Relationship problems during Step study

[IXRLMNQZ149]

This is my first time posting in any of these forums, so apologies if I'm doing this wrong.

I'm an MS2 currently studying for Step 1, and my exam date is less than a month away. For the past year, I've been dating an MS4 in my program, and besides some bumps, I thought things had been going relatively well. He matched at a residency program a couple hours away by airplane, which we were both happy about because he had really liked the program, and it was also closer than a lot of the other programs he had interviewed at. We had both decided that we still wanted to be together, and that a couple years of long distance would be hard, but doable.

Since I've been step studying for awhile and I've really struggled with it, and he was likely stressed about matching, we've fought a little bit more frequently than usual over the past couple months. I always chalked it up to stress, and thought we were still solid in our relationship. However, we had what I thought was a minor fight this past weekend, and he texted me this morning saying he doesn't know if we should continue dating. We will hopefully talk in person once he's done at clinic today, but I don't know how to approach this conversation. Half of me wants to just let the break-up happen, because if he really feels that way, I don't want to drag out a relationship that will just hurt both of us more the further it drags out. The other half of me wants to show him that we actually are compatible, and that the fight we had over the weekend was a minor hiccup, and furthermore, our relationship will probably get much better once I take step 1 and am no longer stressed out about it. I am also confused as to why he would bring this up so close to my test date, when he knows how big of a deal this test is, and how much I've struggled with studying.

Have any of you had relationship problems during step studying? If so, how did you handle it? If my boyfriend is set on breaking up, or if he brings up points that make me realize we aren't compatible, I'm potentially dealing with a pretty significant break-up a few weeks before taking Step 1. If this happens, what are some ways for me to get through this and not have a nervous breakdown during the exam?

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[operaman]

The key will be using nbme exams to assess your progress as well as your innate knowledge of yourself and how well you perform under adverse conditions. Give yourself some time to grieve and then reassess your progress under exam conditions. If you are not performing well, then you can meet with the advisors at your school and discuss the situation with them. There may be ways to take a little extra time and they can work with you to find something that will allow you to perform at your best on the test. Worst case scenario you could look into a LOA and a research year to give you time to move past it and get back on your feet.

No matter what happens, you’ll want to get plugged in with your schools counseling services this week so you can talk to someone confidentially and make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

 

[raiderette]

I know your partner is stressed with his life changing so soon. However, how has he already forgotten how important it is to focus on Step 1. Personally, I would put your preparation before any serious discussions. If he really wants to hash it out now, take a break from the relationship. This is one time in your life that you are allowed to be absolutely selfish, especially if you don't feel the study prep is going well. Make a date to talk it all out after your test.

 

[mistafab]

I would say do whatever you need to do to get back in a good step 1 headspace. Check your prep like @operaman said and see if you will be prepared for your test date. Either surpress the relationship stuff until after step 1 or deal with it asap so you can move on. Make your priorities clear and be honest with what your needs are - whatever they may be.

 

[DrfluffyMD]

This is my first time posting in any of these forums, so apologies if I'm doing this wrong.

I'm an MS2 currently studying for Step 1, and my exam date is less than a month away. For the past year, I've been dating an MS4 in my program, and besides some bumps, I thought things had been going relatively well. He matched at a residency program a couple hours away by airplane, which we were both happy about because he had really liked the program, and it was also closer than a lot of the other programs he had interviewed at. We had both decided that we still wanted to be together, and that a couple years of long distance would be hard, but doable.

Since I've been step studying for awhile and I've really struggled with it, and he was likely stressed about matching, we've fought a little bit more frequently than usual over the past couple months. I always chalked it up to stress, and thought we were still solid in our relationship. However, we had what I thought was a minor fight this past weekend, and he texted me this morning saying he doesn't know if we should continue dating. We will hopefully talk in person once he's done at clinic today, but I don't know how to approach this conversation. Half of me wants to just let the break-up happen, because if he really feels that way, I don't want to drag out a relationship that will just hurt both of us more the further it drags out. The other half of me wants to show him that we actually are compatible, and that the fight we had over the weekend was a minor hiccup, and furthermore, our relationship will probably get much better once I take step 1 and am no longer stressed out about it. I am also confused as to why he would bring this up so close to my test date, when he knows how big of a deal this test is, and how much I've struggled with studying.

Have any of you had relationship problems during step studying? If so, how did you handle it? If my boyfriend is set on breaking up, or if he brings up points that make me realize we aren't compatible, I'm potentially dealing with a pretty significant break-up a few weeks before taking Step 1. If this happens, what are some ways for me to get through this and not have a nervous breakdown during the exam?

Ask yourself, if a man who you want to marry will be capable of doing this to you so close to the most important exam of your life.

You’ll have your answer then.

 

[siliso]

I’d wager it’s more to do with what he wants for his future (ie to go somewhere new and be unencumbered) than that you’re really just now incompatible or even that you’re studying. Plus a text, really, after a year? Cut your losses and move on.

 

[Osminog]

It's selfish and disgusting to even consider breaking up with someone just a few weeks before they have to confront a major life obstacle (such as Step 1). He's an M4, so he's been through the stresses of the board prep game; there's really no excuse for his behavior.

Whether you ultimately stay together or break up, keep in mind that a decent, principled person would never do what he's doing right now.

 

[AsianPersuasion]

You have to develop Beyonce's attitude. Tell him, "Don't get it twisted boy, I'll bounce to the next d**k boy.."

You're about to take one of the most important exams of your life. F**k him and his feelings. You're a bad b**ch, do you.

 

[NotYou20]

He texted you that he wasn't sure you should continue dating?? No no no. If you break up, you lost a gutless dude and you'll be better for it.

 

[Durty-Trixxx]

You have to develop Beyonce's attitude. Tell him, "Don't get it twisted boy, I'll bounce to the next d**k boy."

I'll never understand women like Beyonce. She is sexy and worth $300 million+ on her own --- and yet she tolerates a cheating hubby like Jay-Z, who is not much in the looks and charm department and his talent got flushed down the crapper a long time ago. Beyonce could literally be bouncing from d*ck to d*ck with as many handsome and virile men as her libido can handle.

Why tolerate the relationship crap that us mere mortals have to?

 

[Microshaft]

I'll never understand women like Beyonce. She is sexy and worth $300 million+ on her own --- and yet she tolerates a cheating hubby like Jay-Z, who is not much in the looks and charm department and his talent got flushed down the crapper a long time ago. Beyonce could literally be bouncing from d*ck to d*ck with as many handsome and virile men as her libido can handle.

Why tolerate the relationship crap that us mere mortals have to?

Maybe cuz she really likes him despite him cheating I guess
also money doesn't automatically solve relationship problems