A 222. Wanted to do ENT, I'll be lucky get my MD and match anything now. Actually I don't even deserve to match. I really did give this is my all, I really did. Completed all of Uworld (73% percentile), multiple times I did Pathoma, multiple times I did Sketchy, multiple times I did FA. And for what? A failure. That's all I am in life, a failure. I wish I could give you guys advice on how to study for Step, but you don't want mine. I was a very strong applicant to medical school in every regard, but my low 30s MCAT held me back then. I had to explain myself on every interview. Luckily one good school gave me a chance. In retrospect they shouldn't have. I disgraced my med school, my family, and most of all myself.
I did well the first two years. I have 5 first author publications (real publications, not that case report crap), 7 poster/oral presentations. All that time I spent, all for nothing. Well I take that back, at least I hope it helps the field, the field I'm never going to be a part of. And that's the hardest part, I never will be a part of the field because I just can't take a freaking standardized test to save my life. The best part is that I have an oral presentation on my research at a meeting coming up in a couple of months. I have to figure out how to pull myself together to give this talk to a bunch of academic ENTs, because deep down inside I just feel embarrassed now. Just so embarrassed. I'm even embarrassed to talk to my mentor anymore. The supportive 4th years and residents told me that you aren't your score, but God knows that's just how I (and every residency program) am going to see myself for the next two years. It was the same way with my MCAT score (everything else was good, actually great...but that score defined me and now this score defines me). I purposely never met with my program director here to show interest just in case this happened, and well, it happened.
If I could just give any advice to any 1st or 2nd years reading this (especially if you struggled with standardized tests like I have my whole life), try your hardest. The test is difficult especially if you are stupid like me or aren't a good test taker like me. You don't want to be as broken apart as I am right now. I'm going to keep trying hard on my rotations to honor them and keep writing papers, but I know in my heart that I just ruined my life, plain and simple.
