- Joined
- May 10, 2019
- Messages
- 27
- Reaction score
- 70
Hello all,
I'll preface this by saying that I can't identify any reason why the physician-scientist route isn't a good fit for me. I'd like to seek the advice of the wise among you as I begin to make tougher decisions on the direction I take my research. So far I have loved being a generalist, never closing doors, learning all that I can; however, I feel like without deciding to delve deeper with certain techniques I hazard being left in the dust by picking the wrong avenues.
Some stats/background:
Canadian Citizen
Junior, Neuroscience at McGill University in Montreal
cGPA: 3.95
MCAT 1 (Aug 2019): 516 (131/123/131/131) Lowest AAMC CARS was 127. Retaking Jan 2020.
Rich EC background with focus in mental health advocacy and empowering my peers to be engaged with science. Editor for school's Global Health Publication (potentially Editor-in-Chief in senior year)
60 hours physician shadowing, no primary care
100ish hours Psychiatric ED and ICU
10 hours soup kitchen
Research history:
1.5 years post-mortem lab (tissue handling and processing, microscopy, molecular biology). First lab experience, never got full ownership of a project but had side projects from my supervisor. She didn't like me very much despite my attentiveness, diligence, and professional demeanor.
Summer 2018 (after first year) performing an EMR review of ED presentations in a particular at-risk group. Published 2nd author in low-tier (? IF:3.0) journal. Should have pushed for first (it was earned). Presented poster 3x at local conferences.
Summer 2019 + current term in a mouse lab looking at adolescent neurodevelopment in response to synthetic cannabinoids, project is my own. A lot of behavioural work. Feel shafted because my PI said that I would have the opportunity to perform molecular work and stereology during my experiment, but withdrew due to funding. Presented poster at institutional conference. Will probably land middle author when the work is published, as its part of a multi-institute collaboration (and I'm just the undergrad :'().
On exchange at University College London for neuroscience from Jan2020 to hopefully Aug2020 where I may work with one of the only groups in the world running clinical trials on psychedelic assisted psychotherapy in treatment-resistant depression. Would get to learn neuroimaging too.
Summary: Research interest predominantly in aetiology and treatment of severe mental illness from an intersectional lens. I'm interested in utilizing my training in neuroscience to answer important questions in psychiatry. 1 2nd author paper, high-middle author in the works. 4x local/institutional posters (1st author).
My predicament/where you come in
I really do have a passion for research, I just often feel like I get unlucky with my PI's. It's very hard being the energetic undergrad brimming with ideas that are hushed because of poor support/funding. Doesn't help that I want to become an MD/PhD in a lab full of PhDs... I don't see myself pursuing a PhD not in neuroscience or biomedical engineering, and am hard-pressed to find my next labs that will help me advance towards my goals. I have found animal work incredibly time consuming. I currently do not possess the skills necessary to be succesful in big data or neuroimaging, but feel capable of learning (slowly!). I'm particularly interested in trying out iPSC/stem-cell research, but am not sure of its translation in the diseases I'm currently interested in. A whole other can of worms is that I've got vested interests in public health/healthcare optimization in psychiatry; through some of my connections, I might have the opportunity to work on identifying evidence-based treatments in prodromal-psychosis. The final point poses a very interesting clinical question, but not is not the research which will immediately poise me as a strong candidate for grad school...
I'm kind of a mess, really. I've got my foot and mind in a lot of things, which makes deciding what I'll work on during the next two years before I apply to MD/PhD programs particularly challenging. Do you have any strategies for remedying your a) interests b) skills c) deficits in your field? Struggling with these questions is honestly starting to get pesky as I need to be spending time on my classes. I believe I felt similarly before starting at my current lab, and perhaps this feeling of existential dread/the weight of my career hinging on these choices is unreasonable. I feel almost that I don't want my career to be a series of falling into positions and taking it from there, having a higher order structure or direction from the beginning would make me feel more confident in my future.
Thank you for reading this wall of text. I hope that someone out there can help keep me in line!
I'll preface this by saying that I can't identify any reason why the physician-scientist route isn't a good fit for me. I'd like to seek the advice of the wise among you as I begin to make tougher decisions on the direction I take my research. So far I have loved being a generalist, never closing doors, learning all that I can; however, I feel like without deciding to delve deeper with certain techniques I hazard being left in the dust by picking the wrong avenues.
Some stats/background:
Canadian Citizen
Junior, Neuroscience at McGill University in Montreal
cGPA: 3.95
MCAT 1 (Aug 2019): 516 (131/123/131/131) Lowest AAMC CARS was 127. Retaking Jan 2020.
Rich EC background with focus in mental health advocacy and empowering my peers to be engaged with science. Editor for school's Global Health Publication (potentially Editor-in-Chief in senior year)
60 hours physician shadowing, no primary care
100ish hours Psychiatric ED and ICU
10 hours soup kitchen
Research history:
1.5 years post-mortem lab (tissue handling and processing, microscopy, molecular biology). First lab experience, never got full ownership of a project but had side projects from my supervisor. She didn't like me very much despite my attentiveness, diligence, and professional demeanor.
Summer 2018 (after first year) performing an EMR review of ED presentations in a particular at-risk group. Published 2nd author in low-tier (? IF:3.0) journal. Should have pushed for first (it was earned). Presented poster 3x at local conferences.
Summer 2019 + current term in a mouse lab looking at adolescent neurodevelopment in response to synthetic cannabinoids, project is my own. A lot of behavioural work. Feel shafted because my PI said that I would have the opportunity to perform molecular work and stereology during my experiment, but withdrew due to funding. Presented poster at institutional conference. Will probably land middle author when the work is published, as its part of a multi-institute collaboration (and I'm just the undergrad :'().
On exchange at University College London for neuroscience from Jan2020 to hopefully Aug2020 where I may work with one of the only groups in the world running clinical trials on psychedelic assisted psychotherapy in treatment-resistant depression. Would get to learn neuroimaging too.
Summary: Research interest predominantly in aetiology and treatment of severe mental illness from an intersectional lens. I'm interested in utilizing my training in neuroscience to answer important questions in psychiatry. 1 2nd author paper, high-middle author in the works. 4x local/institutional posters (1st author).
My predicament/where you come in
I really do have a passion for research, I just often feel like I get unlucky with my PI's. It's very hard being the energetic undergrad brimming with ideas that are hushed because of poor support/funding. Doesn't help that I want to become an MD/PhD in a lab full of PhDs... I don't see myself pursuing a PhD not in neuroscience or biomedical engineering, and am hard-pressed to find my next labs that will help me advance towards my goals. I have found animal work incredibly time consuming. I currently do not possess the skills necessary to be succesful in big data or neuroimaging, but feel capable of learning (slowly!). I'm particularly interested in trying out iPSC/stem-cell research, but am not sure of its translation in the diseases I'm currently interested in. A whole other can of worms is that I've got vested interests in public health/healthcare optimization in psychiatry; through some of my connections, I might have the opportunity to work on identifying evidence-based treatments in prodromal-psychosis. The final point poses a very interesting clinical question, but not is not the research which will immediately poise me as a strong candidate for grad school...
I'm kind of a mess, really. I've got my foot and mind in a lot of things, which makes deciding what I'll work on during the next two years before I apply to MD/PhD programs particularly challenging. Do you have any strategies for remedying your a) interests b) skills c) deficits in your field? Struggling with these questions is honestly starting to get pesky as I need to be spending time on my classes. I believe I felt similarly before starting at my current lab, and perhaps this feeling of existential dread/the weight of my career hinging on these choices is unreasonable. I feel almost that I don't want my career to be a series of falling into positions and taking it from there, having a higher order structure or direction from the beginning would make me feel more confident in my future.
Thank you for reading this wall of text. I hope that someone out there can help keep me in line!
