- Joined
- Oct 16, 2012
- Messages
- 13
- Reaction score
- 0
Last edited:
Can somebody help me?
- Thread starter tranthai
- Start date
- Status
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2012
- Messages
- 1,269
- Reaction score
- 149
I wouldn't post a full PS in the forums; anyone could take parts of it. Search the Pre- allo forums- there is a thread at the top for 2013/2014 applicants, and within it, a link to a thread With a reader's list for PS. You should try PMing one of the readers.
I'm not a critic, but just reading it briefly, I would say it definitely needs to be shortened. Some of the superfluous sentences need to be cut, for example, 'I was so excited, I could not contain myself. I sprinted across the house, I jumped with joy, I raised my head to the ceiling and laughed. I was so happy, I could not believe it. I thought I was living in a fairytale.' This is just filled with cliches. I did like the story though; it seems like you would be a strong applicant.
I'm not a critic, but just reading it briefly, I would say it definitely needs to be shortened. Some of the superfluous sentences need to be cut, for example, 'I was so excited, I could not contain myself. I sprinted across the house, I jumped with joy, I raised my head to the ceiling and laughed. I was so happy, I could not believe it. I thought I was living in a fairytale.' This is just filled with cliches. I did like the story though; it seems like you would be a strong applicant.
- Status
