Things I Learn From My Patients
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They gave Meaghan (our beagle) Tramadol when she tore her tendon in her knee. So that's a pretty appropriate pic! LOL
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some of the stories emailed in by members of nursesareangels.com:
I work as a Diabetic specialist nurse. An elderly lady was in clinic, and I asked her if she could read the eye chart for me covering her left eye.
"I can' t dear," came her reply.
Okay cover your other eye and read the chart.
"I can't dear," was the reply again.
I thought for a moment. then asked if she could read.
"Oh yes dear" came the reply.
Well read the chart for me then.
"I can't dear," came the reply again.
By this time I was puzzled. So asked if she could see the chart.
"Oh yes dear," came the reply.
Feeling frustrated by this time, I asked why she could not read the chart.
The answer came "because I can't pronounce it!"
Submitted by: Christine Pearson
I was interviewing an elderly man who was being admitted to my unit. I finally got to the cardiovascular conditions and asked him if he had angina. He replied "Why no! That is a female part." - Submitted by April Cummings
When I was a student a nursing colleague of mine was asked by a patient if his testes had gone black. Silently she pulled the screens around the bed, asked him to drop his pyjama bottoms and had a look. 'No everythings fine,' she reassured him, 'What made you think something was wrong?' 'I didn't think anything was wrong,' he replied, 'I only asked if my test results had come back.' Submitted by: Julia Macdonald
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
A nurses' aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed,"You're not coming in here with me. This is a one-seater."
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor. "The patch." The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see....Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive."
And of course, the best is saved for last.... A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
"I can' t dear," came her reply.
Okay cover your other eye and read the chart.
"I can't dear," was the reply again.
I thought for a moment. then asked if she could read.
"Oh yes dear" came the reply.
Well read the chart for me then.
"I can't dear," came the reply again.
By this time I was puzzled. So asked if she could see the chart.
"Oh yes dear," came the reply.
Feeling frustrated by this time, I asked why she could not read the chart.
The answer came "because I can't pronounce it!"
Submitted by: Christine Pearson
I was interviewing an elderly man who was being admitted to my unit. I finally got to the cardiovascular conditions and asked him if he had angina. He replied "Why no! That is a female part." - Submitted by April Cummings
When I was a student a nursing colleague of mine was asked by a patient if his testes had gone black. Silently she pulled the screens around the bed, asked him to drop his pyjama bottoms and had a look. 'No everythings fine,' she reassured him, 'What made you think something was wrong?' 'I didn't think anything was wrong,' he replied, 'I only asked if my test results had come back.' Submitted by: Julia Macdonald
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
A nurses' aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed,"You're not coming in here with me. This is a one-seater."
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?", asked the doctor. "The patch." The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see....Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive."
And of course, the best is saved for last.... A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
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If your friend is in the ICU please don't bring him crack. If you must bring him crack, make sure he is not on oxygen. If he is on oxygen at least don;t use a homemade pipe for that. If you do to all of the above you will set fire to the ICU and be arrested on multiple felony counts.
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Also from personal experience. If you are at one of the larger anime conventions in America do not high hive over 100 random people at one time and then not wash your hands for a few hours. You will be lucky to only have a sore throat and uvulitis for two weeks afterwards and be prone to uvulitis afterwards.
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Been a member for some years. Doesn't make me any smarter.
Things a head trauma and adrenalin make possible and where the concussion won't help in the decision making process.
Idiot Pt (me) is doing his usual thing of being an invisible ninja (riding a bicycle while wearing lots of fluorescent stuff and reflective stuff on a bike with 4 rear lights, 3 front lights and side lights on the front wheels).
Truck didn't see me and substantial bits of me got to meet the side of the truck as he passed and the air drag got me. Amazingly nothing was fatal or particularly severe as these things go individually.
When I came to at the side of the road I was a touch confused and in pain. Brief investigation showed a broken right arm (and elbow and collarbone). Found remains of phone in pocket somewhat wet too (that'd be blood then).
It hurt too much to cough and it was tough breathing. Given that no car was stopping to see why there was something resembling a christmas tree flashing away in the gutter of the rural main road, I decided that I needed to get *somewhere* so I stood up to grab my bike.
Then I fell over and made the fascinating discovery that I was bleeding profusely from where that bit of bone was sticking out of my jeans.
I've only a little medical training and wasn't in the best shape for thinking straight so the next bit is mostly reconstructed from how I presented at the A&E (ER).
I have a tendency to carry odd stuff around so my rear bike rack and panniers have ratchet straps and bungee cords in excess attached. I applied a direct pressure strap to my leg where it was bleeding and a looser tourniquet to just above. I managed to strap my right arm into a safe position.
I disconnected the front brake of the bike because the wheel was too buckled for the brake to be effective.
I got on the bike and started riding for help. Dropping a 24 speed bike into bottom gear is pretty efficient and I use pedals with straps so I can exert a pull on the upstroke too so riding with one working leg is quite easy too if you are properly conscious!
I *don't* know how.
My proper memory kicks in when I got to the A&E and I had to decide how to get out/off the contraption I had strapped myself to. I decided that the doors were automatic and that I could probably stop and lean at the reception desk without dismounting.
Managed that.
Reception: You can't ride a bike in here!
Me: Turning head to show the *wounded* side. Erm, I've been hit by a truck, need some help here.
Then I fell asleep a bit.
Next thing that happened woke me a bit. They unstrapped me.
Me: Whatever you do, if you can get away with it, *don't* give me blood. I'm a universal donor and also a donor for a couple of the stupidly rare blood types check my wallet. Get on to the blood transfusion service!
A bit later - I woke up in a ward. Lots of statements to give (no there's not a chance of finding the truck that did it) (try the one from the nissan plant with blood down the side?).
Blood loss was kinda at the point where people were arguing *still* but since I'd been explicit and they'd checked, my being awake was kind of a victory for those who spotted that although I'm an ectomorph, I'm one with a history of cycling 200 miles per week and could handle it a bit.
Turns out I was out for 6 hours.
I was an inpatient for 3 weeks. I'm still getting physio.
I ordered pizza delivered once a friend bought me a new phone for all the people who made sure that I was OK and helped me heal.
Looking forward to getting back on my new bike soon.
The other one was stolen from outside A&E
Things a head trauma and adrenalin make possible and where the concussion won't help in the decision making process.
Idiot Pt (me) is doing his usual thing of being an invisible ninja (riding a bicycle while wearing lots of fluorescent stuff and reflective stuff on a bike with 4 rear lights, 3 front lights and side lights on the front wheels).
Truck didn't see me and substantial bits of me got to meet the side of the truck as he passed and the air drag got me. Amazingly nothing was fatal or particularly severe as these things go individually.
When I came to at the side of the road I was a touch confused and in pain. Brief investigation showed a broken right arm (and elbow and collarbone). Found remains of phone in pocket somewhat wet too (that'd be blood then).
It hurt too much to cough and it was tough breathing. Given that no car was stopping to see why there was something resembling a christmas tree flashing away in the gutter of the rural main road, I decided that I needed to get *somewhere* so I stood up to grab my bike.
Then I fell over and made the fascinating discovery that I was bleeding profusely from where that bit of bone was sticking out of my jeans.
I've only a little medical training and wasn't in the best shape for thinking straight so the next bit is mostly reconstructed from how I presented at the A&E (ER).
I have a tendency to carry odd stuff around so my rear bike rack and panniers have ratchet straps and bungee cords in excess attached. I applied a direct pressure strap to my leg where it was bleeding and a looser tourniquet to just above. I managed to strap my right arm into a safe position.
I disconnected the front brake of the bike because the wheel was too buckled for the brake to be effective.
I got on the bike and started riding for help. Dropping a 24 speed bike into bottom gear is pretty efficient and I use pedals with straps so I can exert a pull on the upstroke too so riding with one working leg is quite easy too if you are properly conscious!
I *don't* know how.
My proper memory kicks in when I got to the A&E and I had to decide how to get out/off the contraption I had strapped myself to. I decided that the doors were automatic and that I could probably stop and lean at the reception desk without dismounting.
Managed that.
Reception: You can't ride a bike in here!
Me: Turning head to show the *wounded* side. Erm, I've been hit by a truck, need some help here.
Then I fell asleep a bit.
Next thing that happened woke me a bit. They unstrapped me.
Me: Whatever you do, if you can get away with it, *don't* give me blood. I'm a universal donor and also a donor for a couple of the stupidly rare blood types check my wallet. Get on to the blood transfusion service!
A bit later - I woke up in a ward. Lots of statements to give (no there's not a chance of finding the truck that did it) (try the one from the nissan plant with blood down the side?).
Blood loss was kinda at the point where people were arguing *still* but since I'd been explicit and they'd checked, my being awake was kind of a victory for those who spotted that although I'm an ectomorph, I'm one with a history of cycling 200 miles per week and could handle it a bit.
Turns out I was out for 6 hours.
I was an inpatient for 3 weeks. I'm still getting physio.
I ordered pizza delivered once a friend bought me a new phone for all the people who made sure that I was OK and helped me heal.
Looking forward to getting back on my new bike soon.
The other one was stolen from outside A&E
I'm not a doctor, but I have been in the ER far too many times for far too many reasons [emoji14]
(Just kidding, I am pre-med with an interest in EM and I volunteer).
When you are in the ER for your "migraine that's so *terrible* your head is going to explode any second", the doctors and nurses will definitely appreciate your ordering of potato wedges and making out with your girlfriend in the waiting room. They'll also appreciate your inviting two rowdy friends to keep you company. Then, when you finally get a bed (and the nurse breaks up your little party), feel free to make a ruckus about how you "just have to be seen" and wander the halls asking for a nurse repeatedly while eating the aforementioned potato wedges. Your girlfriend will call for you to get back in the room, then also yell at the nurses about how badly you need to be seen.
The doctor will tell you to stop eating, but you're *just so hungry*, so it's okay if you sneak off and continue your feast...then continue pressing your call bell every 5-10 minutes and sending your girlfriend out to bug the nurses.
The doctor will order an IV with non narcotic pain medication, no matter how much you beg for some of the strong stuff in the pills because the IV doesn't ever work. Your girlfriend will tell you to just get the IV medicine so you can go home.
The nurses and doctors will then laugh and smirk as you scream because you are scared of the IV. 🙂
I was expecting her to be in on the drug seeking and that he'd be at least okay with an IV, but oh, it was a very good twist.
(Just kidding, I am pre-med with an interest in EM and I volunteer).
When you are in the ER for your "migraine that's so *terrible* your head is going to explode any second", the doctors and nurses will definitely appreciate your ordering of potato wedges and making out with your girlfriend in the waiting room. They'll also appreciate your inviting two rowdy friends to keep you company. Then, when you finally get a bed (and the nurse breaks up your little party), feel free to make a ruckus about how you "just have to be seen" and wander the halls asking for a nurse repeatedly while eating the aforementioned potato wedges. Your girlfriend will call for you to get back in the room, then also yell at the nurses about how badly you need to be seen.
The doctor will tell you to stop eating, but you're *just so hungry*, so it's okay if you sneak off and continue your feast...then continue pressing your call bell every 5-10 minutes and sending your girlfriend out to bug the nurses.
The doctor will order an IV with non narcotic pain medication, no matter how much you beg for some of the strong stuff in the pills because the IV doesn't ever work. Your girlfriend will tell you to just get the IV medicine so you can go home.
The nurses and doctors will then laugh and smirk as you scream because you are scared of the IV. 🙂
I was expecting her to be in on the drug seeking and that he'd be at least okay with an IV, but oh, it was a very good twist.
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O.O
well this escalated quickly...
wow... I mean-over 100?? that is off the scale man
I'd be like - WORTH IT
at least after this #insaneantigenicconditioning you won't be getting autoimmune diseases haha. House will be disappoint
Warwick: Your tale is just epic. There is no other word for it. The fact that after your acute truck exposure you did not crawl onto the edge of the road and scream at passing motorists 'have mercy on a dying man! oh the humanity'
but self-presented on a bike right up to the admissions desk... 😎
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but self-presented on a bike right up to the admissions desk... 😎
That was stupidity/stubbornness/head injury. I rode past at least 4 public payphones, 2 service stations, 3 pubs and probably some people. I knew I had to get to hospital so I did. The road where I was hit is kinda quiet but fast and outside town so people just don't slow on it (and I try to avoid it... and will *really* avoid it now). I'm looking into some helmet gadgets that have accelerometers, GPS and cellphone capabilities. They notice the sudden bangs and then the not moving and start sending texts with your location to people. Not exactly cheap but not *that* much compared to bleeding to death in a ditch.
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Things I learned from *other* patients is probably as close as I can get. I pieced this one together from A&E and acute care.
I don't know the street names of drugs and certainly not the USAian equivalents. A patient was admitted while I was nice, stable and awake and awaiting transfer to acute care. Bleeding profusely from lots of small scrapes and strapped down hard, screaming abuse and spitting blood from a face that looked like he'd been hit with a brick. Presenting with lots of pain and his left arm velcroed to his chest... accompanied by 2 police officers. Paramedics told the triage nurse they were 90% sure he had fractures on that arm and the collarbone was busted but they couldn't do anything about it until he came down a bit.
Next ambulance in came a youngish guy in a suit, walking, but a sling on and a huge bleeding cut across his head a police officer with him too but looking concerned rather than heartily annoyed. He got put in he cubicle next to me and well.. curtains not walls.
The walking guy got a brief check and it was decided a cautionary x-ray to his fist, wrist and stitches to the head wound would be needed. The strapped down psycho got put somewhere on the other side of a door while the blood test results came back to find out what he was on.
The police officer in the next cubicle asked if it was OK to start getting proper details for a statement and to patient agreed.
A few minutes later, I remembered the existence of this thread and resolved to go find it once I got back.
We'll call the guy in the next cubicle Tim (his middle name with the first name being Vic).
He'd been out with friends and had called a Taxi to collect him from the corner of a residential road and the main road. He was looking at something on facebook on his phone when a car screeched to a halt and that Psycho Dude jumped out.
... and now the existence of this thread finally surfaced and I had to bite my lip to stop laughing (because it'd hurt with a couple of cracked ribs).
So he was SOCMOB when this dude....
Actually, he really *was*.
The nutjob accused him of laughing at him and wasn't listening to reason and then swung a bottle at him but staggered and knocked the bottom of it off on a tree so a chunk caught him on the temple. Tim kept going backwards and was dialling 999 (911 equivalent). As Tim was running out of street, psycho got annoyed at not connecting any blows and told him to try and punch him. Tim was getting annoyed so took his one and only swing at Nutjob.
Nutjob went down hard and bounced back up! He complained that Tim hadn't waited for him to be ready!
I have had time to come to love the logic of such people during my brief sojourn in the traumatic part of the health system.
It turns out that nutjob had a couple of passengers and they came sprinting down the road to drag him away at this point.
Tim was still talking to emergency services.
Nutjob broke free and sprinted as fast as Tim had ever seen anyone run at him. Tim did the sensible thing and sidestepped. Nutjob kept moving and went through a pyracantha hedge and face first into an oak tree.
Tim was a bit concerned because he hadn't intended this so went to check that psycho was OK and on the phone asked for an ambulance to be added and headed in through the hedge to check psycho was alive.
Then his mates (friends) arrived. They decided that our Tim had had enough, was going to beat the hell out of psycho and set about punching and kicking him. He had had enough and was sober. This didn't go well for them. The police turned up about a minute later.
All 3 had been taking "Speed" and drinking. So EtOH mixed with amphetamines makes a bad mix that can lead to psychosis.
Fast forward 2 days. Acute care ward. Psycho is in the next area to mine and still causing trouble. I'm stitched up and am loaded up with quite a bit of plaster of paris equivalent.
Psycho shouts out that since he hit the buzzer 30 seconds ago and nobody has come he's going to **** the bed.
I'm not supposed to be out of bed yet but since I'm actually kinda physically fit and coordinated and can handle pain and... *oh yeah had to promise to admit to something hurting damned clever doctor promising chocolate!*
I wheeled around the corner.
"You slowed down my treatment in ER"
"What you going to do about it you flid?"
Not sure what flid is.
#Pushes him back down onto his performance art.
"Now, You have a choice. You destroyed this sheet and are covered in your own ****. Getting cleaned up is *not* my problem. You can ask really nicely and be pleasant to the staff or I can.. oh look I unlocked your phone from the smear patterns.... I can ring your mum and tell her all about it.
psycho: you *******************************************************8
Me: Hello is that Mrs Psycho mum?
I don't know the street names of drugs and certainly not the USAian equivalents. A patient was admitted while I was nice, stable and awake and awaiting transfer to acute care. Bleeding profusely from lots of small scrapes and strapped down hard, screaming abuse and spitting blood from a face that looked like he'd been hit with a brick. Presenting with lots of pain and his left arm velcroed to his chest... accompanied by 2 police officers. Paramedics told the triage nurse they were 90% sure he had fractures on that arm and the collarbone was busted but they couldn't do anything about it until he came down a bit.
Next ambulance in came a youngish guy in a suit, walking, but a sling on and a huge bleeding cut across his head a police officer with him too but looking concerned rather than heartily annoyed. He got put in he cubicle next to me and well.. curtains not walls.
The walking guy got a brief check and it was decided a cautionary x-ray to his fist, wrist and stitches to the head wound would be needed. The strapped down psycho got put somewhere on the other side of a door while the blood test results came back to find out what he was on.
The police officer in the next cubicle asked if it was OK to start getting proper details for a statement and to patient agreed.
A few minutes later, I remembered the existence of this thread and resolved to go find it once I got back.
We'll call the guy in the next cubicle Tim (his middle name with the first name being Vic).
He'd been out with friends and had called a Taxi to collect him from the corner of a residential road and the main road. He was looking at something on facebook on his phone when a car screeched to a halt and that Psycho Dude jumped out.
... and now the existence of this thread finally surfaced and I had to bite my lip to stop laughing (because it'd hurt with a couple of cracked ribs).
So he was SOCMOB when this dude....
Actually, he really *was*.
The nutjob accused him of laughing at him and wasn't listening to reason and then swung a bottle at him but staggered and knocked the bottom of it off on a tree so a chunk caught him on the temple. Tim kept going backwards and was dialling 999 (911 equivalent). As Tim was running out of street, psycho got annoyed at not connecting any blows and told him to try and punch him. Tim was getting annoyed so took his one and only swing at Nutjob.
Nutjob went down hard and bounced back up! He complained that Tim hadn't waited for him to be ready!
I have had time to come to love the logic of such people during my brief sojourn in the traumatic part of the health system.
It turns out that nutjob had a couple of passengers and they came sprinting down the road to drag him away at this point.
Tim was still talking to emergency services.
Nutjob broke free and sprinted as fast as Tim had ever seen anyone run at him. Tim did the sensible thing and sidestepped. Nutjob kept moving and went through a pyracantha hedge and face first into an oak tree.
Tim was a bit concerned because he hadn't intended this so went to check that psycho was OK and on the phone asked for an ambulance to be added and headed in through the hedge to check psycho was alive.
Then his mates (friends) arrived. They decided that our Tim had had enough, was going to beat the hell out of psycho and set about punching and kicking him. He had had enough and was sober. This didn't go well for them. The police turned up about a minute later.
All 3 had been taking "Speed" and drinking. So EtOH mixed with amphetamines makes a bad mix that can lead to psychosis.
Fast forward 2 days. Acute care ward. Psycho is in the next area to mine and still causing trouble. I'm stitched up and am loaded up with quite a bit of plaster of paris equivalent.
Psycho shouts out that since he hit the buzzer 30 seconds ago and nobody has come he's going to **** the bed.
I'm not supposed to be out of bed yet but since I'm actually kinda physically fit and coordinated and can handle pain and... *oh yeah had to promise to admit to something hurting damned clever doctor promising chocolate!*
I wheeled around the corner.
"You slowed down my treatment in ER"
"What you going to do about it you flid?"
Not sure what flid is.
#Pushes him back down onto his performance art.
"Now, You have a choice. You destroyed this sheet and are covered in your own ****. Getting cleaned up is *not* my problem. You can ask really nicely and be pleasant to the staff or I can.. oh look I unlocked your phone from the smear patterns.... I can ring your mum and tell her all about it.
psycho: you *******************************************************8
Me: Hello is that Mrs Psycho mum?
Urban Dictionary knows all: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flid
(Two main meanings, apparently, one US and one UK. The UK one seems appropriate.)
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Well the Crack thing is that, depending on how much more oxygen a person need, can be anywhere from 1.5 times more oxygen then what is in the atmospher up to pure oxygen. So any flames and combustables are going to go up quick. Apparently the curtains caught fire. So he had possestion of crack, disturbuting crack, and even arson if the DA thinks they can get it to stick. Police don't like it when you set fire to ERs. And the con. Well the Dealers room wasn't open yet so there was a line for it that went about half a block long. As I said one of the largest anime cons in the US.O.O
well this escalated quickly...wow... I mean-over 100?? that is off the scale man
I'd be like - WORTH IT
at least after this #insaneantigenicconditioning you won't be getting autoimmune diseases haha. House will be disappoint
Warwick: Your tale is just epic. There is no other word for it. The fact that after your acute truck exposure you did not crawl onto the edge of the road and scream at passing motorists 'have mercy on a dying man! oh the humanity'
but self-presented on a bike right up to the admissions desk... 😎
I honestly don't see how that could be arson. Isn't arson premeditated? I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to set the ER on fire; that part at least was (probably) an accident.
Well no, I'd imagine not!
There's a saying for that. It's something like "throw the book at 'em and see what sticks."
Yeah. I bet he's got prior offenses going for him too. They'll be pretty eager to lock him up!
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The arson charge was kinda a "YOU WOUND UP SETTING FIRE TO AN ICU! YOU ****ING IDIOT!" Moment. Probably will plea down that one. For bonus points, he had stashed his gun in an hospital bathroom after the fire as he knew the police wouldn't like that. And he sent his friend into the burn unit on top of the original reason for being in the ICU.
Jesus. He's a one-man crime spree! Unbelievable!
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longpost is long
that escalated something hardcore...
the epicness continues!!
(regarding your post from before, I mean that it's a wonder you managed to cycle all those kilometers and miles when you weren't "actually" fit to stand... also amazed none had stopped you or summoned an ambulance to intercept you O.O)
your prose style...
'The strapped down psycho got put somewhere on the other side of a door while the blood test results came back to find out what he was on.'
oh where do I begin
'a car screeched to a halt and that Psycho Dude jumped out.'
...which meant he was the driver!!!
Tim Vic Odin's noble sacrifice may have prevented fiery vehicular death for circa half a dozen people!!
*oh yeah had to promise to admit to something hurting damned clever doctor promising chocolate!*
wow
that is the anti drug-seeker model of patient-doctor interaction!! 😀
'Getting cleaned up is *not* my problem'
awww why did you have to stop being good guy greg? you should have offered to clean & change him, like like mama psycho used to🤣
'oh look I unlocked your phone from the smear patterns....'
that implies... you freed the phone from the ****-smears... just by unlocking it? man there's an app for everything nowadays
'Me: Hello is that Mrs Psycho mum?'
NO
WAY
NO YOU DIDN'T
you did NOT call her
and tell her everything?
about the the eth-amphetamine driving?
and the headbutting contest with the oak?
even the ****??
and you did NOT take a picture and send it????
O.O
that escalated something hardcore...
you can imagine this legendary citizen's thought processes on that day:
what!?! my friend That Other Dude is in hospital?? oh man we used to be Those Two Dudes... we used to just take people DOWN... all those tough motherfuc!ers SOCMOBing back from church... maybe god was trying to tell them something lol
but now That Psycho Dude hasn't come back from his holidays in britain... rumour has it he faceplant an English Oak and now them limeys got him strap down to a hospital bed securely. now I gotta do all the everything myself... and I gotta get into ambush position always, because I only jump people for some reason
whew... back from the dealer's den. lookit that! some crystalline vaporable milk of mercy for my bud in hospital! and my best DIY crack pipe, the Vapor Bomb! he's gonna be so happy!!
(can't forget muh personal firearmz. cos you never know in places like those...)
hi how are you bud! what's that tube? they got you breathing... oxi-jean? that gas what supports combu- man I'm not in the mood for medickey words. here, toke some cracka-ine instead!! yep, from the Vapor Bomb! - here'a light-
AAAAAARGH!!! THE VAPOR BOMB ASPLODE!!!111111 BUD YOU ON FIRE!!! DON'T BE ON FIRE!!!! ARRRTGH GOTTA CLAW AT MOLTEN PLASTIC!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHH I HEAR THE PO-PO!!!11111 Quick! to the bathroom!! Crack in the bin, tool down the toilet!!! OR IS ITTHE OTHER WAY ROUND!!??
but now That Psycho Dude hasn't come back from his holidays in britain... rumour has it he faceplant an English Oak and now them limeys got him strap down to a hospital bed securely. now I gotta do all the everything myself... and I gotta get into ambush position always, because I only jump people for some reason
whew... back from the dealer's den. lookit that! some crystalline vaporable milk of mercy for my bud in hospital! and my best DIY crack pipe, the Vapor Bomb! he's gonna be so happy!!
(can't forget muh personal firearmz. cos you never know in places like those...)
hi how are you bud! what's that tube? they got you breathing... oxi-jean? that gas what supports combu- man I'm not in the mood for medickey words. here, toke some cracka-ine instead!! yep, from the Vapor Bomb! - here'a light-
AAAAAARGH!!! THE VAPOR BOMB ASPLODE!!!111111 BUD YOU ON FIRE!!! DON'T BE ON FIRE!!!! ARRRTGH GOTTA CLAW AT MOLTEN PLASTIC!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHH I HEAR THE PO-PO!!!11111 Quick! to the bathroom!! Crack in the bin, tool down the toilet!!! OR IS ITTHE OTHER WAY ROUND!!??
wow
the epicness continues!!
(regarding your post from before, I mean that it's a wonder you managed to cycle all those kilometers and miles when you weren't "actually" fit to stand... also amazed none had stopped you or summoned an ambulance to intercept you O.O)
your prose style...
'The strapped down psycho got put somewhere on the other side of a door while the blood test results came back to find out what he was on.'
oh where do I begin
'a car screeched to a halt and that Psycho Dude jumped out.'
...which meant he was the driver!!!
Tim Vic Odin's noble sacrifice may have prevented fiery vehicular death for circa half a dozen people!!
*oh yeah had to promise to admit to something hurting damned clever doctor promising chocolate!*
wow
that is the anti drug-seeker model of patient-doctor interaction!! 😀
'Getting cleaned up is *not* my problem'
awww why did you have to stop being good guy greg? you should have offered to clean & change him, like like mama psycho used to
🤣'oh look I unlocked your phone from the smear patterns....'
that implies... you freed the phone from the ****-smears... just by unlocking it? man there's an app for everything nowadays
'Me: Hello is that Mrs Psycho mum?'
NO
WAY
NO YOU DIDN'T
you did NOT call her
and tell her everything?
about the the eth-amphetamine driving?
and the headbutting contest with the oak?
even the ****??
and you did NOT take a picture and send it????
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If you have abdominal pain, particularly epigastric, probably not a good idea to eat a large amount of Arbys, even if the waiting room wait has a long wait time. And if I order an ultrasound of your gallbladder, it's definitely a terrible time to eat an entire Arby's value meal, if you want us to see your gallbladder anyways. (although, eating an entire meal of Arby's + RUQ pain + stones on US is more sensitive than a HIDA scan, apparently).
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Today I learned that it is indeed possible to inject intravenous drugs in your left arm while your right arm has been bandaged after grafting thanks to nec fasc in said right arm 2/2 IVDU just a short time ago. I also learned that it is also possible to get bilateral nec fasc in the upper extremities.
How?? Did the patient inject it with his/her mouth??
Oh now that shows intelligence!
I sense a Darwin Award in this person's future.
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and i thought the guy that got nec fasc from ivda despite visiting his buddy who had to be basically skinned from the waist down (and ended up dying) was dumb.
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You heard I was chronically ill and assumed I was taking "awesome" painkillers?
You stole my Lopressor? And took how many? About ten 100mg tablets?
Now you don't fell well? And you have hives? And your lips are swelling?
Let me call you an ambulance, then we might see if someone has an epi pen.
You stole my Lopressor? And took how many? About ten 100mg tablets?
Now you don't fell well? And you have hives? And your lips are swelling?
Let me call you an ambulance, then we might see if someone has an epi pen.
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hehe I'm blushing 🙈That was amazing!
actually I'll make it collapsible
the escalation just keeps getting better...
now it's all about gangrene consuming the bodies of IVDUsers...
from the waist down!?!
where was he injecting????
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Thighs.hehe I'm blushing 🙈
actually I'll make it collapsible
the escalation just keeps getting better...
now it's all about gangrene consuming the bodies of IVDUsers...
from the waist down!?!
where was he inj.ecting????
What i find really interesting is i teach all ivda abscess patients about the rectal route so they can avoid this in the future (and it is supposed to be a better high for people who aren't hitting veins anymore) but they all think that is so gross they won't do it (yet they will share needles and lick the needle before injecting but they don't consider that gross🙄).
Yeah, that's soooo much grosser than gangrene or flesh-eating bacteria!
Well, they've got to sanitize it somehow!
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Just yesterday I had a conversation with my med school "career adviser" in which I told him I'd learned a lot of useful information about working in clinical practice from the attending forums on SDN. He confidently assured me that the only people who posted on SDN were neurotic premed trolls, and that I'd never find anything worth knowing there. Now I can prove he was wrong.
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I will agree, SDN like all social media can be much like swimming in poo looking for diamonds. But has he read my posts or some of the other quality posters on here? Obviously not, because there's been some very good things posted on here over the years.
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Well, he hadn't read this thread; that's for sure. I've encountered the same reaction among most people who have heard of SDN but never tried it or only used it briefly. I think the problem is that people start in the pre-allo or allopathic med students forums and leave without realizing that the rest of SDN is a much better source of information.
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I'm a nearly 10 year member and longtime mod of SDN (this thread is what actually brought me here, while I was on the IM residency interview trail lo these many years ago) and even I won't venture into the cesspool of Pre-Allo and Allo...nevermind the Lounge.
Even Pre-Allo can have some golden nuggets of advice upon occasion. But they are frequently buried under the internet equivalent of a pile of dog turds.
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waaaaaaaaat then the effect of suppository>subcutaneous? That's kind of sensational (although with enough rectal absorbing area could work)
What really
me is that needle 'sterilization procedure'... the aggression of mouth bacteria (esp cf with relatively herbivorous, bovine butt bacteria)... the reason why IVDA is 'safer' than its own subcutaneous side-effects, or than skinpopping. When popping, the bacteria in the good **** are at a high concentration at injection site, leading to dangerous localized infections (insofar as nec-fasc, with its passion for going places, can be considered 'local'). In the, um, safer IVDA you instead put the infectious load in the form of weak dilute, nascent septicemia, by dissolving it in your entire circulating volume and mixing it well!!! 
and yet...
knowing the licksterilization practice, it surprises me skinpoppers aren't hospitaliszed every third injection or something :O
so the lesson of today is: Rectal Rules Alright
http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/analprobe.gif
(or maybe its Anal Always Awesomer?)
learn something new every day
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"Nearly" 10 years? I thought March 6, 2015, has come and gone!
I was a new RN on a step down floor..older gentleman with foley in place..please call for assist to ambulate, ok? Yes ma'am, I will...hear a crash and a scream..enter to find said gentleman, now sans foley, bleeding like a stuck pig ...stepped on it, of course, not wanting to 'bother' me...so now, he's sitting on the toilet with four of us in there with him..and the fix for this problem?...insert a foley...huh...who knew?
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Rectal Foreign Bodies: they are Serious Business
Ladies, Gentlemen, and Others, gather 'round! For I bring you now a tale of Epic Stupidity, starring Me, and helpfully illustrated For Your Entertainment Value.
Warning: tl;dr ahead!
So, a week ago this past Sunday, Kittendaddy and I were grooming our cats. This entails clipping their claws and brushing them. Some of them are more cooperative than others.
Sammy is always less than cooperative, but last Sunday took the cake. Hell, it took the whole damn bakery. But it was mostlymy fault Kittendaddy's fault.
Anyway, Kittendaddy was holding him down and I was trying to get a mat out of his fur. I was pulling on it really hard and he understandably took serious exception to this (because that hurts!), which he expressed by sinking his vicious fangs into my right forearm.
The Culprit:
He'd bitten me before and the bite had gotten better on its own. So I shrugged it off (Mistake #1).
On Monday (a week ago yesterday), my forearm was red and swollen and very, very painful. So painful that I dipped into the Percocet that Kittendaddy had been prescribed for an upcoming dental procedure. When he got home that night, I told him I thought I needed to go to Urgent Care and get this looked at (Mistake #2).
ETA: Not a mistake because the people there were incompetent, because they totally weren't, not at all!. Rather, it was my own stupid FAIL because I should have gone straight to the ER! Just to clarify!
At Urgent Care, they got all my info, blah blah cat bite blah blah. Even though I was current on my tetanus vaccination, the nurse decided to give me another one anyway. OK, whatev. Better safe than sorry and all that.
Then the doctor came in.
I don't know/remember the doctor's last name, so we'll call him Doctor Zachary, because that is his name (Doctor Zachary, if you're reading this - hi! *waves*).
He took one look at my injury, got a black Sharpie and drew a line around the red part on my arm and wrote the time. Then he told me to go to the ER immediately, because I had cellulitis and the infection was obviously spreading. He even said to Kittendaddy, "Well, I can't tell you to run red lights, but...".
So, off we went to the ER.
I showed the person at the desk my black Sharpie-d arm and how the red infection was now creeping beyond it, and that Doctor Zachary had said this is an emergency and that I needed to be seen immediately. She summoned a doctor, and they took me back and -
Ha ha, just kidding!
No, they made us wait for a couple of hours. But whatever, it's an ER and as I kept reminding Kittendaddy, I was not the only patient there.
Kittendaddy has untreated ADHD and even at the best of times, his patience is very short.
Very, very short (and if you're here from a.f.b-m, this is for you!).
This obviously was not the best of times.
He kept getting up and reminding them that hey, emergency, needs to be seen immediately. He had almost (but not quite) made it to this point
when they took me back to be seen.
Dr. K examined my arm and gave me a choice: IV antibiotics, or go home with a prescription for antibiotics and keep an eye on the arm. He said he felt comfortable doing this because I had not already failed antibiotic therapy for this issue. So I said I'd rather go home than stay for the IV. (Mistake #3). He gave me a prescription for Percocet and one for Augmentin and sent me on my way.
Fun Fact: Augmentin (under the name Clavamox) is pretty much the go-to antibiotic for cats. So yes, they gave me cat pills for my cat bite!
Went home, took antibiotics. Took Percocet. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I had a fever on Tuesday, but I chalked that up to the tetanus shot because those always give me a fever (Mistake #4).
Took antibiotics, took Percocet. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Arm was not getting better.
In fact, it was getting worse.
Still had fever. Have had fever all week.
But I figured that hey, it takes a while for antibiotics to work, right? (Mistake #5)
Fast forward to Saturday, and my arm was in unbearable pain. Back to the ER we went!
It was pretty clear I'd have to stay for IV antibiotics, but it turned out that the doctor whose last name I don't know (she told me to call her Selene/Celine - not sure how she spells it) said she wanted to keep me overnight. Oh, and she wanted to get a sonogram of the arm, because I might have an abscess.
And an abscess would mean that she'd have to go digging in there with a needle to get it out...
Got hooked up to the IV antibiotics.
Waited to be taken for sonogram.
Waited some more.
Waited some more...
Finally got the sonogram!
As I was wiping the Sonogram Goop (Note: Not actual technical term) off my arm, suddenly there was pus. Pus everywhere!
As the pus was spewing out, Kittendaddy (who is in television) recorded some video on his iPhone so we could show Doctor Selene/Celine later. Yes, I still have the video, and yes it is absolutely gross. No, I won't post it to YouTube. I'd post it here (because I know you folks would appreciate it!), but (I think) I'd have to post it on YouTube first? IDK.
Moving on!
They took me to a little room (not a hospital room, but a room in the ER, I think?) to stay the night. They bandaged up my still pus-spewing arm, drew another Black Sharpie Line around the red part, and left me to it. Kittendaddy left around 2:00 AM, because he still had to take care of the cats and walk Meaghan (our beagle) before he could go to bed.
I didn't sleep at all because I still had the IV in my left arm and despite the Percocet, my right arm still hurt like you couldn't believe.
The next morning, Dr. S came by to have a look at the arm. It was still oozing pus, and he said, "Well, we could take a scalpel and open it up some more..."
And my response was, "Yeah, but how about we don't, though?" (Warning: Possibly NSFW image.)
He agreed that as long as it kept oozing pus (ewww!), we could postpone that option. Whew! He said he was going to write me some prescriptions, and he went away.
A couple hours later, a nurse showed up with my prescriptions and papers for me to sign. I called Kittendaddy to come get me (we were told I wouldn't be discharged until later in the day, so I'd told him to go back to bed and get some sleep).
Because I know you'll all want to know anyway, they gave me Levofloxacin 800 MG to be taken once a day, and Clindamycin HCL 300 MG to be taken every six hours. Also more Percocet, but I'm already off that. I didn't even take any Motrin today! And pus is still coming out, but Dr. S said that's what we want, so...
So I'm home now, and since it's no longer painful to type I figured I'd write this up for you guys, who I knew would be an appreciative audience.
tl;dr: Cat Bites Are Serious Business. Even if you're current on your tetanus shot and the bite doesn't look bad or hurt a lot, you should probably get it looked at before 24 hours have passed!
Learn from my stupidity, people!
ETA: Sammy is going to the groomer to be shaved, because I'm done with that crap!
Warning: tl;dr ahead!
So, a week ago this past Sunday, Kittendaddy and I were grooming our cats. This entails clipping their claws and brushing them. Some of them are more cooperative than others.
Sammy is always less than cooperative, but last Sunday took the cake. Hell, it took the whole damn bakery. But it was mostly
Anyway, Kittendaddy was holding him down and I was trying to get a mat out of his fur. I was pulling on it really hard and he understandably took serious exception to this (because that hurts!), which he expressed by sinking his vicious fangs into my right forearm.
The Culprit:
He'd bitten me before and the bite had gotten better on its own. So I shrugged it off (Mistake #1).
On Monday (a week ago yesterday), my forearm was red and swollen and very, very painful. So painful that I dipped into the Percocet that Kittendaddy had been prescribed for an upcoming dental procedure. When he got home that night, I told him I thought I needed to go to Urgent Care and get this looked at (Mistake #2).
ETA: Not a mistake because the people there were incompetent, because they totally weren't, not at all!. Rather, it was my own stupid FAIL because I should have gone straight to the ER! Just to clarify!
At Urgent Care, they got all my info, blah blah cat bite blah blah. Even though I was current on my tetanus vaccination, the nurse decided to give me another one anyway. OK, whatev. Better safe than sorry and all that.
Then the doctor came in.
I don't know/remember the doctor's last name, so we'll call him Doctor Zachary, because that is his name (Doctor Zachary, if you're reading this - hi! *waves*).
He took one look at my injury, got a black Sharpie and drew a line around the red part on my arm and wrote the time. Then he told me to go to the ER immediately, because I had cellulitis and the infection was obviously spreading. He even said to Kittendaddy, "Well, I can't tell you to run red lights, but...".
So, off we went to the ER.
I showed the person at the desk my black Sharpie-d arm and how the red infection was now creeping beyond it, and that Doctor Zachary had said this is an emergency and that I needed to be seen immediately. She summoned a doctor, and they took me back and -
Ha ha, just kidding!
No, they made us wait for a couple of hours. But whatever, it's an ER and as I kept reminding Kittendaddy, I was not the only patient there.
Kittendaddy has untreated ADHD and even at the best of times, his patience is very short.
Very, very short (and if you're here from a.f.b-m, this is for you!).
This obviously was not the best of times.
He kept getting up and reminding them that hey, emergency, needs to be seen immediately. He had almost (but not quite) made it to this point
when they took me back to be seen.Dr. K examined my arm and gave me a choice: IV antibiotics, or go home with a prescription for antibiotics and keep an eye on the arm. He said he felt comfortable doing this because I had not already failed antibiotic therapy for this issue. So I said I'd rather go home than stay for the IV. (Mistake #3). He gave me a prescription for Percocet and one for Augmentin and sent me on my way.
Fun Fact: Augmentin (under the name Clavamox) is pretty much the go-to antibiotic for cats. So yes, they gave me cat pills for my cat bite!
Went home, took antibiotics. Took Percocet. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I had a fever on Tuesday, but I chalked that up to the tetanus shot because those always give me a fever (Mistake #4).
Took antibiotics, took Percocet. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Arm was not getting better.
In fact, it was getting worse.
Still had fever. Have had fever all week.
But I figured that hey, it takes a while for antibiotics to work, right? (Mistake #5)
Fast forward to Saturday, and my arm was in unbearable pain. Back to the ER we went!
It was pretty clear I'd have to stay for IV antibiotics, but it turned out that the doctor whose last name I don't know (she told me to call her Selene/Celine - not sure how she spells it) said she wanted to keep me overnight. Oh, and she wanted to get a sonogram of the arm, because I might have an abscess.
And an abscess would mean that she'd have to go digging in there with a needle to get it out...
Got hooked up to the IV antibiotics.
Waited to be taken for sonogram.
Waited some more.
Waited some more...
Finally got the sonogram!
As I was wiping the Sonogram Goop (Note: Not actual technical term) off my arm, suddenly there was pus. Pus everywhere!
As the pus was spewing out, Kittendaddy (who is in television) recorded some video on his iPhone so we could show Doctor Selene/Celine later. Yes, I still have the video, and yes it is absolutely gross. No, I won't post it to YouTube. I'd post it here (because I know you folks would appreciate it!), but (I think) I'd have to post it on YouTube first? IDK.
Moving on!
They took me to a little room (not a hospital room, but a room in the ER, I think?) to stay the night. They bandaged up my still pus-spewing arm, drew another Black Sharpie Line around the red part, and left me to it. Kittendaddy left around 2:00 AM, because he still had to take care of the cats and walk Meaghan (our beagle) before he could go to bed.
I didn't sleep at all because I still had the IV in my left arm and despite the Percocet, my right arm still hurt like you couldn't believe.
The next morning, Dr. S came by to have a look at the arm. It was still oozing pus, and he said, "Well, we could take a scalpel and open it up some more..."
And my response was, "Yeah, but how about we don't, though?" (Warning: Possibly NSFW image.)
He agreed that as long as it kept oozing pus (ewww!), we could postpone that option. Whew! He said he was going to write me some prescriptions, and he went away.
A couple hours later, a nurse showed up with my prescriptions and papers for me to sign. I called Kittendaddy to come get me (we were told I wouldn't be discharged until later in the day, so I'd told him to go back to bed and get some sleep).
Because I know you'll all want to know anyway, they gave me Levofloxacin 800 MG to be taken once a day, and Clindamycin HCL 300 MG to be taken every six hours. Also more Percocet, but I'm already off that. I didn't even take any Motrin today! And pus is still coming out, but Dr. S said that's what we want, so...
So I'm home now, and since it's no longer painful to type I figured I'd write this up for you guys, who I knew would be an appreciative audience.
tl;dr: Cat Bites Are Serious Business. Even if you're current on your tetanus shot and the bite doesn't look bad or hurt a lot, you should probably get it looked at before 24 hours have passed!
Learn from my stupidity, people!
ETA: Sammy is going to the groomer to be shaved, because I'm done with that crap!
Last edited:
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^^
You can say what you want about cats, but my dog never made pus come out of my arm.
You can say what you want about cats, but my dog never made pus come out of my arm.
One of the nurses I met on my Epic Journey of Fail told me about her husband. Their dog bit him, and the dog's teeth went into his bone (and so did the resulting infection!). He was in the hospital on IV antibiotics for a while for that.
So never say never!
Last edited:
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Ladies, Gentlemen, and Others, gather 'round! For I bring you now a tale of Epic Stupidity, starring Me, and helpfully illustrated For Your Entertainment Value.
Warning: tl;dr ahead!.
So, a week ago this past Sunday, Kittendaddy and I were grooming our cats. This entails clipping their claws and brushing them. Some of them are more cooperative than others.
Sammy is always less than cooperative, but last Sunday took the cake. Hell, it took the whole damn bakery. But it was mostlymy faultKittendaddy's fault.
Anyway, Kittendaddy was holding him down and I was trying to get a mat out of his fur. I was pulling on it really hard and he understandably took serious exception to this (because that hurts!), which he expressed by sinking his vicious fangs into my right forearm.
The Culprit:
He'd bitten me before and the bite had gotten better on its own. So I shrugged it off (Mistake #1).
On Monday (a week ago yesterday), my forearm was red and swollen and very, very painful. So painful that I dipped into the Percocet that Kittendaddy had been prescribed for an upcoming dental procedure. When he got home that night, I told him I thought I needed to go to Urgent Care and get this looked at (Mistake #2).
At Urgent Care, they got all my info, blah blah cat bite blah blah. Even though I was current on my tetanus vaccination, the nurse decided to give me another one anyway. OK, whatev. Better safe than sorry and all that.
Then the doctor came in.
I don't know/remember the doctor's last name, so we'll call him Doctor Zachary, because that is his name (Doctor Zachary, if you're reading this - hi! *waves*).
He took one look at my injury, got a black Sharpie and drew a line around the red part on my arm and wrote the time. Then he told me to go to the ER immediately, because I had cellulitis and the infection was obviously spreading. He even said to Kittendaddy, "Well, I can't tell you to run red lights, but...".
So, off we went to the ER.
I showed the person at the desk my black Sharpie-d arm and how the red infection was now creeping beyond it, and that Doctor Zachary had said this is an emergency and that I needed to be seen immediately. She summoned a doctor, and they took me back and -
Ha ha, just kidding!
No, they made us wait for a couple of hours. But whatever, it's an ER and as I kept reminding Kittendaddy, I was not the only patient there.
Kittendaddy has untreated ADHD and even at the best of times, his patience is very short.
Very, very short (and if you're here from a.f.b-m, this is for you!).
This obviously was not the best of times.
He kept getting up and reminding them that hey, emergency, needs to be seen immediately. He had almost (but not quite) made it to this point
Dr. K examined my arm and gave me a choice: IV antibiotics, or go home with a prescription for antibiotics and keep an eye on the arm. He said he felt comfortable doing this because I had not already failed antibiotic therapy for this issue. So I said I'd rather go home than stay for the IV. (Mistake #3). He gave me a prescription for Percocet and one for Augmentin and sent me on my way.
Fun Fact: Augmentin (under the name Clavamox) is pretty much the go-to antibiotic for cats. So yes, they gave me cat pills for my cat bite!
Went home, took antibiotics. Took Percocet. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I had a fever on Tuesday, but I chalked that up to the tetanus shot because those always give me a fever (Mistake #4).
Took antibiotics, took Percocet. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Arm was not getting better.
In fact, it was getting worse.
Still had fever. Have had fever all week.
But I figured that hey, it takes a while for antibiotics to work, right? (Mistake #5)
Fast forward to Saturday, and my arm was in unbearable pain. Back to the ER we went!
It was pretty clear I'd have to stay for IV antibiotics, but it turned out that the doctor whose last name I don't know (she told me to call her Selene/Celine - not sure how she spells it) said she wanted to keep me overnight. Oh, and she wanted to get a sonogram of the arm, because I might have an abscess.
And an abscess would mean that she'd have to go digging in there with a needle to get it out...
Got hooked up to the IV antibiotics.
Waited to be taken for sonogram
Waited some more.
Waited some more...
Finally got the sonogram!
As I was wiping the Sonogram Goop (Note: Not actual technical term) off my arm, suddenly there was pus. Pus .everywhere.!
As the pus was spewing out, Kittendaddy (who is in television) recorded some video on his iPhone so we could show Doctor Selene/Celine later. Yes, I still have the video, and yes it is absolutely gross. No, I won't post it to YouTube. I'd post it here (because I know you folks would appreciate it!), but (I think) I'd have to post it on YouTube first? IDK.
Moving on!
They took me to a little room (not a hospital room, but a room in the ER, I think?) to stay the night. They bandaged up my still pus-spewing arm, drew another Black Sharpie Line around the red part, and left me to it. Kittendaddy left around 2:00 AM, because he still had to take care of the cats and walk Meaghan (our beagle) before he could go to bed.
I didn't sleep at all because I still had the IV in my left arm and despite the Percocet, my right arm still hurt like you couldn't believe.
The next morning, Dr. S came by to have a look at the arm. It was still oozing pus, and he said, "Well, we could take a scalpel and open it up some more..."
And my response was, "Yeah, but how about we don't, though?" (Warning: Possibly NSFW image.)
He agreed that as long as it kept oozing pus (ewww!), we could postpone that option. Whew! He said he was going to write me some prescriptions, and he went away.
A couple hours later, a nurse showed up with my prescriptions and papers for me to sign. I called Kittendaddy to come get me (we were told I wouldn't be discharged until later in the day, so I'd told him to go back to bed and get some sleep).
Because I know you'll all want to know anyway, they gave me Levofloxacin 800 MG to be taken once a day, and Clindamycin HCL 300 MG to be taken every six hours. Also more Percocet, but I'm already off that. I didn't even take any Motrin today! And pus is still coming out, but Dr. S said that's what we want, so...
So I'm home now, and since it's no longer painful to type I figured I'd write this up for you guys, who I knew would be an appreciative audience.
tl;dr: Cat Bites Are Serious Business. Even if you're current on your tetanus shot and the bite doesn't look bad or hurt a lot, you should probably get it looked at before 24 hours have passed!
Learn from my stupidity, people!
ETA: Sammy is going to the groomer to be shaved, because I'm done with that crap!
.
Birdstrike's Undeniable Rule of Emergency Medicine # 891-
Fluffy can brush out his own damn mat in his fur. Okay? Cats' tongues feel like brushes for a reason.
'Nother life saved. [emoji4]
LOL! It turns out that sometimes their tongues just aren't up to that job. That's why God made groomers! And Sammy is going to the groomer to get shaved, because to hell with this crap! 🙄
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You can upload it to Youtube and set the privacy to "Unlisted" - that way, anyone with the link can view it, but it won't show up in searches to gross out those with weak stomachs.
Believe it or not, I'm in another hospital right now! Kitten Mother-In-Law (who is 97 and has dementia) is in the hospital for a lung issue. We're hoping she'll go home tomorrow, but the infectious disease doctor has to come by and see what's what.
So when I get a chance, I'll upload the vid. I don't know how soon that will be, though. Stay tuned!
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Hope this finds you doing better!
As a current animal keeper/former vet tech, I can tell you cat bites go nasty faster than just about anything else.
Thanks! I'm feeling much better now, believe me. At some point, I'll upload the pus-spewing vid, but I'm not sure when. 😛
Edited because "pus", not "puss"! 😀
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