Write your own rejection letter

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Dear patelsnb,

You are too good at calculus II for medical school. We don't appreciate your skills.

But heres a free t-shirt.

Regards,
 
Dear inhiding,

Stay there.

Deanie Poo
 
Dear mdmdt,

While you are still at least two years away from applying to any of our 129 fine institutes of medical education, after a careful 30-second review of your profile picture and postings on the SDN forum we have decided to preemptively reject your application. Moreover, we kindly request that you cease seeking the services of any of our graduates as we strongly feel your continued existence is to the detriment of the medical community and indeed the world at large. Failure to do so will result in legal action and, in all likelihood, euthanasia.

Enclosed please find a glossy, 3-page brochure on the quasi-academic offerings at your local ITT Tech as well as a $200 invoice for the courtesy of this anticipatory rejection letter.

Sincerely,

Each and Every Medical School
 
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Dear Climberak,

No.


Sincerely,
Admissions Committee
 
zahque said:
Dear Zahque:

***** please.

Love,
The Admissions Committee
Click to expand...



THIS IS THE BEST!!! Ive been laughing like crazy for the last one hour, much to the annoyance of the people around me asking "what happened ?"

I just keep seeing this picture of dave chappelle and chris rock arguing with each other....saying only two words : "----- please!! "

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Dear Timothy,

Trust your insecurities. Know that we share your feelings that you are in fact NOT a "smart enough" or "good enough" person to become a physician. All the people who have telling to you the contrary are misleading you into wasting precious years of your life that would be better spent honing your skills and esteem within the McDonalds organization.

We thank you for your interest, but come on, get real.

Sincerely,

Every American Admissions Committee
 
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awww i'd take that person out! 86'ed.

LET said:
Dear LET,

I am sorry to inform you your application has not passed muster with the admissions committee of The Greatest Med School Ever.
We at TGMSE truly enjoyed reading your thoughtfully-written essays. We are kind of impressed with the way you handled your hardship (although I must say, it wasn't all that impressive) and the poignancy of your emotions. You really love medicine, huh? We can tell. Your commitment is admirable.
The question, then, begs to be asked: why talk about these things in your application?? We were hoping for shallow essays mentioning how hard it was to maintain a 4.0 while feeling bad for the African orphans! Or about how your extensive research experience made you realize you want to be more than just a clinician! Certainly NOT actual hardship! You made us laugh, you made us cry...do you really think we want to feel such pedestrian emotions as happiness and sadness? This is TGMSE! Not fluffy puppy school!
It is for this reason (well, your painfully sub-par stats certainly are the MAIN reason, but this is the reason that bugged ME the most) that I reject you. Not the school. Me. I reject YOU. Personally.

Dean of TGMSE.
Click to expand...
 
Dear wolvbb,

We regret to inform you but, we need a favor.

I have a connection to the nigerian government who needs someone to help collect their vast inheritance in a inaccessible USA citizen only bank account. All you have to do is cash this cashiers check, send us 1000$ and you can keep the remaining 500$

Thank you,
Dean McDeany MD, DO, PHD, MS, MPH, PETA, NAACP, Poop, AARP
 
I likes it a lot.

wolvbb said:
Dear wolvbb,

We regret to inform you but, we need a favor.

I have a connection to the nigerian government who needs someone to help collect their vast inheritance in a inaccessible USA citizen only bank account. All you have to do is cash this cashiers check, send us 1000$ and you can keep the remaining 500$

Thank you,
Dean McDeany MD, DO, PHD, MS, MPH, PETA, NAACP, Poop, AARP
Click to expand...
 
Dear papa tr1x,

Your GPA is too low, your MCAT scores are too low, you have irrelevant extracurriculars, and you pretty much bombed the interview. Why would you bother applying to medical school? We appreciate the $75 donation that you supplied along with your application and hope that you enjoyed travelling to visit our school as it probably cost you some money. Good luck with your future endeavors at McDonalds.

-Medical School
 
Heyyyyy! You're gonna be working Micky D's too? I'll see you there! I called FRIES MACHINE!!!



papa tr1x said:
Dear papa tr1x,

Your GPA is too low, your MCAT scores are too low, you have irrelevant extracurriculars, and you pretty much bombed the interview. Why would you bother applying to medical school? We appreciate the $75 donation that you supplied along with your application and hope that you enjoyed travelling to visit our school as it probably cost you some money. Good luck with your future endeavors at McDonalds.

-Medical School
Click to expand...
 
Dear Kaustikos,
NO MEANS PLEASE DON'T

Hilarious office quote, isn't it? But seriously, your application was even funnier. Try harder next time.


That's what she said!

But seriously.


Sincerely,


Dean of Admissions
 
Dear Kaydubz,

In a few days, we would like you to follow these directions:

Go to mailbox. Do not pass Go. Do not collect acceptance letter.

Sincerely,
- Deanopoly
 
Dear Fiko18,

We have good and bad news. The bad news is that we will not be accpeting you to our med school. The good news is that we just saved a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to GEICO.

Sincerly,
AdCom
 
.
 
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ButImLETired said:
...do you really think we want to feel such pedestrian emotions as happiness and sadness? This is TGMSE! Not fluffy puppy school!
Click to expand...

:laugh:

---------------

Dear NA,

While you have decent MCAT and GPA, some of your ECs are, well, illegal in this state.

You wacky Californians.

Feel free to try again next year, but the laws ain’t gonna change anytime soon.

We wish you West Coast success.

Non-Cali Med School.
 
Dr DrChuck,

You are quite aware now that you have been wait-listed at YOUR DREAM MEDICAL SCHOOL. We are pleased to inform you that one spot had opened up. But through a very intense game of eenie meenie miney moe that went on for hours, we NOW regret to inform you that you will not be a member of the class of 2013. Thank you for applying and feel free to try again next year.

Admissions Committee
 
Dear Schoolsucks,

We found your SDN account.

Goodluck,

Every medical school in the country.
 
Dear Greonis,

Thank you for your appli-at--n t- o-- f-ne -nstituion. At this time, we a-e not ab-- to o-fer you a --ot in our first-year class. We w--h you -he b-st -- -uck with your future studies and h--e t--- you will consider applying again during t-- ne-t ap-licati-- c-cle.

Sincerely,

The Dean of Admissions

P.S: My apologies for the faded characters. I did my best to clean up some A1 that I spilled on the page while my fellow staff members and I were enjoying a steak dinner, courtesy of your secondary application fee. I trust that you’ll understand completely; you now know that your money did not go to waste!
 
Dear ILF,

Your penis is a mastodonic penis. Our medical school, penis so small. So small.

Sincerely,
Dean Douchbag.
 
Dear Applicant (You are not worth our time to mention you by name),

How dare you even think of applying to our school! Please do not contact us about your application, because we had to shoot the person who read it, as it was so horrible.

Good luck on your future endeavours!

The Secretary of the Dean of Admissions.

P.S. I hear Kmart is hiring.
 
Dear Applicant,
We're sorry to notify you after your years of a lack of a social life, hours committed to researching in a dark laboratory, loss of thousands of dollars for the application cycle/MCAT reviews/studying abroad/college tuition, that you are not even close to our standards.
Your only physician experience from now on will involve sitting in front of the tv and crying every Thursday during Grey's Anatomy. We wish you luck in your future endevours though.. not.

XXXXX Medical School

P.S please do not call and inquire about your application.
 
Dear starl3tte,

Oh hay bb!! Lulz!

Sincerely,
Dean Douche-tool
 
Dear Applicant -

I bet you thought that as your state school we might be willing to overlook your complete lack of merit as an applicant, and as a human being? Nope! You suck, we know it, and there's no way we'd allow our campus to be sullied by someone as pathetic as yourself.

In fact, we don't even want the inevitable splash-back if you were to somehow weasel your way into one of the Boston schools, so we've gone ahead and blacklisted you at all of those. Get the hell away from us. Immediately.

Happy Trails! See you, oh, NEVER,

Evil AdCom
 
Dear liquid8r,

The admissions committee remembers you well when you toured our facilities as a freshman. We spotted immediate potential in you and continued to invest in your candidacy by inviting you to several campus events.

During your senior year, however, it was to our dismay to see that you had not yet applied to our fine institution. We called the AAMC and found out that you had performed rather dismally on your MCAT. It is the committee's mission to evaluate the entire application including letters of recommendation, GPA, clinical work, personal statement, interview and shadowing. We cover our ***** this way. Really, we receive far too many applications to do this and rely solely upon MCAT to make our final decision. Seeing that you have taken it twice with mediocre results, we can not admit you at this time.

We encourage you to retake the exam and reapply next year. We get a kick out of reapplicants such as yourself because we know you have no real options beyond this. Continue to do things to "boost" your candidacy but please realize that we are one dimensional in our final decision. Best of luck to you.


Sincerely,


Committee of Dreams (Nightmares in your case)
 
Dear Mr. Hat,

We are pleased to inform you that while we do not have a spot for you as a medical student, we have accepted you to our involuntary cadaver donor program. You will be happy to know that before we euthanize you, we will be granting you an honorary doctorate, meaning that you will get to fulfill your dream of being Dr. Mr. Hat.

Don't try to run. We use some of the secondary fees we collect to hire hit men. As you can imagine, we collect a butt-load of fees, so we're able to hire some of the best in the business. And you think anyone will miss you? HAHAHAHAHA!!! We've seen your application and we know what a reject you are.

Thanks in advance for your contribution to medicine.

With love,
Garrison Medical School

PS - Mr. Twig WILL be attending school here.
 
efitzpat said:
Dear Applicant,

We find your story about your personal "tragedy" touching... I'm sorry, I can't pretend. Did you actually think we'd feel sorry for you? Like we've never seen the sympathy card played before. You want tragedy, how about the single mother of three who also happens to be quadruple amputee. SHE managed to keep her grades up. If you couldn't balance work and school as an undergrad, what made you think you could hack it in medical school?

We thereby reject your excuses for a low GPA and deny you acceptance to our institution.

Sincerely,
AdCom

PS
If you were so poor, how did you afford to send us the secondary application fee?
Click to expand...


Lol....
 
It's funny how all of these are coming before October 15th...
Are we really all that pessimistic...
Are we really the future doctors... cuz if we are, then the world is gonna be a sad place...

PS: I am not judging... I wrote one also...
 
Mr. Hat said:
Dear Mr. Hat,

We are pleased to inform you that while we do not have a spot for you as a medical student, we have accepted you to our involuntary cadaver donor program.
Click to expand...


Ha!!
 
Dear WannaBePreMed,

We're sad to inform that you've been rejected to X University of Medicine. Sorry, we're looking for students with research, you won't find any undeserved communities here. Maybe You'll have more success with American Idol.



Best wishes (not really),
Dean of X University of Medicine.
 
ill try one:

Dear MDHOPEFUL08,

You got served!

Sincerely,
X School of Medicine Admissions Office
 
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Dominion said:
I'm still far away from applying but I still have a funny one 🙂

Dear Dominion,

Would everyone who is accepted this year please step forward? Ah ah ah, not so fast dominion.

Sincerely,
Admissions
Crushers of Hope and Dreams
Click to expand...


👍 awesomeness
 
Mr. Hat said:
Dear Mr. Hat,

We are pleased to inform you that while we do not have a spot for you as a medical student, we have accepted you to our involuntary cadaver donor program. You will be happy to know that before we euthanize you, we will be granting you an honorary doctorate, meaning that you will get to fulfill your dream of being Dr. Mr. Hat.

Don't try to run. We use some of the secondary fees we collect to hire hit men. As you can imagine, we collect a butt-load of fees, so we're able to hire some of the best in the business. And you think anyone will miss you? HAHAHAHAHA!!! We've seen your application and we know what a reject you are.

Thanks in advance for your contribution to medicine.

With love,
Garrison Medical School

PS - Mr. Twig WILL be attending school here.
Click to expand...

This is BY FAR, the funniest thing I have ever read on these boards. I'm literally rolling with laughter and tearing up. Awesome.
 
Dear GSG,

We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance into our medical school for the class of 2013.

LOL!!!

Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.

Love,
Adcom
 
Dear herkyMD,

Your application is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responses to your essays were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. I have been made dumber for having read them. I award you no acceptance, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,

AdCom
 
herkyMD said:
Dear herkyMD,

Your application is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responses to your essays were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. I have been made dumber for having read them. I award you no acceptance, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,

AdCom
Click to expand...

Well played, sir :laugh:
 
Dear Chemist0157,

We're sorry to inform you, but we will not be able to offer you an acceptance, because, unfortunately, your modest effort of adopting 19 African orphans is just shy of our reasonable 20-African orphan requirement. We could have seen past this if you would have added diversity to our medical school, but by looking through your file, we see that you are only another human. Had you been from Mars, we could have offered you a seat. Unfortunate.


Sincerely,

Admissions
 
Dear applicant,

aznb0y129 = EPIC FAIL

Lulz,
Adcom
 
Dear DH78,

Thank you for your application. The comedy of your dossier reminds us why we love this job.

Good luck at DeVry,

Medical University State College
 
Dear LET,

when I read you file today, I was inspired. I really liked you and thought hey, maybe I should give this girl a shot. However, the file had already been read by Dr. Mean, who disliked you because of your lack of a 4.0. I don't really know how to change the decision on the computer, so....yeah. Sorry!

Dean KSDFNASDNA
 
Dear Cdeane16,

We are sorry to inform you that we have gone to take another student who doesnt suck. You are horrible, Baaaaaaaddddddd. feel free to apply again in the next cycle when you are not sorry horridly bad at everything.

In regards
XXXX Of XXXX Admissions
 
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