Survey

[rxglasshalffull]

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How much did y'all spend on your rings, weddings, and related stuff?

 

[xiphoid2010]

3 month pharmacist salary is too much. $10k is good.

I'll upload an research essay I wrote during my experiential rotation later. ( I was getting engages and my preceptor looking for a new engagement ring after getting just a gold band for her engagement before graduation).

It will give a summary of what you should be looking for and how to optimize cost-effectiveness.

 

[BMBiology]

How much did y'all spend on your rings, weddings, and related stuff?

what is the rush? you guys are still young...he hasn't even worked as a pharmacist. why not wait for a couple of years? make some money, settle down to a nice place and then get marry?

 

[trailerpark]

I would buy a fake ring. Does anyone really ever go to a jeweler to have them check it's real?

 

[rxglasshalffull]

what is the rush? you guys are still young...he hasn't even worked as a pharmacist. why not wait for a couple of years? make some money, settle down to a nice place and then get marry?

hes 25 and im turning 25 the end of this year. we re kind young. but interestingly, a number of my friends are engaged or recently married already. 🙂

 

[xiphoid2010]

hes 25 and im turning 25 the end of this year. we re kind young. but interestingly, a number of my friends are engaged or recently married already. 🙂

here's the diamond summary that I did during my research for my wife's engagement ring back in 2009. I wrote it during my P4 rotation and passed it to my preceptor who was also looking for the same, needless to say, over achievers = A's.

This should tell you how to maximize your cost-effectiveness if you insist on making your man jump through hoops on a useless showoff piece.

 

[xiphoid2010]

hes 25 and im turning 25 the end of this year. we re kind young. but interestingly, a number of my friends are engaged or recently married already. 🙂

In case you are wondering what all that research resulted in what I got my wife:

Note the 4c's. I was still an P4 intern, so I couldn't afford much. But based on the research I did, I got her a 2/3 carrot perfect H&A cut eye clean diamond ring. Made lots of calls, spoke with lots of people in the business and in the known. Bought it online from an honest dealer. Cost me just shy of $2,000l. Diamond shops have appraised it at much higher, and other girls are jealous of the amazing fire it has, far out shining their larger poorer cut rings.

I hope girls could appreciate a man's intelligence, diligence, and dutifulness more than their willingness to blow easy money on them.

 

[BMBiology]

How much?

 

[trailerpark]

You do so much research on every last thing you buy it seems like. You need to work for consumer reports.

 

[xiphoid2010]

How much?

I bought the diamond for $13xx cash. I asked her to choose the ring setting she wanted -- white gold with 6 platinum prongs and side diamonds. Cost me total $18xx back in 2009.

 

[BidingMyTime]

The thing with diamonds, unlike a lot of purchases, diamonds at least normally maintain their resale value.

 

[xiphoid2010]

You do so much research on every last thing you buy it seems like. You need to work for consumer reports.

My parents groomed me to be a scientist or doctor. This trait has served my family and my current job well. Wish I had the same insight into girls during teens and early 20's though. 🙂

 

[rxglasshalffull]

here's the diamond summary that I did during my research for my wife's engagement ring back in 2009. I wrote it during my P4 rotation and passed it to my preceptor who was also looking for the same, needless to say, over achievers = A's.

This should tell you how to maximize your cost-effectiveness if you insist on making your man jump through hoops on a useless showoff piece.

my bf said thank you haha. and that was so sweet of you to spend that much time and energy on your wifes ring.

 

[xiphoid2010]

my bf said thank you haha. and that was so sweet of you to spend that much time and energy on your wifes ring.

Tell him he's welcome. I can relate what he must be going through. Since we are not competing for the same girl, so why not ease the suffering of a fellow man? 🙂

 

[KidPharmD]

How much did y'all spend on your rings, weddings, and related stuff?

Just so you know.

The rings: $1900 (mine was ~$400)
Wedding (total): <$6000 (including dress)
Honeymoon: $2500 (San Fran/Napa Valley)

For the original poster:
I am 29, married, 1 kid. Our financial advisor calculated our net worth at ~$750k this year (it is his basis for his fee - so we had it verified).

I do have to credit much of our wealth to some smart long term investing by my grandfather and parents when I was young.

 

[Momus]

Just so you know.

The rings: $1900 (mine was ~$400)
Wedding (total): <$6000 (including dress)
Honeymoon: $2500 (San Fran/Napa Valley)

For the original poster:
I am 29, married, 1 kid. Our financial advisor calculated our net worth at ~$750k this year (it is his basis for his fee - so we had it verified).

I do have to credit much of our wealth to some smart long term investing by my grandfather and parents when I was young.

Your parents didn't pass that along how to manage your own money? I'd never pay someone AUM fee for 2-3 hours of his work every year, that seems like a waste.

 

[KidPharmD]

Your parents didn't pass that along how to manage your own money? I'd never pay someone AUM fee for 2-3 hours of his work every year, that seems like a waste.

It is a reasonable fee, and he does much more than 2-3 hours of work a year. We figured it up and I paid him about $18 an hour last year. His company also functions as our accountants and takes care of our taxes (which are extra complicated due to several factors). I was able to move all my investments to a place without a personal broker since I no longer need anyone else's advice on my funds. I also can trust him to give me better advice since his job is to make me money, not to get me to buy/sell stocks. I saved enough money in brokerage fees over the 23 trades I made last year to make up for his fee. My investment portfolio also grew by $30k last year without me having think about it.

This arrangement works well for us. The 1-2% that your article describes, is nothing like what we pay for our advisor. We don't do AUM since he doesnt actually manage our accounts. He has access to what I have, and then calls me with advice.

 

[Momus]

Flat fee advisor anything less than $5k/year is reasonable for $1M asset.

Oh, and your investment portfolio would have grown 29.6% in 2013 if you just use index fund (stick with S&P), assuming a 350k portfolio, that's +$103k. Not just +$30k.

 

[sakigt]

Way negative right now.

To all you youngings, dont assume you can just magically find true love and knock out kids the month after you start trying. My husband got cancer my 2nd year of Pharmacy school and only thanks to good insurance coverage and good drugs and some luck is he alive and we have our (probably only due to the RT he received) son. Things are simply not like an episode of 16 and pregnant.

Life's too short, but Ive got a good insurance policy and a plan to pay off the bad debt by the time my son is 7. Happy medium.

 

[trailerpark]

All those 16 and pregnant girls are pumping out multiple kids. Looks easy. Just meet a loser and have unprotected sex.

 

[anewmanx]

It is horrifying how opposite of natural selection modern society has become. Those who should reproduce chemically sterilize themselves during the years that they are able to produce the healthiest children; meanwhile, the idiotic bestial masses with intelligence closer to an ape produce like wildfire.

 

[owlegrad]

It is horrifying how opposite of natural selection modern society has become. Those who should reproduce chemically sterilize themselves during the years that they are able to produce the healthiest children; meanwhile, the idiotic bestial masses with intelligence closer to an ape produce like wildfire.

How do you decide who "should" reproduce? Do smart people have smarter children?

 

[Momus]

How do you decide who "should" reproduce? Do smart people have smarter children?

Talking about solely on IQ, on average white and asians > hispanics > blacks IQ. On every part of the society, country and every neighbors, blacks are always on the bottom of socio-economic ladder. Correlation? I don't know. Maybe, it's the discrimination or the IQ thing.

Whites have higher high and lower low IQ, huge IQ range. Tend to be the inventor of things/more creative.

Asians have higher IQ on average but not many outliers, higher high. More boring, better math skills.

 

[BMBiology]

Talking about solely on IQ, on average white and asians > hispanics > blacks IQ. On every part of the society, country and every neighbors, blacks are always on the bottom of socio-economic ladder. Correlation? I don't know.

Whites have higher high and lower low IQ, huge IQ range. Tend to be the inventor of things/more creative.

Asians have higher IQ on average but not many outliers, higher high. More boring, better math skills.

So only whites and Asians get to
have babies!?

Being white or Asian give you so many benefits already.

 

[Momus]

So only whites and Asians get to have babies!?

Being white or Asian give you so many benefits already.

We are talking statistics, on average here... Of course, there are lot of dumb asians and whites and genius blacks and hispanics.

Would the world be better off if dumb people stop procreating? Yes! It's survival of the fittest. But, we like to support them with welfare, can't do sh1t about that...

 

[xiphoid2010]

Dysgenics has been a very controversial topic. Logically, the proven negative correlation between IQ and reproductive rates is a cause for concern, and in a static/closed system would logically lead to devolution of the human species.

However, the world isn't a static system. Advancements in science hold the possibility of counteracting worsening genetics (eg, better nutrition, medications, even genetically engineered babies). As well as government policies, eg. The highy effective although draconian One-child policy of China. Wars (inevitable over finite resources consumed by expanding populations) disease and famine typically cause higher attrition rate on the less fit population.

With these wild cards, its still unclear what will be the long term net effect. However, even if it is able to offset the IQ decline due to birthrates, it would have been better if humans reproduced in a way that promoted higher quanity and quality of intelligent offsprings.

 

[anewmanx]

How do you decide who "should" reproduce? Do smart people have smarter children?

Well, my personal opinion is that capable, intelligent, emotionally mature people who can provide a loving and financially stable future should reproduce.

Then again, one could argue that adversity can foster genius.

 

[anewmanx]

Lots of funny talk about IQ's here.

My IQ was gauged by a psychologist in the course of determining why I suffered terrible social problems in high school. I'm above 160; little good it has done me. Should I have reproduced? Might want to consider that I have autosomal dominant nocturnal frontal lobe epilepsy in my dna, along with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Thankfully I didn't pass my maladies down.

So many factors do consider. Good thing we live in a mostly free world.

 

[MatCauthon]

Yes, but my wife is equal to or better than I am. I am blessed, blessed, blessed. Gonna die a happy man even if I didn't have two pennies in my pocket to rub together.

I am not going to lie, I did a double-take when I read this sentence the 1st time. I initially thought this sentence was talking about something else.

 

[anewmanx]

I am not going to lie, I did a double-take when I read this sentence the 1st time. I initially thought this sentence was talking about something else.

I'm not sure I grasp what you're getting at, but my apologies for any confusion.

 

[Momus]

I'm not sure I grasp what you're getting at, but my apologies for any confusion.

Pennies for penises.

 

[anewmanx]

To raise a child from middle income couple, from the age of 0-17 yo takes about $250k + college tuition another $200k. For 5 kids, I guess you are doing well~

Though, I doubt you will be able to support all of their college education. Take care of retirement need first, no one is going to finance your retirement but your children can finance education.

Those figures are grossly exaggerated, no offense. They are based on the assumption that everyone needs their own iphone, room, the latest fashion, and a silver spoon in their mouth. It's especially skewed in a family with multiple children. Costs go down, not up. I.E. hand me down clothing and furniture, sharing living space for the boys / girls (I.E. two large rooms instead of a room for each kid, which is ridiculous.) Food is not very expensive if you cook at home. Childcare costs nothing in a traditional family setting, I.E. one parent stays home. Otherwise, it's a negligible concern if your spouse (male or female,) is making a high income. Transportation costs nothing extra because you can buy a van instead of a sedan.

Then you have to account for the huge tax breaks you get by having kids. I know my best friend, R.I.P Jonah, came from a family of around 10. His father pain next to nothing on taxes, they lived in a huge home, and he ended up a millionaire from his real estate business.

Lastly, with the miracle of student loans or military service, your kids can pay for their own university education. I.E. actually work for something instead of being given a handout. That builds character, the opposite of cali culture.

In short, some people make MORE money having a big family. I know it was quite common among a community called the Apostolic Lutherans that my friend Jonah's family was from. The families with the fewest kids actually seemed to struggle the most. It became like a well oiled machine. They were all loved, happy, well fed, and well cared for.

I can't wait to have more kids!!

 

[anewmanx]

Pennies for penises.

That's highly disturbing.

 

[anewmanx]

Dysgenics has been a very controversial topic. Logically, the proven negative correlation between IQ and reproductive rates is a cause for concern, and in a static/closed system would logically lead to devolution of the human species.

However, the world isn't a static system. Advancements in science hold the possibility of counteracting worsening genetics (eg, better nutrition, medications, even genetically engineered babies).

How lovely the day will be when genetic engineering is cost effective and mainstream.

I know I personally would love to be cured of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Being a mutant isn't as cool as the X-Men make it look. My super power is being like gumby and staying broken when I get injured! Fail.

 

[oldstock]

Kids you can calculate for and see it coming. Its your partner that will be the make and break you.

I didn't go to pharmacy school until my late 20s because I wasted 6 yrs on a girl who I thought was the love of my life. Fell madly in love in undergrad, turned down a medical school acceptance to start working, put her through part of undergrad and all of graduate school, hooked her up with a job when done. Just when I thought we were finally set to start a family, she cheats with her boss who was already married with kids! I mean how cliche is that?

6 years and incalculable amount od money wasted. Choosing the wrong girl will do you in far worse than any poor personal finance plan. When you are young and in love, if you find it impossible to step back to take a objective look, then ask and listen to others. I wish I had listened my parents like I did on just about everything else.

madness !!!! hope she was blonde hair blue eyes long legs big b00bs or something nice... LOL 🙂 jk

a note on this thread: if a robber came here and read this thread, he would know who to rob... too much info than even you guys would like the IRS to know.... 😉

 

[xiphoid2010]

madness !!!! hope she was blonde hair blue eyes long legs big b00bs or something nice... LOL 🙂 jk

a note on this thread: if a robber came here and read this thread, he would know who to rob... too much info than even you guys would like the IRS to know.... 😉

Not a blonde, but she was very pretty, made me feel proud, feel very protective of her. To a 21 year old, leave her behind for a lonely life at some medschool across the country seemed like madness too. See! I was using my head, 2-3 times a day.

Not sure about others, but I'm not worried about IRS. Pay my fair share, but not any more than that.

 

[oldstock]

Not a blonde, but she was very pretty, made me feel proud, feel very protective of her. To a 21 year old, leave her behind for a lonely life at some medschool across the country seemed like madness too. See! I was using my head, 2-3 times a day.

Not sure about others, but I'm not worried about IRS. Pay my fair share, but not any more than that.

you break the myth about Asian men... lol 😍😍 👍👍

 

[anewmanx]

Not a blonde, but she was very pretty, made me feel proud, feel very protective of her. To a 21 year old, leave her behind for a lonely life at some medschool across the country seemed like madness too. See! I was using my head, 2-3 times a day.

Not sure about others, but I'm not worried about IRS. Pay my fair share, but not any more than that.

Why did you opt for pharmacy school after all those years? Was it a lifestyle choice?

 

[xiphoid2010]

Why did you opt for pharmacy school after all those years? Was it a lifestyle choice?

When it was time to pick up life where I left off, I was seriously reconsidering med-school vs. pharmacy school. MCAT was only good for 5 years, so I would have to study all the material all over again which would have delayed me to the next school year. I wanted to specialize in onocology which takes 4 + 5 years. So I would have to put my life on hold until late 30's going the MD route. Where as pharmacy school, the PCAT was easy enough to not need studying, and 4 years to PharmD puts me 6 years ahead of the MD route. Also Pfizer was posting research pharmacist position at $130K+/yr in clinical trials unit back then, having worked for them already is a way back in (but then the big pharmas tanked in the late 2000's).

 

[anewmanx]

When it was time to pick up life where I left off, I was seriously reconsidering med-school vs. pharmacy school. MCAT was only good for 5 years, so I would have to study all the material all over again which would have delayed me to the next school year. I wanted to specialize in onocology which takes 4 + 5 years. So I would have to put my life on hold until late 30's going the MD route. Where as pharmacy school, the PCAT was easy enough to not need studying, and 4 years to PharmD puts me 6 years ahead of the MD route. Also Pfizer was posting research pharmacist position at $130K+/yr in clinical trials unit back then, having worked for them already is a way back in (but then the big pharmas tanked in the late 2000's).

Fair enough. When the dust settled from my injuries in the military I considered med school here in CR vs Pharmacy school. They both cost the same and were only three semesters different in length. The cincture for me was the trifecta of easier foreign license transfer process compared to an MD, and the idea of research or independent pharmacy ownership as career possibilities.

I can't reasonably see myself doing 80 hour work weeks either. Life's too short and I'm not in my 20's anymore.

 

[BMBiology]

When it was time to pick up life where I left off, I was seriously reconsidering med-school vs. pharmacy school. MCAT was only good for 5 years, so I would have to study all the material all over again which would have delayed me to the next school year. I wanted to specialize in onocology which takes 4 + 5 years. So I would have to put my life on hold until late 30's going the MD route. Where as pharmacy school, the PCAT was easy enough to not need studying, and 4 years to PharmD puts me 6 years ahead of the MD route. Also Pfizer was posting research pharmacist position at $130K+/yr in clinical trials unit back then, having worked for them already is a way back in (but then the big pharmas tanked in the late 2000's).

How do you feel about your decision now?

 

[BMBiology]

Not a blonde, but she was very pretty, made me feel proud, feel very protective of her. To a 21 year old, leave her behind for a lonely life at some medschool across the country seemed like madness too. See! I was using my head, 2-3 times a day.

Not sure about others, but I'm not worried about IRS. Pay my fair share, but not any more than that.

Did you feel like you had to protect her from other guys?

 

[ArtificallyFlavored]

Girls are much better at faking feelings than we guys are, I had no inkling until then..

Unfortunately this is true, but it's not only the women at fault. I remember watching an episode of Friendzone on MTV where it's very clear that the girl is not interested in her guy friend. When he asks her out, she says, "I think you know the answer to that." But he still waits for her answer as if she will say yes.

When we see a rich old man with beautiful younger woman, it's apparent to everybody except the man that the woman could not possibly be attracted to him.

The older I get, the more I realize that men are completely BLINDED by looks. This is from experiences in my own life as well as from listening to other people's stories. If I happen to talk to a guy, or maybe look at him the wrong way, suddenly he thinks I'm interested. But when I try to drop hints that I'm not interested, those hints get ignored. Men simply believe what they want to believe...

 

[a student]

The older I get, the more I realize that men are completely BLINDED by looks. This is from experiences in my own life as well as from listening to other people's stories. If I happen to talk to a guy, or maybe look at him the wrong way, suddenly he thinks I'm interested. But when I try to drop hints that I'm not interested, those hints get ignored. Men simply believe what they want to believe...

Basically, you're saying that you got the looks? =P

 

[xiphoid2010]

How do you feel about your decision now?

I feel pretty good about it. Sure I have regrets about not going to medschool, but if I did, I would still be working my ass off and paid peanuts as a fellow right now. I would have not met my wonderful wife during pharmacy school, have 2 kids and pretty cushy jobs. Together we are not financially worse off than vs many MDs + their money sucking trophy wives. 😀 My regrets have more to do with making a stupid mistake and the lost years than how things are now.

As for your other comment. We all made mistakes, some are bigger than others. I was raise to see girls as sweeter and more innocent than us, and to protect them, as such I tried to place the ones I liked on a pedestal. However, the higher you place them, the more likely they will let you down. I just couldn't wrap my younger brain around that girls are just as capable of evil as us guys, especially a pretty one that I was in love with. So I learned a lesson the hard way, but some lessons only sinks in that way.

 

[knight on horse]

Good thing you recovered. Of the evils of mankind this one I know by instinct

Cuz I'm hot as **** 😎

 

[Momus]

I was raise to see girls as sweeter and more innocent than us, and to protect them, as such I tried to place the ones I liked on a pedestal. However, the higher you place them, the more likely they will let you down.

Putting a girl on pedestal is number 1 no no on pick up artistry skill. It's like the number one rule not to do. You get the fu3k the girl if you get her to admire you, not the other way around where she is the higher status in the relationship; she will trash you and bang the other dude with higher status (why girls like "jerks"; nice guys finish last).

 

[anewmanx]

Putting a girl on pedestal is number 1 no no on pick up artistry skill. It's like the number one rule not to do. You get the fu3k the girl if you get her to admire you, not the other way around where she is the higher status in the relationship; she will trash you and bang the other dude with higher status (why girls like "jerks"; nice guys finish last).

Seriously, dude, there is more to life than the exchange of bodily fluids. How about a meaningful relationship, a mutually edifying lifelong friendship. There's something to be said for a lifelong investment that culminates in dying together hand in hand, filled with memories of love and companionship, and surrounded by generations of descendants that love you.

 

[Momus]

Seriously, dude, there is more to life than the exchange of bodily fluids. How about a meaningful relationship, a mutually edifying lifelong friendship. There's something to be said for a lifelong investment that culminates in dying together hand in hand, filled with memories of love and companionship, and surrounded by generations of descendants that love you.

Not putting the girl on pedestal is actually a skill you want to have if you want your wife forever with you, not just pick up artist skill... Always be the man, not some nice guys who's pnssy whipped.

 

[anewmanx]

Not putting the girl on pedestal is actually a skill you want to have if you want your wife forever with you, not just pick up artist skill... Always be the man, not some nice guys who's pnssy whipped.

I subscribe to mutual adoration with a self sacrificial utter commitment from both parties. Anything less than a truly informed decision to commit yourselves to that one partner, forsaking the possibility of divorce, is not likely to stand.

The permanence of the marriage commitment has really been watered down in modern society. People treat it as more of a cute facebook status update than a life changing decision.