Hello, I'm a student from Asia. I finished high school two years ago and had to do a gap year in order to retake Mathematics, Physics and Advanced Mathematics to qualify myself for acceptance into science based fields. Ever since I was a child, I was given a headstart in English by my parents as well as other skills such as ballet and dance (which I dropped due to a lack of interest and appreciation). I did however latch on to English and the liking to help others as my mother was involved in lots of charity projects and I would be brought along to 'help out'.
My grades in Mathematics have always been bad (Fs to Bs) while Physics and Chemistry have been in the (Ds to As) range. On the other hand, I have never been bad at English, Biology or other humanities/art/sociology related subjects and as I got older never really had to try very hard to score well. However, I am facing a sort of crisis as I am not sure what I want to do and I am feeling quite lost at the moment.
One reason is that I am unsure whether I truly want to do medicine or another science based career or something completely different. My parents, especially my mother wants me to be a doctor because of the command that I would have with such a degree and also because she believes it is a gateway to better opportunities for me and a chance to leave the country. I do not disagree with her and I do realize that she puts tremendous effort into whipping me up into a decent person. I know that it is alot of money to send me to Medical School as well.
Secondly, I don't have alot of confidence in myself and my ability to acheive the grades needed. This is mainly because I always struggle with the 'hard' science subjects especially Mathematics and in this part of the world, grades are still everything when it comes to getting into a course. This year I entered a foundation course offered by a University with MBBS acreditation in another country. I felt confident that I would work hard and get through it with flying colours. Afterall it was a foundation year and the easiest compared to ALevels. I was very wrong. Mathematics was passable. In my first semester I managed a C which disappointed me but I did not feel too bad as I was feverish at the time. Chemistry on the other hand was a nightmare. I kept failing and I realized how much basic knowledge I had forgotten in my gap year. As my course was assignment based I struggled to juggle all the subjects together and ended up just passing Chemistry, C in Math and As in Bio and English. In my second semester I continued the next units in those subjects but Chemistry was worse as it required application of knowledge and I struggled despite taking extra tuition. In the end my average results are subpar and I failed Mathematics of all things and must retake another semester to bulk my grades up to even the requirements for pharmacy. As I cannot retake two Chemistry units together, making it to MBBS in this Uni seems out of the question already. I need an 85% overall and at this point even with 90s in all 3 retake subjects (which is questionable) I might not clinch a spot. Knowing this makes me despair as I put in emotional stiffling and avoided coping hobbies such as writing to make it through the year. Just like the gap year before, it made me question whether I should really be doing MBBS. My parents are starting to say that realistically all I'm good for is a low paying job and marriage as I can't even handle myself.
I have to admit that while I do really like English (writing, literature, philosophy) and humanities/sociology/psychology/arts, I have no idea what to expect as job prospects here in Asia are glum and I am afraid that my parents would be right in thinking that I really can't manage anything science-related. I don't absolutely love science but I don't hate it either. I do enjoy Biology and I do like to learn, I just dislike exams. I am afraid that if I simply give up I will miss a rewarding career or subspecialty (I have intrests in psychiatry and research work).
I am running out of options and ways to chase my grades up. I feel lost and afraid about the future. I'm very sorry about going on and on about my fears but I don't really have anyone to turn to for help and I'm feeling a little burnt out. Any advice?
My grades in Mathematics have always been bad (Fs to Bs) while Physics and Chemistry have been in the (Ds to As) range. On the other hand, I have never been bad at English, Biology or other humanities/art/sociology related subjects and as I got older never really had to try very hard to score well. However, I am facing a sort of crisis as I am not sure what I want to do and I am feeling quite lost at the moment.
One reason is that I am unsure whether I truly want to do medicine or another science based career or something completely different. My parents, especially my mother wants me to be a doctor because of the command that I would have with such a degree and also because she believes it is a gateway to better opportunities for me and a chance to leave the country. I do not disagree with her and I do realize that she puts tremendous effort into whipping me up into a decent person. I know that it is alot of money to send me to Medical School as well.
Secondly, I don't have alot of confidence in myself and my ability to acheive the grades needed. This is mainly because I always struggle with the 'hard' science subjects especially Mathematics and in this part of the world, grades are still everything when it comes to getting into a course. This year I entered a foundation course offered by a University with MBBS acreditation in another country. I felt confident that I would work hard and get through it with flying colours. Afterall it was a foundation year and the easiest compared to ALevels. I was very wrong. Mathematics was passable. In my first semester I managed a C which disappointed me but I did not feel too bad as I was feverish at the time. Chemistry on the other hand was a nightmare. I kept failing and I realized how much basic knowledge I had forgotten in my gap year. As my course was assignment based I struggled to juggle all the subjects together and ended up just passing Chemistry, C in Math and As in Bio and English. In my second semester I continued the next units in those subjects but Chemistry was worse as it required application of knowledge and I struggled despite taking extra tuition. In the end my average results are subpar and I failed Mathematics of all things and must retake another semester to bulk my grades up to even the requirements for pharmacy. As I cannot retake two Chemistry units together, making it to MBBS in this Uni seems out of the question already. I need an 85% overall and at this point even with 90s in all 3 retake subjects (which is questionable) I might not clinch a spot. Knowing this makes me despair as I put in emotional stiffling and avoided coping hobbies such as writing to make it through the year. Just like the gap year before, it made me question whether I should really be doing MBBS. My parents are starting to say that realistically all I'm good for is a low paying job and marriage as I can't even handle myself.
I have to admit that while I do really like English (writing, literature, philosophy) and humanities/sociology/psychology/arts, I have no idea what to expect as job prospects here in Asia are glum and I am afraid that my parents would be right in thinking that I really can't manage anything science-related. I don't absolutely love science but I don't hate it either. I do enjoy Biology and I do like to learn, I just dislike exams. I am afraid that if I simply give up I will miss a rewarding career or subspecialty (I have intrests in psychiatry and research work).
I am running out of options and ways to chase my grades up. I feel lost and afraid about the future. I'm very sorry about going on and on about my fears but I don't really have anyone to turn to for help and I'm feeling a little burnt out. Any advice?
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