Funny attending/chief resident quotes

[KSDeacon]

Attending: You aren't married, are you?

Me: Uh, no...

Attending: Didn't think so. You're smiling and much too happy.

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[drfamilymed]

Student: How long after vaginal delivery can the woman have sex again?
OBGYN Attending: Well, if you wanted to be a real gentleman, you'd wait until the placenta was delivered

 

[Siverhideo1985]

Student: How long after vaginal delivery can the woman have sex again?
OBGYN Attending: Well, if you wanted to be a real gentleman, you'd wait until the placenta was delivered

hahaha

Loud enough for the entire ED to hear (including three other attendings) "99% of my problems are caused by my idiot colleagues!"....love this guy.

 

[Siverhideo1985]

Talking about a get together at one of the MDs
Nurse: "Do you have a Wii?"
MD: "Of course I do!"
Nurse: "Really? Like the video game console?"
MD: "Huh? No. I thought you said weed"

 

[SB100]

OBGYN Attending: Do you know why my wife had three Cesareans for my three boys?
Me: No, why?
OBGYN Attending: Penile dystocia.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Conversation overheard while I was a medical student on a urology rotation between the urologist (male) and an 88 year old patient.


Doc: So you are having problem urinating?
PT: Yes, been getting worse over the past few months
Doc: Are you still sexually active?
PT: No, if only to be 80 again. Sigh......
Doc: Dude, sex still at 80? You ROCK!!!


Different patient. Man up in stirrups getting prepped for TURP. Urologist notices how tight the foreskin is, major phimosis.

Doc: Ever thought about getting circumsized, that cap is pretty tight.
PT: No, only bothers the women but once they get their lips around it, it all tastes the same.


Really? We were all howling on that one.


It was like that everyday. Probably the best rotation I was ever on. Urology OR is a pretty fun place.

 

[rosetyler]

Circulating nurse to me: "You do know about groping don't you?" (OR full of women and we had gotten on the subject of the weird things circulating nurses sometimes have to do for surgeons. It was in reference to male surgeons who forget to take their pagers off before putting their gowns on and then ask the circulator to reach around and grab it when it goes off during the case)
Attending (who also happens to be the clerkship director): bursts out laughing - "I'm pretty sure that that is one of the questions we are NOT allowed to ask our med students."
Circulating nurse: "well I just want to make sure she knows! She's only 25, and she's been in school for how long? She might not!"
Attending: "She's married...."

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Attending: "HELLOOOO--O---O---OOOOO.......anybody in there?...in there?.....in there?....."
(attending with hands cupped in front of mask shouting into gaping hole left by axillary dissection of particularly obese patient).

 

[namnai]

.

 

[sanityonleave]

In the OB prenatal clinic this week -- a couple gems:

from one of the NPs in clinic: "I swear I'm just going to put a bowl full of Flagyl in the waiting room. They'll be like M&Ms -- everyone can just take a handful before they even come in to see me."

Me, during a pelvic: "Would you like me to do a wet prep?"
NP: "Nah, that's okay."
.. out in the hallway
NP: "Honey, you could diagnose her based on smell alone from the hallway -- you didn't need to do a wet prep."

 

[MilkmanAl]

"Honey, you could diagnose her based on smell alone from the hallway -- you didn't need to do a wet prep."

Ah yes, one of the many reasons I loved my OB rotation.

 

[olemissbabydoc]

Note in EPIC "pt looks good in bed". Seriously, attending?

 

[Alvarez13]

Note in EPIC "pt looks good in bed". Seriously, attending?

Hahaha!