Gf broke up with me for many reasons....

[harkkam]

I'm 22 years old and doing pre-med, majoring in chemistry and studying or trying to do my best.

My relationship with my gf has been rocky, we were together for three years, and these fast four months are officially not together but try to spend time and see if we could make it work.

Unfortunately, I'm not even in medical school just pre-med but finding time to see her three times or twice a week for 5-6 hours at at time really makes it hard for me to study and focus.

I feel like this person is really special and I really care and love for them, and I want to make them happy but I haven't been able to manage my time and my studying to satisfy her needs.

Sometimes I waste time at home doing things like playing my guitar when I know I have to study then when she calls me I tell her I cant see her because now Im studying like I should have been when i was wasting my time.

Aside from that we have had many other problems and issues and I just don't want to loose her yet at the same time I'd like to set the both of us free and avoid heartache if that's all that will come of it.

I know that pursuing medical school has made it hard for me to have a relationship, and I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it. This person I know was meant for me, because they have qualities and quirks and things that I can never see myself finding another person having.

I don't know if I can make her happy. This summer Im taking A MCAT prep course, Calculus I

Then the fall semester
1.Physics Calculus
2.Calculus 2
3.Advanced inorganic chemistry.


Any advice guys...anyone been in my shoes?

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[JJMrK]

I know that pursuing medical school has made it hard for me to have a relationship, and I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it.

You're the only one who can decide this. Good luck.

 

[nick_carraway]

Each of us have different priorities and some value their loved ones over their dreams. My opinion is that the two should not be mutually exclusive. Since when does a loved one become unsupportive of the sacrifices to a dream like medical school. It's not like you're traveling very far, living across the world, spending no time with her at all.

Perhaps some gestures on your behalf would help this relationship to stabilize, but a loved one should always be understanding even when they don't agree. Have you tried spending every night with her, even if you're busy? Just to sleep together in the same bed? Have you tried bringing her out to dinner or cooking for her when you have the time? It takes more than a class schedule to end a relationship and if she's willing to end the relationship because you took on a few extra classes to secure her future as well as yours, I don't see anything you do as being good enough for her.

If this is your first relationship, studies have shown that first time couples keep the relationship going far longer than they know they should once they become more experienced.

This might be becoming an unfair distraction that is keeping you from reaching your goal in life. If it is, it might not be worth it. It wouldn't be for me and I've been dating my GF for 4 years now. Long distance for the past year and we'll be on opposite coasts next year. If at anytime she refused to help me to reach my dream and to work toward a stable income for her and our future family, the choice would be easy.

Best of luck to you, however. Each person is different.

 

[harkkam]

Thank you man, your wise words had a soothing effect.

During finals sometimes I don't see her for two weeks straight, I don't call her much and we don't live together. But when my work lightens up I try my best to make her happy, I arrange dates and we spend time together doing things that bond us.

However she gets lonely, and says that she no longer wants to put her happiness on pause, and wants to enjoy her life.

I wonder if I managed my time better and made small efforts here and there to be more attentive and perhaps do my work on time to save time to spend with her if that would make it work.

 

[229141]

I'm 22 years old and doing pre-med, majoring in chemistry and studying or trying to do my best.

My relationship with my gf has been rocky, we were together for three years, and these fast four months are officially not together but try to spend time and see if we could make it work.

Unfortunately, I'm not even in medical school just pre-med but finding time to see her three times or twice a week for 5-6 hours at at time really makes it hard for me to study and focus.

I feel like this person is really special and I really care and love for them, and I want to make them happy but I haven't been able to manage my time and my studying to satisfy her needs.

Sometimes I waste time at home doing things like playing my guitar when I know I have to study then when she calls me I tell her I cant see her because now Im studying like I should have been when i was wasting my time.

Aside from that we have had many other problems and issues and I just don't want to loose her yet at the same time I'd like to set the both of us free and avoid heartache if that's all that will come of it.

I know that pursuing medical school has made it hard for me to have a relationship, and I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it. This person I know was meant for me, because they have qualities and quirks and things that I can never see myself finding another person having.

I don't know if I can make her happy. This summer Im taking A MCAT prep course, Calculus I

Then the fall semester
1.Physics Calculus
2.Calculus 2
3.Advanced inorganic chemistry.


Any advice guys...anyone been in my shoes?

I literally am in your shoes bro. It's hard...very hard. People on here are like lol just dump gf and find a new one when you're MD! Well that sounds great and all but that is MUCH easier said than done...especially when you find a girl you connect so well with.

I say just strive to find a balance and try to make it work. I'm just getting really good at time management...but its so hard cause my girlfriend is quite the night owl and I try to get to bed early so I can study etc. It's very hard..I wish I had better advice- but all I can really say is I feel your pain...

 

[CuddyMD]

Yup, I've been there.

1. Don't beat yourself up about the guitar thing. Everyone needs time for themselves to unwind--wasting time is sometimes time well spent.
2. The time restraints is most definitely going to be tighter in medical school. If you plan to go through the trials of med school, it would be best be with a partner who understands that the focus will be off them for quite a while.
3. Women will come and go. Even if she is 1 in a million, keep in mind there is like, 6 billion people in this world, so there may be like 6000 more of her somewhere, haha.
4. Yeah, you may not make her happy but you really shouldn't expect that out of yourself. I believe that the single person that will know you best, and can therefore be the only person to help you find happiness, is yourself. Whether it is doing medicine, or playing the guitar, be happy and I think that happiness will infect those around you.

 

[cleoscat3]

However she gets lonely, and says that she no longer wants to put her happiness on pause, and wants to enjoy her life.

I wonder if I managed my time better and made small efforts here and there to be more attentive and perhaps do my work on time to save time to spend with her if that would make it work.

It can't hurt to improve your time management. Don't be surprised if that's not really the issue though. From what you wrote up there it sounds more like she's making excuses to break it off. She may be too worried about hurting your feelings to just come out and break it off.

 

[TexasPhysician]

If she needs more of your time now, it will only get worse in medical school and residency. Doctors have high divorce rates for this reason. We need women who understand and can appreciate our goals. If you REALLY want to go to medical school, a needy girl like this will not allow you to succeed. You can do better.

 

[engineeredout]

Man I don't even meet chicks who are worth blowing off an episode of Law and Order for.

 

[chiz2kul]

I'm 22 years old and doing pre-med, majoring in chemistry and studying or trying to do my best.

My relationship with my gf has been rocky, we were together for three years, and these fast four months are officially not together but try to spend time and see if we could make it work.

Unfortunately, I'm not even in medical school just pre-med but finding time to see her three times or twice a week for 5-6 hours at at time really makes it hard for me to study and focus.

I feel like this person is really special and I really care and love for them, and I want to make them happy but I haven't been able to manage my time and my studying to satisfy her needs.

Sometimes I waste time at home doing things like playing my guitar when I know I have to study then when she calls me I tell her I cant see her because now Im studying like I should have been when i was wasting my time.

Aside from that we have had many other problems and issues and I just don't want to loose her yet at the same time I'd like to set the both of us free and avoid heartache if that's all that will come of it.

I know that pursuing medical school has made it hard for me to have a relationship, and I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it. This person I know was meant for me, because they have qualities and quirks and things that I can never see myself finding another person having.

I don't know if I can make her happy. This summer Im taking A MCAT prep course, Calculus I

Then the fall semester
1.Physics Calculus
2.Calculus 2
3.Advanced inorganic chemistry.


Any advice guys...anyone been in my shoes?

Now, this is why I was never a chem major in college
And advice, sorry but its only gonna get worse (time-wise) in med school. Let her know that...hopefully she'll understand and be willing to stick with you.
If not............

 

[Van Chowder]

well for one, why are you taking advanced inorganic chemistry... wont regular general chem satisfy your major requirements,because if so you are making your self work harder then need be, adcoms dont care if its advanced..
another thing, dude eff her! two years down the line when youre looking back on it all ( and most likely dating another chica) you will be glad you didnt put your life on hold for her.
If you give up your chance for an MD now, who knows what else she will have you sacrifice in the future...
DO NOT MAKE LIFE DECISIONS AROUND THE WOMAN!!! Cause they do come and go but you are always stuck with YOU.

p.s. Im speaking from experience, I could have played football on a full scholarship at a pac 10 school, but didnt because of a chick... we are no longer together, that was two years ago.. I regret this choice every day of my life.

Oh yea... and this is why im a firm believer of the hit it and quit it routine..

 

[DrJonesss]

I've been in this situation (just reverse the genders). It's hard when you have someone who has a different life path than you. I was in a long distance relationship with a man who'd already graduated and had a career. He wanted marriage and kids asap, while I was sitting there with nearly a decade left of the doctor path wondering how the hell I was going to fit it in. So I found myself feeling like I was just sitting there in college, waiting to get out and start a life with him, just enduring it and being there because I HAD to, not because its a fun time and the best years of my life.

I'd often feel guilty for not skipping classes to hang out with him when he drove 2 hrs to visit, and he'd end up sitting in my house playing xbox while I was gone half the day.

We ended it...and even though he truly was everything I wanted in another person, and I worry all the time if we'll get back together someday or if I'll ever find someone just as good...I had to do it. I knew that when I turned thirty-something and looked back on my younger days, I wouldn't want to end up resenting him for "stealing" my twenties, and I didn't want him to resent me for not being emotionally and physically available for so long.

Sometimes you can have both, but relationships are a give and take, and us medical hopefuls usually end up doing more than our fair share of the taking when we have to concentrate on school.

Just my $0.02. I can't tell you what to do either way, but girls DO come and go, even the really good ones. At the end of the day, just make sure you'll be happy looking back on these years.

 

[Narmerguy]

Be true to yourself. There will be other relationships out there. If that is enough to comfort you and to let this one go so you can explore your own life goals go for it. If its not and you want to make this one happen, do what it takes to make it work. Either way, don't half ass the job. Either do what it takes or just let it go.

 

[dragonfly99]

I'm female.
My 2 cents is it sounds like the girlfriend is being a little selfish. She needs to have her own stuff going on so that you don't need to spend 5-6 hours a day with her. Is she not a good student? Doesn't she have to study too? However, I do think that even during finals you should be able to find time for her in a 2 week time span...even if it's just 30 minutes to go for coffee. You probably don't have more than 1-2 finals/day, right? At the most. You should be able to find a little time for her...not necessarily every single day, since you're not married or living together, but more than once every 2 weeks. She should be supportive too, though...

I know it's hard and it hurts, but sometimes relationships end. You guys are young. From an outside perspective it sounds like maybe you guys are headed for the skids (i.e. breakup). And there might not be much you can do to avoid it. If you do want to avoid it, maybe you need to sit down with her and just see what it is that she needs that she isn't getting. If it's just a ton of time with you, she might not always be able to have that, with the career/life you have chosen.

 

[brucecanbeatyou]

We all face it - I'm married, and love my wife a lot. I wasn't smart enough to get all A's in the premed classes and spend as much time with my wife as I wanted to, plus stay in shape and do everything else that I wanted to. So I didn't get all A's. I was pretty satisfied with a B+ average, and now I'm going to medical school. I realize that I will have to cut some more corners in my personal life when I go to school this summer, but again, I'll be very satisfied if I manage a B+ average in medical school. There is more to life than grades.

 

[bruceleehiiiyaa]

We all face it - I'm married, and love my wife a lot. I wasn't smart enough to get all A's in the premed classes and spend as much time with my wife as I wanted to, plus stay in shape and do everything else that I wanted to. So I didn't get all A's. I was pretty satisfied with a B+ average, and now I'm going to medical school. I realize that I will have to cut some more corners in my personal life when I go to school this summer, but again, I'll be very satisfied if I manage a B+ average in medical school. There is more to life than grades.

dude i hate to start an MD vs. DO thread, but i think it is VERY important that you mention you will end up going to a DO school ( based on your MDAPPs).

There is more to life than grades, agreed. But GRADES >>> Life for MOST kids trying to get into super competitive, gpa/mcat whoring MD schools. is that fair for me to say?

 

[brucecanbeatyou]

dude i hate to start an MD vs. DO thread, but i think it is VERY important that you mention you will end up going to a DO school ( based on your MDAPPs).

There is more to life than grades, agreed. But GRADES >>> Life for MOST kids trying to get into super competitive, gpa/mcat whoring MD schools. is that fair for me to say?

No, that's exactly my point - some people can have it all, they really are smart enough to get A's without spending all of their time studying. I'm just not one of those people. But I am smart enough to get B+'s without spending all of my time studying. So I could have dropped everything, been very unhappy, and catered to the, in your excellently chosen words, GPA whoring schools out there, and succeeded. But I would have missed a ton of other opportunities outside of the lab and classroom that I feel have made me a better person. So I will have different letters after my name, correct, but I know that I will be a much better physician if I have a happy, balanced personal life outside of medicine.

 

[IDoIt4Love]

I'm 22 years old and doing pre-med, majoring in chemistry and studying or trying to do my best.

My relationship with my gf has been rocky, we were together for three years, and these fast four months are officially not together but try to spend time and see if we could make it work.

Unfortunately, I'm not even in medical school just pre-med but finding time to see her three times or twice a week for 5-6 hours at at time really makes it hard for me to study and focus.

I feel like this person is really special and I really care and love for them, and I want to make them happy but I haven't been able to manage my time and my studying to satisfy her needs.

Sometimes I waste time at home doing things like playing my guitar when I know I have to study then when she calls me I tell her I cant see her because now Im studying like I should have been when i was wasting my time.

Aside from that we have had many other problems and issues and I just don't want to loose her yet at the same time I'd like to set the both of us free and avoid heartache if that's all that will come of it.

I know that pursuing medical school has made it hard for me to have a relationship, and I wonder if the sacrifice is worth it. This person I know was meant for me, because they have qualities and quirks and things that I can never see myself finding another person having.

I don't know if I can make her happy. This summer Im taking A MCAT prep course, Calculus I

Then the fall semester
1.Physics Calculus
2.Calculus 2
3.Advanced inorganic chemistry.


Any advice guys...anyone been in my shoes?

It certainly is quite difficult to find the time to maintain a relationship while you're trying to pull the grades you need for med school. Particularly while studying for the MCAT, it's pretty hard to find time for ANYTHING else at all. I'm sure many people have been in your shoes, and you're totally not alone. However, if she really is the One for you, and she feels the same way, she should be able to make some sacrifices, knowing that you aspire to become a doctor. You should explain to her that it will be hard, but that you really care, and that sometimes you may only be able to see her once a week, if that, but if she really loves you, she will stick with you. You're a hard-working person with some big goals, and you shouldn't be frowned upon for that. Also remind her that just because you seem to be a workaholic now, that it doesn't mean you'll be like that forever, because the education stage of becoming a doctor is far more grueling than actually being a practicing physician (assuming you're not trying to be a surgeon LOL).

Good luck!

 

[binko]

My expert opinion (as I am an expert in f'ing up relationships) is that whatever happens happens, it doesn't make any sense, and you can't do anything about it.

 

[sindadel]

If you are in the same place and can't find time to spend with her every day (maybe every 2 days during crunch times) then she is a friend with benefits, not a girlfriend.

The little things mean a lot. You have to eat every day - eat with her at least once! Watch a tv show with her. Go watch something she does, and bring some study material to review during the sitting around time. Where there's a will, there's a way. And if there isn't a will, please break it off - it's only fair to both of you. You can still be friends and see each other once every couple of weeks.

 

[binko]

If you are in the same place and can't find time to spend with her every day (maybe every 2 days during crunch times) then she is a friend with benefits, not a girlfriend.

I don't agree with this as a generally applicable rule. Different people require different amounts of contact.

 

[NoMoreAMCAS]

Switch over and be a Biology major. It will give you the same chance at getting into medical school but with 1/10th of the work. You won't have to spend, like you said, two weeks straight studying for finals. Upper level math and chemistry courses require a decent amount of studying and work. Upper level biology.....not so much.

 

[sindadel]

Agreed. I am basing my remarks on the fact that his gf does not seem happy with the level of contact she is currently having with him. Contact could also be in the form of texts, letters, post-it notes etc.

 

[ThinkTooMuch]

no the question should be is this girl worth it? is she your soul mate, the one you KNOW will go to the grave with you hand in hand? If not, then stop being a child, dump her and focus on whats important.

 

[Narmerguy]

Since the person you quoted isn't going to Harvard, Stanford, UPenn, etc, etc, you think it is VERY important to point out the lack of achievments as a method of saying that the poster is going to be less of a doctor? Last time I checked, the best doctors that I know personally ARE NOT from the most well known schools.

Well come on, how many doctors do you actually know from Harvard or Johns Hopkins and even still, how much do you actually know about what they've accomplished?

 

[HolyGrail]

I was with a woman for 4 years. Wonderful girl...

I regret not having put more effort into the relationship, even when it was tough.

Think of your life without her. Once yo do not have her in your life, what are you willing to do to ensure that she is in your life?

This is the greatest advice I can give. Best of luck sir.

 

[aggieallure]

First of all, I don't think you should base the future of your relationship on what other users post here.

I do know some things you can try to increase contact you two have without sacrificing study time. My boyfriend is a History major, so he never had to study very much outside of reading for class. He would come over and take over my computer (world of warcraft addict that he is) while I studied in my lounge chair. Just being across the room from him helped a lot.

Other days, we'd use the webcam feature on windows messenger to periodically flip each other off as we studied. Although, taking him to the library didn't work well because he'd finish whatever reading he had and then fidgeted for the rest of the hour.

 

[ChubbyChaser]

Hell no she is not worth it...what kind of Gf is that selfish??

Just imagine yourself 10-20 years down the road, and shes still pulling the same crap.

 

[ChubbyChaser]

I was with a woman for 4 years. Wonderful girl...

I regret not having put more effort into the relationship, even when it was tough.

Think of your life without her. Once yo do not have her in your life, what are you willing to do to ensure that she is in your life?

This is the greatest advice I can give. Best of luck sir.

Definitel don agree with this.

 

[nick_carraway]

I do know some things you can try to increase contact you two have without sacrificing study time. My boyfriend is a History major, so he never had to study very much outside of reading for class. He would come over and take over my computer (world of warcraft addict that he is) while I studied in my lounge chair. Just being across the room from him helped a lot.

Other days, we'd use the webcam feature on windows messenger to periodically flip each other off as we studied. Although, taking him to the library didn't work well because he'd finish whatever reading he had and then fidgeted for the rest of the hour.

Agreed! My GF was an English major so she didn't need or want to study as much as I did back then, which is incredible because I hardly studied in retrospect. When senior year rolled around and I was really hitting the books to make up for my crappy grades, she was understanding though.

She was lonely and going through a rough patch too, but she never said anything to deter me from my goal. She agreed that even if I'm in the same room as her studying or playing Counter-strike while she reads or watches a girl flick, then she's happy. She was thrilled that every night, I'd go to her place to sleep with her even if I was studying until the wee hours of the morning. We ate with each other every night even if I had to leave again to study.

Now that we're doing the long distance thing, we use iChat each week, talk on AIM or on the phone each night at minimum, see each other for the important dates. These are the little things that sustain a relationship when things aren't ideal.

 

[229141]

Many great points in this thread. A really good gf would help you achieve your goals and make sacrifices. For example, instead of guilt tripping you since you studied instead of went out with her, she should be understanding and realize you're only doing it cause your goals require such efforts.

 

[sctennis]

Man I don't even meet chicks who are worth blowing off an episode of Law and Order for.

haha that made my day bro.....great quote

 

[Crazyday]

no the question should be is this girl worth it? is she your soul mate, the one you KNOW will go to the grave with you hand in hand? If not, then stop being a child, dump her and focus on whats important.

Don't we all think this when we're "in" the relationship? Unless you can really detach yourself and see it outside of the emotional distortion (which some can), it's hard to really say if this person is "the one".

My personal opinion is that you could probably put more effort into it now, but if she's having trouble with it right now, then I'd really be afraid for when you go off to med school, and especially for 3rd and 4th years then residency; that's when the going is really going to get rough, and if you guys can't put in enough time to make eachother happy when you're still in undergrad, then I think it's going to be pretty rough to make it work later in your career.

 

[pakbabydoll]

hahaha wow instead of posting this on SDN why don't you just go and talk to her about it? what is her major? does not she also have school?

 

[witness23]

you should call her up and be like

"hey...... um I'm just calling you to let you know that I think you might want to get tested"

 

[arangatan]

So I went through a very similar experience, except I'm female and I was the premed with the crazy schedule. I was taking five upper biology courses and going slightly insane because I had exams almost every week. But there are ways to improve your time management and make the relationship work. Small things like having lunch or dinner together do wonders. You have to eat anyway, so might as well spend that time with your significant other. Also, studying in the same room helps too. My boyfriend didn't really have to study, but he would get a book to read, or even watch a movie with headphones or something while I studied. And it's really nice, because you can take a 10min break every hour or two, chat, then go back to studying. Small things like this really helped me to feel like I was still connected to him and decreased the feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Also, although 5-6 hours twice a week may be too much time for you to set aside - talk to your girlfriend. Explain the situation. Compromise. Maybe you guys can agree on 2 hours twice a week. Or one full day. It's hard to schedule chunks of time into a school schedule. So breaking up your free time into smaller segments might make it easier to handle. Or the complete opposite - maybe setting aside a Saturday or Sunday will be easier because you can do more fun stuff knowing you have a full day and you'll know when it's coming up so you can do work in advance. The key is to schedule stuff. And showing her that you're trying is key. For me personally, the most upsetting thing is watching a significant other just give up on the situation and say that there's nothing that they can do. I feel that if you're in love with a person then you'll at least try. And even if it's not ideal - the effort will win you brownie points. Telling her that you miss her will win you brownie points. And planning things in advance will win you brownie points. Something along the lines of "Honey, I'm really sorry, I'm swamped this week because I have an exam coming up. I won't be able to see you on Friday and I hate that and I really miss you. But how about we go out to a romantic dinner to make up for that on Saturday?" usually does the trick.

 

[PreMedEd]

It's kind of sad knowing that I'm probably going to be going through the same thing that has happened here. Maybe it's because she has been my high school sweetheart for the past three years but either way it's going to be tough. Big decisions for big dreams.

 

[ZeusonRoids]

Either give up the girl who NEEDS a TON of alone time with you or give up wanting to become an MD.

My feeling is that you are young and there are probably a lot of girls that could make you feel the way she does without being so needy. You have a passion for medicine and you should try and find someone who understands and can share in your passion while also understanding the time involved.


SIDE NOTE/RANT:

I think that even THINKING about getting married before you fully understand yourself is relationship suicide. I have had 2 VERY serious relationships where I have had to either propose or break it off with the chick. Looking back neither girl would have been right for me, even though I loved them with all my heart and thought they were right for me at the time. I will most likely be nearly completed with residency before I even think about starting a family. There are SO many girls out there who will understand who you are and share your passions...you just need to give yourself time to find them.

 

[scrambizle]

I will be a much better physician if I have a happy, balanced personal life outside of medicine.

Exactly. Something everyone here needs to take to heart.

(except when you're studying for step 1)

 

[WilsonFan]

Sometimes I waste time at home doing things like playing my guitar when I know I have to study then when she calls me I tell her I cant see her because now Im studying like I should have been when i was wasting my time.

Been there, done that. Several times. My thoughts are:

1) If you feel this way, you obviously don't enjoy spending time with her as much as you enjoy spending time by yourself. Maybe you should find someone who is like you in this regard and will share emotional benefits with you while still giving you this much space.

2) Along those lines, I'd waste time and play guitar with her hanging around. I would be a fool to tell you to stop wasting time so you can hang out with her later, but I've been there and that's really a hard thing to do.

So get her on the couch surfing the net or whatever and just spend time in the same room together. Or even study together! That's the best thing to keep close. Or study/play guitar with a webcam on or something.

 

[vinniekan]

Each of us have different priorities and some value their loved ones over their dreams. My opinion is that the two should not be mutually exclusive. Since when does a loved one become unsupportive of the sacrifices to a dream like medical school. It's not like you're traveling very far, living across the world, spending no time with her at all.

Perhaps some gestures on your behalf would help this relationship to stabilize, but a loved one should always be understanding even when they don't agree. Have you tried spending every night with her, even if you're busy? Just to sleep together in the same bed? Have you tried bringing her out to dinner or cooking for her when you have the time? It takes more than a class schedule to end a relationship and if she's willing to end the relationship because you took on a few extra classes to secure her future as well as yours, I don't see anything you do as being good enough for her.

If this is your first relationship, studies have shown that first time couples keep the relationship going far longer than they know they should once they become more experienced.

This might be becoming an unfair distraction that is keeping you from reaching your goal in life. If it is, it might not be worth it. It wouldn't be for me and I've been dating my GF for 4 years now. Long distance for the past year and we'll be on opposite coasts next year. If at anytime she refused to help me to reach my dream and to work toward a stable income for her and our future family, the choice would be easy.

Best of luck to you, however. Each person is different.

So true, experienced in myself, and most of my friends around me has experienced the same

Set your priority straight dude, that's the only way you can get it together. For some people, it's to start a family; for some, it's a career; for others, it's guitar hero, or world of warcraft...

 

[bunnity]

hahaha wow instead of posting this on SDN why don't you just go and talk to her about it? what is her major? does not she also have school?

Yeah just talk to her.
"I know we've been having a hard time because I've been so busy. I know that unfortunately I'm going to get busier for a few years. How can we work it out so that we're both happy? What can I do better? Here is what you can do to make it easier for me."

And so on in your own words. I think being able to have that type of conversation is pretty crucial in a relationship. There are always going to be differences in life goals between two people. What matters is if you can reconcile them in a way that makes you both happy.

 

[mvenus929]

It takes more than a class schedule to end a relationship and if she's willing to end the relationship because you took on a few extra classes to secure her future as well as yours, I don't see anything you do as being good enough for her.

It does, but there comes a point when one person in the relationship may realize that they've been pushed aside. I ended my relationship last year because my boyfriend flat out would not spend time with me, and the time we did spend together was awkward. He completely alienated himself from me, and there was nothing I could do to help him cope with what he was going through. He turned to alcohol and drugs instead of turning to me.

It's just a matter of where your priorities are, I guess. If you're willing to push the relationship aside in order to get a couple extra points on your grade, then the relationship may very well end. If you're willing to sacrifice a few points here and there in order to spend a little time together...

There will always be a time when your life is more difficult than it is now. You need to figure out your priorities. Not saying that you should give up on school to be with the girl, but realize that you need to spend some time with the girl if you want to keep the relationship alive, even if it's just talking for a few minutes on the phone every day. As someone else said, it's the little things that add up, both good and bad.

 

[crystalgreen]

if you're really serious about medschool, there are alot of things you must give up...honestly, u really need someone who is there to support you rather than someone who is needy of ur attention and making u feel guilty about it. if she is really worth it, she will understand ur situation and support u all the way rather than adding to your pressure. thruout college, i was never single but luckily, my boyfriend was supportive and understanding enough to not pressure or guilt-trip me...he loved me enough to stick with me eventho i wasnt always available...and that's the kinda of girl u need...otherwise, it'll be too much to handle. one fact about life is that you can never for sure know that you will always have someone b/c you cant control anyone...but the one thing you can make sure you always have is your career.

 

[ChubbyChaser]

dude..seriously...f*** *itc*es get money...become a doctor!

 

[sushichopstickz]

Dood, there are so many hot girls out there. Live it up and move on. Being single and mingling is the best.

Oh btw, you should live up to ChubbyChaser's environmentally-conscious quote: "Conserve Water Shower with a Partner!" =]