Soul searching

[stitchxlover]

Hey everyone,

New to the forum here. 27 years old junior getting my bachelors in Bio. Had a bunch of life twists and turns and couldn't finish my degree when I was younger. I didn't do well in a couple of my earlier classes due to certain circumstances but have retaken them and gotten As but still worry about my Science GPA, my cumulative is really high. Will be graduating with my BS in bio when I'm 28. Plan on going to medical school will need to take a gap year regardless due to a program I am applying to that if accepted, you have to take one anyway. Have not taken the MCAT yet but am studying for it.

I just don't know if I want to do it anymore. I have a very supportive family and my fiance always encourages me but I feel so old. Everyone around me is 20-25 and I feel like I will be a grandma in medical school. I was thinking of being an NP instead but that means 2 years to finish my BS, 2 years for a ABSN program and 2 years for the NP total of 6 years so that makes no sense to me because Its almost the same as medical school. I just don't know what to do anymore.

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[Tipsy McStagger]

Well if you don’t want to do it because it’s not what you want anymore that’s totally understandable. It’s a hard job, lots of responsibility and stress. Lots of time away from friends and family. That’s a reasonable concern to steer clear of medicine.

If it’s only your age that’s bothering you then I’d stop worrying about it. You’re going to start med school at 29 or 30 and you feel like a grandma? That’s silly.

I started at 30, and I was far from the oldest in my class. The question you need to ask is not how old is too old? You are light years away from that being relevant. The only question is whether or not medicine is what you want to do. And even that is a tough question as you never really understand what’s involved emotionally until you’re a resident (and as a resident you don’t know what your day-to-day will truly be like until you’re an attending). But if you think it’s what you want then don’t, by any means, let your age stand in your way. Because you’re still young!

 

[Goro]

Hey everyone,

New to the forum here. 27 years old junior getting my bachelors in Bio. Had a bunch of life twists and turns and couldn't finish my degree when I was younger. I didn't do well in a couple of my earlier classes due to certain circumstances but have retaken them and gotten As but still worry about my Science GPA, my cumulative is really high. Will be graduating with my BS in bio when I'm 28. Plan on going to medical school will need to take a gap year regardless due to a program I am applying to that if accepted, you have to take one anyway. Have not taken the MCAT yet but am studying for it.

I just don't know if I want to do it anymore. I have a very supportive family and my fiance always encourages me but I feel so old. Everyone around me is 20-25 and I feel like I will be a grandma in medical school. I was thinking of being an NP instead but that means 2 years to finish my BS, 2 years for a ABSN program and 2 years for the NP total of 6 years so that makes no sense to me because Its almost the same as medical school. I just don't know what to do anymore.

It's OK to find a different path, and it's not a sign of failure or weakness, but of maturity.

 

[holdthemayo]

I'll echo what the others have said above. You don't need to worry about being too old. I was 33 when I started and not the oldest in my class. I have a good circle of friends and don't have any problem keeping up. Age alone isn't something you need to worry about. You won't be a grandma.

If you don't want to do this anymore, then there is no shame in that. It's a long road and the sacrifices are real. I'm happy with my choice so far, my non-trad classmates are too.

If you do decide to change course, I agree that an NP program isn't saving you much time. Maybe PA school?

Good luck figuring things out.

 

[Mike Bagwell]

If you're not 100% fired up for medicine, just don't do it. Go do something else. Medicine is about commitment.

Here's something I learned though. Sometimes you want to give up on stuff because the timing is just not right but then out of nowhere your circumstances change and you get some newfound energy to do what you thought you initially couldn't do.

As far as age, you're not old or anywhere near an age where pursuing medicine would no longer be worth it.

Just keep in mind the process is super competitive and if you don't have the numbers, you really can't advance to round 2.

 

[star.buck]

A couple things, we'll address the age-thing last.

First, there's nothing wrong with you, you aren't weak, you don't lack the endurance or commitment, it's not that you don't have the grit to be a doctor. What matters is if being a doctor in rooted your heart - because it is a long road, and it can be very difficult. If your heart doesn't sing for medicine, that just means that maybe this isn't the path for you - it doesn't mean you are lacking anything.

Second, undergrad is a grind. It's classes full of things you will ever wonder how they matter, and to whom they matter. It's full of memorzing chemical formulas and physics equations - it's hard to maintain the focus on the prize when you're buried under so much "other" stuff. You can find that focus by tapping into your "why"... Why did you initially want to chase medicine, why did you want to be a doctor before all this started, what inspired you, and what made you take those first steps? If that fires that candle back up, then think about the days in the future with the patients, the lives you'll make better, and the lives you'll try over and over and over again to make better - and won't give up on because you're more stubborn than they are. If there's nothing there... there are many other career options that will support you, without putting your through the wringer.

Third, the MCAT is soul crusher #1 of 3. It's a mind game that will wring you out like a wet towel. It's a massive weeding-out exam. Think of it as a marathon that you have to train for and survive. Many people don't reach the end of that marathon - and in a way that's exactly what it's designed to do. You might be stuck in the MCAT trap, it almost got me (I'm currently an MS3). You can get out by reading the previous paragraph - or finding your own ways to loosen the snares. (#2 is Step 1, #3 is Step 2... dont worry about those right now). And... if it taps you out, that's OK. Your bio degree is useful for MANY other options as well!

Last, age is all about how you feel. I started med school when I was in my early-mid 30's. I wasn't the oldest, but I was fondly called "mom" by many of my classmates that are a decade older than me. My life experiences have helped a great deal, especially in my interactions with physicians and patients.

Rule number one in life: Never compare yourself to others. This includes age. Who cares how old they are, who cares how old you are. It's just a number, especially at your age, don't get hung up on it or it will paralyze you. The story might be different if you were 80 years old... but you're not.

Rule number two in life: find your fire, and protect it. Life will want to snuff it out at every turn - if you guard it... nothing can stop you.

I wish you the very best!

 

[ClimbsRox]

I am 27 and about to start an MD-PhD. If I am lucky I will start residency at 35. The time commitment is terrifying at times. However, I ask myself, if I were 40 right now, what would I be glad I had done? If medicine isn't right for you, its not right for you and theres no shame in that, but don't let burnout and fear of being "too old" stop you.

 

[kbRD2MD84]

I am 27 and about to start an MD-PhD. If I am lucky I will start residency at 35. The time commitment is terrifying at times. However, I ask myself, if I were 40 right now, what would I be glad I had done? If medicine isn't right for you, its not right for you and theres no shame in that, but don't let burnout and fear of being "too old" stop you.

This. If I get an acceptance my first time around (please gawddd) I'll finish med school just shy of 40. Last year I did a dietetic internship with a bunch of 22-year-olds and they all thought I was their age until I told them otherwise (I was 32/33). If your gut is telling you that you're not 100% on board with this med school thing, don't do it. Mine had been telling me that all the way through my last career change, and here I am less than a year after passing boards... going after what I really wanted in the first place.

 

[shaosoldier]

It all boils down to how you want to live your life. Being 28 we can assume that you'll get in at around 29 after that gap year. You'll roughly finish residency (3 year one) when you're about 35-36 years old. I've had friends who started medical school around your age as well too and they've succeeded without issue. I wouldn't worry about the 21-25 entry age of the other students, grinding is grinding when it comes down to it, they may have simpler lives though.

Things to weight would be the stress of medical school. This will put a strain on your family and social life but there are far worse things out there that can cause worse strain as well. You will take a financial hit but you'll make up for it in multiples once you start working. The fact that medical school is such an endurance yet anaerobic mental game will take a toll on your health too, but if you're up for it, you can think of it as if you're a professional mental athlete.

Best of luck man.

 

[Crayola227]

The biggest issue I've found for women going into medicine, is often they put off childbearing into their 30s. Many actually do have issues beginning even in the early 30s.

So many put it off taking it for granted. We are designed to have kids in our 20s, that's just biological fact. It wasn't until my med school lecture that I learned fertility rate for women is almost 99% before 30, yet as soon as you look at women after 30 it drops to 75%. That means that 1 out of 4 women after that age will have some issues. As far as what, consider that infertility is defined as after 1 year of doing what maximizes chances for conception (basically sex that is frequent enough) one still hasn't conceived. Some portion of couples it just takes longer. And keep in mind there is a great range of what will be needed to treat infertility at that point, it's not all expensive IVF, it could just be IUI (intrauterine insemination) or other things like that. Also that part of what affects those numbers is what proportion of women had a silent STI that led to scarring of the tubes. PID is the top cause of infertility in otherwise healthy women.

The best thing you can do is guard against STIs, knowing they can be silent.

People are also surprised to find out that pregnancy at 35, you're already considered AMA (advanced maternal age). It is so defined because the rate at which complications goes up.

This is really the thing I think for women in medicine, is what effect a career in medicine affects your family planning.

I know so many women who went in and thought they'd just start in the mid 30s, only to have a whole series of issues. It's not as uncommon as some might lead you to think.

 

[pastrynerd]

I don't think many are taking it for granted, speaking from personal experience and people I know who waited to get married and have kids after 30. You can't blame it on the women because it takes two to tango. It's the men that have control and they're not interested in procreating in their 20s and even 30s. Times have changed. It seems that not many are eager to sign up for that kind of responsibility. And why should they, when they have tinder and free porn? I know many women in their 30s and 40s who didn't have any problems getting pregnant, but then again, they were never promiscuous or had any STIs. Women are at a disadvantage, compared to men, when it comes to STIs. They can get them more easily, they might not have any symptoms or might not see them due to their anatomy, they can confuse symptoms with other less serious problems, and have more serious, silent health complications that can lead to infertility and many types of reproductive system cancers (cervical, endometrial, fallopian tube, ovarian, vaginal, and vulvar).