Again, I'll disagree. Since it seems no one else wants to discuss the case, I'll explain what we did and why.
The patient had plateaued - she wasn't getting and better and she wasn't getting any worse. The treatment staff wasn't sure whether to proceed simply because there was a legitimate question as to whether or not aggressive therapy would return her to her pre-admission baseline. The family had not received conflicting information (a rarity), but they fundamentally disagreed as to what they wanted to do.
The caregiver daughter was absolutely adamant about continuing treatment, up to and including very aggressive measures, basing her position on the third daughter (the one who had had the stroke). In the twenty years since the third daughter had died (it occurs to me that I hadn't made that clear in the initial case presentation (and I will have to amend that before I present it again)), there had been no other information or evidence presented that their mother felt any differently than being a vitalist. The clinically-trained daughter was basing her feeling of what her mother wanted based solely on her impressions of being in the same room with her mother's unconscious body. She had no insights into her mother's wishes aside from simply saying "I don't think she would want it." The brother was essentially useless, he was content to sit and stare at the table while we met with the family.
Our big concern, aside from trying to get some headway into how to proceed, was how to avoid destroying the family. The daughters hadn't spoken for three years after the BKA; the mother's death would likely have produced a huge schism, especially if one felt like she was being ganged-up upon, so our first priority was getting them on the same page. We asked them questions to get them to realize that none of them wanted their mother to die, or had any bad feelings towards her, and would want her to be awake and happy. They all agreed that the only evidence we had pointed to her mother wanting intervention, and they all agreed that if she got worse, they would be willing to come back and sign a DNR.
The way things played out, the mother went south and died two weeks later, but the family was supportive and as of our last contact with them, there was no enmity between them. So part of the issue is autonomy, part of it is family management, and part of it was preserving the family unit. We didn't want a family already dealing with serious illness to start fighting amongst themselves; that simply makes a bad situation worse. If we had tried to push them in a particular direction, at least one of them would have bristled and gotten defensive, at which point any suggestions we would have made would have been fruitless (in fact, this is one of the reason why the consult had been called - previously, an attending had attempted to push them towards forgoing treatment, and while the clinically-trained daughter agreed, the caregiver daughter didn't (quite vociferously, in fact)).
I know there are many docs who feel that ethics consults and committees are (a) the "ethics police" in the hospital, or (b) useless, and they are free to have their opinions, but we actually do prevent quite a few problems. If your hospital does things differently, I'm sure there is a reason. I'm just concerned when someone suggests these cases are easy and solved by simply "correcting" bad information. As I'm sure you know, sometimes people respond to information positively, sometimes negatively, sometimes rationally, and sometimes irrationally. It's tricky waters.
Anyway, we can agree to disagree on this one. I love your blog, btw. I've been putting together a book about my experiences working on a psych floor for two years, and I was reminded of it while reading what you wrote.