How did you overcome adversity?

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cherrylifesaver

cherrylifesaver

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Just curious. I know a lot of premeds and med students and residents who got in and had NOTHING bad happen to them throughout their undergrad or med school years. It's like, for a period of 8 years nobody close to them dies, they live with their parents so they're taken care of mostly, no significant health issues (I'm close enough to some of these people that they tell me things), and no accidents or random tragedies occur.

I've had a lot happen to me, I won't specify as it would make me identifiable, but I wanted to know how others overcame adversity.

Whether it was a medical issue (ADHD, dyslexia, memory loss, becoming hospitalized, having a major surgical operation, etc.), or dealing with tragedy and grief (death of a loved one, death of a close friend, or pet?, family member or parent dies, sibling dies), or an unexpected accident (house floods or someone steals your laptop, house is broken into, getting mugged, etc.).

I don't PERSONALLY know anybody who is successful in school (I don't consider myself successful academically at all) AND that has been through more than me, this isn't to be a pity party, as I know there are people out there who have managed to do this. I want to know how, I guess.

How do you overcome adversity during a semester? Keep pushing and still maintain good grades? Not make excuses or feel jealous of others who don't deal with anything or don't deal with the same magnitude of issues you have?

Please don't go on about how my problems aren't that bad, I know other people have it worse and succeed, which is why I'm making this thread.
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There's a lot going on in people's lives about which you have no idea. I wouldn't assume all these people you know haven't overcome anything. Not to demean your struggles, but most people have to overcome something whether they tell you about it ir not.
 
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Huggy said:
To find an example generic enough so that he can distort it to use for himself. Making finishing that extra secondary or prepared interview response easier to complete in the future.
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Incredibly rude. I don't even need to know what happened to the person, I'm looking for advice here.
 
kavorca said:
There's a lot going on in people's lives about which you have no idea. I wouldn't assume all these people you know haven't overcome anything. Not to demean your struggles, but most people have to overcome something whether they tell you about it ir not.
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You're right. Thanks for the perspective. I guess I can reword it as I know a FEW people that had nothing happen (I'm very close with) to them and a LOT of people who SEEMINGLY had nothing happen to them, but I can't make assumptions about any of them.
 
Personally, I like the idea behind this thread. No need to bash people for seeking out others' stories and advice. I agree that OP probably just doesn't know about the difficulties some people around them have faced, but it is a real and understandable feeling to think that you're alone in your struggle, no one understands, and everyone else has it easier than you. Maybe the goal of this thread can be to break that illusion, because I'm sure every single user on here can talk about some form of adversity they have been through. In doing so, maybe other users who were feeling alone because they thought they were the only applicant applying while facing XYZ problem can see that they have allies, and maybe that will help them. So, here goes my story, and how I am getting through it.

Firstly, I have long suffered from certain mental health issues (which I will not name) which rear their ugly heads every now and then, when I least expect it (and when it seems like I'm least prepared to deal with them). After my first bout with mental illness, where I basically had to be dragged kicking and screaming to therapy, I have learned how to recognize symptoms popping up and seek help promptly. This help has come at different times in the form of one-on-one therapy, group therapy, nutritional therapy, confiding in friends and my significant other, or finding new hobbies to enjoy/taking up old ones to distract my messed-up mind. Some of these methods have worked better than others at different times and for different specific issues, the best thing to do is to give them a fair shot and see what works best for you. If OP or anyone reading this is suffering from mental health issues and feels alone/like they need someone to talk to, please PM me. I might not have all the answers, but sometimes just hearing someone say that they know how you feel is a great help.

Secondly, I suffered a major injury during my freshman year of college that left me unable to do one of my favorite activities–running. I spent most of winter break and part of the spring semester trying to get a diagnosis, thinking it would be a quick fix. When I found out I had torn the acetabular labrum in my hip and would need surgery (followed by a several month long recovery process) I was devastated. I desperately wanted to get the surgery as soon as possible so that I could recover and get back to running, but undergoing major surgery in the middle of my freshman year (in the middle of the winter) probably would have been a recipe for disaster. That was the semester, more than any other, where I learned patience and how to cope daily with physical and emotional pain. That semester, my hip was in pain almost every day, and walking on ice, against a blistering wind, to and from class didn't help. I took Advil daily, and did hip strengthening exercises I found online. Every day I woke up hoping that my hip would be magically cured and pain-free, but I had no such luck. The emotional pain, though was far worse. I had to give up completely the form of exercise I loved more than anything else. If pain while walking was around a 2, pain during/after running was like a 6 or 7. Plus, running would likely exacerbate the injury. I spent a good deal of time moping about my lost fitness and thwarted plans to run a marathon (I had acquired the injury after running a half in the fall). I had spent my entire high school and first year of college going from a terrible 10+ minute mile runner to a state championship contender and marathoner, and suddenly all that work was (I thought) for naught. Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that staying in some kind of shape was better than doing nothing at all, so I found different martial arts that were easy on my hip, and took up biking at the gym. Feeling like I was maintaining at least aerobic fitness, if not marathon-runner fitness, made me feel better, and also opened up my mind to different forms of exercise I would have never attempted otherwise. The post-op recovery process lasted well into my sophomore year (I had the surgery over the summer), but by then I had plenty of tools to combat my feelings of frustration at the setbacks I ran into while trying to get back into running. Again, if anyone here has gone/is going through something similar, please feel free to PM me.
 
cherrylifesaver said:
I was hoping to understand how people overcame adversity and still managed to do well in school. I don't understand and haven't managed to do that.
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Get off this stupid forum and go to your academic center/counselor and/or your doctor if your grades are suffering because of whatever is happening in your life

Stop comparing your adversity to what someone else has experienced, it's futile
 
Hospitalized said:
Get off this stupid forum and go to your academic center/counselor and/or your doctor if your grades are suffering because of whatever is happening in your life

Stop comparing your adversity to what someone else has experienced, it's futile
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I'm already seeking professional help for all of these issues. It still takes time.

All I am asking is how other people overcame their adversity, so that I could perhaps learn something that I could apply to my own life. Adversity is adversity.

I don't understand why I'm receiving such negative feedback for this thread. Legitimate questions and legitimate topic, imo.

Edit: Also, I don't know about your school, but my school's resources are usually not particularly helpful. I've exhausted all the resources I have access to. It's a matter of time for me.
 
Hard work, positive self-talk, a flawless outer appearance, and attention to detail.



When defeated, admit nothing publicly. Beat self up hard for 1 minute tops privately. Regroup and slay.

 
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cherrylifesaver said:
Edit: Also, I don't know about your school, but my school's resources are usually not particularly helpful. I've exhausted all the resources I have access to. It's a matter of time for me.
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It's a matter of time before what?!!

Channel negative emotions into at least one or two healthy obsessions. Like becoming the top of your class. Or getting in the best shape of your life at the top of your class.

Steer clear of nasty habits and toxic people.

It's very easy to self-destruct. Please make sure you can find outside resources if your school doesn't meet your needs.

This hotline may be able to provide you with low-cost or free counseling in your area if cost is a concern: http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
 
I get the hostility, but I don't think it's warranted in this situation. OP certainly didn't mean to categorize the majority of people as ones who haven't faced adversity. Perhaps it read that way (honestly it didn't for me) but no need to assume the worst in OP because of it. I think when these threads pop up it brings out the worst in some posters here because of the inherent competitiveness of applications but I genuinely think these discussions can be beneficial to many applicants.
 
Dr. In Formation said:
It's a matter of time before what?!!

On a more serious note, channel your negative emotions into at least one or two healthy obsessions. Like becoming the top of your class. Or getting in the best shape of your life and being at the top of your class.

Steer clear of nasty habits and toxic people.

It's very easy to self-destruct. Please make sure you can find outside resources if your school doesn't meet your needs.

This hotline may be able to provide you with low-cost or free counseling in your area if cost is a concern: http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
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Time to work through his issues. Not time remaining till self destruction.
 
cherrylifesaver said:
I was hoping to understand how people overcame adversity and still managed to do well in school. I don't understand and haven't managed to do that.
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I had an unexpected crisis hit the day before finals week one year. I knew dwelling on it would be academically devastating, so I gave myself a finite amount of time to think about it (one afternoon) and basically just asked myself if there was anything concrete and productive I needed to do that week that couldn't just as well wait until the following week -- there wasn't. So I put the crisis out of my mind to be dealt with the following week.

Not especially profound, but widely applicable. Compartmentalize.
 
One other set of suggestions -- We all know the types of things we need to do to maintain our physical health -- eating right, sleeping adequately, exercise. These same behaviors - plus others - also facilitate mental and emotional health. Take care of your emotional well-being as rigorously as you do (or should) take care of your physical health. Refuse to worry about problems over which you have no control -- other people's dramas, other people's opinions, behaviors, etc. If you have people in your life who regularly make you feel bad, recognize that they're broken and remove them from your life. (You don't have to be nasty about it -- just fade them away, ghost them entirely, or confront if you would find it therapeutic.)

If the major problems in your life are problems that are within your ability to mitigate or solve, then figure out how to solve them (even if you don't like the answer) and take that first small step towards a solution. If you're not sure what to do, take a long walk and talk it through. Odds are good that you've got an inkling of what really needs to be done, but are reluctant to do it because of fear, anger, reluctance to hurt someone -- some reason. Acknowledge what that reason is, and ask yourself what the answer would be if you were not afraid, not so angry, or not so reluctant to hurt someone's feelings. It's amazing how often excising that one confounding factor can clarify a messy problem, and how confronting and overcoming your fear/anger/reluctance can empower you to succeed in other ways.
 
I'm confused as to if you are looking for examples (if so why?) or advice on how to handle your own adversity?
 
TrachCareIsFun said:
I'm confused as to if you are looking for examples (if so why?) or advice on how to handle your own adversity?
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The bolded part of my original post answers this question. I thought I made it clear in my OP...

Examples would be nice, but not necessary. Advice on how to handle adversity in general is the main thing.
 
I didn't have the happiest childhood and too much of it was spent feeling unsafe and unwanted. I was lucky to know families that lived very differently so I understood that my families way wasn't the only way which made me angry. In my teens I realized I wanted more for myself and I could either take action to create the life I wanted or I could sit around being angry, feeling sorry for myself, and waiting to be given what I felt I was owed. I knew too many people doing the latter and it hadn't gotten them anywhere, so action it was. Going against the usual has not been easy and has been isolating and scary at times, but looking at where I am now compared to where I would have been otherwise tells me I am doing the right thing. Surrounding myself with people who support my goals and are living their lives in ways that I admire has also been very helpful.
 
I struggled a lot in middle school and high school with anxiety and depression, stemming from seeing a parent enter an abusive relationship (that thankfully ended eventually). I was able to overcome it with therapy and was on medication for about two and a half years. For me, it was important to come to terms that there are things in life that we cannot control, and that dwelling on these things is not healthy. Going off to college helped a lot too, because it represented a fresh new start. Therapy taught me what to look out for when it comes to my mental health, and I've learned good coping techniques, such as practicing mindfulness, journaling, and reaching out to my friends and family.
 
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No one, and I mean NO ONE, leads a charmed life. People who say that "nothing bad ever happened to me" are thinking in black and white terms like, cancer, a death in the family, or a serious injury. But we all go through disappointments and setbacks.

Truly clueless people, who are incapable of introspection, bomb these types of prompts.



cherrylifesaver said:
Just curious. I know a lot of premeds and med students and residents who got in and had NOTHING bad happen to them throughout their undergrad or med school years. It's like, for a period of 8 years nobody close to them dies, they live with their parents so they're taken care of mostly, no significant health issues (I'm close enough to some of these people that they tell me things), and no accidents or random tragedies occur.

I've had a lot happen to me, I won't specify as it would make me identifiable, but I wanted to know how others overcame adversity.

Whether it was a medical issue (ADHD, dyslexia, memory loss, becoming hospitalized, having a major surgical operation, etc.), or dealing with tragedy and grief (death of a loved one, death of a close friend, or pet?, family member or parent dies, sibling dies), or an unexpected accident (house floods or someone steals your laptop, house is broken into, getting mugged, etc.).

I don't PERSONALLY know anybody who is successful in school (I don't consider myself successful academically at all) AND that has been through more than me, this isn't to be a pity party, as I know there are people out there who have managed to do this. I want to know how, I guess.

How do you overcome adversity during a semester? Keep pushing and still maintain good grades? Not make excuses or feel jealous of others who don't deal with anything or don't deal with the same magnitude of issues you have?

Please don't go on about how my problems aren't that bad, I know other people have it worse and succeed, which is why I'm making this thread.
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Can we not do the tragedy tourism circle jerk on SDN? I can see this getting uncomfortable and out of hand really easily with type A personalities.

OP, if you want to sit in on others' anecdotal struggles, join AA.
 
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"God give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change,
The courage to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."

Crap happens. And will keep happening. You can't simultaneously ruminate over it and also move forward with your education. You have to learn how to accept that there are things happening which you can't do anything about, and that worrying over them and thinking about them constantly will just drain your ability to do what you need to do. Success in medical school is actually very easy. It is just a matter of putting in the hours of study. If you spend enough hours with the material, really engaging with it, not just goofing off with a textbook open... but watching videos, doing questions, making your own questions out of your notes, going through flashcards, looking at diagrams, drawing diagrams yourself until you can reproduce them without referencing the book.... you will be successful.

You have to be willing to be selfish, in some ways... to tell people in your life that as much as you love them, that they can't be your first priority for a little while. You need the time to put those hours in. It is hard, because you still need those people in your life. You need them to support you, sometimes in very tangible ways, but you can't give them as much back of yourself because you need the time and attention for study. You may have heard people talk about sacrifices. This is one of them that everyone in medicine, and everyone who loves us, has to make.

You can't afford to spend a lot of energy on grieving losses when they happen. Grief is necessary and part of healing, but you can't afford to indulge in it too much. If a loss is of someone very dear to you and you find that you do need more time than you have to process that, you need to ask for that time. But be pro-active and go explain to your school that you need a leave of absence. Don't decide to push through if you really can't and wait until your grades are suffering and you are in danger of losing your seat to go have that conversation.

That is where the wisdom part comes in. You need to know where your limits actually are. Maybe you have had to deal with much more than the average person and maybe you have hit your limit. Go talk to someone about that right away. Having to wait a year to pick back up, or even to repeat a little, is a way better situation than losing everything you've worked for.

Always keep a little in reserve. Always have a little emergency fund. Your laptop will break some time. Your apartment might flood. Have a little something put aside so that when that happens, you aren't just up a creek. I am living on a tighter budget than I ever have had to tolerate in my life... I had more spare money when I was working part-time at Starbucks. But I still know better than to try to do this without some kind of safety net. When my laptop broke, I had a way to replace it. When I got my next student loan disbursement, I replenished that fund first and foremost, so that the next time the unexpected happened, I would be ready again. If that means that I have to make something else last longer to make up for it, so be it.

Finally, know why you are doing this. There had better be a darn good reason. Keep that dream somewhere near the front of your mind and polish it up often. Take it out and nourish it from time to time. Actively visualize what you hope to accomplish and what outcomes you are working toward. That way, when it gets hard, and it will, for everyone, that dream will keep the wind in your sails and the fuel in your jets.
 
Promethean said:
"God give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change,
The courage to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."
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Sorry, but that is the cringiest prayer/quote ever.

It ranks up there with "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
 
Immediate threat of starvation is a fantastic motivator, btw OP
 
freak7 said:
Sorry, but that is the cringiest prayer/quote ever.

It ranks up there with "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
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The Serenity Prayer is recited during the 12 step programs, I think that's why it was posted.

Frankly, I find great comfort in the full Marilyn Monroe quote:

5f3730a5caca17ae144f5141cb93a8d0.jpg
 
Dr. In Formation said:
It's part and parcel of the 12 step programs,
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I do not believe religion is a prerequisite for recovery. I do not support the 12 step program (I especially do not support government compulsion to participate in such programs, but that's an issue for another day). I know full-well that the program uses a bastardized version of the original prayer and frankly I just don't find that it accomplishes anything.
 
freak7 said:
I do not believe religion is a prerequisite for recovery. I do not support the 12 step program (I especially do not support government compulsion to participate in such programs, but that's an issue for another day). I know full-well that the program uses a bastardized version of the original prayer and frankly I just don't find that it accomplishes anything.
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I agree with you that religion is not needed for recovery and I completely agree with you about 12 step programs. I know a fair number of people with substance abuse problems that use NA as a way to make new connections when their regular dealer runs dry, or when they go to a new city and don't know anyone to score from.

That said, the Serenity prayer isn't total garbage. Setting aside the religious component of it. Learning to know the difference between what you can do something about and what you can't... and learning how to cope with the things that you can't fix... that is pretty much the beginning of wisdom. (Okay, so some philosophers would say that the beginning of wisdom is admitting that you don't and maybe can't know anything at all... but that is beside the point. For practical purposes, you gotta have some way to sort out what is worth worrying about and what isn't.)
 
Dr. In Formation said:
Good thing you aren't the one asking for examples of how to overcome adversity. I do not believe SDN is the proper forum for that. There are other online forums.

https://www.dailystrength.org/
https://online.supportgroups.com/
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/find-support-groups
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I've had my fair share of adversity, believe you me. Pretty much the last half of my PS was about my adversity. Adversity sucks major suck. If OP wishes they can PM me and I'll be more than happy to share some of my strategies.

Promethean said:
I agree with you that religion is not needed for recovery and I completely agree with you about 12 step programs. I know a fair number of people with substance abuse problems that use NA as a way to make new connections when their regular dealer runs dry, or when they go to a new city and don't know anyone to score from.
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I'm glad you acknowledge that

Promethean said:
That said, the Serenity prayer isn't total garbage. Setting aside the religious component of it. Learning to know the difference between what you can do something about and what you can't... and learning how to cope with the things that you can't fix... that is pretty much the beginning of wisdom. (Okay, so some philosophers would say that the beginning of wisdom is admitting that you don't and maybe can't know anything at all... but that is beside the point. For practical purposes, you gotta have some way to sort out what is worth worrying about and what isn't.
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Right but people use the prayer as a cop out to not take responsibility for their actions. Putting the onus of responsibility on Yahweh to "grant" you the ability know the difference between things you can control and the things you cant means that you're inherently not accountable. If I mess up, it's either A) It's something I cannot change or B) Yahweh did not grant me the wisdom to know that it was something I could change.

Edit: Typo
 
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How do you overcome adversity? You just do it. There is a point at which you either overcome it, or it consumes you. You'd be surprised at what you can push through when you have no other real choice.

And I used to be someone who was not religious at all, and speaking as a very spiritual person now, I find that having God to turn to is not a cop out. It doesn't take away responsibility, it's just that faith can give you strength. That's all I'll say about that here, but I'm happy to talk about it in PMs.

Dr. In Formation said:
Can we not do the tragedy tourism circle jerk on SDN? I can see this getting uncomfortable and out of hand really easy with type A personalities.

OP, if you want to sit in on others' anecdotal struggles, join AA.
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OP asked for advice and said examples were welcome. If you don't want to read them, unwatch the thread or skip those posts.

freak7 said:
Sorry, but that is the cringiest prayer/quote ever.

It ranks up there with "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
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It's pretty cliche, but it sums it up pretty well. I've never said it personally, because I am pretty sola scriptura.

freak7 said:
I do not believe religion is a prerequisite for recovery. I do not support the 12 step program (I especially do not support government compulsion to participate in such programs, but that's an issue for another day). I know full-well that the program uses a bastardized version of the original prayer and frankly I just don't find that it accomplishes anything.
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I do not believe religion is a prerequisite for recovery either, but I think a personal relationship with God certainly makes things easier. That's not the same as religion.
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
How do you overcome adversity? You just do it. There is a point at which you either overcome it, or it consumes you. You'd be surprised at what you can push through when you have no other real choice.
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I had a hunch you'd show up here! Welcome to the talk 🙂

Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
And I used to be someone who was not religious at all, and speaking as a very spiritual person now, I find that having God to turn to is not a cop out. It doesn't take away responsibility, it's just that faith can give you strength.
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I'm not saying it's an inherent cop out, I'm saying many addicts use it as a cop out. That's the whole mindset of addiction; to make excuses and justify.

Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
It's pretty cliche, but it sums it up pretty well. I've never said it personally, because I am pretty sola scriptura.
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YES THANK YOU. If you're going to be religious, you'd better follow the text alone unless the text mandates that you look to other sources. That being said, I believe it's a good thing expression for people to live by, however that's only if you choose to actually live by it and not just recite it.
 
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freak7 said:
YES THANK YOU. If you're going to be religious, you'd better follow the text alone unless the text mandates that you look to other sources. That being said, I believe it's a good thing for people to live by, however that's only if you choose to actually live by it and not just recite it.
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Agree with you here. The essential message of the serenity prayer helped me to overcome a lot of the problems I dealt with when I was younger. But in order for it to be actually meaningful, you have to live your life according to the message. For me, that came with letting go of things that I couldn't control (i.e. my dad making bad life decisions), which is a hard thing to do. People totally use it as a cop out, which sucks because I don't want that fact to cheapen something that has helped me through a lot. I've never particularly seen it as that religious because it's not actual bible scripture and because I don't think the notion of the message really relies in belief in God.
 
freak7 said:
I had a hunch you'd show up here! Welcome to the talk 🙂
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Was going to stay out of this one, but I saw too many things I wanted to respond to. 🙂

I'm not saying it's an inherent cop out, I'm saying many addicts use it as a cop out. That's the whole mindset of addiction; to make excuses and justify.
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Unfortunately, it's not just addiction. People use it as a way to justify all kinds of horrible stuff. That is the worst, and I have spent a lot of time repairing the image of Christianity in the eyes of people who have seen those dinguses at work.

YES THANK YOU. If you're going to be religious, you'd better follow the text alone unless the text mandates that you look to other sources. That being said, I believe it's a good thing expression for people to live by, however that's only if you choose to actually live by it and not just recite it.
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Agreed. Have you ever read the Red Letter Bible? It was put together by Thomas Jefferson, and it takes away all but what Jesus explicitly says. Spiritual or not, the result is a great way to live.

tessellations said:
Agree with you here. The essential message of the serenity prayer helped me to overcome a lot of the problems I dealt with when I was younger. But in order for it to be actually meaningful, you have to live your life according to the message. For me, that came with letting go of things that I couldn't control (i.e. my dad making bad life decisions), which is a hard thing to do. People totally use it as a cop out, which sucks because I don't want that fact to cheapen something that has helped me through a lot. I've never particularly seen it as that religious because it's not actual bible scripture and because I don't think the notion of the message really relies in belief in God.
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Other than the fact that it was written by a theologian specifically about surrendering yourself to God's will, I agree.
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
Was going to stay out of this one, but I saw too many things I wanted to respond to. 🙂



Unfortunately, it's not just addiction. People use it as a way to justify all kinds of horrible stuff. That is the worst, and I have spent a lot of time repairing the image of Christianity in the eyes of people who have seen those dinguses at work.



Agreed. Have you ever read the Red Letter Bible? It was put together by Thomas Jefferson, and it takes away all but what Jesus explicitly says. Spiritual or not, the result is a great way to live.



Other than the fact that it was written by a theologian specifically about surrendering yourself to God's will, I agree.
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I thought Red Letter was different than the Jefferson Bible. Am I mistaken?
 
cherrylifesaver said:
How do you overcome adversity during a semester? Keep pushing and still maintain good grades? Not make excuses or feel jealous of others who don't deal with anything or don't deal with the same magnitude of issues you have?
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Sometimes it helps to focus on what you can learn from your present situation. That way, you can focus on ways that you can improve your situation rather than letting adversity overwhelm you. It gives something concrete to work toward. It's been very therapeutic for me in the past.
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
Technically a Red Letter Bible is just one with Jesus's words in red text. I just call the Jefferson Bible that because it's just the red text from the full Gospel.
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Oh I see. Yeah Jefferson was a nifty dude. I'll try to take a look if I find a copy.
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
Other than the fact that it was written by a theologian specifically about surrendering yourself to God's will, I agree.
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Certainly! I didn't mean to minimize this. Despite not being particularly religious, I still find a lot of wisdom in theological writings and in scripture. I guess my point is that one does not need to be religious to find hope and inspiration in religious writings. Of course, I imagine that being religious increases the impact, but I still manage. I choose to interpret (or ignore, but that feels flippant - I still know it's a prayer) the religious aspects of the serenity prayer as it fits within my own life. I guess my point is that people should find hope in things that resonant with them - even if it's from a source you normally wouldn't go to. I will say, it was my mother, an atheist, who really got me thinking about the serenity prayer. So you can certainly find inspiration in surprising places.
 
freak7 said:
Oh I see. Yeah Jefferson was a nifty dude. I'll try to take a look if I find a copy.
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Ask and ye shall receive:

http://uuhouston.org/files/The_Jefferson_Bible.pdf

tessellations said:
Certainly! I didn't mean to minimize this. Despite not being particularly religious, I still find a lot of wisdom in theological writings and in scripture. I guess my point is that one does not need to be religious to find hope and inspiration in religious writings. Of course, I imagine that being religious increases the impact, but I still manage. I choose to interpret (or ignore, but that feels flippant - I still know it's a prayer) the religious aspects of the serenity prayer as it fits within my own life. I guess my point is that people should find hope in things that resonant with them - even if it's from a source you normally wouldn't go to. I will say, it was my mother, an atheist, who really got me thinking about the serenity prayer. So you can certainly find inspiration in surprising places.
Click to expand...

Oh, I totally agree. I was just being cheeky.
 
One of the best things about facing adversity is the gifts it provides.

Because your post was vague, I'm going to assume you are still in the midst of yours, as you said "for you it will take time."

I would add three things to the great advice you've already been given:

1. Realize this is temporary, which it seems you have already done. Not to get all spiritual on you, but everything is temporary. That being said, it helps to have at least a rough sketch of how temporary you wish your adversity to be. Like I said, I don't know your particulars, but making a plan (and make it as vague or as detailed as you want) helps map a way out of the issues you face. It also helps set goals, priorities, and puts things in perspective.

2. Serve others. This I really can't empathize enough. There is nothing more personally satisfying than realizing as bad as you might have it, there is always someone out there worse off. And helping that person instead of comparing yourself to him or her or anyone else, or sitting and wallowing in self-pity is a much more efficient use of your time. Ghandi said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

3. Make a list (can you tell I'm fond of lists?) of the gifts the adversity you're facing is giving you. It might be a life lesson. It might be realizing you need to change direction. Actually take the time to reflect on the positive gains. You can always find at least one thing if you really think hard enough.

Know this too shall pass and if you work on yourself and your goals, you'll come out the better for having undergone the trials you're facing.
 
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