- Joined
- Mar 13, 2006
- Messages
- 854
- Reaction score
- 7
"Dear trustwomen,
Our computer informs us that you are not worthy of attending this medical school. Canadians have a reputation of kindness, therefore we are kindly sparing you the travel expenses associated with an interview.
Please note that our computer will also screen you out next year. It has calculated that you might reach our GPA cutoff after 240 credits, or eight more years of full-time study (assuming, of course, a consistent 4.0), bringing your total to 480 credits. I'm sure you'll agree that if you really want to be a doctor, sixteen years of undergraduate study is a small price to pay - and besides, you're already halfway there! We look forward to receiving your application in 2014, although then we'll have to factor in whether you can graduate before menopause - we've heard that those hot flashes can really distract from Problem-Based Learning.
Your MCAT score was great, though: congratulations!! See, we're trying to be nice about the whole thing."
Aaaaaand the letter in response to an appeal....
"Dear trustwomen,
No, a human cannot and will not evaluate your file. The computer is almighty and has deemed you unworthy. You say your recent degree's GPA is far above our cutoff? So what? That cannot possibly compensate for the bad grades you got ten years ago. Didn't you read our first letter? We TOLD you how to qualify. What more do you want from us?
Wait - you thought we wanted "life experience" in our students? Mwahahaha! Here's another tip, from the kindness of our hearts: Don't believe everything you read in our brochures. We really want 22-year-olds with 4.0 GPAs and (maybe) a year of hospital volunteering. Silly premed, non-trads are for the States!
Feel free to keep sending us money, but please remember that you cannot beat the machine. BTW, any omission of old degrees/grades in a future application, while virtually guaranteeing your admission, would constitute academic fraud and eventually lead to disaster. So don't try it."
Our computer informs us that you are not worthy of attending this medical school. Canadians have a reputation of kindness, therefore we are kindly sparing you the travel expenses associated with an interview.
Please note that our computer will also screen you out next year. It has calculated that you might reach our GPA cutoff after 240 credits, or eight more years of full-time study (assuming, of course, a consistent 4.0), bringing your total to 480 credits. I'm sure you'll agree that if you really want to be a doctor, sixteen years of undergraduate study is a small price to pay - and besides, you're already halfway there! We look forward to receiving your application in 2014, although then we'll have to factor in whether you can graduate before menopause - we've heard that those hot flashes can really distract from Problem-Based Learning.
Your MCAT score was great, though: congratulations!! See, we're trying to be nice about the whole thing."
Aaaaaand the letter in response to an appeal....
"Dear trustwomen,
No, a human cannot and will not evaluate your file. The computer is almighty and has deemed you unworthy. You say your recent degree's GPA is far above our cutoff? So what? That cannot possibly compensate for the bad grades you got ten years ago. Didn't you read our first letter? We TOLD you how to qualify. What more do you want from us?
Wait - you thought we wanted "life experience" in our students? Mwahahaha! Here's another tip, from the kindness of our hearts: Don't believe everything you read in our brochures. We really want 22-year-olds with 4.0 GPAs and (maybe) a year of hospital volunteering. Silly premed, non-trads are for the States!
Feel free to keep sending us money, but please remember that you cannot beat the machine. BTW, any omission of old degrees/grades in a future application, while virtually guaranteeing your admission, would constitute academic fraud and eventually lead to disaster. So don't try it."