Retaking a 512 in May, feeling extremely unmotivated

[autumn123]

I'm sorry this is a long post. I took the MCAT last June for the first time and got 512 (128/123/130/131). I had my med school application ready last year but decided I wasn't ready yet. I want to retake this year with the goal of reaching 518+. My undergrad GPA is 3.6, postbacc (non-science but health-related) GPA 4.0. I registered to retake the exam this May and started seriously studying for the exam around February this year. I wanted to prioritize improving CARS then CP.

Unfortunately I've been failing at my goal and I'm at a downward spiral having very little motivation to study as the test day comes near. I am not sure if it's worth it and whether I should cancel the test. Should I make better use of my time doing something else? (I could be finding a doctor to shadow and get another letter of recommendation, or Work on interview skills and get better at Casper/SJT...). Should I sit the exam anyway and if I did badly, I can just void it?

I have ENOUGH resources to study well, but due to low motivation, I did not make the best use out of them. Now I only prioritize using official AAMC materials, but I'm not even sure whether I'd be able to finish it. I tried staying focused by going to the library, going on "study with me" sessions on Zoom, making a schedule, setting goals etc. I tried using the study strategies that worked for me last year. I realize I was surprisingly so much more focused and motivated last year compared to now even though last year I had some family and health problems.

I am disappointed for not seeing improvement in CARS. At some point I thought I found a strategy that works for me, but no, the passages where I got only 1 question wrong gives me hope but are far and few in between. Oftentimes, I was able to narrow down 2 choices, but then got it wrong. Beginning of April I got sick and lost days without doing my regular CARS practice. What's the point of retaking the test if the section I need improvement most badly doesn't improve?

Everyday is a drag. I feel depressed. I sit and study for hours but my mind is fogged and drifting. When I read CARS passages it seems like there's a wall between me and the passage, and I couldn't absorb what they're saying at all. Doing just 1 CARS passage is hard. I'm wondering what strategies I could use next. A month ago I took AAMC FL1 (this is the 3rd time I took it) and got 511. Last week I took AAMC FL4 (2nd time taking it) and got 491 (126/119/123/123). The brain fog was hitting me really hard. I feel like this is not representative of what I actually know. I'm wondering if I should buy a new, non-AAMC FL to practice on. Maybe having a brand-new FL will give me more motivation to do it and trust that the score reflects my real performance?

Sorry this is long. Thank you so much for reading my venting. I would love to hear any advice... How did you decide whether to keep going or to quit an unnecessary struggle? How did you find the energy to keep going?

Things I used to study this year that's different from last year: I bought an extra set of MCAT books for Chem and Physics (TBR) to work on their difficult practice problems, but eventually I found myself falling way short of using them. I have spent several hundred dollars for CARS tutoring sessions with a private tutor and work on TPR CARS workbook. Khan and other YouTube channels have also been very helpful for me in the past and I was planning to watch tons of them... but my productivity didn't turned out well.

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[Lawpy]

Sorry about your struggles. Have you tried seeking help from therapy? Mindset is huge for the MCAT (and for any standardized exam). But it looks like you’re struggling and need help, and therapy can be valuable. My suggestion is put MCAT studying on hold for now. You don’t want to mess it up. Seek help, recover and come back stronger and more confident

 

[Dr Meow]

512 is a good score though!
I think retaking while burned out is gonna backfire.

 

[Ddubz]

512 is a good score though!
I think retaking while burned out is gonna backfire.

I agree

OP: Not really sure what school you’re attempting to get in but 512 is good enough for most MD schools and all DO schools. It sounds like you’re wasting time and mental health trying to improve something that doesn’t need improved.

ADCOMS aren’t just looking for high scores on GPA and MCAT. They’re looking for well-rounded applicants. You didn’t provide much as to the other aspects of your application and you already stated that your app was ready but you held off.

If I were in your shoes, I’d be asking myself why I REALLY didn’t apply last year? Did I have clinical experience, shadowing, volunteer work? Did I have research experience? And, most importantly, do I really WANT to be a physician?

Answer these questions and find out what those are for yourself. Then, if you’re not lacking anything, apply with confidence and enjoy the process. You have an MCAT score that will get you into some great schools. But, you’re more than a score. You’re a person with a story and that is what’s going to differentiate you.

 

[Dr Meow]

But, you’re more than a score. You’re a person with a story and that is what’s going to differentiate you.

That's the hokage in you speaking talk no jutsu

 

[lockstitch]

I think what OP’s worried about would be whether the 123 in CARS will be a huge impediment. At the same time, I agree entirely that taking it while burned out is unnecessary mental torment, and unnecessarily risky score-wise at that.

Your best option is somewhere along these lines IMO: step away from the MCAT first, gauge the strength of the rest of your app (undergrad/grad health professions advisor, mentors, WAMC post) and see how, and if, you can work with the CARS score you already have. Take a good rest overall (maybe that’s why you found it hard to apply last year as well?). You’ll probably find some encouragement from all the things you do have going for your app. You might have to adjust your school list from what you originally hoped for, but in the end you want to be a doctor and whichever school gets you there is OK, right? (Right?)

Maybe then you will then weigh up your options and find that yes, you have a need and a good plan to improve your CARS score while hitting about the same scores on the other sections. Plus, you’re rested up and more prepared in terms of mindset. That’s the only situation when I think you should go ahead and retake, especially given that you’re now burned out. All the best and I hope you get yourself some good rest.

 

[autumn123]

Hi all, thank you so much for reading and for giving me your advice. This is really helpful. It does make sense I really need to rethink taking this MCAT and start putting my mind onto a better plan.