Q: What would you do if you were not able to attend this or any other med school?
A: Kidnap and murder a rising intern, then steal their identity. I'd prefer EM, but any single female with an estranged family will do.
Q: Since medical training is a long process, have you thought about your plans for a family?
A: Mrrrrowwrr...HISSS! *claws*
A: I ate a baby once.
A: Well, my clock is ticking, and illegal questions do turn me on - how 'bout it, hot stuff?
A: No family for me. I don't like people.
A: Once I finish my derm residency, I'll move to Hollywood, where I'll meet a struggling 24-year-old actor/waiter named Henrique. After my exhausting six-hour day treating the acne of rich children, he will massage my back with his muscular hands, then perform handstand push-ups while scantily clad. In return, I will finance a designer wardrobe for his auditions and wink at his heroin habit...wait, erm, oops...that's what my FRIEND wants, right, but I'm more interested in translational research...
Q: As you know, we could fill our class with 4.0/38 students. What makes you special enough to deserve a spot?
A: Listen, fool. I'm a biohacker....spent years training with the best. My houseplants do tricks. And I know where you live. So unless you want to wake up with an ear growing out where your gonads used to be, you'd better make sure the committee knows why. Got it?
Q: What is your opinion of physician-assisted suicide?
A: Sounds like fun! I can't wait.
A: I'm pretty sure the guy I shadowed did that a few times. But only once was on purpose.
) "Why yes doctor, I am Swedish and no I don't jump rope." 
