Dads of Private Practice - how much time did you take off for paternity leave?

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propofabulous

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Work in a fee for service PP group and can take off as much time a I want but don't get paid a cent. For those of you out there in eat what you kill PP who have children, how much unpaid time off did you take around the birth of your kid? And do you wish you took more, or less?

Happy to hear about others' experiences too from the employed or academic world. The big difference though I think is that for you guys paternity leave is both defined and paid.
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Some states (e.g. CA) will pay you if you take unpaid family leave. It’s not as much as you’d make working but it’s better than a kick in the dick.

You should definitely look into it.
 
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We had to take one week off at a time
Baby delivered Thursday (scheduled c/s at 430pm). I worked Thursday at surgery center to 230pm

Had spouse friend take her to hospital for 230pm check in. Baby delivered at 5pm. I stayed to 830pm and left cause our son was at home and 2 years old and really no family help. I went to work next day Friday morning. Friend helped with my 2 year Old son in am while I worked

Took the following week off.

So one week off. Pretty brutal when u don’t have family.
 
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Get a nanny or in-law to help. Dad is usually useless anyway.
 
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6 weeks unpaid. Depends on your wife, local support from family and comfortability with hired help.
 
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With my last, was supposed to be on call Thursday, inducing Friday morning, then off for a week (just worked out, as vacation was planned a year before). Unfortunately, went into labor early Thursday morning, so someone had to work my call shift, but I kept the Friday off. So, eleven days total. My first two were while I was in the Army, and paternity leave at that time was only permitted to be ten days (but got screwed by my leadership with the first, since we were already short and leave was forbidden; just got a week).
 
First kid I was in your shoes. Took 2 weeks unpaid. Basically just used 2 weeks of vacation that I would have taken anyway so no real revenue loss. Will be employed for second kid. Parental leave is 6 weeks, paid.
 
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these short leaves are insane to me. we get 2 weeks paternity then can use vacation, so i used 2 weeks vacation for 4 weeks off total. i couldnt imagine taking less than 2 weeks.
 
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buccsmf1 said:
these short leaves are insane to me. we get 2 weeks paternity then can use vacation, so i used 2 weeks vacation for 4 weeks off total. i couldnt imagine taking less than 2 weeks.
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I took one week off like it was regular vacation

I haven’t had 2 weeks off consecutively .. maybe ever ?
 
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Beeftenderloin said:
First kid I was in your shoes. Took 2 weeks unpaid. Basically just used 2 weeks of vacation that I would have taken anyway so no real revenue loss. Will be employed for second kid. Parental leave is 6 weeks, paid.
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Do you feel like 2 weeks was too short? 6 weeks sounds ideal, happy for you
 
If you have enough staffing at your PP and can take several weeks off, then go for as much as you’d like and can afford.

We run pretty lean, intentionally, so I took the night and following day off, and was back to work right after.

Not much you can do at home with the daytime breastfeeding, and if you’re not on call you will be home for dinner and evening / nighttime help anyway.
 
2 weeks bc wife wouldn’t put up with me taking less. Work is much easier than being at home with a newborn. When you have two under two you’ll be volunteering for call.
 
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First kid: 2 weeks

Second kid: 1 week followed by 3 weeks of a lighter schedule (no calls, weekends or late days)

We had lots of help so it wasn’t too bad. But looking back now, I wish I had taken more time for both… something like a full 4-6 weeks for each kid.
 
Took 3 alternating weeks of the first 6wks post birth for all three kids (used as my vacation weeks). That worked out pretty well. No family around but had a nanny during the last two.
Now that we’re employed we are offered up to 6wks I believe and can be used anytime within the first six months, so a perk of being employed over PP. Of course no one is given by our employer to cover the person taking leave so basically everyone else just works more.
 
I found vacation more useful at the 3 month mark when wife went back to work. Took off the week before she went back and then the first week she was gone.
 
ChiDO said:
Ortho. PP.

#1. Kid Wednesday. Took off till Monday.

#2. Kid Saturday. Went to work Wed (half day)
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Paternity leave would be harder for a PP surgeon. Your patients expect to see you and you have ongoing overhead. Anesthesiologists are interchangeable and we have minimal overhead.
 
Yall in such dire financial straits ya can't take a few weeks off for the birth of your kid or what?
 
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For my first child, I was at a new job and took off 1 day. That was terrible for multiple reasons. For my second child, I used 2 weeks of vacation. I should have taken 4 weeks off. It’s not about bonding with the baby or taking cute pictures. Your wife often won’t feel well for a couple of weeks and is understandably exhausted. When you have another young child to take care of, it is an enormous burden on your spouse to expect her to try to recover, care for a newborn, and potentially care for other children. Having extended family helps, but they often have lives of their own to tend to. I think 4-6 weeks would be ideal. Even if it is unpaid, that pay cut shouldn’t make or break you.
 
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IMG_7516.jpeg
 
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Most state institutions are following the feds with their 12 week paid paternity leave policy

Makes govt affiliated places very attractive place to work

Say you make “only” 450k at state institution like mine. 40 hour week no over night.

You get 12 weeks paid benefit. Plus whatever sick leave and annual leave u accrued.

That’s like a whopping 90-100k benefit (12 weeks paid)

I think the only requirement is you can’t use terminal leave. So you must come back to work for at least 12 weeks to make up the benefit. Which 99.999% of the people will do anyways.

So if you plan on having family 1-2 kids out of residency. It also includes global paternity (dads too) leave. And you can take it 1-2 weeks at a time. We joke with this plastic surgeon. He literally stretched out his 12 weeks paid leave almost 12 months by saying his kid was literally walking by the time he finished his PAID paternity leave
 
W2 employee - took two weeks paid. Had the option to take 4 weeks but only two of them would be paid.
 
Visiting from EM, and I have 4 kids (I’m the mom) - husband works fire/EMS part time- we would definitely have ended up divorced/miserable if he had not gone to work for 12 weeks omg. Those who have that kind of off time for paternity leave, make sure you’re giving mom some time to herself and some time alone with baby, I actually think it would be better if you could do say 20 weeks of PT instead of 12 weeks off, from an adjustment standpoint.
 
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We had twins in 2020 when I was still at a University/VA job. They didn't have specific paternity leave back then, but generous sick leave and I had accumulated quite a bit by then. Between that and vacation, I was off nearly 5 months. The birth was traumatic with an unanticipated (but not emergent) c-section that was c/b a 20 unit MTP, hysterectomy, IR, etc. Even still, in retrospect, my wife wishes I had taken less time off. Even though paid, my presence became a stressor of its own, as I developed a lot of anxiety around schedules, routines, etc. Maybe a month and then alternate weeks or something.
 
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Funny you say that because I think my kid's birth affected me more than my wife. I didn't even know that men could get affected.
 
My friend lives in Sweden, 6 months paid paternity leave, said he got back into exercising during the time. Yeah, he pays ~50% in taxes, doesn’t worry about healthcare, street crime, maybe not going to Hawaii every year but living a good life in my opinion
 
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Maverikk said:
My friend lives in Sweden, 6 months paid paternity leave, said he got back into exercising during the time. Yeah, he pays ~50% in taxes, doesn’t worry about healthcare, street crime, maybe not going to Hawaii every year but living a good life in my opinion
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We do some contract work for Kaiser. One of their general surgeons has an adult daughter who moved to Sweden. He moved there too after he retired.

My daughter used to work for a Swedish immigrant. She thought it was funny that we linked healthcare to our jobs and sports to our schools.
 
Have only one kid, took two months off.

Then again, she was born literally right at the start of the pandemic when all elective cases cancelled, and I was terrified of tracking home some crazy deadly virus that no one knew anything about. I wanted the time off, and the other folks in my group had bills to pay and were desperate to work whenever they could, deadly virus or not.

Originally I was planning on taking two weeks off, but in retrospect I am really glad I was there to support my wife and spend time with my newborn.
 
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It's funny, now that my twins are three, I feel like my presence at home more now would be more valuable and more meaningful than when they were newborns.
 
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cchoukal said:
It's funny, now that my twins are three, I feel like my presence at home more now would be more valuable and more meaningful than when they were newborns.
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Agree. Newborns just kind of lie there and nap.

My two year old? Not so much…
 
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One kid. Became a partner while my wife was pregnant. Took off 2 weeks, but the day after my daughter was born I was awoken in the hospital room by one of my partners asking if I could help cover L&D. A perfect storm knocked out so many anesthesiologists the remaining ones weren't sure they'd be able to handle epidurals. Thankfully I didn't end up being needed.

Got home and then had to return to the hospital for severe postpartum preeclampsia. Made it home after that, and was off work another 3 days before coming back to work.
 
Zero days, I think. Timing was perfect. Wife went into labor while I was at an interview dinner for new residents. Came home, drove to hospital. Slept in room during dilation. Delivered around 0400 on a Thursday. Showed up for my shift 2 hours later. Worked the next day, too, then went home with her when she was discharged. Sat, Sunday, then right back to work.
 
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Anyone here talk to their wives and find out how they felt about you taking off zero to a few days off?

I took off a couple of weeks (max vacation days without affecting my partners), and both of us felt like it wasn’t enough time. That being said, I am more of the generation that believes marriage is a partnership rather than an extension of myself so maybe that’s the difference.
 
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Cant believe some y’all are proud of the fact that you took no days or 1-2 days. Is bonding with your new born kid considered being weak or something? I’m planning on atleast 6 weeks
 
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I'm already pre planning a nanny, night nanny, and in laws to help out when i have kids in the next 12 months. I have no judgement on what others are doing. Sort of like when i walk into mcdonald's and get the black coffee while others are devouring their big mac, extra large fries, and jumbo pink lemonade.
 
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Hey, you guys totally got me figured out. Great psychoanalysis on an Internet forum.

Let me tell you how it worked- I WAS A RESIDENT. I had no "partners" to barter vacation days. I couldn't demand the extra days and just take no pay. Every additional day I took off was another day I had to tag on to the end of my residency to complete my training. Call BS on the ACGME, not me. My PD was actually a very nice guy. But I promise he was going to have no sympathy for me. He had it just as bad when he was a resident. And I completed my training AFTER the 80-hr work restrictions.

Did I talk to my spouse? OF COURSE I DID. I gave her the zero-sum game of time off in residency. For every day I take off now, that's one less day I get later. I also knew what I was doing. We entered residency with a 3-month old and had another CA-2 year. I intentionally chose a program close to her in-laws. My parents flew in for the birth, her parents came in a couple weeks later for support. So spare me the lecture about divorce rates. We have been happily married for 19 years. I've spent no more than 2-3 weeks away from her, cumulatively, since we met in 2001. We are doing just fine, thanks.
 
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You really want to get my wife going? Now I work at a place where Paternity (with a capital P) Leave is 3 weeks. Free of charge. Paid for by short-Term Disability, or whatever. She gets pretty envious each time one of my partners takes leave, with no consequence to them, while the rest of us rearrange vacation, call shifts, etc. She's not mad at me, she's mad at the situation. To blame me for not taking off time is equivalent to blaming surgery residents that trained before 2010 for working so many hours.

I didn't choose the absent-after-birth life, it chose me. I guarantee if I was GIVEN A CHOICE, I would have taken 3 weeks off, or whatever they gave me.

Four months later, we took a trip to Hawaii. All my other residents did CME trips to crappy East Coast conferences in damp hotel rooms. I presented at a conference in Hawaii. On a trip I probably could not have attended if I had used my CME time for the birth of my second child.

But preach on Millenials, you've got the world figured out. I know you've been raised to think the word will change if you just speak up, but it's really not like that.
 
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