Your parents pay for everything. Are you more at ease about becoming a doctor?

BU Medical Sciences
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See posted question below and please respond:

  • Yes--That would cause many of my worries to diassapear completely.

    Votes: 58 47.9%

  • No--My worries concern mostly other things; debt is a big deal, but not my biggest concern.

    Votes: 63 52.1%
  • Total voters
    121
Twiigg

Twiigg

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Here is the question of interest (well, at least to me):


  • If you're parents decided to pay for all of your medical school expenses (including tuition, living expenses, food, necessities, basically everything besides personal entertainment costs), then would the majority of your anxiety/worries about attending medical school and becoming a doctor cease to exist?

Also, assume your parents wouldn't have no problem paying for it (i.e., they wouldn't have to take a loan themselves, mortgage their entire house, sell a kidney...).

Explain if you have time. For those who respond in the negative, if you don't mind sharing, what are your primary concerns?

ETA: Or win a lottery that stipulates you must only use the $ to pay for medical school and necessities! (Thanks pianola! :) )
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No.
My parents are paying for tuition (I'm covering living expenses). It's a cultural thing. It's kind of assumed that I'll take care of them when they get old. They'll probably live within walking distance of my distant-future house/apartment so I can feed them and entertain them and make them happy when they can't do much on their own.
I don't feel guilty that they're paying. I feel guilty that they could potentially end up paying a ridiculous amount. Looking feverishly for scholarships/essay contests/whatever. I think I'd have fewer emotional/psychological problems re: medschool if I were paying on my own. Guilt, to me, is worse than debt. But if I paid on my own and took out loans and all that, I'd have the added guilt of my parents feeling hurt that I'm rejecting them in some weird way. It's effed up.
 
Do you mind if I win the lottery instead of taking the money from my parents?
 
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pianola said:
Do you mind if I win the lottery instead of taking the money from my parents?
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Ah fine... But that's why I added at the end that it was no financial burden to your parents! I'm guessing you just don't want them holding it over your head or something like that?
 
Twiigg said:
Ah fine... But that's why I added at the end that it was no financial burden to your parents! I'm guessing you just don't want them holding it over your head or something like that?
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Sort of like that.
 
lainapox said:
No.
My parents are paying for tuition (I'm covering living expenses). It's a cultural thing. It's kind of assumed that I'll take care of them when they get old. They'll probably live within walking distance of my distant-future house/apartment so I can feed them and entertain them and make them happy when they can't do much on their own.
I don't feel guilty that they're paying. I feel guilty that they could potentially end up paying a ridiculous amount. Looking feverishly for scholarships/essay contests/whatever. I think I'd have fewer emotional/psychological problems re: medschool if I were paying on my own. Guilt, to me, is worse than debt. But if I paid on my own and took out loans and all that, I'd have the added guilt of my parents feeling hurt that I'm rejecting them in some weird way. It's effed up.
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I never knew Moldovans were just like Indians!:thumbup:
 
Money never comes without strings attached. And unless it's part of your cultural expectations that parents pay for professional school, those strings are rarely clearly defined.

But no, in general, I prefer to pay for my own education. When I was in grad school, I had a full ride plus stipend, and I hated every minute of it. My parents paid for undergrad (mostly, I contributed my summer job earnings, and had some scholarship type stuff) and that was ok, but still stressful.
 
Maybe funky's and lainapox's parents can help me out instead ;).

I don't think my parents could afford to help me out.
 
Um, no. That would add to my problems. Hello, Guilt?
 
Druzie said:
Um, no. That would add to my problems. Hello, Guilt?
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But what if they really, really, really wanted to pay?

And remember, we are assuming it is no financial burden to them in any way. I don't know why, but we just are!
 
The military is already paying for mine (or will, when I figure out where I'm going). My parents can keep the money and go on a cruise or buy a house in Hawai'i or something :p
 
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Twiigg said:
But what if they really, really, really wanted to pay?

And remember, we are assuming it is no financial burden to them in any way. I don't know why, but we just are!
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Nope, and they do want (as much as they are able anyway, and I fight them on it). I guess I already have too many parent issues. ;) Not that I won't take care of my parents when they're older, but... I guess I've just had these things held over my head one too many times in the past.
 
It's strange because I will seriously be in debt of hundreds of thousands of dollars and yet that's not what concerns me about being a doctor. Loans can be paid off once we all become full-fledged physicians. It's an investment :)
 
These results are interesting. I didn't think it would be such an even split. (Thus far, at least.)
 
MsKrispyKreme said:
:laugh:

I'm guessing you've never had to "struggle" before? Wow. :laugh:
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Actually,

I chose my UG in part because of the full scholarship. I work I pay my own way for the rest. The one exception is insurance, because I'm still under my parents plan. :shifty: But yes, I do come from a well off family, which got that way because my father worked his butt off to get where he was. He did it with no familial support, because they couldn't. I respect my father for what he did, and I don't want to ride on his coat tails my whole life.
 
Loans? Is that what I've been applying for? You mean I have to pay these back? I thought I was part of this whole federal bailout package. :smuggrin:
 
If someone paid for my tuition: I would feel more at ease, knowing there's less risk involved in the long run

If my parents paid for it: I would feel uneasy, maybe guilty. Maybe it's a cultural thing, maybe it's pride.

If nobody paid for it: Definitely a concern
 
I'm surprised by how many people wouldn't accept $ from their parents for medical school just because of guilt! They're your parents and they want to help you! Take the money!
 
Twiigg said:
I'm surprised by how many people wouldn't accept $ from their parents for medical school just because of guilt! They're your parents and they want to help you! Take the money!
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If it wasn't a burden to my parents (read: they had millions stashed away), I wouldn't mind at all taking money from them to pay for med school. In fact, I know that they wish they could help me out. But alas, they don't have the money to help pay for my education. Even though the $100,000+ loan I'll be taking out in my name is daunting, I try not to think of it too much. It's not like I'm spending it on a car... it's an education.
 
I would definitely appreciate it if my parents paid for my medical school. It's never going to happen, but the amount of money I'd be taking out in loans is a huge concern for me. Although now that I'm applying MD/PhD, taking out so many loans isn't a concern, but living off a stipend for 8 years? Meh, probably better for me in the long run.
 
my mom always teases me saying "are you going to do this for me?" after cooking dinner or some sorta meal for me.

So I assume she wants me to take care of her and my dad.

Which goes without saying that I don't think they would mind if I asked for some financial help. However, whether I would take it or not is still unclear.

But who the hell cares, I still need to get an acceptance dammit!
 
I'm in a very fortunate situation in that my parents will be paying for as much as is left in my college account, which should end up paying everything for about two years, assuming I get in to my in state school. They paid for all of undergrad and if the stock market wasn't so bad it probably would have paid for at least 3 years of med school (I've lost more from the account from the stock market than from actually paying for undergrad).

I don't necessarily feel guilty about my situation but extremely grateful. I have grown up with two parents that are physicians, one of which is a professor at my state med school. I get told stories about med students going into residency being so far in debt that the amount they are making from residency is barely covering paying their loans, and not allowing enough to live off of. This is in stark contrast to when my parents graduated from med school many years ago in almost 0 debt.

Basically I feel grateful for my situation that my parents have the ability to lighten the financial burden on myself. I believe it is a parents responsibility to give their child the best shot possible. I hope that in the future I am in the situation to do the same thing for my children.
 
I'm planning to take on the loans. I think my parents could probably afford it if necessary, but they paid for my undergraduate which I find to be a fantastic gift in itself.

My main worries about medical school don't involve money, but rather:
1) Performing in the classes
2) Getting into a good residency
3) Maintaining a social life and my sanity while studying more than ever before
 
mydodger said:
It's strange that you don't realize how hard is to pay off that much debt on a physician's salary. It should concern you.

Not to mention the happenstance occurences. What if you are in an accident and are blinded? How are you gonna pay off that debt? What if you lose both of your hands the day after finishing that surgical residency? Federally-funded loans can't be relinquished through bankruptcy, so you're gonna have to pay them back no matter what - and they're not gonna give a damn how handicapped you are.
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It's strange that you jump to your own conclusions. I didn't say it would easy; I said it's not my main concern. Have you actually talked to any medical students? Of course debt is stressful, but they don't whine about it. They have other things to keep their minds on. Almost EVERYONE goes into debt so it's not like having a $200,000 debt is unique to my case.

But it doesn't matter anyways. My parents don't have the money so I won't ever have a decision like this. Even if I do go blind (thanks).
 
yeah, i would definitely take guilt over the collection calls.

to be fair, a lot of my debt is credit cards. but it basically is all from undergrad, and my parents didn't help me then either. i did use them for some stupid stuff but also for lots of essentials (books, living expenses.)

so yes it is my fault and now i am living with it and it's very difficult. on top of it i go to school in a different state from my parents so as much as i wish i could live with them to save money, i am stuck paying rent. and yes, it takes a toll on my academic performance to always be wondering how i'm going to pay my rent/ buy groceries/ etc. Federal loans take care of the tuition and some expenses, but I dont want to take out private loans- so I work part time to try to keep my other debt under control. I never go to the dentist/ doctor, and if my car died i'd be screwed. It's really stressful. my plan at the moment is to apply for med school this summer, and if i get in, to defer for a year and spend the year working full time during the day and bartending at night and on weekends so i can clear as much debt as possible before I start.

my parents paying for tuition would be an enormous burden lifted. even them helping me out a little would ease things. i think there's definitely a happy middle ground in between- if everything was paid for, there might be some guilt and you might not value your education so much. but going through it the way i am is not good. even if my parents offered to pay my rent or something while i took out loans for tuition would make an enormous difference.

this thread is making me depressed.:(

edited to add:
Basically I feel grateful for my situation that my parents have the ability to lighten the financial burden on myself. I believe it is a parents responsibility to give their child the best shot possible. I hope that in the future I am in the situation to do the same thing for my children.
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i agree with this. I mean, you didn't bring yourself into this world- your parents did. sometimes i feel its unfair that they have these high expectations, but didnt save a PENNY to help. all through high school my parents told me i didnt have a choice, i HAVE to go to college. but there was no college fund. that's when my snowball of debt started.

i absolutely hate that my father tells people i am in med school. I always have to remind him that not only have I not even applied yet, but it'll probably take me a long time to get started because i have to deal with all my expenses first. if he insists on bragging rights, can't he help me some?

if i had enough money to pay my kids tuition, i think i would tell them to take out the loans, but that I would pay them off once they graduated. too many parents just flat out pay for their kids and then they drink and party til they fail out. but thats a totally different topic . . .
 
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It would definitely put me more at ease, but not completely relaxed. No matter what I'm going to be spending vast amounts of my time and energy going through the training. It would be nice to not have to add a ridiculous amount of debt, but the time is scary enough.

It would probably make residency a little easier to handle. $40K/yr may not be very much for the time spent, but without debt accruing I could start saving earlier and be that much further ahead.
 
mydodger said:
Sorry if my tone was a bit overbearing, I get concerned when I read a thread full of comments that sound like people don't really understand the magnitude of debt that medical students incur. I don't have the benefit of having rich parents either; I make around $60,000/yr now at 22 years old and thats more than my household income has ever been. Sorry about sounding crude there with the whole blindness thing too, but I get really worried about injuries to my person. There is no way my wife could support me with an English degree, and if we had kids we'd be totally screwed.

I've also read too many forum posts from students who thought debt repayment was not going to be a big deal, got to med school and hated it and couldn't find a way out. Those people are in deep, troubled waters and it's sad that they didn't think through the whole debt process first. I end up sounding more stern and base than I should when talking about debt because of these cases. I know that's no excuse for sounding mean, but maybe it'll explain where I'm coming from a bit.



I've got plenty of friends (6) in various years of medical school, and they're worried about repayment - even with school stresses. One of them has become really interested in Internal Medicine much to his surprise, and is really doubting his ability to repay loans with the salary forecast of IM physicians. And honestly, he really may have to worry. If things weren't changing this would be a different discussion, but Obama wants everyone to have their own PCP and he wants to socialize it like Medicaid. PCP docs are already so overworked that this would burn them out completely while simultaneously decreasing their profits and income. A lot of forecasts are looking bleak, and that's part of the worry here.

For people who have never done this - plug a value of $190,000 (which is 4 years of $40,000/yr at 6.8% interest) at 6.8% interest. That much would work for me at a state school, but Ivy League is out of the question at just 40k/yr.

http://www.finaid.org/calculators/loanpayments.phtml

With those numbers, you're looking at $2,186 per month to repay in 10 years, and $1,238 per month to repay in 30 years. It's a lot of cash.
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No doubt. I agree with you that there are many bleeding hearts on this forum that want to make it as difficult for themselves as possible, and many of those haven't considered the huge debt that comes with being a doctor. I'm married as well so I can relate about being concerned with a wife.

You just specifically responded to my post, but I appreciate your clarification!
 
Change the thread title the " It's Strange Thread"
 
Gosh, I didn't expect it to be so even. I thought the "Yes" would win by leaps and bounds.
 
My biggest worries are (1) passing all my classes/doing well on the boards and (2) getting into a specialty that I want to be in.
 
mydodger said:
I have a tendency to just pick random quotes from a thread that have some words in them that relate to things I want to respond to and then sort of shotgun around the issue. I apologize about that again.

*Married pre-med high five!* I think being married like we are gives you a good foundation to understand finances and debt. When you're totally invested together you suddenly have to manage finances much more tightly because it effects someone you love. Before I was married it was much less of an ordeal to keep track of finances. It really puts things in perspective. I used to buy various electronics alllll the time. Now we're saving to start school next year, and it was a big expense to buy her an iPod for Christmas (she's working too, but we still don't make more than $78k/yr or so together).

You worried about being married and going to med school? I'm thinking it'll be much easier since my wife and I were married before I started. People are more than willing to tell me that my marriage won't last, I find that ridiculous. My wife's a hard worker too and we still make time for each other.
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*High five back*

Marriage puts alot of things into perspective. I was a very responsible person before getting married, and I now feel like having a wife has made me even more "grown up."

I'm not necessarily "worried" about the marriage/medical school complication, but it is something to bear in mind. I'm glad I will have been married more than a year before I start medical school, and I feel like school will be much easier with the love, encouragement, and support of my wife. I'm also glad she'll have a job so she won't go crazy while I'm in school :).

We're strong enough individuals that are marriage will last throughout medical school, but at this one interview, an applicant actually brought her mom (her mom!:rolleyes:) who proceeded to tell this one young couple that they wouldn't ever make it through medical school married. She was a vet and knew a lot of people who divorced through school, but come on! Where does she come off telling complete strangers they won't ever make it!?
 
my biggest worry is:
doing a good job as a doc. not killing anyone, and hopefully saving some lives along the way. Am I the only one who is nervous, because while being a doctor is a priviledge, its also a tremendous responsibility and peoples lives are literally in your hands?
aside from that worry (long in the future), I am also worried about
- being a good mother throughout medical school and afterwords-balancing family and career
- far lower on teh list but still there - doing well on my boards and getting into the field that i want to be in.

My parents have agreed to pay if Im not offered a scholarship (not that I think I would be). Pay=tuition, books, all medical school related expenses. Living expenses such as our house and my car, well Im married, so that we pay for ourselves. But will I go into debt cuz of med school? I have a guarantee that I wont (and no my dad isnt selling his kidney or anything, thankfully they can afford it), and even so, NO that doesnt alleviate stress. Whats more important, money or saving lives. making sure i dont kill anyone is a bit higher on my priority list.
 
lainapox said:
No.
My parents are paying for tuition (I'm covering living expenses). It's a cultural thing. It's kind of assumed that I'll take care of them when they get old. They'll probably live within walking distance of my distant-future house/apartment so I can feed them and entertain them and make them happy when they can't do much on their own.
I don't feel guilty that they're paying. I feel guilty that they could potentially end up paying a ridiculous amount. Looking feverishly for scholarships/essay contests/whatever. I think I'd have fewer emotional/psychological problems re: medschool if I were paying on my own. Guilt, to me, is worse than debt. But if I paid on my own and took out loans and all that, I'd have the added guilt of my parents feeling hurt that I'm rejecting them in some weird way. It's effed up.
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samehere. it's a cultural thing. I have to get into med school first, though, in order for that to happen. :laugh:

and no, I don't feel guilty. I would feel like the most selfish person on the planet if I decided not to live close to them as they are growing older, though. I love living different places away from home and experiencing new things, but, ultimately, that won't trump my responsibility to my parents as they grow older. for those who have a similar cultural understanding, then you know what I'm talking about when I say I would never throw my parents in a nursing home like most Americans do with their parents.
 
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yea, I should add also after looking at the last post, Its a cultural thing for me too. All my friends parents paid for med school. It would be wierd if they didnt. Its just what is expected. You know, the whole jewish doctor stereotype, the parents pushing their 2 and 3 yr olds in a stroller - this ones a dr this ones a lawyer? Its expected- they put you thru college and support you, in return, you take care of them instead of throwing htem in some crap nursing home. its a pretty tight knit kindof system i guess.
 
lainapox said:
...They'll probably live within walking distance of my distant-future house/apartment so I can feed them and entertain them and make them happy when they can't do much on their own. ...
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Thinking like this is easy when you are single, but if you get married, your spouse may have another future in mind -- or parents of his own to feed/entertain. Cultural is nice, but very often our futures take us where we least expect.
 
Law2Doc said:
Thinking like this is easy when you are single, but if you get married, your spouse may have another future in mind -- or parents of his own to feed/entertain. Cultural is nice, but very often our futures take us where we least expect.
Click to expand...

but if you both had a similar upbringing (Im married so not talking hypothetically here), even if your parents live far away, you find a way to make it work. saw it with my grandparents, and now i see it with my husbands grandparents as well.
 
mydodger said:
With those numbers, you're looking at $2,186 per month to repay in 10 years, and $1,238 per month to repay in 30 years. It's a lot of cash.
Click to expand...
After taxes, a physician can easily bring home $10,000 to $11,000 per month fresh out of residency. $2,186 is not that much when you consider that the physician would have (at the very minimum) about $8,000 left of his/her salary. I make ~$400 a month right now. It's going to be hard to convince me that $8,000 a month AFTER TAXES and AFTER PAYING MY LOANS is not enough to have a decent home and lifestyle, and still put away a big chunk.
 
Why do some of you even bother responding to half of what premeds on here say about supposed guilt and what they'd actually be comfortable doing/taking/saying? Just leave them to their ideology.
 
shevie said:
but if you both had a similar upbringing (Im married so not talking hypothetically here), even if your parents live far away, you find a way to make it work. saw it with my grandparents, and now i see it with my husbands grandparents as well.
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It's possible. But if parents live far away, that sort of proves my point -- that you won't be living down the street from your parents, because you job and spouse may pull you other directions. You can't plan these things before you get there.
 
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