USMLE path for an IMG, can I do it?

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Here is my story , I am an IMG that graduated in October 2020. Our program is basically 6 years. 3 years of basic sciences and 3 years of clinical rotations.

I graduated from the best Uni in my country, it’s really hard to enter there and nearly every graduate end up doing residency and fellowships in the US.

During the first 3 years I was at the top of my class in many subjects , was one of the best students…. At the 4th year everything started to change , my loved one was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis , had family issues , and I tried to pull everyone and everything together and ignored all my studies and even rotations for 3 months then the final nail in the coffin struck , my grandma passed away , she’s the one who raised and took care of me all of my life ….. Severe depression hit me so hard and it was a cumulative and destructive effect that continued and progressed for the next 3 years! I did not study, I don’t even know how I graduated, during my exams I would recall stuff from the basic years to answer questions and I passed, but I did bad in Internal medicine and surgery, I barely passed in those clerkships but was fine in IM minors( cardiology , gastroenterology, hematology)… neurology, peds, ob/Gyn…. Overall I graduated with a very good score , I have no ******* idea how , but basically ended up with zero science. I even tried to take a gap year 3 time in the 4th, 5th, and even 6th and final year …. Due to my condition, but my family refused… I graduated eventually, and refused to take pictures for or even attend the virtual graduation ceremony.

I still suffer from depression and anxiety that is debilitating, and I sought medical treatment and I’m getting better. I have no confidence in myself whatsoever, people around me always say that I underestimate myself…. But I really lack a lot , a lot …. I feel I shouldn’t be a doctor. But here I am..

So now it is time to compensate for the past 4 years and get back on my feet… better late than Never.

I started researching the IMG pathway to the US and its requirements: the steps, USCE, research experience, LOR…etc.

I’m thinking of following that path, I can secure a residency in my country after I finish studying, so might as well study for the steps as well, especially step 2 ck which helps whether I want to continue here ( much shorter pathway) or go to the US, and I know I need a tremendous amount of hardwork and time to compensate for what I missed.

I have like 3-4 years of preparation ahead. I want to focus on step 2 ck the most and will allocate at least 2 years of preparation for it with 4-6 hrs per day , and 6-9 in dedicated period. I’m only interested in internal medicine/ peds/ neurology. I’m scared though from pursuing this journey, scared I might not get high scores , scared of not being a great doctor like my 4 brothers and father who are board certified in various specialties from various countries like the UK, Canada, and Germany.

I am scared of being a doctor…. I don’t know what to do, so I came to this place to seek advice from people who would prepare for a longer time , Suffered hardships…. Anyone with an honest advice.
 
I wonder whether it would be better to just focus on securing a residency in your home country and work on your mental health. I would be worried by adding additional stressors, and preparing for a residency in the US is a long and stressful road ahead. Even if everything works out perfectly and you end up with USCE, great letters, and amazing step scores, I would be worried that matching will be harder for your with your history of gap years. I sense a lot of pressure from your family environment, and I think it would also be important to figure out whether being a physician and seeing patients makes you happy. There are many other things you can do with your degree that may end up being a better fit for you.
 
Here is my story , I am an IMG that graduated in October 2020. Our program is basically 6 years. 3 years of basic sciences and 3 years of clinical rotations.

I graduated from the best Uni in my country, it’s really hard to enter there and nearly every graduate end up doing residency and fellowships in the US.

During the first 3 years I was at the top of my class in many subjects , was one of the best students…. At the 4th year everything started to change , my loved one was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis , had family issues , and I tried to pull everyone and everything together and ignored all my studies and even rotations for 3 months then the final nail in the coffin struck , my grandma passed away , she’s the one who raised and took care of me all of my life ….. Severe depression hit me so hard and it was a cumulative and destructive effect that continued and progressed for the next 3 years! I did not study, I don’t even know how I graduated, during my exams I would recall stuff from the basic years to answer questions and I passed, but I did bad in Internal medicine and surgery, I barely passed in those clerkships but was fine in IM minors( cardiology , gastroenterology, hematology)… neurology, peds, ob/Gyn…. Overall I graduated with a very good score , I have no ******* idea how , but basically ended up with zero science. I even tried to take a gap year 3 time in the 4th, 5th, and even 6th and final year …. Due to my condition, but my family refused… I graduated eventually, and refused to take pictures for or even attend the virtual graduation ceremony.

I still suffer from depression and anxiety that is debilitating, and I sought medical treatment and I’m getting better. I have no confidence in myself whatsoever, people around me always say that I underestimate myself…. But I really lack a lot , a lot …. I feel I shouldn’t be a doctor. But here I am..

So now it is time to compensate for the past 4 years and get back on my feet… better late than Never.

I started researching the IMG pathway to the US and its requirements: the steps, USCE, research experience, LOR…etc.

I’m thinking of following that path, I can secure a residency in my country after I finish studying, so might as well study for the steps as well, especially step 2 ck which helps whether I want to continue here ( much shorter pathway) or go to the US, and I know I need a tremendous amount of hardwork and time to compensate for what I missed.

I have like 3-4 years of preparation ahead. I want to focus on step 2 ck the most and will allocate at least 2 years of preparation for it with 4-6 hrs per day , and 6-9 in dedicated period. I’m only interested in internal medicine/ peds/ neurology. I’m scared though from pursuing this journey, scared I might not get high scores , scared of not being a great doctor like my 4 brothers and father who are board certified in various specialties from various countries like the UK, Canada, and Germany.

I am scared of being a doctor…. I don’t know what to do, so I came to this place to seek advice from people who would prepare for a longer time , Suffered hardships…. Anyone with an honest advice.
I wonder whether it would be better to just focus on securing a residency in your home country and work on your mental health. I would be worried by adding additional stressors, and preparing for a residency in the US is a long and stressful road ahead. Even if everything works out perfectly and you end up with USCE, great letters, and amazing step scores, I would be worried that matching will be harder for your with your history of gap years. I sense a lot of pressure from your family environment, and I think it would also be important to figure out whether being a physician and seeing patients makes you happy. There are many other things you can do with your degree that may end up being a better fit for you.
I really appreciate your reply, the only thing that I would like to point out that there are no gaps , I finished at time just like the rest of my class, and I‘m in my foundation year now.
 
How would it make you feel any better getting a residency in the US?

Just apply for the residency programs in your home country because I doubt taking USMLEs will make your mental health issues better.