Spouse feeling inadequate

[fancymylotus]

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my wife and I have been together broke for years, so we're past that mess................buuuuuuut if I was in med school and just meeting someone for the first time? they'd hear about that prenup long before thinking they had a chance at a ring

my parents are gonna make me get one. errrr..make me give him one. whatever

 

[fancymylotus]

Don't bother trying to defend feminism. If some guys wanna whine that "feminism" isn't suiting their way of life, they can get the hell on and go find some little baking chick who wants to work hard outside and come take care of the kids at night and always defer to his way of doing things. Any sensible guy is innately into equality and against female objectification. No need to bother preaching.

Anasto. You made my day with that law. Srsly.

 

[Anastomoses]

Agreed. But unfortunately, you don't see women fighting for equal rights in alimony, for child guardianship, both which are heavily favored towards women right now. And I think that's where you get the anti-feminist men as above - because the fight everyone else sees is not a struggle for equal rights, it's a fight to get women more rights.



Prenups will often not stand when everything shakes out. Signed under duress, one partner didnt have a separate lawyer, didn't fully understand what they were signing.

First off, alimony is already equal. There are plenty of cases in which the breadwinner was female and had to give a huge chunk of her assets to her partner. So what are you on about?

Personally my only interest in feminism is stopping the sexual objectification of women and maintaining the autonomy of birthing rights for women. I have a lot of faith in my ability to secure an equal earning, to manage my own household, etc etc. But I guess this is what people complain about as "upper class feminism".

 

[touchpause13]

Agreed. But unfortunately, you don't see women fighting for equal rights in alimony, for child guardianship, both which are heavily favored towards women right now. And I think that's where you get the anti-feminist men as above - because the fight everyone else sees is not a struggle for equal rights, it's a fight to get women more rights.

I'm sorry, but if you don't see feminists fighting against alimony, for male victims of sexual violence, for fathers who get screwed over by the justice system you just aren't looking. All of those problems are exacerbated by a sexist society, so instead of blaming feminists why don't we work together to help create a better society for everyone.

http://jezebel.com/hey-dudes-whaddya-say-we-wrap-up-this-sexism-thing-tog-510704310

 

[sylvanthus]

First off, alimony is already equal. There are plenty of cases in which the breadwinner was female and had to give a huge chunk of her assets to her partner. So what are you on about?

Personally my only interest in feminism is stopping the sexual objectification of women and maintaining the autonomy of birthing rights for women. I have a lot of faith in my ability to secure an equal earning, to manage my own household, etc etc. But I guess this is what people complain about as "upper class feminism".

Tell me you are not serious.

 

[Mad Jack]

Yeah, hate to be a downer, but to add to the negativity as my career started advancing my fiance lost her job and had to take an entry level position and feeling lost/depressed. Ended up catching her in a 8 month affair... If I could go back I guess I would have tried to have been more supportive, but honestly I'm not sure it would have been enough because the funk was on her.

SDN needs a Feels button. You know, for those posts you want to add a "man that's awful, I'm sorry" to without drawing too much attention away from the original post of the thread.

It's a terrible and sad thing when people let their careers and define their identity. If and when the money or the job is gone, they tend to sort of lose it and often become self loathing and reckless. Sorry about what happened to you, hopefully OP can at least learn from your misfortune.

+1 Feels

 

[mmmcdowe]

It is what it is, this isn't a recent event. Better now than alimony.

SDN needs a Feels button. You know, for those posts you want to add a "man that's awful, I'm sorry" to without drawing too much attention away from the original post of the thread.

It's a terrible and sad thing when people let their careers and define their identity. If and when the money or the job is gone, they tend to sort of lose it and often become self loathing and reckless. Sorry about what happened to you, hopefully OP can at least learn from your misfortune.

+1 Feels

 

[Anastomoses]

Tell me you are not serious.

Not long ago, after giving a talk about the growing number of women who are breadwinners in their marriages, I was approached by an audience member who identified herself as a lawyer.

She said that she was definitely seeing this trend in her practice — nearly 40% of working wives now outearn their husbands — and that while economic power is a good thing, overall, for women, it can have one negative outcome many don’t anticipate. Among her divorce clients, she said,more and more were women who found themselves ordered by a court to pay spousal support to ex-husbands. “And boy,” she said, “are they pissed.”

That's Time Magazine.

http://ideas.time.com/2013/05/16/the-de-gendering-of-divorce-wives-pay-ex-husbands-alimony-too/

 

[evilbooyaa]

I'm sorry, but if you don't see feminists fighting against alimony, for male victims of sexual violence, for fathers who get screwed over by the justice system you just aren't looking. All of those problems are exacerbated by a sexist society, so instead of blaming feminists why don't we work together to help create a better society for everyone.

http://jezebel.com/hey-dudes-whaddya-say-we-wrap-up-this-sexism-thing-tog-510704310

Oh c'mon. I respect the hell out of women (and would fully expect a full time female physician in field in my locale to earn the same as me), but the statistic about them getting paid less "just cause" has been disproven multiple times over. Sorry, I just can't stand that "fact" continually being thrown out by feminists, especially the 60% of a man's pay or whatever.

And alimony is equal? Are you guys serious?

 

[sylvanthus]

Not long ago, after giving a talk about the growing number of women who are breadwinners in their marriages, I was approached by an audience member who identified herself as a lawyer.

She said that she was definitely seeing this trend in her practice — nearly 40% of working wives now outearn their husbands — and that while economic power is a good thing, overall, for women, it can have one negative outcome many don’t anticipate. Among her divorce clients, she said,more and more were women who found themselves ordered by a court to pay spousal support to ex-husbands. “And boy,” she said, “are they pissed.”

That's Time Magazine.

http://ideas.time.com/2013/05/16/the-de-gendering-of-divorce-wives-pay-ex-husbands-alimony-too/

Where does the bold above say anything whatsoever about the alimony paid out?

Show me where in that article it states that alimony is "equal" with supporting statistics.

 

[Apoplexy__]

Great inputs from everyone, thanks. I especially appreciate the anecdotes and personal experiences, since that's more of what I was looking to hear. Dumping her isn't going to happen. I'm being objective when I say that my posts here case a misrepresentingly negative light on her. If it makes people feel better, I've already talked with her about signing a pre-nup hahaha.
-Anasto, that's great advice about the finances. I especially like the "Muslim" variant you proposed, since one could really experience a lot of freedom with, say, $20k/yr of discretionary funds.
-Touchpause, you made some great points about fanning the flames of whatever she's possibly interested in. She needs to feel like she can do something of value. She always says that I'm "better than her at everything", so maybe the ideal thing would be something less like a skill and more like a hobby or creative outlet like you're saying.
-Priapism, if she was doing well in school, I think this issue would be 80-90% resolved. Thanks for the encouragement about making it work.

I don't think the problem is just that she doesn't have a career or any interests; the main issue is that she doesn't seem to be capable of appreciating your efforts and being a faithful cheerleader, even. Tell her to get it together already.

I'm sure I made it seem that way, but this is actually the opposite of the truth. She's incredibly appreciative of my efforts, and my #1 cheerleader, but she just gets upset that she has to rely on me due to her own shortcomings.

As with everything, most feminists exist in a grey area. I don't like policing specific words like actress or stewardess. That's dumb. My personal causes are more focused on rape prevention/helping survivors of sexual/domestic violence as well as LGBTQ rights.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have used the word "feminist" at all. Definitely overbilled what her actual views/tendencies are. She's more like this, not at all feminist in the "oppressive male regime" tirade sense. She has absolutely no academic feminist knowledge, and would never be THAT kind of feminist.

 

[Anastomoses]

I'm sure I made it seem that way, but this is actually the opposite of the truth. She's incredibly appreciative of my efforts, and my #1 cheerleader, but she just gets upset that she has to rely on me due to her own shortcomings.

In that case let her know that her support and adoration is all you need; you don't need her to outdo you or to be a physicist. She's lucky.

Where does the bold above say anything whatsoever about the alimony paid out?

Show me where in that article it states that alimony is "equal" with supporting statistics.

Oh, I see. Well, that's like asking judges to sentence white and black men to an equal degree. Or that more handsome criminals shouldn't get lighter sentences. The law is equal for both.

 

[Anastomoses]

Where does the bold above say anything whatsoever about the alimony paid out?

Show me where in that article it states that alimony is "equal" with supporting statistics.

Here are some examples for your satisfaction:

``Women seem more offended by the concept of the prenup,`` he said. ``When they say `I do,` they`re more likely to think it`s going to be forever.``

Women with lucrative, high-profile careers are discovering that courts are quite willing to award alimony -- often in sizable sums -- to husbands not financially well off.

Joan Lunden, who earns $2 million a year as co-host of Good Morning America, last summer was ordered by a New York judge to pay ex-husband Michael Krauss $18,000 a month in temporary alimony. The judge also assigned all responsibility for the couple`s mortgage, taxes and other expenses -- about $8,000 a month -- to Lunden.

Fashion designer Mary McFadden was ordered to pay Kohle Yohannan, 30 years her junior, $2,400 a month in temporary support (he had sought $7,651), plus college tuition, rent, legal fees and a substantial portion of her multimillion-dollar business.

When the divorce was finalized in June 1991, the alimony was reduced to $600 a month, and McFadden agreed to give Yohannan a $100,000 lump-sum settlement.

Last summer actress Linda Lavin, then 54, ended an alimony battle with actor Clifford Niven, then 47, paying Niven $675,000. Niven reportedly sought $5 million of the $11 million Lavin earned during their nine-year marriage, plus $13,500 a month support for his two children from his previous marriage.

Jane Seymour last year was ordered to pay husband David Flynn $10,000 in monthly alimony through 1994 (Flynn had sought $20,000) and to surrender half the value of the $5 million oceanfront house they shared in Santa Barbara, Calif. Kim Basinger settled with makeup artist Ron Britton by giving him the couple`s $700,000 house and more than $64,000 in support. Jane Fonda forked over $10 million to Tom Hayden.

Roseanne Arnold, in a secret divorce settlement, agreed to support former husband William Pentland for 10 years, according to sources familiar with the deal. ``He should be paying me half of the moneyhe makes,`` she said, ``except what am I going to do with an extra 40 bucks a week?``

 

[fancymylotus]

I'm sure I made it seem that way, but this is actually the opposite of the truth. She's incredibly appreciative of my efforts, and my #1 cheerleader, but she just gets upset that she has to rely on me due to her own shortcomings.

Cheerleader or not, for her to be stressing you out even indirectly is not cool. Youre in school still right? Youre only going to get more busy and stressed with your own stuff, before things start to settle down. And in the midst of all of this youre supposed to coddle her BS and propose and try to plan a wedding? Yeah, no.

Sorry if I sound harsh. I just dont deal with this kind of stuff well. And I'm a [mean] New York girl.

 

[fancymylotus]

Also, her inferiority complex is her responsibility to deal with. Theres only so much you can do. Get her some therapy sessions as your next birthday/anniversary present to her, or something.

 

[Wordead]

I'm sorry, but if you don't see feminists fighting against alimony, for male victims of sexual violence, for fathers who get screwed over by the justice system you just aren't looking. All of those problems are exacerbated by a sexist society, so instead of blaming feminists why don't we work together to help create a better society for everyone.

http://jezebel.com/hey-dudes-whaddya-say-we-wrap-up-this-sexism-thing-tog-510704310

Ill confess I dont go out of my way to look for them; you'll have to admit they are not high profile.

What womens organizations are fighting for those you talked about? Aka not blogs.

 

[Davida]

Ill confess I dont go out of my way to look for them; you'll have to admit they are not high profile.

What womens organizations are fighting for those you talked about? Aka not blogs.

http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/male-sexual-assault
http://www.dahmw.org/ (in their info, they talk about collaboration with women's shelters to protect male victims of sexual assault)
http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/statistics/ (discusses both men and women)
http://www.ncadv.org/learn/Statistics_115.html (there's an article that talks about male issues towards the bottom of the page)

Guess they're not necessarily "women's organizations," but they are organizations that work with what have traditionally been considered women's issues, and they are organizations that feminists tend to support. I know of these orgs off the top of my head from my experience working with these issues - I'm afraid to google "feminist" and "alimony" because I don't want to see some of the more vile results.

 

[Priapism4tooLong]

Also, her inferiority complex is her responsibility to deal with. Theres only so much you can do. Get her some therapy sessions as your next birthday/anniversary present to her, or something.

Who better to comment on an inferiority complex than a DENTIST!!

 

[touchpause13]

Ill confess I dont go out of my way to look for them; you'll have to admit they are not high profile.

What womens organizations are fighting for those you talked about? Aka not blogs.

The thing with feminism is that it's very splintered. There isn't a big organizing body of feminism, there are just too many schools of thought for that to work. The closest I can think of is academic feminism, but that presents the same issue. There is not one feminist theory, there are hundreds.

There are, however, many feminist groups whose focus is on masculinity.

 

[dieanotherday]

if she feels powerless because you have money and she doesnt, and she wants to spend more, than isn't money what she's passionate about?
why can't she go into business, get an internship at a bank as a start (paid internships of course)
or study anything that will give her a good paycheck later?

 

[Psai]

Who better to comment on an inferiority complex than a DENTIST!!

It doesn't work when you post the gif yourself. Also when the dig wasn't any good.

 

[Priapism4tooLong]

It doesn't work when you post the gif yourself. Also when the dig wasn't any good.

You are mean

 

[redpanda]

Feminism alone can make a marriage difficult, but when there are already issues of a lady feeling inadequate compared to her male significant other, those feelings don't magically disperse. And a chick who identifies herself as a feminist makes that situation much worse for obvious reasons.

Oh, it hurts us precious, so much. Just so you realize, male feelings of inadequacy when their female partner/wife is the higher earning partner make a relationship pretty crappy too and makes said individual, in my opinion, less husband-able, yet it seems that this is the acceptable state of being while women being unsatisfied is just selfish feminism. ::

 

[mulberry]

Don't worry about my family. Worry about your education. Don't waste my time with two posts "doubting" something you could look up on google in 5 minutes tops.

Don't be defensive. I know what the "law" states and no one follows it anymore. You're taking it to the extreme with your definition.

Do you believe everything your parents tell you? Do you believe everything you read on the internet?

 

[Anastomoses]

Don't be defensive. I know what the "law" states and no one follows it anymore. You're taking it to the extreme with your definition.

Do you believe everything your parents tell you? Do you believe everything you read on the internet?

My parents are pretty sharp, but I'm still clueless as to what my parents have to do with this entire topic. My parents aren't even the ones who first informed me of these rules. Have you even been to a Muslim country? Attended any Muslim weddings? I don't know what sect of Islam you're familiar with but plenty of people follow it.

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=168457

This is standard:

No Financial Responsibility:
A woman in Islam does not shoulder any financial obligations; it is the man who shoulders this responsibility in the family. It is the duty of the father or the brother, before she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial aspects, and it becomes the duty of her husband or her son, after she is married.
If a Woman works, which she is not forced to – all earnings she makes are absolutely her property. She is not obliged to spend from it on the household, unless she wants to do so with her free will. Irrespective how rich the wife is, the duty to give lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife remains that of the husband.

No Muslim I have met would ever say this is incorrect; what they'll say to go around it is "it's the woman's option to contribute so she can".

 

[fancymylotus]

My parents are pretty sharp, but I'm still clueless as to what my parents have to do with this entire topic. My parents aren't even the ones who first informed me of these rules. Have you even been to a Muslim country? Attended any Muslim weddings? I don't know what sect of Islam you're familiar with but plenty of people follow it.

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=articles&id=168457

This is standard:

No Financial Responsibility:
A woman in Islam does not shoulder any financial obligations; it is the man who shoulders this responsibility in the family. It is the duty of the father or the brother, before she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial aspects, and it becomes the duty of her husband or her son, after she is married.
If a Woman works, which she is not forced to – all earnings she makes are absolutely her property. She is not obliged to spend from it on the household, unless she wants to do so with her free will. Irrespective how rich the wife is, the duty to give lodging, boarding, clothing and look after the financial aspects of the wife remains that of the husband.

No Muslim I have met would ever say this is incorrect; what they'll say to go around it is "it's the woman's option to contribute so she can".

@Anastomoses


If this is true I am so effing excited.

 

[fancymylotus]

Sorry that you cannot put it together here. I never once said being unsatisfied = feminism. I said feeling inadequate compared to boyfriend is a problem exacerbated by feminism.

Or just that persons own ****ing problem. You feel inadequate? Stop wallowing in you misery and go do something about it.

 

[Anastomoses]

@Anastomoses


If this is true I am so effing excited.

It is, my darling. Best though to talk to the individual in question. 😉

 

[Porfirio]

Not a joke thread.

I've been fortunate enough to be successful in med school. Unfortunately, my girlfriend (extremely likely future wife) has gotten stuck in a bit of a rut lately. Her lifestyle is getting pretty stagnant due to a lack of motivation -- she works part-time in retail on the side, but is barely getting by in her undergrad classes which she hates while doing no extracurriculars. She absolutely hates college and spends a massive amount of time at home with me doing nothing (internet).

Honestly, that's not a problem at all with me. I know I'm being supportive, and I never bug her to "do more with her life" or imply that my time is more valuable than hers. But she puts it all on herself, comparing herself to my med school studying, extracurriculars, hobbies, and enthusiasm. And she feels guilty that she's going to end up relying on me to support her since she has no passion for any career in particular. She really earnestly wants to help, work hard, and "pull her weight" in everything we do, but she's stuck by being too overwhelmed/nonpassionate to take the first steps. It sucks to hurt someone else by fulfilling your passions.

I'm asking for any advice on how to approach this from people who have experienced a similar inferiority/inadequacy complex in their spouse. This is only a flare-up of a long-existing minor problem, which I know will continue on in the future. I need to be good about managing this now before our "provider-dependent" roles solidify post-residency.

Thanks.

1 thing that I learned the hard way...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

Make sure she is not this. If she is, you need to leave*.



*Borderline chicks are amazing in bed

 

[touchpause13]

Sorry that you cannot put it together here. I never once said being unsatisfied = feminism. I said feeling inadequate compared to boyfriend is a problem exacerbated by feminism.

Which means that you think a woman's feminism is a problem in a relationship. Which a lot of us feel is stupid.

 

[Anastomoses]

Which means that you think a woman's feminism is a problem in a relationship. Which a lot of us feel is stupid.

Eh, who cares. Let the chick who sticks it out with him worry about that.

 

[fancymylotus]

Which means that you think a woman's feminism is a problem in a relationship. Which a lot of us feel is stupid.

Maybe I'm a lil lost/confused per usual. What's your definition of feminism?

 

[fancymylotus]

Eh, who cares. Let the chick who sticks it out with him worry about that.

I tried and failed with the law. He laughed at me 🙁

 

[touchpause13]

Maybe I'm a lil lost/confused per usual. What's your definition of feminism?

The radical notion that women are people too. Lol

Seriously though, I suppose my personal view is that irrespective of gender, people should be equal under the law, and have the freedom to pursue happiness without being shackled by gendered expectations.
Obviously that's super broad and utopian but hopefully you get the picture.

 

[fancymylotus]

The radical notion that women are people too. Lol

Seriously though, I suppose my personal view is that irrespective of gender, people should be equal under the law, and have the freedom to pursue happiness without being shackled by gendered expectations.
Obviously that's super broad and utopian but hopefully you get the picture.

Gotcha

I won't explain what my views on the "power balance" btw males and females in a relationship are bc...cultural bias

 

[touchpause13]

Gotcha

I won't explain what my views on the "power balance" btw males and females in a relationship are bc...cultural bias

Fair enough. I mean honestly we all have a cultural bias. I came from a very strongly matriarchal famiglia. My relationships have been much more egalitarian however.

 

[touchpause13]

in THIS relationship. Yes, I do think that.

Nice footwork there pal

 

[redpanda]

in THIS relationship. Yes, I do think that.

Would you mind defining what you find to be the feminist problem in this relationship given that the OP hasn't exactly defined what he believes to be feminist about his gf? Seems like feminism has been used to cover "women are people too" to Dworkin-style ideology.

 

[IlDestriero]

I could never marry a woman with little or motivation or career goals. You're in college, wait till she's overwhelmed with childcare activities, etc. A stay at home mom who needs a nanny is soo sexy.
Well maybe the nanny will be. 😉

 

[fancymylotus]

I could never marry a woman with little or motivation or career goals. You're in college, wait till she's overwhelmed with childcare activities, etc. A stay at home mom who needs a nanny is soo sexy.
Well maybe the nanny will be. 😉

God I love you

 

[Mad Jack]

There are over zealous people in almost every cause. For whatever reason lots of people seem to think it's universal among feminists 🙄

It's funny. IRL I tend to get along very well with libertarians. We agree on most things (gay rights, gun rights, abortion rights) but on the internets it's like a whole different ballgame

Most of the people on the internet are libtards, not real libertarians. They're generally in the "republicans don't go far enough" group rather than the "we need a whole new way of looking at political and personal freedoms" types that are actually involved in libertarian politics. In a way, some people on the far left and some people in the libertarian party have the same ultimate goals (more personal freedom and rights for all). The difference is the approach. People on the left want to guarantee freedom through laws, subsidies, and protections, while libertarians want everyone to be equal and free because no laws nor groups are restraining them.

These two points of view are ultimately in agreement but impossible to reconcile- leftists will argue that people are inherently unequal due to racism, sexism, and other factors beyond their control, thus regulation and government intervention must occur, while libertarians argue that people are all born equal and thus giving one group or another legal preferences, subsidies, or protections thus creates an unfair and unjust advantage for that group. So there's a lot of room for agreement, but also a lot of room for healthy debate. (Inb4 someone points out how overly simplified this is- it isn't meant to be exhaustive)

 

[evilbooyaa]

Here are some examples for your satisfaction:

``Women seem more offended by the concept of the prenup,`` he said. ``When they say `I do,` they`re more likely to think it`s going to be forever.``

Women with lucrative, high-profile careers are discovering that courts are quite willing to award alimony -- often in sizable sums -- to husbands not financially well off.

Joan Lunden, who earns $2 million a year as co-host of Good Morning America, last summer was ordered by a New York judge to pay ex-husband Michael Krauss $18,000 a month in temporary alimony. The judge also assigned all responsibility for the couple`s mortgage, taxes and other expenses -- about $8,000 a month -- to Lunden.

Fashion designer Mary McFadden was ordered to pay Kohle Yohannan, 30 years her junior, $2,400 a month in temporary support (he had sought $7,651), plus college tuition, rent, legal fees and a substantial portion of her multimillion-dollar business.

When the divorce was finalized in June 1991, the alimony was reduced to $600 a month, and McFadden agreed to give Yohannan a $100,000 lump-sum settlement.

Last summer actress Linda Lavin, then 54, ended an alimony battle with actor Clifford Niven, then 47, paying Niven $675,000. Niven reportedly sought $5 million of the $11 million Lavin earned during their nine-year marriage, plus $13,500 a month support for his two children from his previous marriage.

Jane Seymour last year was ordered to pay husband David Flynn $10,000 in monthly alimony through 1994 (Flynn had sought $20,000) and to surrender half the value of the $5 million oceanfront house they shared in Santa Barbara, Calif. Kim Basinger settled with makeup artist Ron Britton by giving him the couple`s $700,000 house and more than $64,000 in support. Jane Fonda forked over $10 million to Tom Hayden.

Roseanne Arnold, in a secret divorce settlement, agreed to support former husband William Pentland for 10 years, according to sources familiar with the deal. ``He should be paying me half of the moneyhe makes,`` she said, ``except what am I going to do with an extra 40 bucks a week?``

Most examples you posted resulted in the courts giving significantly less than HALF of the woman's earnings to her ex-husband. This is NOT the same the other way. If you want true equality, tell the courts to stop being biased.

I don't have first hand experience with alimony - I was under the impression that most alimony was a permanent thing unless the person re-married? Or is there a set timetable where alimony payments end, like child support?

Kirby - sounds like your GF has a pretty serious inferiority complex to you (and this relates to feminism per JP's and touchpause's argument because Kirby's GF *feels* she should be equally intelligent, hard-working, etc. to Kirby). All I can say is, be wary. If she is constantly comparing herself to you (even if she is your #1 cheerleader), there may be a time where she becomes bitter towards you.

If she wasn't in school (or was in school and was OK with just getting a degree as a back-up and/or not worried about how she compares to you), then this wouldn't be an issue. The only issue is that she feels like she is NOT equal to you, and it is unlikely that any attempt to convince her otherwise is going to end well for you.

 

[Kahreek]

Because all feminists believe in alimony 🙄

Most feminists I know HATE the concept. Myself included. It's basically the law saying women are too stupid and too depend to care for themselves.

never knew a women that said no to it.
I doubt you would say so.
Never knew any feminist action rooting against alimony.

 

[touchpause13]

never knew a women that said no to it.
I doubt you would say so.
Never knew any feminist action rooting against alimony.

I don't know anyone whose been offered it period.

 

[evilbooyaa]

I don't know anyone whose been offered it period.

If you were offered alimony, would you turn it down?

In the interest of full disclosure - if I was offered alimony, I wouldn't turn it down. Free money is free money.

 

[touchpause13]

If you were offered alimony, would you turn it down?

In the interest of full disclosure - if I was offered alimony, I wouldn't turn it down. Free money is free money.

I don't see how I could be offered it because my earning power is significantly greater than Mr. TPs so I'd probably be the one paying him alimony lol.

It depends. I suppose I would if I was trying to screw my ex over. If it was an amiable break up, then no

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

If you were offered alimony, would you turn it down?

In the interest of full disclosure - if I was offered alimony, I wouldn't turn it down. Free money is free money.

I know people who have not turned it down per say, but rather declined to seek it when they were likely to get awarded alimony. They simply wanted to cut the cord with their failed marriage and not feel in any way tied to their ex.

 

[Kahreek]

I don't see how I could be offered it because my earning power is significantly greater than Mr. TPs so I'd probably be the one paying him alimony lol.

It depends. I suppose I would if I was trying to screw my ex over. If it was an amiable break up, then no

lol, you would have sounded less radical just saying you would take it. because the bold statement just shows that your belief in alimony being offensive to women is just bollocks full of pride.

 

[touchpause13]

lol, you would have sounded less radical just saying you would take it. because the bold statement just shows that your belief in alimony being offensive to women is just bollocks full of pride.

Thanks! I care so much about your opinion of me!

 

[Kahreek]

What is for you, touchpause, an amiable breakup, the one where you get the house, the bank account and the kids?