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You are very, very wrong.
Female medical student and feeling like I will be forever alone
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Nope, I have no thoughts, good or bad, about the poster who made that comment.
Again, I think most of you are talking about very young women. Women in their teens and 20s are notorious for this kind of behavior. The fact that the OP is in her early 20s and is bemoaning the fact that she will "foreverbealone" because she hasn't found a mate yet is ridiculous and you're right - she is looking for people to tell her that she is lovable and dateable.
When *most* women mature, they gain confidence and self-assurance. I've experienced it myself and I hear it everyday from patients as they talk about aging. We don't need others to define us, tell us we're beautiful or desirable.
Young men also lack confidence in dating relationships. Its not that the alpha males get all the girls because they treat them like ****, its because the young woman misinterprets that as confidence and power. Frankly, young men are just as guilty. I'll bet every woman here has a nice male friend who is crazy about some bitchy girl who treats him horribly. Yet he keeps going back for more.
As for the "crazy = better in bed", my male friends tell me that is only true in very young women. By the time most women are over 30, the are confident enough to feel comfortable asking for what they want and having a freer sexual experience. The crazy ones are usually fairly psychologically damaged by that time, that they become less and less attractive to potential partners. The exceptions end up on reality shows, with equally psychologically damaged males.
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True, ~50% divorce rate would claim otherwise.
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Nope, I have no thoughts, good or bad, about the poster who made that comment.
Again, I think most of you are talking about very young women. Women in their teens and 20s are notorious for this kind of behavior. The fact that the OP is in her early 20s and is bemoaning the fact that she will "foreverbealone" because she hasn't found a mate yet is ridiculous and you're right - she is looking for people to tell her that she is lovable and dateable.
When *most* women mature, they gain confidence and self-assurance. I've experienced it myself and I hear it everyday from patients as they talk about aging. We don't need others to define us, tell us we're beautiful or desirable.
Young men also lack confidence in dating relationships. Its not that the alpha males get all the girls because they treat them like ****, its because the young woman misinterprets that as confidence and power. Frankly, young men are just as guilty. I'll bet every woman here has a nice male friend who is crazy about some bitchy girl who treats him horribly. Yet he keeps going back for more.
As for the "crazy = better in bed", my male friends tell me that is only true in very young women. By the time most women are over 30, the are confident enough to feel comfortable asking for what they want and having a freer sexual experience. The crazy ones are usually fairly psychologically damaged by that time, that they become less and less attractive to potential partners. The exceptions end up on reality shows, with equally psychologically damaged males.
Good response. I just wanted let people know. People aren't angels, men or women. And that OP is using this forum as a emotional tool because 99% of guys around her in medical school doesn't have time for that **** (sorry I had too). But then again, good post.
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I agree with you completely!
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I was in the same boat until recently. It gets even worse the more we think about it. After quiet a bit of introspection what I discovered (in my case) was that it was not really about relationship(s), I was running on empty emotionally because I was not performing up to my expectations in terms of academics, leading to frustration, which affected other aspects of my personality too.
Don't worry about that. You are still young and have a lot of time ahead. You'll find an amazing person sometime soon and share an amazing life with him.
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Where did I say that they weren't attracted to bad boys? What I said was that they aren't attracted to people who pretend to be something they're not. A nice dude reading some pickup garbage online and faking it is going to fail so much harder than if he were just himself. Girls do not like to be treated like garbage. Sure, a lot of them like to be dominated in bed (even the super feminist ones), but trust me they do not *like* being called names or watching you flirt with other hot girls. They may stick around for a while because they want your approval and attention, but they are miserable because of the way you treat them. Yeah, they seem to prefer to cling onto a guy like this for a while whereas the nice guy who is constantly showering them with gifts and available at the drop of the hat, well, his approval isn't really worth much since he has given it all away from the get go. In the end, most girls will not marry the guy who treat them badly. Young women, especially hot girls who have a flock of guys around them at all times, are insecure and will seek out the guy that establishes their value the most -- the best looking guy who is most popular with other good looking males. Eventually, after 5-10 years of riding the cock carousel and getting treated like dirt, most of them move beyond this high school mentality and give the nicer, less attractive guy a chance and constantly complain about how horrible their ex'es were. They usually marry the first one they get their hands on. Dr. nice guy probably has no idea he's number 20 or so.
BTDT. Echoes my thoughts above. The insecurity wears off as they age and no longer feel the need to only be seen with older more attractive men or stay in relationships where they are treated poorly or aren't headed the direction most of them want (marriage+babies)
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This is post is really optimistic. I really hope you find and/or keep a good girl and don't become a ****old. Even good looking people who are famous and rich get cheated on. I remember being told a story about a older woman who got pregnant by a an underage 15 year old boy. The boy cheated on her with 15 different girls. So what did she do? Well, she broke up with him, then proceeded to enter into sexless relationship with a "nice guy" her age to take care of the baby, and after a couple of months, is now currently texting and talking to the underage boy again. How do I know this? From the underage age boy who I randomly met on a greyhound bus who showed me all of the pics and text messages
. I have more stories but you get the point. Believe me, people are more twisted and selfish than you think. Women are insecure to the day they die. Don't believe the hype about growing out of their insecurity seriously. Your only saving grace is finding someone who really likes you for you. Forget about the maturity crap. That's female propaganda. Matter fact, your whole argument is what a female playa playa would say. Just please don't be a beta that's all.
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This is post is really optimistic. I really hope you find and/or keep a good girl and don't become a ****old. Even good looking people who are famous and rich get cheated on. I remember being told a story about a older woman who got pregnant by a an underage 15 year old boy. The boy cheated on her with 15 different girls. So what did she do? Well, she broke up with him, then proceeded to enter into sexless relationship with a "nice guy" her age to take care of the baby, and after a couple of months, is now currently texting and talking to the underage boy again. How do I know this? From the underage age boy who I randomly met on a greyhound bus who showed me all of the pics and text messages
You do realize that just as there are nice guys that get ignored by the girls looking for the hot guys, there are nice girls waiting in the back. Yeah, people are stupid in general, but that doesn't mean that every single woman is going to cheat on the nice guy she manages to snag or visa versa.
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I am a woman with a lot of dating experience. What you say is true. Quite the insight, dude!
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I never said every single woman is going to cheat. That's why I said "I really hope you find and/or keep a good girl and don't become a ****old....Your only saving grace is finding someone who really likes you for you." The persons post I was responding to was thefritz who was saying hot girls aka one who has a lot of guys chase her, become mature and settle with the nice guy. And I said that was naïve which it is. Just go for a girl with good morals and that applies to friends too and you'll be fine. That's all I'm saying. I'm also saying OP is a fraud who is taking most of these guys in this thread for a ride which im trying to help make you all aware of. See I'm really trying to help not hurt.
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Pretty sure the nice guy is failing really hard just by "being himself." I doubt that pickup could make his situation any worse.
Thanks for yoru opinion but I'm not looking for people to tell me that I am "lovable" and "dateable." Don't know where you pulled out that nonsense but that is one of the lamest comments I have come across reading through this forum. I was simply hoping to hear some opinions or similar experiences but obviously, it is being taken in a completely different direction.
I am not insecure and I don't need a man to boost my confidence. Actually, I am not willing to invest my valuable time into a dead end relationship, just because I am "alone." If that was the case, I would have jumped on the chance to have a relationship with the first guy that came my way and showed interest.
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Wtf does that even mean? And I was hoping to hear from other FEMALE students. I wasn't looking for "you want me to blow your booboo" from guys in this forum.
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If I was wrong about you and your motivations, I apologize. But I think you have to give my education and personal and professional experience in this some credence. I was hardly the only one to express that concern here.
None of my college friends were pre-med; very few went to graduate school. So I too watched them all marry, buy homes, and have families while I stayed unmarried, childless and renting apartments while in medical school. But never once did I think I was destined to be "forever alone".
And that is what you received. If you expected everyone to commiserate with you and only offer opinions which you agree with, then you need to be talking with your family and friends. Most of us are on SDN because we sincerely want to help but that means being honest when someone asks for advice.
Frankly one of the lamest things I've seen on this forum is a presumably intelligent and attractive young woman expressing the thoughts that you did in your very first paragraph. Since when does being single in your early 20s translate to being alone forever? Life is long. You may not meet your perfect man until you're 30, 40 or even older. That may not be ideal for you but some things in life are worth waiting for.
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Im sorry but actions speak louder than words especially with women. And what you say in your first post is self-contradicting which is why going by your actions matter so much more ( like posting this stuff in the first place).
You say "I've been single for 2 years and seems like that trend will continue. I mean, I don't even want a boyfriend or want to be tied up." But then you mention "Med school just sucks in the dating scene." So you saying there is no one single you want date in medical school. That's cool OP. But you have everyone thinking that the world is wronging you and people thinking that everyone treats you like your ugly. I understand you want a guy who you can look up to. But don't go around miss leading people that you aren't as shallow as the next person. I mean saying "I am not willing to invest my valuable time into a dead end relationship..." says more about you then anything. A lot of people on this forum want to help you. Seriously, these people are very emphatic and caring. But I feel your misleading them when I really think its a personal problem.
Thanks for your opinion. I do agree with that last sentence. But to be honest, I would be lying to myself if I kept telling myself that I will DEFINITELY find someone. When I am done with medical school and residency, I will be nearing 40 and most likely living an even busier life than the one I currently live.
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Nope, I have no thoughts, good or bad, about the poster who made that comment.
Again, I think most of you are talking about very young women. Women in their teens and 20s are notorious for this kind of behavior. The fact that the OP is in her early 20s and is bemoaning the fact that she will "foreverbealone" because she hasn't found a mate yet is ridiculous and you're right - she is looking for people to tell her that she is lovable and dateable.
When *most* women mature, they gain confidence and self-assurance. I've experienced it myself and I hear it everyday from patients as they talk about aging. We don't need others to define us, tell us we're beautiful or desirable.
Young men also lack confidence in dating relationships. Its not that the alpha males get all the girls because they treat them like ****, its because the young woman misinterprets that as confidence and power. Frankly, young men are just as guilty. I'll bet every woman here has a nice male friend who is crazy about some bitchy girl who treats him horribly. Yet he keeps going back for more.
As for the "crazy = better in bed", my male friends tell me that is only true in very young women. By the time most women are over 30, the are confident enough to feel comfortable asking for what they want and having a freer sexual experience. The crazy ones are usually fairly psychologically damaged by that time, that they become less and less attractive to potential partners. The exceptions end up on reality shows, with equally psychologically damaged males.
So what...? Only relevant if older women are all you can get.
When you were in your 20's did you want to have sex with women in their 30's??? Taking it a step further, I don't see myself ever desiring women over 26 years old as much as I do younger, perkier, and firmer gals.
I suppose anything is possibly but when I'm in my 30's I think I'll still prefer to have sex with women in their 20's...
I don't understand what you read into my "action" of posting this in this forum.
If there was anyone worth dating here (med school), I would be dating.
Med school sucks in the dating scene because there are only limited opportunities to meet new people.
I am not making people think that the world is wronging me.
I do not feel that people treat me like I am ugly.
I never made any comments about shallowness in hopes of misleading others into thinking I am not.
I am not willing to be in a relationship with a guy who has no other interest than to bang me.
And not to attack but why are all your posts so fraught with grammatical errors? Are you really a medical student?
And SDNers are one of the most sarcastic group of people I know.
And I believe you are reading way too much into my words. You must have one hell of a time taking multiple choice exams.
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You hit the nail on the head. Guys are going to always want the younger girl.
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Op if I was your bf I'd never let you go.
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OP, go into Derm if you have the scores or Psych if you don't, you won't be TOO busy when you're in your 30s.
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Ok, Ok relax. No one knew you were in your 30s. Everyone thought you were in your 20s. This should be in the non-trad forum don't you think? The reason I responded because of everyone's reaction on this thread. You have a whole bunch of 20 year olds saying they would take you on a date despite the fact them not knowing your 30 plus. If this the case, then the situation is totally different. I'm not going to say anything anymore.......
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This is post is really optimistic. I really hope you find and/or keep a good girl and don't become a ****old. Even good looking people who are famous and rich get cheated on. I remember being told a story about a older woman who got pregnant by a an underage 15 year old boy. The boy cheated on her with 15 different girls. So what did she do? Well, she broke up with him, then proceeded to enter into sexless relationship with a "nice guy" her age to take care of the baby, and after a couple of months, is now currently texting and talking to the underage boy again. How do I know this? From the underage age boy who I randomly met on a greyhound bus who showed me all of the pics and text messages
This misc crap gets old after awhile. It's like anytime a relationship thread pops up the Zyzz fanboys come out of the woodwork. If someone said "don't be a beta" to me IRL I'd laugh in their face, it just sounds ridiculous.
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Why do you have to wait until you're done with medical school and residency to find someone? You don't know when you will find love. It can happen quite unexpectedly.
There's no need to tell yourself you will DEFINITELY find someone. The vast majority of people who want to be in a relationship eventually find themselves in one. There's no reason to think that you will be an outlier. Jeebus if Mama June can find Sugar Bear, you can find someone.
(and if you're in your early 20s and an MS-2, what sort of training are you planning that will leave you "nearing 40" by the time you're done? At worst, you will be in your early to mid 30s.)
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No.
When I was in my 20s, I preferred having sex with men. Still do.
Always have, as a heterosexual female.
That may very well be true for you although you may be surprised at how things change as you age. Even if you don't, there are plenty of men who are attracted to women over 26 and some even prefer older women (and not all of us are lacking perkiness and firmness. I am personally in much better physical shape than ALL of the mid-20s girls working for me).
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This thread and the OP = 
This thread and the OP =
The thread and OP = providing some Sunday evening amusement, no?
Not always true, only true 99.5% of the time.
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No.
When I was in my 20s, I preferred having sex with men. Still do.
Always have, as a heterosexual female.
That may very well be true for you although you may be surprised at how things change as you age. Even if you don't, there are plenty of men who are attracted to women over 26 and some even prefer older women (and not all of us are lacking perkiness and firmness. I am personally in much better physical shape than ALL of the mid-20s girls working for me).
Oh good god Winged Scapula is a freak in bed. I would have never guessed. That whole bit about being better in bed and women knowing what they want... you were talking about yourself.
EXCELLENT
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This thread is annoying.
For every guy attracted to a hot 20-25 for her looks there is a girl attracted to a guy for his bank accounts or *gasp* even his looks.
Guys and girls are equally vain. But in different ways, yes.
For every guy attracted to a hot 20-25 for her looks there is a girl attracted to a guy for his bank accounts or *gasp* even his looks.
Guys and girls are equally vain. But in different ways, yes.
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People hate what they can't bang. I honestly felt the same way at one point in my life. Then I started working out and acting like a jerk. True story
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I agree though the bank account is far less important than looks. If anything the bank account is like the MCAT score which qualifies you for an interview.
Also, many men fail to derive the same sense of accomplishment (?conquest) from banging a gold digger and consequently avoid such relationships.
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No, he's right.
Most women (and men) are *****s when they're young. They just don't realize it until they get older.
I know - I was one once.
Does it really stop after 25? Damn... some hope for the future then
BTDT, learned my lesson. When the girl is a 10/10 model she can get you to believe the most ridiculous crap. If you start to question one of her unbelievable stories, out come the water works and you're feeling like the bad guy for not completely accepting her story about getting drunk at a party and going back home with some guy but it was ok because she slept on the couch. This goes for everybody out there in a relationship right now: if something doesn't quite feel right about what he/she is saying/doing, listen to your gut. Your instincts (and your friends and family who can see what you can't) are almost always right. Don't let yourself be made to feel bad for having them.
No. It will fail. It's like a dog chasing a car. What the hell are you gonna do with it when you get it? A nice guy can pretend to be a player but he can't change who he is at heart. To successfully be an *******, you actually have to be an *******. Imagine the nice dude going up to some hot girl at the bar and giving her a shot of water and telling her she's got to earn a real drink, or some other lame ******* move. First of all, he's probably trembling and can't remember the lines correctly he read on the internet, and when she gets mad he'll revert back to his old self "so sorry, so sorry here's a real drink, i was just kidding" or just run away and cry. And back to my dog chasing a car analogy, suppose the stars line up and the nice guy actually manages to pull off the ******* routine of ignoring the girl and flirting with her hotter friends and gets her back to his place, he's either going to not go through with it because he really is a nice guy, or he's going to want to marry her the next morning and scare her away.
So much better for the guy to put forth his real personality and just do it CONFIDENTLY and not be afraid of rejection.
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Many of my female preceptors are 40+ and alone, with no family nearby so they live alone (with their cat/dog). I didn't have the guts to ask them if they regret becoming a doctor, but I often wonder. They seem like normal females, and are attractive for their age. Yet they seem so miserable and take their misery out upon me. So I wonder.
This is something I see on this website a lot and took me a while to figure out myself. How much money you have matters very little (at least when you're in your 20s). So many posts from (usually foreign) students coming to med school because they want a girl. What matters is status. No amount of money can make up for acting like a loser. Go ahead and roll up to your first social in med school in your dad's Bentley. When everyone learns that you can't hold a conversation involving anything other than what residency you want to go into, spend 10 hours a day playing world of warcraft, and haven't exercised since gym class in 10th grade, nobody will care that you have a 50 million dollar trust fund. All the girls will be interested in the poor, but good-looking fit personable guy with the smoking hot girlfriend. Btw, and I'm not making this up -- the single most effective thing to make yourself attractive to girls is having a supermodel around your arm (they subconsciously think that if they can get around your arm, then that makes them better than your current ms. tenouttaten - and that's the status they crave). Having a ton of money is way, way down the list on things that matter. True golddiggers are actually pretty rare. It's funny to watch rich guys utterly fail at relationships because they think that every girl is after their money, then at the same time get frustrated when they can't pick up chicks by bragging about their inheritance.
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For what it's worth - I'm a single, attractive female med student and I feel the same way all the time
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Bit of a MILF Hunter, eh?
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Way too much jersey shore in this thread, I miss the waltons
