Dealing with a lot of anxiety about starting medical school...

[Distinct]

I'll be starting MS-1 this July and I'm feeling very anxious. This may sound trivial to you guys, but it really is something that has caused me a lot of stress recently and I'd appreciate some serious feedback and discussion. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this either. I want to know whether you guys ever felt this way and how you dealt with it.

I went to a medium-sized state school where I was always at the top or near the top of my class at just about everything. I don't think this was good for my psyche, because I think 'being the smart guy' is part of my identity now. My intelligence is the one thing that's set me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on. The thought that I will be surrounded by students who are just as smart or smarter than me scares the crap out of me. I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person (in comparison to some of my other friends who will be starting MS-1 with me in the fall) and I don't know where I will stand on the totem pole in med school.

I really want to do well in medical school. I want to work harder than I have ever worked before. But the thought of not being able to keep up or failing despite my best effort scares the **** out of me.

---

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[Flamen04]

You are not alone...
You are not the only one who has felt like this...
You will experience rough moments initially...
You will get used to it...
You might not be at the top of the class anymore...
You will still pass...
You will not fail...

It gets better with time. Change is scary, but good. Who cares if you're not the smartest one in your class? Sorry to say, but it's better for you to realize this now than later... You don't have to be an Einstein to be a doctor. Just gotta work hard brahhh

 

[Doctor Strange]

You're going to be fine.

 

[Distinct]

You are not alone...
It gets better with time. Change is scary, but good. Who cares if you're not the smartest one in your class? Sorry to say, but it's better for you to realize this now than later... You don't have to be an Einstein to be a doctor. Just gotta work hard brahhh

But that's precisely the problem. If everyone really is going through this, then MS-1 is just a cruel social experiment where 90% of students at any time are going to be unhappy or depressed because of their performance...

 

[sinombre]

But that's precisely the problem. If everyone really is going through this, then MS-1 is just a cruel social experiment where 90% of students at any time are going to be unhappy or depressed because of their performance...

If your happiness is rooted in how you compare to other people, you're doing something very wrong.

 

[ChEMD]

Like others have said, you'll be fine. The best advice I can give is to just stay on top of your work. Study every day and don't get behind, I promise this will make everything easier and much less stressful. However, that doesn't mean spend every hour of your life studying either. You need to stay sane too.

One more thing that has taken me a while to learn: don't get stressed the first time you read through new material. It's very easy to get overwhelmed when you read a lecture and have never seen any of it before. Just push through calmly and know that the next couple of times you go through it will be easier.

 

[Distinct]

If your happiness is rooted in how you compare to other people, you're doing something very wrong.

I know I am. It's really sad that I know precisely the problem, yet I cannot change the way I feel. I have talked myself through this a couple of times...but honestly I wouldn't be posting this if it weren't an issue.

 

[Daodejing]

Is this supposed to be sappy? Forgive my dry handkerchief. Welcome to the rest of your life, buddy.

Deriving stress from not being at the top is unhealthy, regardless of what stage of your life you're in. Learn to work harder if you want to reap the fruits of your labor, or accept your place.

And if this comment infuriates you, grow a thicker skin too. You'll need it in a few months.

Oh, and congrats on getting in

 

[DermViser]

My intelligence is the one thing that's set me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on. The thought that I will be surrounded by students who are just as smart or smarter than me scares the crap out of me.

I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person (in comparison to some of my other friends who will be starting MS-1 with me in the fall) and I don't know where I will stand on the totem pole in med school.

THIS HAS TO CHANGE. I know it seems like a sick game, bc in premed all you did was compete against others, and now you have to turn it off like a switch, but at this point on in the game you have to STOP. Talk to a psychologist if you have to, but if you continue to define yourself and your self-worth based on every grade you get, you will go NUTS.

Your mind will be so obsessed with the competitive aspects of things, you won't be able to hone in the information.

You truly need to have other REAL avenues of rest and relaxation. Carry a self-affirmation card telling you what you are good at BESIDES grades.

 

[deleted564496]

I'll be starting MS-1 this July and I'm feeling very anxious. This may sound trivial to you guys, but it really is something that has caused me a lot of stress recently and I'd appreciate some serious feedback and discussion. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this either. I want to know whether you guys ever felt this way and how you dealt with it.

I went to a medium-sized state school where I was always at the top or near the top of my class at just about everything. I don't think this was good for my psyche, because I think 'being the smart guy' is part of my identity now. My intelligence is the one thing that's set me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on. The thought that I will be surrounded by students who are just as smart or smarter than me scares the crap out of me. I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person (in comparison to some of my other friends who will be starting MS-1 with me in the fall) and I don't know where I will stand on the totem pole in med school.

I really want to do well in medical school. I want to work harder than I have ever worked before. But the thought of not being able to keep up or failing despite my best effort scares the **** out of me.

I was in the same boat as you OP and posted the same things as you did…. You need to realize that they chose you for a reason and that even though it's hard to believe right now, it seriously will be fine. I went to small state school and was also always at the top, hell everybody in medical school was at the top in undergraduate, that's why they're here. . I also was not particularly hard working, I was in a BS-MD program and literally did not even study for the MCAT (only required a 24 to get in). . You will become very hard-working when faced with the demands of medical school. If you don't become hard-working, you'll probably fail. NOT TO SCARE YOU! You will adapt, I didn't think that I would be able to, but you just do it.

Don't worry about it right now, enjoy the remaining time you have. Embrace the opportunity that you've been given. Studying and working hard is not the worse thing in the world. You could be working hard at taco bell instead of learning the ins-and-outs of the human body. You will understand what I mean after the first week of medical school. It's challenging, but you will be fine, the admissions people knew what they were doing.

EDIT---Don't go in trying to compare yourself to everybody else, make yourself a goal with where you want to be and go for it. For me I just wanted to be in the top half, I've gone beyond my goal and I'm more than happy. There's no reason to try to be the best. You're going to be around many, many people who are both smarter than you and work harder than you. that's a tough combo to beat.

 

[Apoplexy__]

Congrats on the acceptance OP. Now...

When people so far have said "you'll be fine", I can only assume they're referring to the fact that you'll academically "be fine", in that you won't fail. You'll succeed in the general sense, and you'll have found a way to cope by the end of MS1.

But make no mistake, the first few months of med school are exactly what you're afraid of. I've seen many people get beaten down, and many psyches crushed. I've had to convince friends to go to psychiatrists. The sooner you change your maladaptive tendency to define your identity in comparison to others, the better.

It's unlikely you'll be top of your class. Statistical fact: 50% of all doctors were in the bottom half of their class. The key is not to let that bring you down or demotivate you.

You were probably looking for some precise, practical advise upon posting this. All I can say is that through support of friends/family/spouse, re-evaluation of my goals and perception of myself, and continuous incremental improvement through gradual dedication and sacrifice, I was able to take med school from a terrible experience to a very rewarding one thus far. Now you go and do the same.

 

[DermViser]

It's unlikely you'll be top of your class. Statistical fact: 50% of all doctors were in the bottom half of their class. The key is not to let that bring you down or demotivate you.

Have to disagree with you here. He has 50% chance of being in the top half of his class. Just like everyone else. You brought up the right word: maladaptive with respect to his tendencies. As it's only April, I suggest that he nip that in the bud now.

 

[Distinct]

THIS HAS TO CHANGE. I know it seems like a sick game, bc in premed all you did was compete against others, and now you have to turn it off like a switch, but at this point on in the game you have to STOP. Talk to a psychologist if you have to, but if you continue to define yourself and your self-worth based on every grade you get, you will go NUTS.

Your mind will be so obsessed with the competitive aspects of things, you won't be able to hone in the information.

You truly need to have other REAL avenues of rest and relaxation. Carry a self-affirmation card telling you what you are good at BESIDES grades.

Thanks for this post. I'll work on this now and throughout the summer so that I don't get overwhelmed in the first couple of weeks.

I was in the same boat as you OP and posted the same things as you did…. You need to realize that they chose you for a reason and that even though it's hard to believe right now, it seriously will be fine. I went to small state school and was also always at the top, hell everybody in medical school was at the top in undergraduate, that's why they're here. . I also was not particularly hard working, I was in a BS-MD program and literally did not even study for the MCAT (only required a 24 to get in). . You will become very hard-working when faced with the demands of medical school. If you don't become hard-working, you'll probably fail. NOT TO SCARE YOU! You will adapt, I didn't think that I would be able to, but you just do it.

Don't worry about it right now, enjoy the remaining time you have. Embrace the opportunity that you've been given. Studying and working hard is not the worse thing in the world. You could be working hard at taco bell instead of learning the ins-and-outs of the human body. You will understand what I mean after the first week of medical school. It's challenging, but you will be fine, the admissions people knew what they were doing.

EDIT---Don't go in trying to compare yourself to everybody else, make yourself a goal with where you want to be and go for it. For me I just wanted to be in the top half, I've gone beyond my goal and I'm more than happy. There's no reason to try to be the best. You're going to be around many, many people who are both smarter than you and work harder than you. that's a tough combo to beat.

You're right. I need to develop faith in my ability to rise to the occasion and learn to give it my all for the sake of learning rather than being better than every body else. The focus should be on confidence rather than arrogance/entitlement. The only thing is that setting a goal to be in the top half of your class is contingent upon performing better than half of the other students in your class, right? So isn't that by definition fostering a sense of competition...?

 

[DermViser]

The only thing is that setting a goal to be in the top half of your class is contingent upon performing better than half of the other students in your class, right? So isn't that by definition fostering a sense of competition...?

Yes, but the problem is that by doing this you are spinning your wheels. Worrying constantly about how your exam scores are doing compared to Susie Q who makes it look so "easy" and "always" is in the top of the class (based on what you observe), doesn't help you one bit on your performance, it can only bring your down.

If you go with this mentality into rotations, it will definitely flub you up, bc your demeanor will change, to someone who is 1) always grabbing credit, 2) actively competing against someone on your team, which makes you look like someone who is not a "team player" and is more than ready to throw someone under the bus.
Which then unknowingly sabotages your evaluation.

The biggest key is putting aside your ego when it comes to studying and taking exams, so that the moment you know that something is remiss in how you're studying you do something about it right then or there (tutoring, studying in groups), not letting it fester, and going about it like a lone cowboy.

 

[HopefulReapp]

I'm more stressed about paying the damage my husky did to my current apartment when I move out in a few weeks than I am about starting school. Almost everyone is in the same situation going into medical school... I don't think the academics are anything to stress out about just yet!

 

[HopefulReapp]

Like others have said, you'll be fine. The best advice I can give is to just stay on top of your work. Study every day and don't get behind, I promise this will make everything easier and much less stressful. However, that doesn't mean spend every hour of your life studying either. You need to stay sane too.

One more thing that has taken me a while to learn: don't get stressed the first time you read through new material. It's very easy to get overwhelmed when you read a lecture and have never seen any of it before. Just push through calmly and know that the next couple of times you go through it will be easier.

This is awesome advice and is something that I started to pick up while learning piano recently. All the notes look really complicated but if you just go stanza by stanza and don't stress out, you end up learning the piece. Hopefully it works out for me next year as well!

 

[NickNaylor]

You will adjust once you get into the swing of things. The jump from college to med school is a big one, but you'll get through it as long as you've done your due diligence and have some kind of gut desire to be a physician. It'll be rough the first few weeks, but you'll adjust.

Agreed with the advice about trying to get over where you stand compared to your peers. The faster you can set aside that kind of nonsense the better off you will be. Your approach should be to simply learn as much as you can without allowing yourself to go insane. As long as you're content with the effort you put in and you're at least passing your exams, then you're doing fine.

You might want to ratchet up the intensity if you're seriously considering a competitive specialty, but even then the first few weeks of med school are going to be irrelevant. You will have plenty of time to figure out how to study and what works best for you. People get in trouble when they start ignoring or trying to hide their struggles. If you tackle things head on and get help when you need to, you'll be fine.

Enjoy the rest of your senior year.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Porfirio]

P = MD

Get that tattooed on your ass cheek.

 

[dyspareunia]

I'll be starting MS-1 this July and I'm feeling very anxious. This may sound trivial to you guys, but it really is something that has caused me a lot of stress recently and I'd appreciate some serious feedback and discussion. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this either. I want to know whether you guys ever felt this way and how you dealt with it.

I went to a medium-sized state school where I was always at the top or near the top of my class at just about everything. I don't think this was good for my psyche, because I think 'being the smart guy' is part of my identity now. My intelligence is the one thing that's set me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on. The thought that I will be surrounded by students who are just as smart or smarter than me scares the crap out of me. I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person (in comparison to some of my other friends who will be starting MS-1 with me in the fall) and I don't know where I will stand on the totem pole in med school.

I really want to do well in medical school. I want to work harder than I have ever worked before. But the thought of not being able to keep up or failing despite my best effort scares the **** out of me.

Go get medicated. Not joking.

 

[DermViser]

P = MD

Get that tattooed on your ass cheek.

P=MD, but P does not = Residency

 

[DermViser]

If your happiness is rooted in how you compare to other people, you're doing something very wrong.

Isn't this what the premed game is based on?

 

[DrBodacious]

Get over it. Yes, there are a lot of people just as smart as you, and there are a lot of people smarter than you. If you don't want to be around them, don't go to med school. :b

 

[sinombre]

Isn't this what the premed game is based on?

Exactly. All premeds are doing something very wrong.

 

[Kaputt]

Time for the yearly festering ball of stress from the folks entering med school this fall. "Should I pre-study?" "Will everyone else be smarter than me?" "How many hours a day will I have to study?" "What should I do to get AOA?"

I wonder why I still pop into these forums.

 

[FIREitUP]

there's more to life than grades. I see some of these kids who honored all preclinicals and they have nothing more to offer than a number on a multiple choice exam. focus on being a well rounded person and you will thrive in life and in your clinical rotations. good luck.

 

[DermViser]

Exactly. All premeds are doing something very wrong.

That's how the admissions game works. You're being compared.

 

[NickNaylor]

That's how the admissions game works. You're being compared.

And then, as we weep and gnash our teeth, we wonder why physicians are so damn weird.


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[ArmyTiger]

Time for the yearly festering ball of stress from the folks entering med school this fall. "Should I pre-study?" "Will everyone else be smarter than me?" "How many hours a day will I have to study?" "What should I do to get AOA?"

I wonder why I still pop into these forums.

It's more entertaining than studying for Step.

 

[DermViser]

And then, as we weep and gnash our teeth, we wonder why physicians are so damn weird.

I know right? Med school faculty are just shocked to learn after comparing applicants (many of whom have unmarketable undergrad degrees) and are afforded admission largely based on their MCAT scores and GPAs to get into medical school, along with extracurriculars which are more CV packing than actual realistic exposure to medicine, that med students tend to be overly competitive, anal-retentive, and neurotic. Which we then further encourage in MS-1/MS-2 (through rote memory regurgitation) and on USMLE Step 1,

Then at MS-3, we expect these people whose entire self-worth so far in their lives is on being good studiers and taking multiple choice exams (at the expense of normal social development), to do a complete 180, and all of a sudden be able to smoothly function and interact normally with patients and the healthcare team on MS-3 rotations.

 

[deleted564496]

You're right. I need to develop faith in my ability to rise to the occasion and learn to give it my all for the sake of learning rather than being better than every body else. The focus should be on confidence rather than arrogance/entitlement. The only thing is that setting a goal to be in the top half of your class is contingent upon performing better than half of the other students in your class, right? So isn't that by definition fostering a sense of competition...?

I don't think you need me to tell you that there's a big difference in what you are suggesting versus what I am saying. If anybody is going to hate you for having a goal of wanting to be an above average student, then I would strongly question whether or not I want to be around that person. Everybody in medical school is competitive. We played a little silly jeopardy game last year in one of our "clinical classes" about depression and it seriously got heated. It's fine to be competitive and want to do well, but that doesn't mean you can't still be humble if you are doing well. If you're doing really well just keep it to yourself, don't be "that guy".

Also, if you're basing your happiness off how you're doing versus John/Jane Doe, then that's a problem. There's a big difference being unhappy because you're not doing as well as others versus having a goal of wanting to be an above average medical student. I doubt the person at the bottom of my class is necessarily happy with where they are, but I also guarantee that they are happy that as long as they keep passing, they'll still be a doctor.

 

[Pandaeac]

I know I am. It's really sad that I know precisely the problem, yet I cannot change the way I feel. I have talked myself through this a couple of times...but honestly I wouldn't be posting this if it weren't an issue.

I definitely know what you mean here--I struggle/have struggled with this a LOT. I think it will get better as you go through medical school/residency, etc. Even just with age--over the last 5 years I've noticed it's gotten a lot better for me. You'll slowly just lose interest in and not have enough energy to constantly compare yourself to others. If it continues to be a big problem throughout med school, there's also no shame at all in getting some help (school counselor for example) in dealing with it. Good luck--things really will get better I think

 

[Espadaleader]

Instead of focusing on the differences between your peers focus on the qualities your peers have that could potentially make you a better person. I am excited to be around a bunch of students that can make me better (I won't allow them to make me worse). Also, I know I am more than just a test score. That was never something I measured my self-worth by nor should you.

 

[Psai]

Time for the yearly festering ball of stress from the folks entering med school this fall. "Should I pre-study?" "Will everyone else be smarter than me?" "How many hours a day will I have to study?" "What should I do to get AOA?"

I wonder why I still pop into these forums.

I remember thinking it myself though only two years ago. I feel like it's nice to give back after people gave me so much advice before. It's just bizarre when people with no experience talk back and tell you how they think things are based on nothing but their own opinions and worldview.

 

[Priapism4tooLong]

I don't get how people feel anxiety before med school. i was so cocky before medical school lol. I'm sure everyone has been dominating school before med school. Why feel anxiety? . Although about a couple weeks in i was like Shoot me now. But i never had that anxiety, maybe because i was stupid lol.

Edit: well what i'm trying to say is, have more confidence in yourself, there's a reason you are where you are. Be proud, be happy. Be excited. But be prepared. You'll do well.

 

[Kaputt]

I don't get how people feel anxiety before med school. i was so cocky before medical school lol. I'm sure everyone has been dominating school before med school. Why feel anxiety? . Although about a couple weeks in i was like Shoot me now. But i never had that anxiety, maybe because i was stupid lol.

Edit: well what i'm trying to say is, have more confidence in yourself, there's a reason you are where you are. Be proud, be happy. Be excited. But be prepared. You'll do well.

Definitely agree with the bolded. Everybody who posts these threads has a ginormous case of Imposter Syndrome. Everyone thinks their situation is unique. "I'm used to being top dog, will my life be over if I suddenly become 50th percentile?" "I had poor study habits in college/I was so smart I didn't need to study for tests before in my life, am I going to be eaten alive in med school?" "I didn't take anatomy in college, should I memorize Netter's in the summer before M1?" Etc.

I don't say this to rip on the OP, but just to point out that SO MANY PEOPLE feel exactly the same way that it's essentially a trope at this point.

OP, you got in -- so you're qualified. You will do well like the vast majority of people who enter med school. Your challenges are not unique and never will be unique, and millions of people have gone through the road you're going through. It has been paved very well. You'll do fine as long as you put in the work (which you will do). I know that telling you to relax may fall on deaf ears, but hopefully in a year or two you will realize that med school is not the beach of Normandy. You can succeed and have the semblance of a normal life. It's not that bad.

 

[Kahreek]

first you'll meet your colleagues, you'll be impressed how ******ed some of them are. Others are just plain.
Then midterms will come, you'll be baffled by how some perform. Life goes on.
You will see out of your little bubble, your mind will be blown, life will never be the same, because it is a completely different race.

Son, intelligence or smart wont get you any medals in med school.
Don't go with that mindset to med school, you will be disappointed and depressed.
It is about hard work, solid mind, social skills, emotional sobriety, you can actually get dumber and succeed in med school.

 

[Priapism4tooLong]

first you'll meet your colleagues, you'll be impressed how ******ed some of them are. Others are just plain.
Then midterms will come, you'll be baffled by how some perform. Life goes on.
You will see out of your little bubble, your mind will be blown, life will never be the same, because it is a completely different race.

Son, intelligence or smart wont get you any medals in med school.
Don't go with that mindset to med school, you will be disappointed and depressed.
It is about hard work, solid mind, social skills, emotional sobriety, you can actually get dumber and succeed in med school.

are you saying being smart won't help in medical school?

 

[Kahreek]

if by smart you mean smart enough to study your material in due time. I take my word back.

 

[Distinct]

I definitely know what you mean here--I struggle/have struggled with this a LOT. I think it will get better as you go through medical school/residency, etc. Even just with age--over the last 5 years I've noticed it's gotten a lot better for me. You'll slowly just lose interest in and not have enough energy to constantly compare yourself to others. If it continues to be a big problem throughout med school, there's also no shame at all in getting some help (school counselor for example) in dealing with it. Good luck--things really will get better I think

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm glad that this was taken somewhat seriously by the SDN community, because it's a difficult topic to talk to with anyone. I can't bring up the fact that I felt undergrad was "easy" or that "I didn't have to work as hard as my other friends", etc. to my friends because they'll think I'm a self-absorbed jackass. I tried (and failed) to talk to my girlfriend about it because this isn't something that she can grasp either. I guess I needed to hear this from people who have gone through it.

 

[BestDoctorEver]

I guess I will be the odd man in my class since I am not the most competitive individual. I just want to be average or bit above average.

 

[BestDoctorEver]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm glad that this was taken somewhat seriously by the SDN community, because it's a difficult topic to talk to with anyone. I can't bring up the fact that I felt undergrad was "easy" or that "I didn't have to work as hard as my other friends", etc. to my friends because they'll think I'm a self-absorbed jackass. I tried (and failed) to talk to my girlfriend about it because this isn't something that she can grasp either. I guess I needed to hear this from people who have gone through it.

Relax dude! Enjoy your free time until you start school...

 

[synecdoche]

I'll be starting MS-1 this July and I'm feeling very anxious. This may sound trivial to you guys, but it really is something that has caused me a lot of stress recently and I'd appreciate some serious feedback and discussion. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this either. I want to know whether you guys ever felt this way and how you dealt with it.

I went to a medium-sized state school where I was always at the top or near the top of my class at just about everything. I don't think this was good for my psyche, because I think 'being the smart guy' is part of my identity now. My intelligence is the one thing that's set me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on. The thought that I will be surrounded by students who are just as smart or smarter than me scares the crap out of me. I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person (in comparison to some of my other friends who will be starting MS-1 with me in the fall) and I don't know where I will stand on the totem pole in med school.

I really want to do well in medical school. I want to work harder than I have ever worked before. But the thought of not being able to keep up or failing despite my best effort scares the **** out of me.

1. Don't procrastinate
2. Get a hobby that you find fulfilling and restorative

That's pretty much all you need to do to be happy and relatively successful in med school, I think.

 

[DermViser]

Definitely agree with the bolded. Everybody who posts these threads has a ginormous case of Imposter Syndrome. Everyone thinks their situation is unique. "I'm used to being top dog, will my life be over if I suddenly become 50th percentile?" "I had poor study habits in college/I was so smart I didn't need to study for tests before in my life, am I going to be eaten alive in med school?" "I didn't take anatomy in college, should I memorize Netter's in the summer before M1?" Etc.

I don't say this to rip on the OP, but just to point out that SO MANY PEOPLE feel exactly the same way that it's essentially a trope at this point.

OP, you got in -- so you're qualified. You will do well like the vast majority of people who enter med school. Your challenges are not unique and never will be unique, and millions of people have gone through the road you're going through. It has been paved very well. You'll do fine as long as you put in the work (which you will do). I know that telling you to relax may fall on deaf ears, but hopefully in a year or two you will realize that med school is not the beach of Normandy. You can succeed and have the semblance of a normal life. It's not that bad.

Says the superstar radiologist. I kid, I kid.

 

[Kaputt]

Says the superstar radiologist. I kid, I kid.

Hah, if an idiot like me can do it, proof enough!

 

[Mad Jack]

But that's precisely the problem. If everyone really is going through this, then MS-1 is just a cruel social experiment where 90% of students at any time are going to be unhappy or depressed because of their performance...

I don't think everyone relies quite so much on their relative intelligence and class rank to determine their self worth. Medical school isn't doing this to you, your personal expectations are. What you need is some legit self esteem.

 

[Mad Jack]

Everybody in medical school is competitive. We played a little silly jeopardy game last year in one of our "clinical classes" about depression and it seriously got heated. It's fine to be competitive and want to do well, but that doesn't mean you can't still be humble if you are doing well. If you're doing really well just keep it to yourself, don't be "that guy".

I can't be worried about that ****. Life goes on. Kind of curious how a laid back guy like myself is going to do in school. I mean, I work hard, but I just don't give a damn about competition with my classmates. It just feels as if people that don't have any real meaning or purpose in their lives aside from their place in medical school get lost in it, almost obsessed. It's sad to think about just what kind of existence it must be, when the entirety of your self worth is fluctuating from test to test.

Medicine isn't the most important thing in the world. Happiness is. Don't hinge the latter on successes in the former, or you'll just be setting yourself up for misery.

 

[Ruskithin]

I'll be starting MS-1 this July and I'm feeling very anxious. This may sound trivial to you guys, but it really is something that has caused me a lot of stress recently and I'd appreciate some serious feedback and discussion. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this either. I want to know whether you guys ever felt this way and how you dealt with it.

I went to a medium-sized state school where I was always at the top or near the top of my class at just about everything. I don't think this was good for my psyche, because I think 'being the smart guy' is part of my identity now. My intelligence is the one thing that's set me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on. The thought that I will be surrounded by students who are just as smart or smarter than me scares the crap out of me. I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person (in comparison to some of my other friends who will be starting MS-1 with me in the fall) and I don't know where I will stand on the totem pole in med school.

I really want to do well in medical school. I want to work harder than I have ever worked before. But the thought of not being able to keep up or failing despite my best effort scares the **** out of me.

Hi! My 2 cents...
There is a reason why older, more seasoned professionals (across all disciplines, not limited to medicine) extol the virtues of "failure." Among it's many benefits, experiencing failure reveals to you your most authentic self and provides a catalyst for personal growth and development. Reading your statement of "I was always at the top or near the top of my class/I'm not a particularly resilient or hardworking person," it's hardly a surprise that you're terrified of "failing despite my best effort." It seems that your education has, in-so-far, required you only to tap the superficial layers of your ability; having not experienced any real (academic) challenges, how on earth do you know what you are or are not capable of? Unfortunately, the answer to this question lies in actually facing said challenges. My point here is that your fear of failure is not a premonition of any actual failure to come. There is absolutely nothing indicating that you will not excel in your med school studies.

In terms of comparing yourself to others, I believe this can serve as a powerful motivator. Just don't OD on it! Keep in mind that, (1) people put in extraordinary effort to present their best self to the outside world, (2) there will always be someone who is envious of YOUR life and (3) finishing first (or last, for that matter) in your med school class is no guarantee of long-term career satisfaction, quality of life, or overall success.

Some practical advice...
1) You mention "being the smart guy is part of my identity/ being surrounded by students who are as smart or smarter scares me." First, being surrounded by smart people doesn't make you any less smart. You wouldn't want to be #1 in a class of idiots by virtue of being the "least stupid," now would you? Use this concentrated pool of academically-gifted students as a stimulus and a resource to better yourself.

2) You say, "my intelligence is the one thing that set's me apart and one of the only things that I've been able to rely on." This is true for most everybody. However, please note that intelligence has never yet inoculated anyone against failure. Even the most intelligent doctors fail to save patients and the most intelligent scientists fail in their research etc, and this happens everyday. If you aren't performing at the level you want to, enlist the help of professors, tutors, current and older med students to help you develop your study strategy. Be pro-active in seeking out help if/when you should need to.

3) Access your school's mental health services to deal with any anxiety and other emotions you may experience.

4) Find someone with a sense of humor and lobby to be his/her best friend. It's cheesy, I know, but laughter really is the best medicine. When I started med school I was feeling so anxious. During our first lecture I sat next to a girl I'd never met and, before the professor started, I just blurted out, "Oh my god, what if I'm too dumb to do this?" She turns to me and, in the same tone of voice, says, "Oh my god, what if I'm actually a genius and don't know it?" I think you'll find most med students are in this range: not too dumb but not geniuses either. Therefore, while med school is obscenely difficult at times, it is not an insurmountable obstacle. You'll be just fine.

 

[mdambitions]

I'm definitely anxious about starting medical school, but for different reasons. Though I was shocked at first given my lower than average MCAT, ultimately my school accepted ME. With all of their wisdom and experience and knowing just about everything there is to know about me, they agreed I have the potential to become a doctor. Wow. What a freaking amazing opportunity.

Still...I'm nervous, in spite of all of our preparation, about how my husband will adjust to being the primary caregiver to our daughter. I'm anxious that I'll drift apart from my friends and family outside of medical school and lose my support system. I'm worried I will lose "myself" in the process of devoting my life to medicine. I think these are valid concerns I should be prepared to address.

But, I am not worried about being the smartest person or the lowest scoring person in class. I just want to adjust as well as possible and be the best version of myself. I'm not worried about failing; very, very few people fail out of medical school and I've worked too hard to allow myself to fail now.

Just try to stay focused on the bigger picture. Get out this summer and get some perspective. Remember that we're about to be surrounded by a group of people, composed entirely of motivated and ambitious professionals. Be the person who seeks advice from the person/people outscoring you, instead of being threatened by them. You can learn SO much from the people around you if you stop comparing yourself to others' experiences.

I may be in the minority here, but given how many hoops we have to jump through (rightfully so) to get to medical school, I think medical school should be more collaborative and less cutthroat than some people make it out to be. At least that's the mentality that I'll try to foster. Notice I didn't say "less competitive". Competition is great, but nobody is out to get you, to sabotage you, or to try to make you fail. Well, maybe there are a few toxic characters running around, but you'll probably be able to spot them and steer clear. Karma will take care of them eventually. Just consistently try to be better than you were before, and your experience can only end well. And breathe. Don't forget to breathe.

 

[rigid]

My only advice is to keep focussed and don't get overwhelmed - Medicine teaches you things by throwing you into the deep end and once you finally learn to swim you are expected to be an Olympian Diver. The expectations of you are always far ahead of your ability and it will feel like an eternal struggle of playing catch up, so just do your best.

 

[loltopsy]

THIS HAS TO CHANGE. I know it seems like a sick game, bc in premed all you did was compete against others, and now you have to turn it off like a switch, but at this point on in the game you have to STOP. Talk to a psychologist if you have to, but if you continue to define yourself and your self-worth based on every grade you get, you will go NUTS.

Your mind will be so obsessed with the competitive aspects of things, you won't be able to hone in the information.

You truly need to have other REAL avenues of rest and relaxation. Carry a self-affirmation card telling you what you are good at BESIDES grades.

I know someone who, when he realized he was not going to get straight honors for the year, broke down crying. One high pass caused that, and he's not even interested in any competitive specialties.