Social Anxiety and awkwardness making MS3 a nightmare?

[XxSynapsexX]

I am half way through my surgery rotation and I am struggling like hell. I am the student who is usually quiet, and fumbles with instruments. My nervousness for the next day makes it impossible for me to study or sleep at a decent time and I end up looking even dumber. I constantly drink alcohol almost every night just to make these feelings go away. I am OKAY at communicating, I just tend to be very monotone and kind of dry, and I just get really quiet and stutter my words in group settings.


How can I improve my situation? I am not looking to become Mr.Social butterfly gunner here, I just am trying to figure out how to get my words in and not stand out so much for being quiet because I know my Evaluations depend on it.

And before anyone says " Maybe you should not be in medicine", I love medicine and think in the future once I am an attending or even a resident and have some sort of control of my life, I will do just fine. The problem is when I am in these stressful situations and my anxiety gets 100X worse and just makes me want to quit.

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[sliceofbread136]

Sounds like you should see a counselor or psychiatrist man. No shame in it

 

[operaman]

Agree with above, please seek out help. Your school should have confidential counseling and mental health services available to you. Please talk to someone asap and start getting help. This is all fixable and you will do just fine in medicine, but that depends on you reaching out for some face to face help.

Come back after you've done this and if you're still struggling with how to present yourself on rotations, we can offer some advice to help you. At this point, I'm hesitant to offer any clinical/academic advice until you've addressed the underlying issues.

 

[ihazquestionz]

I am half way through my surgery rotation and I am struggling like hell. I am the student who is usually quiet, and fumbles with instruments. My nervousness for the next day makes it impossible for me to study or sleep at a decent time and I end up looking even dumber. I constantly drink alcohol almost every night just to make these feelings go away. I am OKAY at communicating, I just tend to be very monotone and kind of dry, and I just get really quiet and stutter my words in group settings.


How can I improve my situation? I am not looking to become Mr.Social butterfly gunner here, I just am trying to figure out how to get my words in and not stand out so much for being quiet because I know my Evaluations depend on it.

And before anyone says " Maybe you should not be in medicine", I love medicine and think in the future once I am an attending or even a resident and have some sort of control of my life, I will do just fine. The problem is when I am in these stressful situations and my anxiety gets 100X worse and just makes me want to quit.

Anyone who tells you that you should not be in medicine is full of crap and you should never listen to them. My biology teacher in middle school told me that maybe academics weren't really my thing and biology definitely was not and I should pursue other careers like social work or mechanical work. Not that these aren't amazing fields but he knew I was interested in medicine. As a straight A student I didn't understand where this was coming from-he put 90 other students on a "best students in biology" list and left me out. Fast forward 1 year I topped my 8th grade "graduation" was valedictorian in hs, and authored a ton of papers in college, etc etc. whatever, my story doesn't matter. The point is people who discourage you in any way do not matter. There are far too many important advances that need to be made in this world for that crap.

Stop drinking. See a therapist. This will help you develop skills to do better in these situations and they might be able to offer you medication as a supplement if they determine that it will help you.

DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR SLEEP. I did this on my surgery rotation. I regret doing this on my surgery rotation because it made me quieter than I normally am and internalize everything. It also made me depressed. It made me feel stupid and like everyone hated me. It made me overanalyze everything. Once I started being more disciplined, all of this went away. Have regular study hours at the beginning of each day. These were my most reliable hours. I went to bed as soon as I got home and studied from 2-4 am every morning. PRACTICE SAYING THINGS OUT LOUD, even if it's just to yourself. Preparation is key for everything in life.

You got this. Have faith in yourself. You have the ability, now give yourself the opportunity to succeed.

 

[Smurfette]

You will have times of struggle at all points in your career.

Every med student fumbles with instruments. And every student trembles a bit too when put on the spot to open or close an instrument. It's normal. You aren't being judged by this, really.

Being quiet is not an issue except in your mind. I basically was a "don't talk unless spoken to" type throughout med school and residency. I just put my energy to getting stuff done. As an attending, I'm actually fairly outgoing now that I have gotten comfortable with my surroundings and have no one to answer to. However, to compensate for being quiet, when you do speak, you need to demonstrate your competence and show you are paying attention. This doesn't necessitate being right, but rather showing that you are studying and keeping up with your peers. And, of course, performing the tasks you were assigned.

If you are using alcohol to help with your anxiety, this is a path to more problems and dependence. It can affect your retention from studying and affect your ability to get quality sleep. If your anxiety is debilitating you to the point of abusing alcohol, you need to see someone to help you work through it. Not only will it help you professionally, but personally as well.

 

[XxSynapsexX]

Thanks guys really appreciate the advice, you are all very right, I cant just sulk in my problems, there are 2-3 key steps I can take to make my life much better. I guess I am always negligent of that because I have been quiet all my life so I just assumed everything happening to me is due to an unfixable personality problem. That may be partly true but its time I quiet the alcohol, get some damn sleep, and go see a therapist. I will fill you all in to let you know how I am doing.

Once again thanks, I really needed this

 

[Bacchus]

Sleep. Exercise. Counseling.

 

[futuremdforme]

Sleep. Exercise. Counseling.

And quit the booze. It's not helping.

 

[Redpancreas]

I am half way through my surgery rotation and I am struggling like hell. I am the student who is usually quiet, and fumbles with instruments. My nervousness for the next day makes it impossible for me to study or sleep at a decent time and I end up looking even dumber. I constantly drink alcohol almost every night just to make these feelings go away. I am OKAY at communicating, I just tend to be very monotone and kind of dry, and I just get really quiet and stutter my words in group settings.


How can I improve my situation? I am not looking to become Mr.Social butterfly gunner here, I just am trying to figure out how to get my words in and not stand out so much for being quiet because I know my Evaluations depend on it.

And before anyone says " Maybe you should not be in medicine", I love medicine and think in the future once I am an attending or even a resident and have some sort of control of my life, I will do just fine. The problem is when I am in these stressful situations and my anxiety gets 100X worse and just makes me want to quit.

First and foremost, alcohol to sleep is a huge red flag and I would say that nothing will change until that's fixed. In terms of the rest, exercise helps ALOT. Sleep does as well. A lot of what separates the "social butterfly gunner" from the "quiet introvert" is energy and response time which are both probably directly tied to regeneration of your neurotransmitters. Objective measures of knowledge will be tested by the exam. Humans judge based on our flawed perceptions, that will never change.

 

[Freeinfinity]

I understand your feelings very well. The surgery rotation for me was also the toughest core rotation that I had as a 3rd year student. First off, it is very physically demanding as you're in the OR practically all day every day with practically no time to study for your SHELF exam. You barely have any time to sleep. But the most difficult part about it was that the surgical specialty tends to attract a lot of strong personalities. It's hard for an introverted person to thrive in such an environment where you're expected to anticipate everything with little guidance. You have questions but most of the time when you ask something the response is usually "look it up yourself and get back to me" or "you should already know the answer to this". As a result, you can easily be on edge all the time because you're no longer sure what you're doing is right or not. That unfortunately tends to be the overall culture of the OR at many places and won't change anytime soon. You're not alone in this at all. Don't take it personally. The worst thing you can do is lose confidence. The end goal is clinical competence but how can you achieve that when your motivational spirit is broken from these experiences? Let the rotation light a fire under you to push yourself to improve (but don't push yourself too much). You already know your weakness. Let your evaluators know that you're aware of them and that you're actively attempting to fix them. It couldn't hurt to also ask them what you can do better. Improvement always look favorable even in the eyes of the toughest attending. Show that! Learn from this experience and never forget it.

 

[gapyearguppy]

I am very outgoing, but I have a stutter (it's not terrible, but it's increased when I'm nervous, and honestly who's not nervous in the beginning of 3rd year) and it's making 3rd year slightly more difficult because now I have to talk to people all day and get pimped which all increases my social anxiety. But you get through, and you realize that everyone is dealing with their own **** too much to notice yours. Some days I'm super fluent and some days I have more blocks and find it harder to talk, so I totally feel you.