What is too much to include in the Other Impactful Experiences Essay

[Caligirl2023]

Hi!

This is kind of a personal question and I need guidelines/perspective on what I should or should not include.

From the outside looking in I seem like your typical privileged white girl. I go to a great college and I have a good family who has always financially supported me. I am a cheerleader and people also tend to project certain traits/lifestyles onto college cheerleaders that are often associated with privilege.

However, my life has been full of hardship and trauma that most people would never fathom I have been through. The summer before my sophomore year of college it was revealed to me that my ex (who I dated for a year) had raped my brother a year prior while I was still dating him. My brother didn't have the courage to open up about until that following summer. This entirely turned my world upside down. I was later diagnosed in therapy with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of this life event and a more recent diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have been in therapy consistently for about a year now and I have grown a lot from it and overcome most of my trauma. I managed to keep my grades up through all of this (a 4.0). I also managed to be a support to my brother as he battled through depression, anxiety, and suicide attempts.

It taught me a lot and changed my view of the world entirely. It made me more considerate particularly to those with mental health issues. It made me more reflective. It's made me much more resilient and it has allowed me to prove to myself that I am capable of overcoming whatever may arise in my personal life and continue to pursue my dreams relentlessly.

This is an important part of my story and of the person that I am. I think that it would offer something to contrast what I look like on the surface and to prove that I am committed to this dream. However, it is also a very emotionally charged story and I don't want to overshare or trauma dump...

What are your thoughts? Am I misunderstanding the purpose of this prompt?

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[karaya]

I don't have any expertise here but I think this essay can be done. It requires that you explain how the experience has made you a stronger person. And obviously be sensitive. Such as: because it's his story first, don't show it to anyone in your circles that your brother hasn't already told or expressed consent for.

Personally, I would be hesitant to reveal a mental health diagnosis, since that stigma still exists in the world to some degree.

 

[Darth Doc]

I would be very careful about how you wrote an essay on this topic. It's not that you can't or shouldn't since it is impactful, but you want to leave the reader with a sense of how you've grown in your understanding of mental illness and trauma - rather than having it read like a tabloid article. I'd keep the why about the story as minimal as possible and focus the essay on your experiences supporting your brother and going through therapy yourself. I'd leave out the part about the grades. They'll see your grades in your application. This is not about you and the trauma as much as it is about serving your brother through his trauma. If you focus on you instead of on your brother in this essay, you won't come across positively to someone who only gets a small glimpse of your life through a short essay.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

In general, the answer is that we aren't sure how individual adcoms will use the essay, but it is meant to provide extra insight to interpreting any difficulties in metrics or interruptions in education/work.

In the absence of explicit instructions or suggestions, I would be careful voluntarily disclosing any disabilities or medical issues. The OIE is not a confessional or a psychiatrist's chair (not that the OP is using it that way). That said, presuming permission, you could talk about how you helped your brother through his trauma (similar to how many applicants can talk about caring for a sibling who has a disability or illness), especially if it affected your family (financial stress, parental separation, etc.). Removing your mention of explicit diagnoses, you can see how the story works. I would agree that a more effective response would be something that directly affected you.