So what do I do if my fiance didn't match w/me?

[me454555]

My fiance and I didn't match together. We signed up for the couples match and put a the programs we had together first. Once that was done, we started ranking the programs we liked separately. Well I matched in Conneticut and she matched in Maryland. What are our options? How tough is it to trasfer programs? Who should be be talking to? Any advice and help is appreciated. This whole process sucks

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[CatsandCradles]

My fiance and I didn't match together. We signed up for the couples match and put a the programs we had together first. Once that was done, we started ranking the programs we liked separately. Well I matched in Conneticut and she matched in Maryland. What are our options? How tough is it to trasfer programs? Who should be be talking to? Any advice and help is appreciated. This whole process sucks

I really don't know what to say. But I am very curious to see what advice someone can help you with. And I hope things work out for you and your spouse somehow.

 

[faithnotsight]

What specialties? I think this depends on the specialty. I would say if you are talking about derm, rad onc, neurosurg, plastics, and anything else with a small number of spaces (and high retention) this may be hard. In addition, it depends on the program. Some programs are frontloaded and don't like to accept transfers from backloaded places.

My fiance and I didn't match together. We signed up for the couples match and put a the programs we had together first. Once that was done, we started ranking the programs we liked separately. Well I matched in Conneticut and she matched in Maryland. What are our options? How tough is it to trasfer programs? Who should be be talking to? Any advice and help is appreciated. This whole process sucks

 

[me454555]

What specialties? I think this depends on the specialty. I would say if you are talking about derm, rad onc, neurosurg, plastics, and anything else with a small number of spaces (and high retention) this may be hard. In addition, it depends on the program. Some programs are frontloaded and don't like to accept transfers from backloaded places.

Anesthesia and EM. At least there are a good # of positions

 

[Winged Scapula]

Second question...

are there any open positions in either of your specialties close to each other

Third question....

if there are, and there are multiple ones, who makes the move? You or her?

If there are open positions, you need to talk to the PDs there, explain the situation and see if they would consider one of you. Of course, you or your fiancee need also to talk to the program where you matched if you are going to be breaking your match contract.

Fourth question...

why did you rank separate programs if you knew this was a possibility and it would be a problem?

 

[NotAProgDirector]

why did you rank separate programs if you knew this was a possibility and it would be a problem?

This is going to be a problem for you. You ranked separate matches, and that's what you got. It's hard to argue for an exemption from the match because you knew this going into the match, and could have chosen differently.

If you do want an exemption from the match, it must come from the NRMP, not the programs involved. If you are considering this, you should contact the NRMP as soon as possible to give everyone the most time available to adjust.

Your best option (from my viewpoint) is to complete your PGY-1 years in separate programs, and then try to transfer as a PGY-2.

 

[yaah]

I kind of agree, you shouldn't have ranked things as options that aren't viable options for you. That makes your bargaining power a lot less, and you will need help and assistance from program directors, likely, to make a switch.

A lesson for the future for others, I guess, if scrambling for spots is a better option, then leave it as an option.

 

[Faebinder]

I learned my lesson.. it's easier to transfer after 1 year of anything that it is to try and get a PGY1 spot in the same place as your SO. So just try to transfer next year.

 

[Obedeli]

My fiance and I didn't match together. We signed up for the couples match and put a the programs we had together first. Once that was done, we started ranking the programs we liked separately. Well I matched in Conneticut and she matched in Maryland. What are our options? How tough is it to trasfer programs? Who should be be talking to? Any advice and help is appreciated. This whole process sucks

Put THE ring on her finger. I know you intend to. I am just saying this will give your request (when it comes) a little more weight. I have known several people who have been permanently engaged so it does not necessarily go without saying.

 

[me454555]

Fourth question...

why did you rank separate programs if you knew this was a possibility and it would be a problem?

We ranked separte programs b/c matching separtely was better than having to scramble. Even if we had to scramble theres still no guarantee we'd be able to scramble together. On top of that, if we had to scramble into a different field there's no guarentee we'd be happy and it might adversely affect our relationship. Like others have said, being able to complete a pgy-1 year will help us be more marketable and act as a bargaining chip.
This might be our best bet

 

[Winged Scapula]

We ranked separte programs b/c matching separtely was better than having to scramble. Even if we had to scramble theres still no guarantee we'd be able to scramble together. On top of that, if we had to scramble into a different field there's no guarentee we'd be happy and it might adversely affect our relationship. Like others have said, being able to complete a pgy-1 year will help us be more marketable and act as a bargaining chip.
This might be our best bet

Well, it was really a rhetorical question because I understand that matching would be preferable over both of you scrambling. What I really meant was that since the outcome was, in some ways, predictable, there should have been long discussions about his beforehand between you and your fiancee, with a plan for this outcome.

I agree with the others that your best bet is to suck it up, complete the first year apart, and one of you try and find a PGY2 position close to the other. Most PDs would be fairly understanding about the situation.

Best of luck..

 

[me454555]

What I really meant was that since the outcome was, in some ways, predictable, there should have been long discussions about his beforehand between you and your fiancee, with a plan for this outcome.

We had this conversation multiple times over the course of this last year, it just hurts so much more now that its real. By no means did this come as a shock to us, it still hurts though.

 

[orthoboyz]

hey everyone...I matched into psychiatry at a great program. Im' really happy with it, but my significant other (non-med), cant move here for personal reasons.

I didnt get my top choice...which would have allowed us to be together. what are options of switching in a field like psychiatry? is it done? is it frowned upon. are good options available?

i'm not sure what the retention is like in psychiatry, but does anyone know?
thanks

 

[AutomaTron]

Two words:

 

[Winged Scapula]

hey everyone...I matched into psychiatry at a great program. Im' really happy with it, but my significant other (non-med), cant move here for personal reasons.

I didnt get my top choice...which would have allowed us to be together. what are options of switching in a field like psychiatry? is it done? is it frowned upon. are good options available?

i'm not sure what the retention is like in psychiatry, but does anyone know?
thanks

Curious disharmony between your SDN name and your choice of specialty.

Psychiatry, like any other field, has some attrition, although I can't say what it is. I'm sure it is posted/published somewhere.

In regards to switching, it depends on whether a program has an open position (obviously). You have a good reason to prefer to be elsewhere, although programs are traditionally "kinder" to couples who are married. Switching is frowned upon because it puts your program in a bind - down one resident when you leave and having to find someone to fill your spot, but it is done. The situation usually has the best result when you are honest with your PD and explain the situation early. You will need an LOR stating that you are currently in good standing in your program, so don't let that request come as a suprise to him/her.

 

[orthoboyz]

so, you think a heads up to my pd is warranted...."this is my situation...its aconcern, and i dont know what to do about it...any thoughts? "

im interested in knowing my options..

i cant be kicked out for sharing that concern can I?
any idea where i can find out attrition rate for psychiatry programs...especially before the pgy2 year
thanks

 

[Winged Scapula]

so, you think a heads up to my pd is warranted...."this is my situation...its aconcern, and i dont know what to do about it...any thoughts? "

im interested in knowing my options..

i cant be kicked out for sharing that concern can I?
any idea where i can find out attrition rate for psychiatry programs...especially before the pgy2 year
thanks

I wouldn't give him THAT much of a heads up! Frankly, since you knew your SO couldn't move to the location where you matched, you've "made your own bed" so now "have to lie in it", so I doubt they would be necessarily sympathetic to your plight at this point in time.

Rather I would make what looks like a change in situation, ie, the SO can't move NOW (perhaps she could before), and if and when you either find a PGY2 position or decide to go back through the match (if there are PGY2 positions or you decide to repeat intern year to be with your SO), THEN I would speak with the PD. Don't do it right away...but don't wait until you are having to sneak around, getting interviews and definitely not so late that they can't find someone in the match, should they decide to list your position.

Technically they can't fire you for this - you haven't violated the match, but if you aren't honest with them about your desire to leave, then they can make life for you unpleasant. Varies from program to program how much they can and do do that.

As for attrition rates, I couldn't find anything in my short Google search but it was admittedly short because the wireless connection was dodgy. Surgery and Ob-Gyn usually have the highest - around 20%.

 

[3dtp]

It looks like travel is in your future.
Go hang out at the local airport and see if anyone is going to MD in the general aviation section and they'll let you ride in an empty seat. Check out the Cessna Pilot Centers and flight schools.


And you are absolutely correct. The process sucks for you, not the programs.