Support. Just found out a loved one has cancer.

[agent]

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Hi All,

I just found out my favorite 27 yr old cousin has Hodgkins Lymphoma.

I did some research and its appears that Hodgkins Lymphona is fairly treatable as it slowly travels from node areas and rarely matasticizes in remote organs/ areas. I do not know what stage she is in, but I hope its 1.

I'm glad its not Non-Hodgkins, but its still upsetting. Anyone else find out a loved one had cancer if so would you mind sharing your feelings?

 

[DW]

i'm really sorry to hear that 🙁 My sister had breast cancer 2 years ago and it was a really tough time for all of us. It kind of makes ya feel helpless for a while, as in i wished there was something I could do about but couldnt. but the main thing is always to be supportive and spend as much time with your loved one as possilbe, they'll appreciate it

The main thing i'd encourage you to look into is there are all kinds of support groups, local and national, for cancer patients and their friends/families out there. For instance, check out the american cancer society site here.

http://www.acscsn.org/index.html?popup=1

 

[tBw]

Hey agent,

sickness of any kind is scary, as it makes you feel helpless, and cancer is one of those words that conjures up some fairly radical images for most of us. However, take heart, (as you already realise) cancer is a broad based sweeping term for a great many different types of condition where cell growth is abnormal - everything from skin cancer to brain cancer - and with many benign and treatable forms.

Several members of my family are now 'survivors', so people do go on to continue normal, energised lives, but that doesn't take away that during the treatment they can be (naturally) very scared regardless of what doctors tell them. Try to stay positive, both for your own sake and your cousins, and look into the many local resource groups that exist. These can help enormously with support and understanding. Every year now I run in the Susan B. Komen race for the cure - when my family were undergoing treatment I felt there was nothing I could do; raising awareness and money is one way I 'took' back that feeling of powerlessness. Good luck and let us know how your cousin, and you yourself, are doing.

 

[lola]

i'm sorry to hear about your cousin, agent 🙁. hopefully with the strides they've made in treating hodgkins disease in the last several years, she will be ok. my dad had non-hodgkins lymphoma and after lots of chemo, a relapse, and a stem cell transplant, my family is very fortunate he is alive and healthy. it was a really hard time for me, because i was living across the country during most of it, but we always get through these things somehow.

 

[Dr.PC]

Hi agent,

I am sorry to hear about your cousin. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and I know how scary it is. But, like you said her cancer is very treatable so she should recover nicely after her treatments. At times like these you realize that life is greater than any of us and sometimes we can not control how our lives change. I would really recommend being there for her, physically and spiritually. Most importantly, some people avoid talking to the cancer patients about their feelings or cancer experience, but it really helps them to deal with cancer much nicely when they know that someone cares. Good luck and my best wishes for your cousin.

 

[agent]

Thanks everyone. Wow Lola you've been through a lot.

 

[carrigallen]

I'm sorry to hear she has been diagnosed, agent. :-( My dad recently died of metastatic cancer, in his 40's. Perfectly normal people die of cancer; no one is invulnerable from an unexpected diagnosis. I do think the disease changed my dad's outlook on life..to such an extent that he appreciated his life more, even with a painful debilitating disease. Remember young people are generally much more responsive to therapy, so your friend probably has some chance of remission.

Staging is probably one of the toughest parts, because you don't know what to expect. I would suggest that any prognosis (as far as treatablity, years left) should be taken with a grain of salt. My dad's oncologist said he would live 3 months, but he ended up living three years, with decent quality of life. I guess now you can hope this is a treatable, lower stage disease...my thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Skaterbabe74]

Oh no Agent...I'm sooo sorry. Thankfully it is a very treatable cancer, and I'm sure it'll be rough, but your family will get through it.

My mom is a breast cancer survivor, which was very hard on me because I was 1000miles away when she was going through all of it. She's also had a couple other surgeries (for female issues) that I haven't been able to get home for. I HATE that I couldn't go home and be with her while she was going through all of that, but she's perfect now. She's in the best shape of her life and I'm sooo proud of her 😀

Also, my step mom didn't have cancer, but she died of a brain tumor. I have major regrets that I didn't get to come home and spend some time with her before she passed (or even the funeral - my mom called me less than 2 days before the funeral, not my dad, to tell me, and I couldn't get home). There was plenty of time - she fought it as strongly as she could for a good year and a half, but I don't think she wanted me to see her going downhill so they never brought me home. This was even harder for me to deal with than my mom because there was just soooo little that could be done, where I could take some comfort in the fact that breast cancer is largely survivable if caught early enough (which it was obviously).

Take some comfort in that fact Agent. Spend as much time with her as you can, look at the silver lining - if nothing else it should be a learning experience both emotionally and medicinally.

My thoughts are with you...
--Jessica, UCCS

 

[uniqueseraph]

agent,

I'm so sorry...🙁 🙁 I don't have a story or anything, but I'll pray for your family.

 

[CD]

Agent, I am sooo sorry....and I understand. Just when I began my undergraduate career, my mother was diagnosed with Hodgekins. That year is a complete blur...but we ALL made it. In fact, it has been 20 years since Mom was diagnosed and treated. ....she's been free from cancer for 20 years, although she does suffer side effects from the radiation etc. Newer techniques have reduced the need for higher dosages of radiation and the hope is newer patients will not have the long term effects of treatment!!!! Mom was a stage 2 when she was diagnosed. I won't lie, that year was hell, but I suppose it always is when you watch people you love suffer. The good news is MOST people with Hodgekins recover....almost everyone. Your cousin has wonderful odds for recovery....if only ALL cancer had such wonderful odds. If you have questions or just want to talk, send me an e-mail....I listen well.

 

[Zoobaby]

Hey Agent, I'm really sorry to hear the news. I had Hodgkin's when I was 17, went through all the staging and treatment and am healthy and strong 10 years later. As my oncologist told me "if you're gunna get cancer, that's the best one to get." They've been treating it for 150 years, it's easier to nail than most others.

If your cousin is a stage 1 (as I was) she probably feels perfectly healthy, it's the treatment that will make her sick. Just be there for her...

If you have any specific questions, feel free to PM me.

 

[2badr]

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin,agent.🙁 .It is hard to receive news of that kind.My sister passed away from cancer,and another family member was diagnosed with a brain tumor,but had surgery and so far,so good.
My family is currently dealing with my father's cancer right now.It can be difficult sometimes,but what I have learned is that sometimes the patient has to strong because the family members are taking things so hard.Be there for your cousin,support her,be a source of strength for her.It may be difficult when you are dealing with your own pain.Remain hopeful and prayerful.
Get as much info as possible and don't be afraid to ask questions-get informed as much as possible.
I will most definitely be praying for you and your family.

 

[fun8stuff]

Hey Agent, Keep your head up! That is the one thing you have to remember and the one thing your cousin needs to remember. There is nothing more important than one's own will to fight it off.

My step mom died of ovarian cancer about 5 years back. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 years ago. Two years ago my mom found out that it had moved to her brain. Last year, she "woke" up in a catatonic state. The cancer she has is a very aggressive cancer. After about a month in the hospital, we finally found a surgeon to fly in who was filling to chance the surgery. As it turns out, after much chemotherapy and radiation, after multiple surgeries, after much saddness, after losing all hope (only myself), my mom has been free of brain cancer for about a year. That day they told me my mom had hours left to live and that she probably wouldn't make it through the night, but she did. My mom is type of person who is very religious and has never lost hope. Not at all, even when I had lost hope.

Today my mom is almost totally recovered, except she still doesnt have any hair. A few months after her brain surgeries, it was discovered that cancer had shown up in her pubic bone. Our doctor switched the chemo and radiation and it was just discovered that the cancer there is also gone.

So Agent, doctors had a part in this, but it wasn't all of them and it wasn't all luck. Your cousin, as well as everyone around her needs to keep up hope and faith. I hope you have faith, because it is the only way that you will make it through. You have to give your problsm to the Lord. Ha ha... I never thought I would say that, but that is what my mom has always told me and I only now truly believe it.

Best of wishes.

" I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. " --C.S. Lewis

 

[rbassdo]

Originally posted by fun8stuff

" I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. " --C.S. Lewis

Love you quote. I know it's off topic, but I had to say it.



agent,

I'll be praying for your cousin.

 

[dreaminOfMD>.<]

My thoughts and prayers go out to your cousin. I hope everything goes well as I'm sure it will 🙂

 

[souljah1]

Agent,

I'm so sorry to hear that your cousin has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's. It is good to know that Hodgkin's is one of the more successfully treated cancers. Actually, Hodgkin's was the first advanced human malignancy that was cured with chemotherapy. As you know, long term survival depends mainly on the stage of the cancer (Stage I/II has a 95% long-term survival compared to 60% having StageIII/IV).

Staging is mainly determined by the number of lymph nodes involved, whether they are unilateral or bilateral, and if there is extra-nodal involvement. Fortunately, the fact that she is young female works in her favor since both female gender and being under 45 are indicators of a better prognosis. I you and your family just have to wait and see what stage her cancer is to then know the treatment regiment. Hopefully, she'll only have to do short course chemotherapy and radiation.

Cancer has hit a lot of my close friends' family members recently and it is a very difficult thing to do. If you feel like you are having a difficult time knowing what to do, or how to process your feelings, you shouldn't hesitate to reach out for help. Cancer is a tough thing to grapple with, not only for the person who is living with it, but also for their loved ones. Stay positive, stay strong, and remind yourself that Hodgkin's is a cancer, but it is not necessarily a death sentence. The odds are that she has a great life ahead of her.

Again, I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. I don't have any personal experience with family members dying of cancer (except my dog who died of osteosarcoma), but I just wanted to provide some support.

 

[pocwana]

Agent, I'm deeply sorry to hear about the condition of your cousin. Fortunately, it is treatable. My grandmother recently passed away from a metastatic brain tumor. Though it is rough, I was at least grateful that I was able to spend some time with her. I wish your cousin and your family much success in the time to come and hope for a full recovery.

 

[Moskeeto]

Hey good luck agent. Hopefully your cousin makes it thru this okay. I wish your family tons of strength to deal with it all. be sure to let your cousin know how much you care, I'm sure it will mean alot.

 

[peppy]

I can't say much of anything that hasn't already been said, but I wanted to add my support to all of you who are facing cancer. My mother is also a breast cancer survivor, so I have an idea of how frightening it can be. I definitely agree with the advice not to lose hope. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. 🙂

 

[lotanna]

Wow, after just finished completing my Cancer Epidemiology class, I have to say I've much much respect for all those who go through any type of cancer. Agent I'll say a prayer for your cousin, I hope everything goes okay. HL is a good cancer to have and she will definitely make it through. Keep your head up