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- Feb 22, 2007
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Here's something I just learned from an article on the 'net that I saw over on StupidFree_Drama (Paraxeni's write-up is here):
1. A ballpoint pen inserted in your penis makes a terrific sex toy.
2. If you find you can't retrieve the pen after sexyfuntime is over, just try pushing it in even more, because you'll surely be able to reach into your rear end and pull it out that way!
3. What? The bladder isn't connected to the intestines? Uh oh! Better go to the hospital!
4. From the article:
There is a pic of the x-ray with the article. It looks incredibly painful. 😱
ETA: Later in the thread devoted to the discussion of Pen in Penis Guy, a poster called Miss_Blue1 shared a tale (ha! a tale!) from Romania about a guy who figured that he could cure his constipation by inserting two hammers into his rectum. Original article with video (all in Romanian) is here. Miss_Blue1 kindly provided the following translation:
Yes, you read that right: "a beer mug handle which he said nothing about." So, uh... yeah.
Oh, and a poster called Villainism posted the following screencap that was rather hilariously translated via an online translator:
"Woe ass!", indeed! 😱
1. A ballpoint pen inserted in your penis makes a terrific sex toy.
2. If you find you can't retrieve the pen after sexyfuntime is over, just try pushing it in even more, because you'll surely be able to reach into your rear end and pull it out that way!
3. What? The bladder isn't connected to the intestines? Uh oh! Better go to the hospital!
4. From the article:
The pen ended up next to the external urethral sphincter, which surrounds the length of the urethra and controls the flow of urine, and came out through the prostatic fossa, the depression which houses the prostate. Miraculously, the guy didn't TEAR anything! And (presumably with some painkillers) the doctors were able to remove the pen with some graspers and stone retrieval baskets, which are things that can be inserted in and inflated to create a passage wide enough to free a stuck object (usually a kidney stone or something).
There is a pic of the x-ray with the article. It looks incredibly painful. 😱
ETA: Later in the thread devoted to the discussion of Pen in Penis Guy, a poster called Miss_Blue1 shared a tale (ha! a tale!) from Romania about a guy who figured that he could cure his constipation by inserting two hammers into his rectum. Original article with video (all in Romanian) is here. Miss_Blue1 kindly provided the following translation:
This is basically the translation, excuses for bad grammar I find it easier to express myself freely
DOC: You can see one of the hammers in this x-ray, the metallic part of it, and over here the second one which has also a part of the handle, you cn see the wood from the handle, which was introduced through his rectum through here and downwards, and later they repositioned themselves.
REPORTER: ER doctors have listened to the unbelievable story of this 40 year old man
MAN: I was drunk. I ate 800 grams of cherries and I swallowed the seeds and I got constipated. I shoved the hammers to break the seeds.
REPORTER: Why two hammers?
MAN: I could have shoved more!
REPORTER: He told us that he wanted to break the seeds by introducing in his anus a hammer. Not being satisfied with the result, he introduced a second one with a handle and a string attached to it, but the string broke and the handle detached from the metal part.
DOC: medical blah blah that I can't translate .... He had them for 3 days. We performed surgery and we also discovered a beer mug handle which he said nothing about.
And the text from the right says A man from Olt (it's a district) and there is also a river named Olt as well.
Yes, you read that right: "a beer mug handle which he said nothing about." So, uh... yeah.
Oh, and a poster called Villainism posted the following screencap that was rather hilariously translated via an online translator:

"Woe ass!", indeed! 😱
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