serious problem with doctor's wife

Started by brianbellau
BU Medical Sciences
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brianbellau

brianbellau

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I'm shadowing a family doctor at his private practice regularly (he's also my doctor). His wife frequently visits his practice and brings their daughter around. And since I'm always there shadowing, I often converse with his wife (she also takes classes at my uni and is an aspiring pre-med). Frankly, I feel his wife is too young for him. But who am I to judge? Over the last few weeks she's been getting a little too close to me (touching my hand and having her arm around me, giving me hugs when I leave their practice when he's not around.) And this week at my uni, she'd been following me around to and from class all the way to my dorm room! She has an O-Chem test coming up and she'd like me to help her study for it, of course I said yes and she got all excited and THEN kissed me on the cheek. Did I make the wrong choice? How will the doc think of me and his wife studying together? Should I tell him she kissed me and possibly ruin any hope for a LoR? Maybe I should find a different doctor to shadow. 🙁

Please help, what should I do?

Edit: Just to be clear, it's the wife that's been following me around. Her daughter is 4 years old...
 
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brianbellau said:
I'm shadowing a family doctor at his private practice regularly (he's also my doctor). His wife frequently visits his practice and brings their daughter around. And since I'm always there shadowing, I often converse with her (she also takes classes at my uni and is an aspiring pre-med). Frankly, I feel his wife is too young for him. But who am I to judge? Over the last few weeks she's been getting a little too close to me (touching my hand and having her arm around me, giving me hugs when I leave their practice when he's not around.) And this week at my uni, she'd been following me around to and from class all the way to my dorm room! She has an O-Chem test coming up and she'd like me to help her study for it, of course I said yes and she got all excited and THEN kissed me on the cheek. Did I make the wrong choice? How will the doc think of me and his wife studying together? Should I tell him she kissed me and possibly ruin any hope for a LoR? Maybe I should find a different doctor to shadow. 🙁

Please help, what should I do?
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#1. Don't tell him.
#2. Study with her ONLY in the library
#3. Shadow less, ask for LoR now, but don't cut off communication with him entirely. Just fewer hours
#4. I'm sure this goes without saying but do NOT engage with her romantically.
 
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Keep shadowing the doctor. If the wife start hitting on you, just tell her you're not interested. Plus you're jumping to conclusions. Many women are just really affectionate with their behavior. Kiss on a cheek doesn't mean anything. Maybe she's awful at orgo and you could help her do better on her next exam.
 
Hmmm...I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Don't reciprocate.
Don't bring it up with him.
Women who behave this way are often prepared to turn around and tell their husbands that you assaulted her, if you call her out on her advances. She may be dangerous in that regard. Obviously that could cause trouble.
Don't make a fuss over it. Be cool and don't give her any indication that you are either interested in or opposed to what she is doing. Maybe she will get bored and back off without trying to seek vengeance.
Good luck, mate. You'll need it.
 
BANGO said:
my answer to this all depends on 1) how attractive is she? and 2) does she give a vibe that she also might be crazy? (often the prettier, the crazier)
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She is an attractive woman. Like I said, she looks a little too young for her husband (who is over 40). Maybe mid-twenties, I thought she was his daughter first time I saw her. 🙁
She doesn't seem crazy, just very excitable and spontaneous.

OneTwoThreeFour said:
#2. Study with her ONLY in the library
Click to expand...

I think this may be my best option. But still.. If I do study with her, that might piss the doc off. But if I say no, that might still piss the doc and her off.
 
tumblr_mltlu08DCU1r91mjso1_500.gif

Make it very clear that you're not interested. This could get very ugly, very fast.
 
brianbellau said:
She is an attractive woman. Like I said, she looks a little too young for her husband (who is over 40). Maybe mid-twenties, I thought she was his daughter first time I saw her. 🙁
She doesn't seem crazy, just very excitable and spontaneous.
I think this may be my best option. But still.. If I do study with her, that might piss the doc off. But if I say no, that might still piss the doc and her off.
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Well if she's in her mid-20s, then she's a gold digger. In which case I say go for it -- but only AFTER you have the LOR and med school acceptance in hand. If a mid-40s man is dumb enough to marry a mid-20s girl, he's got it coming to him. It's not like you're going to marry her or anything. You can consider her a reward for your hard work getting into med school, an entitlement of sorts. 🙂
 
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BANGO said:
Ok come on kid this is unrealistic...you only get one of them, the girl or the LOR? how bad you want it? If you go for the LOR you can write about all of this in your personal statement about how dedicated you were to the field. Attach facebook photo of doc's wife to make it compelling.
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No you get the LOR first, then apply, then get into med school, then sleep with her. Presto -- the best of both worlds. Who says you have to make sacrifices -- only some minor delayed gratification here. 😀 And -- let's be honest, OP would be that much more attractive after he gets into med school, right?
 
Patros said:
"Oh no, a married man's wife is trying to cheat with me...
... I wonder if this will affect my LOR."

Are you serious? And if not, how is anyone else taking this seriously.
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comeon, cut the OP some slack. you know this is the most interesting thing you've read on SDN in a while.... 😀
 
crimsonkid85 said:
comeon, cut the OP some slack. you know this is the most interesting thing you've read on SDN in a while.... 😀
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Entertaining yes, but I can only suspend disbelief for so long. First, there was that guy whose professors were feeling up on him. Now this guy who is being seduced by a doctor's wife.

I'll take things that never happened for $800, Alex.
 
Patros said:
Entertaining yes, but I can only suspend disbelief for so long. First, there was that guy whose professors were feeling up on him. Now this guy who is being seduced by a doctor's wife.

I'll take things that never happened for $800, Alex.
Click to expand...
Lol obviously you're right, but COME ON can't we play a little pretend here. 😛
 
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brianbellau said:
I'm shadowing a family doctor at his private practice regularly (he's also my doctor). His wife frequently visits his practice and brings their daughter around. And since I'm always there shadowing, I often converse with her (she also takes classes at my uni and is an aspiring pre-med).
Click to expand...

He's conversing w/ the daughter right??

brianbellau said:
Frankly, I feel his wife is too young for him. But who am I to judge? Over the last few weeks she's been getting a little too close to me (touching my hand and having her arm around me, giving me hugs when I leave their practice when he's not around.) And this week at my uni, she'd been following me around to and from class all the way to my dorm room!
Click to expand...
At this point, I'm thinking the wife is stalking him.

brianbellau said:
She has an O-Chem test coming up and she'd like me to help her study for it,
Click to expand...
Why would the wife have an ochem test? It's the daughter that's premed. :eyebrow::wtf:
:boom:
 
also does anyone else think it would be extra creepy because apparently the doctor is OP's physician too? doesn't that mean that the physician has seen him naked/knows all his medical history? yech.
 
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This thread ranks right up there with the guy that thought all of the female professors were either attracted to him or hated him (or maybe it was both?)!!!!!!
 
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