are there any loyal women?

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medstud104

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Is there such thing as a loyal woman?
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medstud104 said:
Is there such thing as a loyal woman?
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Absolutely. You have to find yourself a good Catholic woman. Adultery is a mortal sin that could land you in Hell. Divorce is also a mortal sin.
 
THP said:
Absolutely. You have to find yourself a good Catholic woman. Adultery is a mortal sin that could land you in Hell. Divorce is also a mortal sin.
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Those girls also believe in sex largely for procreation only 😀

To the OP, there are yea, same as there are loyal men. Anyway, good luck finding them 🙂
 
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studentp0x said:
Those girls also believe in sex largely for procreation only 😀

To the OP, there are yea, same as there are loyal men. Anyway, good luck finding them 🙂
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True, but they do have a marital obligation to their husband!
 
THP said:
True, but they do have a marital obligation to their husband!
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They do yes. Many though could change to "fit" their husbands sexual needs and be great partners. Guess it's about luck of the draw.
 
I'm glad I don't use my real name on here - but I fully support stoning to death for a confirmed adultery... am I weird? It's simple - don't cheat 😀
 
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Absolutely! Keep in mind that looks can be deceiving. I dated a girl in high school who looked as innocent as a baby and she ended up cheating on me multiple times. Sigh, if only they had something like "Carfax" for humans.


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Draxula said:
Absolutely! Keep in mind that looks can be deceiving. I dated a girl in high school who looked as innocent as a baby and she ended up cheating on me multiple times. Sigh, if only they had something like "Carfax" for humans.


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Cheaters... They need to be kicked - real hard
 
THP said:
Absolutely. You have to find yourself a good Catholic woman. Adultery is a mortal sin that could land you in Hell. Divorce is also a mortal sin.
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I found that to be the opposite. Also a lot of men are not "loyal". I honestly think its impossible to difficult for people to be "loyal" to each other. In our society, monogamy is the ideal, but reality is very different, even not in our society only.

In Japan, where my parents come from, men always cheat on their wives, usually with prostitutes. And society there allows it, her in America, it would pretty much lead to a divorce.
 
Seth Joo said:
I found that to be the opposite. Also a lot of men are not "loyal". I honestly think its impossible to difficult for people to be "loyal" to each other. In our society, monogamy is the ideal, but reality is very different, even not in our society only.

In Japan, where my parents come from, men always cheat on their wives, usually with prostitutes. And society there allows it, her in America, it would pretty much lead to a divorce.
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Did your Dad cheat on your Mom in Japan?
 
First of all, finding love depends on your own personal values and convictions. To ask strangers about if certain, specific woman exist is to defy your own conscious values resulting in opting for another mans' desires. To love is to value. Only a man of self-esteem, is capable of love - because he is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, unbetrayed values. The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone. Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another. Your best bet could be to find someone who may share the same values, as to where you may find that person, that's up to you............
 
Seth Joo said:
Not in Western countries. Eastern countries are different.
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1) does she go out to parties/clubs/girls nights?

2) does she have more guy friends than girl friends?

3) a very sexually active past?

if the answer to any of those is a yes, just steer away and dont take a chance.. Number one is definitely the worst though. Couldnt even tell you how many girls ive seen seen in the party settings or how many my bartender friends tell me have. Married woman/guys with gfs going home with different guys every week... just ridiculous. The worst part is that such women are often very skilled liars. On the other hand I find guys to be more reckless with cheating and not be as good at lying.
 
studentp0x said:
1) does she go out to parties/clubs/girls nights?

2) does she have more guy friends than girl friends?

3) a very sexually active past?

if the answer to any of those is a yes, just steer away and dont take a chance.. Number one is definitely the worst though. Couldnt even tell you how many girls ive seen seen in the party settings or how many my bartender friends tell me have. Married woman/guys with gfs going home with different guys every week... just ridiculous. The worst part is that such women are often very skilled liars. On the other hand I find guys to be more reckless with cheating and not be as good at lying.
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Those three would probably describe the majority of Western women. There are still cultures where women are not out to sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
 
Seth Joo said:
Not in Western countries. Eastern countries are different.
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Not really. It takes two to tango, even in Japan.

Seth Joo said:
I found that to be the opposite. Also a lot of men are not "loyal". I honestly think its impossible to difficult for people to be "loyal" to each other. In our society, monogamy is the ideal, but reality is very different, even not in our society only.

In Japan, where my parents come from, men always cheat on their wives, usually with prostitutes. And society there allows it, her in America, it would pretty much lead to a divorce.
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A lot of men cheat on their wives, but not all of them. The same can be said of women in Japan. As far as society allowing it, I would say maybe. Divorce law in Japan is not kind to the adulterer, and there is plenty of precedence for the jilted spouse to sue the other man/woman in civil court and squeeze some money out of them. Many will still turn a blind eye, but I wouldn't exactly call it acceptance when you have to hide the indiscretion. The jilted spouse will turn a blind eye only as long as there are kids to raise and the other person is holding up their fair share of the domestic duties. As soon as that's done, divorce is often the result. Things have changed quite a bit from whenever your parents left the old country.
 
MedWonk said:
Not really. It takes two to tango, even in Japan.



A lot of men cheat on their wives, but not all of them. The same can be said of women in Japan. As far as society allowing it, I would say maybe. Divorce law in Japan is not kind to the adulterer, and there is plenty of precedence for the jilted spouse to sue the other man/woman in civil court and squeeze some money out of them. Many will still turn a blind eye, but I wouldn't exactly call it acceptance when you have to hide the indiscretion. The jilted spouse will turn a blind eye only as long as there are kids to raise and the other person is holding up their fair share of the domestic duties. As soon as that's done, divorce is often the result. Things have changed quite a bit from whenever your parents left the old country.
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It is still not like the USA. Of course it has changed to a degree, but still not as high as the US or Europe, where divorce rates are over 50 percent. The divorce rate in America has been high for decades.
 
Seth Joo said:
It is still not like the USA. Of course it has changed to a degree, but still not as high as the US or Europe, where divorce rates are over 50 percent. The divorce rate in America has been high for decades.
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It's actually under 50% in the US and it varies considerably depending on socioeconomic status and the age at which the person was married. Either way, I wasn't addressing the divorce rate between the two countries, but rather changing attitudes towards infidelity, which was the main thrust of that previous post of yours. I can see why people in SPF call you the master of the non sequitur.
 
MedWonk said:
It's actually under 50% in the US and it varies considerably depending on socioeconomic status and the age at which the person was married. Either way, I wasn't addressing the divorce rate between the two countries, but rather changing attitudes towards infidelity, which was the main thrust of that previous post of yours. I can see why people in SPF call you the master of the non sequitur.
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It depends on the year, and the current divorce rate in Japan is around 20 to 25 percent, its much less than in the US. Divorce among foreigners and Japanese is very high, but lower among Japanese themselves. I have heard of horror stories where foreign men were kicked out of the country after a divorce and unable to see their kids again.

If the US divorce rate has fallen a bit, its mostly due to fewer people getting married, most data I have found pegged divorce at around 50 percent of marriages.

Divorce is a relatively simple legal procedure in the USA, you only need one party to divorce, its harder to break up in Japan in comparison, its only easy in Japan if both the husband and wife agree to split and come up with some kind of agreement with regards to children and money, if not it winds up in court. Divorce laws in the US are no fault, and only one party is needed to initiate divorce proceedings. Divorce can get complicated in the US when it involves money and kids.

Women almost always get custody in Japan but then again its because its assumed women would be better suited to raise children than men.

FYI, I am divorced myself, but both of us were raised in the US, it was relatively easy to split here, particularly since we had no kids.
 
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Seth Joo said:
Divorce laws in the US are no fault
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That is actually state-dependent. I believe all states have a no fault option, but in some there is a required separation period before you can file no fault, and require that you file for fault divorce if you don't want to comply with the waiting period.
 
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Seth Joo said:
It depends on the year, and the current divorce rate in Japan is around 20 to 25 percent, its much less than in the US. Divorce among foreigners and Japanese is very high, but lower among Japanese themselves. I have heard of horror stories where foreign men were kicked out of the country after a divorce and unable to see their kids again.

If the US divorce rate has fallen a bit, its mostly due to fewer people getting married, most data I have found pegged divorce at around 50 percent of marriages.

Divorce is a relatively simple legal procedure in the USA, you only need one party to divorce, its harder to break up in Japan in comparison, its only easy in Japan if both the husband and wife agree to split and come up with some kind of agreement with regards to children and money, if not it winds up in court. Divorce laws in the US are no fault, and only one party is needed to initiate divorce proceedings. Divorce can get complicated in the US when it involves money and kids.

Women almost always get custody in Japan but then again its because its assumed women would be better suited to raise children than men.

FYI, I am divorced myself, but both of us were raised in the US, it was relatively easy to split here, particularly since we had no kids.
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The divorce rate in Japan is more like 1 in 3, if you parse out the statistics provided by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare (freely available on their website with a quick google search). Of note, divorce rate among middle aged and elderly couples is markedly increased (maybe those wives aren't as accepting of infidelity after all). Today's rate is 3.5 times higher than it was 1950, and is in no small part due to greater agency on the part of Japanese women compared to 1950. This in turn allows them the financial security to get a divorce whereas decades ago it would've left the wife (who was often a housewife) in virtual poverty. Another thing that suppresses divorce rates is that their is still quite a bit of stigma associated with divorce in Japan.

Divorce in this country is only fairly easy when both spouses agree to the divorce and are in agreement on how they will divide their assets. Otherwise, it can be a long, draining process if one spouse has to sue to the other for a divorce. You may be the first person who has called adversarial divorce simple or easy.

Women tend to be favored in getting custody of their children in this country, as well.

Horror stories of men getting kicked out is probably because they didn't have their affairs in order. Plenty of foreigners get divorced in Japan without being deported. Most who leave do so of their own volition. Divorce being higher in intercultural marriages isn't surprising. It's hard enough sustaining a relationship when you share the same culture and have similar upbringings. I suspect intercultural marriages have higher rates of failure everywhere. Plenty of us make it work, though (so far, anyway).
 
MedWonk said:
The divorce rate in Japan is more like 1 in 3, if you parse out the statistics provided by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare (freely available on their website with a quick google search). Of note, divorce rate among middle aged and elderly couples is markedly increased (maybe those wives aren't as accepting of infidelity after all). Today's rate is 3.5 times higher than it was 1950, and is in no small part due to greater agency on the part of Japanese women compared to 1950. This in turn allows them the financial security to get a divorce whereas decades ago it would've left the wife (who was often a housewife) in virtual poverty. Another thing that suppresses divorce rates is that their is still quite a bit of stigma associated with divorce in Japan.

Divorce in this country is only fairly easy when both spouses agree to the divorce and are in agreement on how they will divide their assets. Otherwise, it can be a long, draining process if one spouse has to sue to the other for a divorce. You may be the first person who has called adversarial divorce simple or easy.

Women tend to be favored in getting custody of their children in this country, as well.

Horror stories of men getting kicked out is probably because they didn't have their affairs in order. Plenty of foreigners get divorced in Japan without being deported. Most who leave do so of their own volition. Divorce being higher in intercultural marriages isn't surprising. It's hard enough sustaining a relationship when you share the same culture and have similar upbringings. I suspect intercultural marriages have higher rates of failure everywhere. Plenty of us make it work, though (so far, anyway).
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My guess is that modern life and affluence have an effect on divorce rates. During my parent's time, divorce was unheard of, its increasing due to "modernization". Divorce rates in the US have always been relatively high, even during the Daddy knows best days.

My mother is a more traditional woman, many of my white friends envied me when they saw the lunch she packed with me to school.

She pushed me to marry a Japanese girl, who grew up here in America, anyway we wound up going our separate ways. My ex was extremely unhappy with me leaving a good job to go back to school.

The actual process of dissolving a marriage in the USA is a fairly easy process, it becomes complicated when a couple has assets like a house, and children, then the lawyers and courts get involved. We were renting and had no kids, so it was a painless process.
 
Seth Joo said:
FYI, I am divorced myself, but both of us were raised in the US, it was relatively easy to split here, particularly since we had no kids.
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Ahhh, it's all starting to come together now. You probably had a bad first run at marriage and can't let it go and have decided to blame it on your ex being raised in the West rather than looking at inherent flaws, incompatibilities, and issues with your relationship and yourself. Some of us learn from our divorces, while others brood.
 
Seth Joo said:
My guess is that modern life and affluence have an effect on divorce rates. During my parent's time, divorce was unheard of, its increasing due to "modernization". Divorce rates in the US have always been relatively high, even during the Daddy knows best days.

My mother is a more traditional woman, many of my white friends envied me when they saw the lunch she packed with me to school.

She pushed me to marry a Japanese girl, who grew up here in America, anyway we wound up going our separate ways. My ex was extremely unhappy with me leaving a good job to go back to school.

The actual process of dissolving a marriage in the USA is a fairly easy process, it becomes complicated when a couple has assets like a house, and children, then the lawyers and courts get involved. We were renting and had no kids, so it was a painless process.
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Back in the day, divorce rates were lower simply because people put up with unhappy marriages rather than getting divorced due to social and financial reasons. If you'd rather have a culture of people miserably suffering their partners in silence then there's probably something wrong with your view of relationships.
 
Mad Jack said:
Back in the day, divorce rates were lower simply because people put up with unhappy marriages rather than getting divorced due to social and financial reasons. If you'd rather have a culture of people miserably suffering their partners in silence then there's probably something wrong with your view of relationships.
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That could be the case, but people are unhappy today also, so what is your point, divorce hurts everyone besides the wife and husband, the kids get it the worse. I had friends of mine whose parents split while they were growing up and it impacted them very negatively.

As I said I had no kids when me and my wife decided to split, and it was me who brought up the idea. I wanted to go back to school to be a doctor, not work in a cubicle for the rest of my life.
 
Seth Joo said:
I question that data, most data I have found estimates that US divorce rates are 50 percent of new marriages.
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Find me that data. Because it doesn't exist. Here is a very long dissection of why it is incorrect: http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/main/u-s-divorce-rates-and-statistics-1037.shtml

The "50% of marriages end in divorce" was a BS statistic that came about because someone that wasn't into sociology or demographics noticed that one year there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces and then just extrapolated that to all of forever. If you actually look at the success rate of first time marriages (not second marriages and so on, because they are far less likely to be successful, statistically), the average first-time marriage divorce rate is 30% overall, 40% for poor couples that marry young (the worst cohort), and 20% for college educated couples that marry after age 25 (the best cohort). If you look at overall marriage rates, 40% of all marriages end in divorce, but that extra 10% comes from divorced people that are on their 2nd, 3rd, or even further down marriage.
 
Seth Joo said:
That could be the case, but people are unhappy today also, so what is your point, divorce hurts everyone besides the wife and husband, the kids get it the worse. I had friends of mine whose parents split while they were growing up and it impacted them very negatively.

As I said I had no kids when me and my wife decided to split, and it was me who brought up the idea. I wanted to go back to school to be a doctor, not work in a cubicle for the rest of my life.
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Divorce was the best thing to ever happen to my childhood. My father was a perpetual drunk that cheated on my mother constantly and was no man to look up to. My step father was a pretty cool guy that I look to as my father to this day, and they've been happily together for going on 25 years now. We've all got our anecdotes. I've seen more than enough kids that grew up with ****ed up views of what a relationship should be like because their parents hated each other and stayed together for the kids. It made them feel like they were the reason for their parent's misery. People need to do what's best for themselves if they are to also do what's best for their children. Misery at home is no way to raise a child.
 
Seth Joo said:
I question that data, most data I have found estimates that US divorce rates are 50 percent of new marriages.
Click to expand...

The last time they actually bothered to really look using census data, as far as I can find, was in 2002 with a divorce rate of 29% for first marriages. Subsequent marriages have higher rates of divorce, which likely pushes the overall number up, but it's still less than half. Divorce rate also varies widely depending on socioeconomic status, level of education and the age at which you were married. Basically, wealthy, well-educated people who marry closer to 30 or later tend to not get divorced as often.

Also, I don't know that packing a bento for you everyday is a mark of tradition, really. My wife does this for me, but I wouldn't say she is particularly bound to tradition.
 
Mad Jack said:
Divorce was the best thing to ever happen to my childhood. My father was a perpetual drunk that cheated on my mother constantly and was no man to look up to. My step father was a pretty cool guy that I look to as my father to this day, and they've been happily together for going on 25 years now. We've all got our anecdotes. I've seen more than enough kids that grew up with ****ed up views of what a relationship should be like because their parents hated each other and stayed together for the kids. It made them feel like they were the reason for their parent's misery. People need to do what's best for themselves if they are to also do what's best for their children. Misery at home is no way to raise a child.
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Well your case you have a point, but people get divorced for very trivial reasons these days. I feel lucky that my parents were good stable people.
 
You guys are divorced? lol
 
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