And now for everyone's favorite segment... Comedian of the Day!
Todays comedian is none other than Brian Regan.
"Alright so Evil Conevil, yeah. They're always asking him about that time he messed up. And the strangest question I've ever heard them ask is
'So evil what were you thinking right before you hit the ground?' how much stupider can you get?
'well, Bob. I was thinking, Hey! Did I leave the iron on? and when my leg broke in half, Hey! I should get a puppy! No! What do you think I was thinking? I was thinking AHHHHHH!!!!! AAHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"People spell their name however they want, it has nothing to do with phonics or nothing. I'm not sure what phonics is, but I saw the girl that was hooked on it. She's got a problem with it apparently. Have you seen that commercial? "Hooked on Phonics worked for me" She's adorable, ya' know. I was thinking, wouldn't that be weird if she was applying what she learned and she couldn't get the commercial straight, ya' know?
"Hoookid on puh-hhonicks wer-kid for meh! HHooookid on puh-hhonicks wer-kid for meh! Meh!".
"Okay, CUT!!!"
"You talk to her, man."
"We ain't gonna move a lot tapes this way, I'm tellin ya' right now."
Anyway I met his woman, her name was ah, Amy, you know, so I go "Oh, A-M-Y?" She goes "No, A-Y-M-I-E". "Ughhh... I have to take a nap! I'm Brian, B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N, the number 7, the letter Q, --'Brennemenahgah!!!' Look at my name tag, it's, it's big."
"I can't remember names... And I always try to do the nickname thing, to get out of it. Everybody knows what you're trying to pull, you know?
"Heeeeey... buckaroo."
"My name's not buckaroo."
"Sure, sure it is... partner"
Some people get really upset if you say their name wrong, especially if they have a name that's similar to another name. Carolyn and Caroline. They got a thing about that, man. Don't get that wrong, 'cause they're gonna drill you. "Hi, Caro... lyn."
"It's Caroline. It's Caroline, Brian..."
"It's BRIOOOOHHHN. Yes, my name is BRIOOOOOOGGHHN!!! It's very hard to say my name correctly, 'cuz my name is BRANNAAGHAMMANGAAH!!! Can you say that? Very few can. Correctly."