I understand that you were super uncomfortable with the whole thing, but I really think you should consider that you might have interpreted this in an incorrect and really quite harmful fashion.
I think being sexually "assaulted" takes the hazing on rotations to a new low.
Okay, for starters: at the absolute worst, this is sexual harassment. Calling it sexual assault (even with the quotation mark qualifiers) is severely exaggerating the situation, even if you were interpreting it correctly.
So we were rolling a patient over to remove the backboard when without a verbal prompt to move closer to the stretcher my senior resident takes the back of his hand (I know its supposed to be less secual) and pushes my left ass cheek against the side of the stretcher in a slow and purposeful movement that clearly wasnt intended for his stated reasons.
"Stated reasons"? What was this statement? And it would be incredibly unusual for someone to touch you with the back of their hand. Ask any woman who's ever been groped, that's not the part of the hand they're using.
My pelvis was maybe 6 inches from the edge of the stretcher as I was waiting for the person next to me to line up. when he pushed me with one cheek, rather than say my back or maybe just telling me to move closer I almost fell over the patient. And he waited till everyone was lined up and did it out of sight.
Regardless of if YOU thought you were close enough, he may have had a different preference (I'm sure you've met surgeons who are anal about everything being done in a very particular way). Did you consider that he might have done it non-verbally and out sight to avoid embarrassing you by correcting you in front of your peers? In any case, shoving you nearly off-balance would also be a really unusual form of flirtation (unless he was a six year-old boy, in which case he may also have put a spider in your lunchbox).
Im not gonna say anything because Im over it and its not like he raped me and left me alone from then on. But it was pretty goddamn humiliating on top of all the other accepted typical crap med students get.
No apology or acknowledgement of the event in the 16 hours left in our shift afterwards. Even when we were in the elevator alone. Which I dont need and is smart on his part maybe but Im still seeing this guy around alot and its starting to piss me off the more I see him and think about it.
Its over and done with for me. I never said I was running to a director.
Obviously not over it, given the anger and defensiveness you're showing. And how much longer were you on this rotation with him? I really doubt that he was interested in coming on to you that he would make one attempt and drop it. The reason actual sexual harassment is so painful is that it is oppressive and makes the workplace unbearable. In any case, I'm happy to hear you didn't say anything.
And i barely said 2 sentences to him before this or made eye contact where he could possibly think I was inviting this. I'm a straight guy and he's gay from what I gathered from his affect before and after he touched my ass. Thats just to put the story in context and being gay doesnt equate to a sexual deviant from my stating this. Lots of gay and diversity where I go to school which i always and still appreciate.
You see, this was the part where your post started to make sense. You thought he was gay. This made you uncomfortable. The back of his hand touched the back of your butt, and in your discomfort the only interpretation you could see was that this was intentional and he was coming on to you. Followed by examples to prove that no, of course not, I'm totally fine with gay people, this is a totally unbiased evaluation of what happened, why do you ask? (In psych they call that 'reaction formation'.) (In the military, it used to be called 'don't ask, don't tell'.)
What a stupid ******* too as he graduates soon and if I said one word his job prospects and definitely fellowships if hes pursuing would be over.
You are absolutely correct. Allegations of sexual harassment or "assault" can ruin your career. Which is why you've got to make sure that this is really what's going on. This does not appear to be the case.
Clearly, as this is the worst thing that's ever happened to you there.
There was no mistaking it and it was based on his affect in retrospect of him ok not "grabbing" but back handing my ass slowly. Are you seriously splitting hairs?
Yes. One version of that statement fits with sexual harassment. The other does not.
I was just trying to vent and maybe allow others.
I was hoping that's what this thread would be! And I suppose you are venting, but really, it seems like you're doing so here because on some level you know that this is BS and you would be laughed at for bringing it up to the program director (in pysch they call this 'displacement'). And it really seems like this thread is more for you than anyone else, though I can imagine putting the 'hey let's all share' label on it makes you feel better about it. (Psychiatrists call that 'rationalizing'.)
It was the most unituitive way to direct someones body for purposes other than making a move. And yea he totally gave me a look. I know I'm irresistable so I'm giving him a pass, but if I simulated the move on someone else or made a youtube video with a mannequin people would be like yea thats equivalent to grabbing an ass.
The ass punch or whatever was straight sexual with no other motive. And even if it was someone maneuvering me with my left ass cheek unwelcomed it is unacceptable. When the hell does anyone direct somebodys body in the fashion I described. He is just slightly shorter than me, he had to bring himself lower in order to make this move. And he waited to everyone else was situated and couldnt see my back.
On the contrary, it could be a very intuitive way to get you to move, while being (as mentioned above) a really terrible way to come on to you. Was his arm already down? Did he have something in his hand? Keep in mind that an arm down at the side is right at butt-level, and if he's a little shorter it lines up even better. If he realizes just as he's passing behind you that you should be closer, it's actually a very reasonable move, unless touching another guy's butt is a big huge deal. Regardless, I'm looking forward to said YouTube video.
What a piece of work you are huh, thinking guys making sexual innuendos which we do when women arent around has something to do with their sexual attraction to you.
And now I'm assuming we're into your response to the first person to question your story. From what she said, it sounds like she was referring to interacting with a patient who started making a sexually suggestive comment directly to her. Scumbag men do this all the time, and yes, it is a personal attack and it's silly to suggest otherwise.
I was trying to relate and maybe say I can now empathize with the humiliation a women feels when this happens. Though i didnt need the experience to understand how vile and offensive it must be.
Again, I think you're latching onto an experience that women describe, and trying to label your experience as that because it justifies your anger, which is the only expression you seem to be finding for your discomfort. In any case, no, I don't think you get it, at least not entirely.
And patients are not held to the standard of coworkers, a patient making a sexual innuendo (probably nothing to do with u) that you then cry to the attending about would tell them you clearly dont have the capacity to deal with patients.
No, crying about that would be a little wimpy (though it might be justified in cases of serious and/or physical aggression), but she didn't. And both the individual patients and your 'one time with the one resident' fall under the category of random unpleasantness that happens in life, not the institution-level 'my school sucks' thing you're trying to turn this into.
But I'm glad these horrible innuendos you cried to us about on my thread. I had a woman patiet lift her gown to unnecessarily to exhibit her vagina while her leg bandage was being changed by another student. I didnt say crap cause its a patient and apparently she made direct sexual remarks to other students as well. Not even an "innuendo".
Oh my goodness! You saw a part of the human body during your job as someone who works directly with the human body! I admire your restraint in not rushing to immediately notify your director that you were violated. And again, direct sexual comments: obnoxious and uncomfortable, and never something you should continue to tolerate, but fortunately something that most grown-ups have adequate psychological defenses against.
I cant believe the only women who posted replied with a lame cry baby tale about an innuedos. You are probably the least sexually harassed woman alive... Sounds like youre upset you are a chick and have never been so blatantly sexually harassed. Thanks for making me regret venting on an anonymous forum to be insulted and hear your idiotic story. Ugly is still ugly chick, your female gender isnt making you privy to this particular humiliation. Your "blame the victim" mentality is something I expected from a guy.
Okay, here's where you truly flew off the deep end. Really? You're responding as if she was trying to say that she was really scarred by her experiences and that she was crying to her director about these horrible things that have happened. In reality, she was sharing the everyday experience of (real, intentional) sexual harassment that women face, and saying that yeah, it happens, and while it sucks, I'm a professional and it's not too big that I can't handle it. Your interpretation of her response really calls in to question your ability to interpret the intentions of others (such as your resident).
And the personal attacks are both wildly inappropriate and utterly unrelated to any reality that could be read into her post. Really? Look, you posted this and expected women to come flocking in say, 'oh, you poor thing, we completely understand, yes you are justified in your disgust at being so utterly violated.' Instead, they call you on the fact that you're blowing this out of proportion, and you get nasty. Oh, really, she's just wishing she was on the receiving end of more sexual harassment? That the only reason a woman wouldn't agree with you is that she just hasn't experienced the
MAGNITUDE of sexual assault that you have (because obviously she must be ugly), and she's jealous? This is the most arrogant and chauvinistic attitude I've seen in a long time. Again, you're trying to label your experience with one of theirs, and when they say, "uhh, no", you continue attempting to hide in that assumed identity by flipping around the accusation of 'blaming the victim'.
I signficantly explained myself on the gay issue and that it wasnt an issue, but a creep issue. It just has a particular component that is difficult for a guy when its another guy that maybe girls cant appreciate. But I dont need to explain myself to you like im some biggot. I was telling a story that felt incomplete if i left it out. And I dont know what world you are living in where the gay men community doesn't have an affect that can SOMETIMES clue you in to their sexual orientation. My cousins gay and when he was with my sister at a bar he was talking to a dude and when he asked him if my sister was his girlfriend, he totally changed his affect to say no and no woman is.
I'm not saying the affect is "bad" or 100% accurate but saying it doesnt exist at all seems overly politically correct as to be idiotic. It crossed my mind he was gay before based on some aspects of his persona like can happen unintentionally when you meet someone. I didnt even think about it till after the move. Maybe I should have left the affect part out but I was telling the story and reflecting on it and just being honest about what I was thinking.
Again, you're super defensive about the fact that no, I definitely definitely don't have a problem with gay people, no sir, why do you ask? And I'm not sure what point you were trying to make with the story about your gay cousin being mistaken for a straight guy was, but what it seems to tell me is that 'gaydar' is really unreliable. Why should we trust yours?
Im sure once you open your mouth any move a guy put on u in your dreams was instantly regretted. Start your own thread if you want the floor you egocentric loser
Yeah! This is MY thread where only I get to whine (even though I pretended to invite you to do so too)! And everyone needs to agree with me! No, YOU'RE the one who's hyperreactive and ready to accuse someone of sexual harassment at the drop of a hat! (Psych again: this is projection, kids!)
Agreed I missed it.
though when it happened, after the half a second it took me to realize what just took place (and his back hand was still on my ass cause it was there for like a solid 4-5 seconds), we were then moving him off the backboard. And then I just felt red and pathetic. Saying anything about it out loud in front of others was the last thing on my mind. Which now makes me realize why he did it in such a public forum, as I would have if it was just me and him there. Like "hey what the ****".
Actually, sexual harassment is usually more private. The mindset is not "they're not going to like this, therefore I should do it in front of other people so that they can't say anything". It's more, "I'm going to try this in private so that if this person does want me (and why wouldn't they?), we can get it on!" Again, I hear that you were uncomfortable, and as ridiculous as you've been in this thread, you do have the right to
have the feelings you have. I hope you find a healthier and more effective way to
express that.
This now pisses me off more cause that makes me realize it was more deliberate and premeditated then I thought or likely something he has done before. I'm gonna say something to him next time I see him maybe to at least have him know that it was ****ed up and I dont want to read about him in the future doing it to someone else. I was giving him a total pass but he did this before now I bet, which is alot more devious.
You're now extrapolating from an already-flawed assumption (that the way he touched you was deliberate and sexually-intentioned) to an even more ridiculous conclusion (that it was calculated in advance and that he has done this before). Part of me wants you to say something to him, so he can laugh, the misunderstanding can be cleared up, and possibly a surprise plot twist where you find out he's not even gay (whoops). On the other hand, I don't know that I'd want to subject him to a conversation with your irrational, fixed belief that perseverates in spite of evidence to the contrary. (Oh, hey, that's called 'delusion'!)
The program is pretty damn malignant and I actually felt bad for him during m&m today when he got grilled by an attending to a bug.
Well, at least we know you're not burdened with Antisocial Personality Disorder.
...
In conclusion, I really doubt that you were sexually harassed by your resident. There are a number of things that just don't seem to fit the pattern, and there's an alternative explanation that makes a lot more sense. It's like a guy has chest pain associated with a burning feeling, worse with lying down and spicy foods, and better with antacids, but you keep insisting that no, he has chest pain, and the only reason is that it's an MI. Also, gastroenterologists are ugly and jealous or something. But clearly there's some emotional charge to this for you, it appears to be your discomfort around his perceived sexuality, and you're displaying some classic defense mechanisms to deal with it.
I know I've been less than gentle in my (overly long) commentary here. Again, you have the right to be uncomfortable. You do not have the right to make wild, baseless accusations in attempt to deal with it, not here and certainly not to anyone who might have a say in his career. I'm sorry it was weird, and while I'm offended by your attitude, I really do hope you can sort that out, whatever it is.
(End psychiatric case study)
face or something? That changes everything. 
