fellwynd2
Full Member
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2021
- Messages
- 28
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I apologize for the whiny rant to come. I’ve posted on here before about my inability to decide between psychology and medicine, and I think I’m finally getting to the point where I can’t keep putting the decision off. I’ve finally realized that my ability to not decide is partially based off of my OCD which I thought I’d taken care of through medication and therapy, but am now realizing is still very much a thing. Regardless, I don’t think I have time to do soul searching and treat my OCD before I make my decision, which brings me here. I find within a given month, week, or even day, I will flip flop between my decision to go into psychology or go into medicine, and that kind of thinking is not sustainable, leading me to become more stressed and depressed.
I think one of my big points of indecision is regarding the fact that I really enjoy biology and neuroscience, and I worry that going into psychology, even neuropsychology, won’t let me engage with that part of myself. My main interest in undergrad was neuroscience, and I would’ve majored in it in addition to/maybe instead of psychology if it were offered. The idea of studying social and personality psychology which don’t touch on biology (to my knowledge) at all just doesn’t appeal to me. In undergrad I avoided it like the plague, and all of my electives were stuff like psychopharmacology, neural development, and neurobiology when I could have taken abnormal and developmental if I would have chosen that. I understand that psychology is a science and behavior is an observable phenomena which can be analyzed objectively, but I want to understand the nuts and bolts of it, and I’m not sure I can do that as a clinical psychologist. I want to study neuroanatomy, I want to actually touch a brain, I want to understand how biology affects behavior, and I don’t know if doing clinical psychology will give that to me. I want to study how the brain relates to behavior, not just behavior alone and not just the cellular neuroscience alone. If I could be a clinical neuroscientist or something, using my knowledge of the brain to affect behavioral changes through TMS and CBT, that’s probably what I’d do. And as for neuropsychology I feel like neuropsychological assessment wouldn’t give me the “working with the brain” feeling that I really want, and I don’t think I’d enjoy doing assessments all day. I’ve tried to find literature on how neuropsychological assessments are directly related to brain activity (this test assesses functionality of the prefrontal cortex/the ventral object recognition pathway/something else like that) and I couldn’t- and I honestly feel like seeing how these assessments directly relate to brain activity could help.
So I guess that’s where I stand. I don’t want to be a psychiatrist and shovel meds in mouths the majority of the time (gross oversimplification I know), I don’t want to be a clinical neuropsychologist where I spend my time doing neuropsychological assessments where I feel like I don’t directly impact the brain of the person at all, and I don’t want to be a neurologist and work 60-80 hour weeks and let my relationships crumble to not really be involved in the process of treating behavioral issues. I want to treat behavior and brain function through behavioral neuroscience methods but I don’t know the right way to do that. I’m not even sure I know what methods I want to use quite honestly, I’m just so confused. I even thought about going and being a PA but I realized I like the idea of being an expert on the brain and behavior more than I like the idea of actually helping people, and now I just don’t know anything about my priorities. I’m sorry to be whining on this forum but I really don’t know where else to turn. I’m starting to think I myself need to get psychological help before I can make these decisions, but the idea of putting it off more just makes me spiral into existential issues. Again, I’m sorry to post cringe on this forum, but I just would really appreciate some guidance.
Thank you all.
I think one of my big points of indecision is regarding the fact that I really enjoy biology and neuroscience, and I worry that going into psychology, even neuropsychology, won’t let me engage with that part of myself. My main interest in undergrad was neuroscience, and I would’ve majored in it in addition to/maybe instead of psychology if it were offered. The idea of studying social and personality psychology which don’t touch on biology (to my knowledge) at all just doesn’t appeal to me. In undergrad I avoided it like the plague, and all of my electives were stuff like psychopharmacology, neural development, and neurobiology when I could have taken abnormal and developmental if I would have chosen that. I understand that psychology is a science and behavior is an observable phenomena which can be analyzed objectively, but I want to understand the nuts and bolts of it, and I’m not sure I can do that as a clinical psychologist. I want to study neuroanatomy, I want to actually touch a brain, I want to understand how biology affects behavior, and I don’t know if doing clinical psychology will give that to me. I want to study how the brain relates to behavior, not just behavior alone and not just the cellular neuroscience alone. If I could be a clinical neuroscientist or something, using my knowledge of the brain to affect behavioral changes through TMS and CBT, that’s probably what I’d do. And as for neuropsychology I feel like neuropsychological assessment wouldn’t give me the “working with the brain” feeling that I really want, and I don’t think I’d enjoy doing assessments all day. I’ve tried to find literature on how neuropsychological assessments are directly related to brain activity (this test assesses functionality of the prefrontal cortex/the ventral object recognition pathway/something else like that) and I couldn’t- and I honestly feel like seeing how these assessments directly relate to brain activity could help.
So I guess that’s where I stand. I don’t want to be a psychiatrist and shovel meds in mouths the majority of the time (gross oversimplification I know), I don’t want to be a clinical neuropsychologist where I spend my time doing neuropsychological assessments where I feel like I don’t directly impact the brain of the person at all, and I don’t want to be a neurologist and work 60-80 hour weeks and let my relationships crumble to not really be involved in the process of treating behavioral issues. I want to treat behavior and brain function through behavioral neuroscience methods but I don’t know the right way to do that. I’m not even sure I know what methods I want to use quite honestly, I’m just so confused. I even thought about going and being a PA but I realized I like the idea of being an expert on the brain and behavior more than I like the idea of actually helping people, and now I just don’t know anything about my priorities. I’m sorry to be whining on this forum but I really don’t know where else to turn. I’m starting to think I myself need to get psychological help before I can make these decisions, but the idea of putting it off more just makes me spiral into existential issues. Again, I’m sorry to post cringe on this forum, but I just would really appreciate some guidance.
Thank you all.