- Joined
- Sep 26, 2005
- Messages
- 446
- Reaction score
- 4
I just thought that I would use this forum as a place to dispel certain preconcieved notions people might have about members of the GOP
Myth: Republicans eat children.
Truth: While for centuries this was an established custom of conservatives world wide, in recent years, following the edicts of chief potentate Scalia have greatly diminished this practice. In place of children, many Republicans have substituted puppies and newborn kittens.
Myth: Conservatives take seats from more qualified liberals and independents.
Truth: Using statistical data taken from a survey my best friend Nelson and I just did at lunch, I can state that this is certainly false. Of the 20 people we say walking around the cafeteria who looked like med students, only 2 looked like they were Republicans. And they looked very qualified, as they had both bookbags and cell phones.
Myth: Republicans only enter medicine so that the dark lord will have a stranglehold on human helathcare when he makes his triumphant return from the outer realms.
Truth: The real reason Republicans enter medicine is so that they can have a base from which to attack their only natural predator-trial lawyers.
Myth: Republicans in government are responsible for the dropoff in funding rates for science in recent years.
Truth: Republicans all over are firmly committed to the basic tenents of science and exploration. Or perhaps you don't believe that military science is really science! That's just being quite arrogant on your part. Anyone not doing medicine isn't a real scientist? Pfft. There's a whole lot of strategery going on in them there wars. And what about Creation Science? I mean it says science right in the name!
Myth: Republicans eat children.
Truth: While for centuries this was an established custom of conservatives world wide, in recent years, following the edicts of chief potentate Scalia have greatly diminished this practice. In place of children, many Republicans have substituted puppies and newborn kittens.
Myth: Conservatives take seats from more qualified liberals and independents.
Truth: Using statistical data taken from a survey my best friend Nelson and I just did at lunch, I can state that this is certainly false. Of the 20 people we say walking around the cafeteria who looked like med students, only 2 looked like they were Republicans. And they looked very qualified, as they had both bookbags and cell phones.
Myth: Republicans only enter medicine so that the dark lord will have a stranglehold on human helathcare when he makes his triumphant return from the outer realms.
Truth: The real reason Republicans enter medicine is so that they can have a base from which to attack their only natural predator-trial lawyers.
Myth: Republicans in government are responsible for the dropoff in funding rates for science in recent years.
Truth: Republicans all over are firmly committed to the basic tenents of science and exploration. Or perhaps you don't believe that military science is really science! That's just being quite arrogant on your part. Anyone not doing medicine isn't a real scientist? Pfft. There's a whole lot of strategery going on in them there wars. And what about Creation Science? I mean it says science right in the name!