad setting, all of her professors were extremely accommodating when she gave birth early. She got to take finals early and had a few alternate assignments to complete in place of normal school work. We were both miserable for the first few months but once #1 started sleeping through the night things were much better. I still never got more than 4-5hours of sleep a night. It will definitly force you to manage your time well. Parenthood can be draining, but man are kids fun. And terrifying. But mostly fun. #2 came during my last quarter of undergrad and wasn't as difficult to handle as the first. When I start vet school #1 will be 4 and #2 will be almost 2 and a half, but I think having young kids will be a slightly different dynamic than having one during school. To my relief, I think we're done having kids, so I won't (hopefully) get to experience what it's like to have a newborn during vet school.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2007
- Messages
- 26,462
- Reaction score
- 21,593
- Points
- 6,906
- Veterinarian
I got married between 2nd and 3rd year of vet school. My only regret is not getting more planning done the first summer break and the second winter break. 2nd year is hard enough without trying to figure out venue, who to invite, food, etc.
That said, I really didn't mind getting married then. It did eat into potential summer jobs and research
That said, I really didn't mind getting married then. It did eat into potential summer jobs and research
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2010
- Messages
- 12,023
- Reaction score
- 13,987
- Points
- 6,576
Married between 2nd and 3rd year, planned from Canada. I'm not a big wedding person so it was nice to just get it over with. My parents paid since they're traditional like that and they had the money. Keep it small - court house or venue can be free or very cheap, guest list small=less food or you can potluck it, etc. It won't be a splashy dream wedding at that point but if you need to keep it cheap, it can be done.
And for all of you lamenting your non-married status, we were together 8 years before we got married and not for lack of commitment. If it's meant to happen, it will.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2015
- Messages
- 93
- Reaction score
- 42
- Points
- 4,651
- Pre-Medical
it's hard because i got into my IS (cornell) but my SO is moving with me and job opportunities are way less at Cornell compared to...say Penn and Tufts. I want him to have opportunity to. If he gets a better paying job at Penn or Tufts, then it may be worth the extra $60 for the four years... not to mention his/our quality of life in a bigger city. well first thing first gotta get accepted to Penn or Tufts....
I was also married between 2nd & 3rd year (this past summer). Given the chance I would do it again that summer - the last summer vacation probably until I'm retired. We were lucky that my parents and my SO's grandparents helped us out a lot with the finances. My husband has graduated and been working for a few years so we were able to save some money that way too. I did everything I could to cut costs and save money during the planning. We had the ceremony at his grandparent's farm and the reception at a club my parents belonged to (hello discounts). Did a lot of DIY stuff too. The only thing I would do differently is starting the planning the summer before so I didn't have to balance wedding planning with 2nd year classes as much...
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2013
- Messages
- 2,086
- Reaction score
- 2,637
- Points
- 5,271
- Location
- The ER. Always.
- Veterinarian
Just curious, where are you getting the $60,000 difference from? According to: http://www.vinfoundation.org/apputil/project/defaultadv1.aspx?id=5327182&said=-1, the difference would be ~100,000-170,000, (obviously this can be mitigated by living cheaply etc), but in the long run with interest it would be a huge difference and something to really consider, though I understand it being a lot more complicated with a SO involved.
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2009
- Messages
- 5,906
- Reaction score
- 5,393
- Points
- 5,501
- Veterinary Student
Yeah I was going to say, tufts and penn are some of the worst offenders for high OOS tuition. Is it really just a 60k difference?
In all honesty. If the difference is 100-170k I would risk the long distance if need be unless the SO's salary differential can make up for that by being in MA or Philly. How awful will it be if you break up anyway and you alone had to shoulder that extra 100-170k on your own (you can bet he's not going to give you that money if you break up). If you stay together and take on that extra debt burden, it would suck big time and that's your best case scenario. That's a lot of extra debt. If you break up and you're at Cornell, hey at least you'll thank yourself. There's plenty of other fish in the ocean. Or, he can come with you to Ithaca and do the best he can there. Sucks for him, but sacrifices have to be made somewhere, and that may be the best of both world for you two.
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2015
- Messages
- 93
- Reaction score
- 42
- Points
- 4,651
- Pre-Medical
Yes, sorry 60k was just a very low estimate (but still a lot of money). good good points, can't guarantee what will happen in the future and would definitely suck a lot to be stuck with all that debt. Will definitely keep what you said in mind throughout the process.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2015
- Messages
- 355
- Reaction score
- 490
- Points
- 5,151
- Pre-Veterinary
My boyfriend has decided that he doesn't want to move with me when I start vet school. He also thinks that we don't really have a future romantic-wise, so when I move will be the end of it. He's still an amazing guy though and I do hope that we remain friends. We care deeply for each other, but he's just not feeling the romantic connection anymore. It still hurts a lot though.
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2016
- Messages
- 9
- Reaction score
- 5
- Points
- 4,551
- Pre-Veterinary
So I may be going to vet school in the UK/Ireland and my long term boyfriend will be staying here. Anyone had to go through that during vet school? Is it possible?
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2014
- Messages
- 5,660
- Reaction score
- 6,218
- Points
- 5,271
- Non-Student
Sorry for the breakup 🙁
I went to Ross while my fiancé stayed in Ohio. It's doable. You just have to have a really good foundation before you tackle something like super long distance. I at least was relatively close to the same time zone as him for the majority of the time which made communicating a lot easier. It may be more difficult for you but there are always ways to make it work. If you do end up going, feel free to PM me and I can suggest some tips that my fiancé and I found helpful.
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2013
- Messages
- 6,833
- Reaction score
- 8,693
- Points
- 5,421
- Veterinarian
There are some intra-class romances/marriages. A few of my friends have expressed to me that they don't feel it's possible for them to set aside time to actively try and meet someone (I mean if you're not working, not going out as much, it gets hard). A close friend of mine actually is on Tinder and met her boyfriend that way. Not everyone uses it for brief hookups.
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2011
- Messages
- 2,266
- Reaction score
- 469
- Points
- 5,191
- Veterinary Student
I dated a guy in my vet school class (twice actually because I never learn). I don't necessarily recommend that. My current boyfriend is a PhD student that I met at a vet school party. I didn't go into school wanting to meet someone but I'm really happy that I did. I personally don't think dating in vet school is too hard. That's partly because I don't study as much as a lot of my classmates and partly because my boyfriend is super supportive. We don't hang out the days leading up to a test or I go and study at his place while he watches tv. Finding someone who is supportive and understanding makes it a lot easier.
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2012
- Messages
- 2,910
- Reaction score
- 2,051
- Points
- 5,316
It's probably easier when you're one of the 20 XYs thrown into a sea of women
Had no expectations or intentions of getting with a classmate, but here I am almost 26 months later, happy as a clam and moving in with her in a couple months before we start clinics.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2015
- Messages
- 70
- Reaction score
- 115
- Points
- 4,651
- Pre-Veterinary
It's probably easier when you're one of the 20 XYs thrown into a sea of women
Had no expectations or intentions of getting with a classmate, but here I am almost 26 months later, happy as a clam and moving in with her in a couple months before we start clinics.
Glad to hear that it worked out so well for you! I've been with my boyfriend for several years now and we were fortunate enough to both be accepted to the same veterinary school this year - double the stress but double the happiness, I guess? 😛
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2012
- Messages
- 2,910
- Reaction score
- 2,051
- Points
- 5,316
Thanks 🙂
Seems pretty common for some romance (or just hookups hah) between vet students (in and out of classes). I don't think it's a bad thing, just try to be smart and mature about it. Unfortunately I've seen some ugliness happen.
Thanks! Perfect coincidence for you two! Funny how those things work out. I was deciding between four schools, probably never would've met her if I hadn't come to K-State.
Honestly, it makes it less stressful for both of us. Perfect understanding of what each other is going through, and a built in study partner all the time! Just don't get competitive about grades if either if you has that streak. Also the best sorts of study breaks....
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2009
- Messages
- 5,906
- Reaction score
- 5,393
- Points
- 5,501
- Veterinary Student
I met my SO through online dating during clinics 4th year, which was by far the busiest. He lived like an hour away to boot.
Worked out great. We're still together 2.5 yrs later. It's all a matter of setting priorities and making expectations clear.
Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile app
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2014
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 25
- Points
- 4,631
- Pre-Veterinary
I'm so sorry to hear that. Just keep in mind that you'll be in a completely different environment in vet school. You'll be occupied with a million different things and meeting new people. If it was meant to be with your boyfriend, it would work itself out. If not, that's okay, and you have so many other things to look forward to/focus on. Hope you keep your chin up.
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2010
- Messages
- 12,023
- Reaction score
- 13,987
- Points
- 6,576
I went to school in Canada while my husband stayed behind on the east coast. It is doable, but very, very difficult and like allie said, you need to have a very strong foundation going in. A lot of long term relationships broke up during vet school, and not just first year. Communication is key, which will be hard with the time difference. Feel free to PM if you have further questions.
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2015
- Messages
- 154
- Reaction score
- 56
- Points
- 4,651
- Pre-Veterinary
I wondered this. I'll be 30 if/when I enter so I can't say I'm actively looking, but I can't say I'm not either. I definitely don't hope to or intend to find someone from within the class. If I was 22 I'd say cool to being single for another 4 years, but at this age it would be nice to settle down.... I guess it will happen when it happens.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2007
- Messages
- 26,462
- Reaction score
- 21,593
- Points
- 6,906
- Veterinarian
just remember that the percentage of guys in the class is like 20%. We had several classmates start dating in vet school (and are now married) either within their own class or in other classes. Even had a few with clinicians or residents.
So doable, but not super easy to do.
So doable, but not super easy to do.
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2015
- Messages
- 154
- Reaction score
- 56
- Points
- 4,651
- Pre-Veterinary
haha yes, that's why I said I want someone outside the class...
Besides, one of us in debt is enough. A little variety is healthy. 😉
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2007
- Messages
- 26,462
- Reaction score
- 21,593
- Points
- 6,906
- Veterinarian
oh I definitely agree. My husband only knows what he does about vet med from helping me study/quizzing me. But people still make it work.
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2012
- Messages
- 2,493
- Reaction score
- 2,993
- Points
- 5,591
- Veterinary Student
We think alike. I was reading this thread and thinking gah, that would be a lot of combined debt to date another vet student 😉
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2008
- Messages
- 18,998
- Reaction score
- 11,459
- Points
- 5,341
- Location
- The Countryside
- Veterinarian
My class had two marriages within the class, one long term relationship still going, and three (?) marriages to people either above or below within the vet school. But also plenty of relationships that didn't pan out either. Just be smart about it and stay out of drama!
That moment when your relationship becomes telanovella-worthy out of nowhere and it's like really? now? Do we have to do this now?
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2013
- Messages
- 7,855
- Reaction score
- 20,136
- Points
- 7,211
- Location
- Perpetual state of disarray
- Veterinarian
When you have to use those words, you know you're dealing with a drama llama.
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2013
- Messages
- 6,833
- Reaction score
- 8,693
- Points
- 5,421
- Veterinarian
Apparently wanting to cry on my boyfriend's shoulder (over the phone) about school being tough and my family falling apart is just too much of a drain on his time. You know, as much as I love video games, I really hate his.
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2016
- Messages
- 6
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 4,551
- Veterinary Student
I've always found that it's important to focus on the positives with school. Somebody really smart once told me, "you decide if you're going to have a good day or a bad day everyday when you wake up." If you only focus on how tough things are, you're going to burn out. Me and my partner have a great relationship and will be celebrating our one year anniversary soon. We never talk about school at home. I do need to figure out when our anniversary is though.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2013
- Messages
- 7,855
- Reaction score
- 20,136
- Points
- 7,211
- Location
- Perpetual state of disarray
- Veterinarian
I'm only a Facebook message away if you need anything!
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2013
- Messages
- 6,833
- Reaction score
- 8,693
- Points
- 5,421
- Veterinarian
Yeah I know. I've just been rejected from every opportunity I've applied for so far so it was getting annoying.
Thanks 😀
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2016
- Messages
- 6
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 4,551
- Veterinary Student
Yeah that's frustrating. But if you keep hitting obstacles, it might be the lord's way of telling you to try traveling down a different path. But more power to you for overcoming those obstacles.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2016
- Messages
- 6
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 4,551
- Veterinary Student
That really sucks. My s/o on the first day that I went to vet school. Although you probably won't agree with what I'm about to say right now, it is probably for the best that you end it now. If I've noticed anything Vet school will change you like you wouldn't believe. The odds that you will be the same person as now is slim to nil. Also, to be honest you are probably dodging an emotional disaster because I've watched a lot of "pre-vet school relationships" explode and self destruct in some of the most magnificent ways possible. To be honest most relationships don't survive vet school. Focus on your studies now, life later.
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2013
- Messages
- 6,833
- Reaction score
- 8,693
- Points
- 5,421
- Veterinarian
I'm not going to take popularity contests/voting as a sign to go down a different path, lol. Just that frustration combined with the fact that my family isn't talking at all....a little overwhelming.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2013
- Messages
- 4,204
- Reaction score
- 3,942
- Points
- 5,826
- Veterinarian
I'm sorry, that really sucks 🙁 From what you said I'm guessing you're trying to stay together until you leave.. but just a word of advice, I'd caution you to consider maybe ending it sooner if you know it's going to end when you leave. Otherwise you'll be starting vet school while dealing with a fresh break up, and it might make it an even tougher transition. On the plus side though, it'll be great that you're moving someplace new, you'll be able to start fresh and make a ton of new friends, and you'll be kept very busy.
It's definitely possible! I had the opposite situation, I met my SO while living in England, and then ended up deciding to come back to the states without him. It was a really tough decision, but I had gotten into my dream school and he insisted I go there instead of staying in Europe because of him. We'd had a very solid relationship up until then, so we both just decided to really commit to it and give it our all. It's been really tough at times (birthdays/anniversaries are the worst!), but we've made it work. You just have to make sacrifices to make sure to make time for each other, especially with the time difference. Btw, as hard as it is to be apart, it's also kind of a blessing in disguise. When vet school began, I was able to adjust to the workload and make friends without worrying about neglecting him. I had friends who went through some serious rocky patches at the beginning, because their SO's couldn't understand how busy they were. I'm actually super lucky because he finally got his visa and will be moving here for good in May, but to be honest I'm almost nervous to have him back with me since my schedule will be crazy with clinics then lol. Anyways, feel free to PM me if you have any questions or want any more advice! 🙂
I've had an amazing 5 months together with this woman I met right before clinics. She's leaving in about a month to go hike the Appalachian Trail (which takes 5-6 months). I knew this going into the relationship but it doesn't make it any easier. I've had a hard time coming to terms with her leaving for such an extended period. I know we can do long distance, but I've just become so accustomed to having her here with me in clinics it'll be such a change. If anyone has any advice for maintaining a long distance relationship, id certainly welcome it.
Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile app
Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile app
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
- Messages
- 76,960
- Reaction score
- 125,778
- Points
- 21,131
- Location
- The doll factory
- Veterinarian
Is she going to have internet/phone access readily while she's hiking?
I did long distance for 4 years, but we never went more than 3 months at a time without seeing each other. We coped with the time apart with constant texting and weekly Skype/Netflix dates. It definitely tests your communication skills...any issues we had were usually due to miscommunication that probably wouldn't have happened if we were face to face.
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2010
- Messages
- 12,023
- Reaction score
- 13,987
- Points
- 6,576
There's a lot of good advice on this thread. The tricky part for you will be communication - arguably the most important part of any LDR - due to the patchy cell service. Agree on a way to communicate before she goes, but be adaptable.
I know it seems like a long time, but keep busy and 5-6 months will fly by, I promise 🙂
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2014
- Messages
- 5,660
- Reaction score
- 6,218
- Points
- 5,271
- Non-Student
My roommate says sending care packages, and that if you contact her via texting while she's on the trail it might take a couple days to actually come through and get a response. Maybe doing hand-written letters back and forth?
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2013
- Messages
- 6,833
- Reaction score
- 8,693
- Points
- 5,421
- Veterinarian
I've done a 4 year LDR and one that's going on 2.5 years with on/off long distance. The best thing you can do is attempt to keep some sort of routine with her if you can. The most frustrating thing for me was the whole "Hey, can you talk? No, I'm busy with ___." That would happen several times a week with either of us being the busy one, and led to a lot of fighting about who was not making time for who. If you can set aside a time each week (or however often you guys can come up with), I think it would definitely help you out. It's something to look forward to as well.
If there's unreliable cell service/internet, mail is the way to go. Or send her with a series of letters she can open once a week just to keep that spark there. In my experience, it can be fairly hard to maintain the 'romance' aspect of a LDR, but both of mine have had their fair share of communication issues that made it worse. My first one ended because we just stopped caring at that point (6 year relationship with 4 being me away at school) and being together became a routine rather than what we wanted. I was also younger then...maturity helps.
ETA: LDR's can be a lot of work to maintain. It is totally dependent on the two of you. If you guys are normally attached at the hip, you might feel the need to communicate more frequently. If you're more independent, less communication may suffice. If you guys are opposites, compromising is in order. The best thing is to talk with her and come up with a plan that makes both of you happy.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2015
- Messages
- 2,875
- Reaction score
- 3,176
- Points
- 5,436
- Location
- The Ocean
- Veterinarian
When I lived in South Africa and my SO lived in California, we used WhatsApp to communicate since we couldn't really talk on the phone. Easy to send videos/pictures/voice messages/texts. We also had skype dates and with the timezone separation, I'd wake up to cook breakfast and he'd cook dinner, then we'd eat together via skype. I remember I made a breakfast burrito and he made burritos for his dinner one time so we could try to eat a similar meal. It was difficult and we didn't see each other at all during that time. We would send handwritten letters and packages as well. Then, when I got back to the US, I was in AZ and he was still in Cali, but we got to see each other more often. Now, we are living together until I go to school. It's difficult, but definitely doable if you work hard at it and you are both busy. The worst times were when one person was very busy for days at a time, and the other person didn't have much to do.
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2013
- Messages
- 3,040
- Reaction score
- 4,212
- Points
- 5,266
- Location
- The Sooner State
- Veterinarian
How long were you long distance with living in different countries? My boyfriend is going to be studying abroad in China in the fall, and I'm trying to remain optimistic considering it's only a semester and I'll be so busy adjusting to vet school, but I'm nervous about making it work with the 10 hour time difference, and China possibly blocking certain social media apps. At least once he comes back it will make the distance from Missouri to Kansas seem like nothing! We've been together for over three years, so we have a strong foundation, and I think we're pretty good at communicating (much better than my ex was, we were long distance for a year and it was a disaster), but it's going to be a huge adjustment considering we live together now. I will admit I'm excited to live with my cat again (he's deathly allergic, so she lives with my parents now), and not have to deal with his messiness! 😛
