i need some opinions

[sunnex3]

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so i'm pretty sure everyone is sick of me asking questions along this line on this board...and i know everyone is very stressed about applications and stuff (GOOD LUCK EVERYONE BY THE WAY!) but i could really use some insight.

sorry for rambling so much and making this long...just letting you guys know

at the end of my junior year (For anyone who remembers), i was prepared to take a leave of absence and graduate a year later. however, over the summer i had some time to think about it and i was prepared to return in the fall and instead was planning on taking a year off after graduation. i'm back at school now, but several things about my situation have changed again.

1) my dad recently lost his job and my mom has had to pick up 3 jobs working around 80 hours a week, 6 days of the week.
2) my dad doesn't live here and is in korea, so my mom has to take care of everything around the house here by herself
3) my sister is 16, going to school, and dancing all the time because this is waht she wants to do. now this is quite expensive and hard on my family
4) since my mom and my sister are always gone, nothing ever gets done around the house, my mom never gets to cook the house is cluttered everywhere.

my mom is a very very strong person and almost never comes to me for help. however, it's gotten so bad that i have had to help her financially with money that i earned over the summer for school and when i went home a couple weeks ago, she came to me telling me she really needs my help at home, not just financially, but emotionally and around the house as well (just to even get a meal on the table once in a while that isn't frozen or picked up from somewhere). it is really hard for me to see my mom like this because we are SO close and more like sisters than anything else. i can't ask my sister to give up her dream, and my mom didn't ask me directly to take a year off from school to help her but i know that that is what she was getting at.

i'm just so torn about the situation and feel helpless at school when i can't do anything at all to help. my family is my # 1 priority. now i am seriously contemplating taking a year off and finishing up my senior year next year. even though the semester has already started, i know that getting a leave of absence aproved at my school is a relatively simple and painless process.

i know that no one can make this decision for me besides myself, but is this something that warrants something in the explanation section on VMCAS, and it is an acceptable reason? i know i can defend my decsion in an interview if it came up - as i said, my family is first and foremost to me, and i can't just sit around and watch my family suffer like this.

i'm just asking for any kind of insight..has anyone been in this situation before? i don't any sort of red flags on my application, and my stats otherwise are strong right now (3 recs already secured, high GPA so far, varied experience, but haven't taken the GRE yet).

thanks to anyone who has read this entire thing -- i apologize for the lengthiness.

 

[LondonBliss]

I definitely don't see anything wrong with discussing it in your explanation area, but only if you think you are not competitive enough, otherwise just leave it out. If you feel that it is a reason that your grades are low than it is good to mention your situation, but you CANNOT make excuses, you will have to word it just right so that you don't sound like you are whining. It would also be good for you to contact specific schools and get in touch with Admissions people to ask them their opinion. I've gotten good feedback from the people I have contacted. People get in for all different reasons, even if they have low grades. Many schools look beyond low grades especially if you show improvement everywhere else. Keep trucking and go contact those admissions reps!
👍

 

[sunnex3]

I definitely don't see anything wrong with discussing it in your explanation area, but only if you think you are not competitive enough, otherwise just leave it out. If you feel that it is a reason that your grades are low than it is good to mention your situation, but you CANNOT make excuses, you will have to word it just right so that you don't sound like you are whining. It would also be good for you to contact specific schools and get in touch with Admissions people to ask them their opinion. I've gotten good feedback from the people I have contacted. People get in for all different reasons, even if they have low grades. Many schools look beyond low grades especially if you show improvement everywhere else. Keep trucking and go contact those admissions reps!
👍

thanks for the reply. actually, my grades are really good right now after junior year (around 3.92 cumulative, but not sure about my science/pre req GPA).

i'm not being arrogant when i say this, but i don't think i have any glaring weaknesses in my application. i just don't want there to be a massive red flag when people look at my application...my grades so far show that i CAN handle the school work.

 

[LondonBliss]

You have an amazing GPA! And if you can get an above average GRE and have good experiences and eLORS to back you up, then you are as good as gold. I would recommend not even mentioning your special circumstances, you obviously have persevered. Just focus on the positive in your application and not mention the other stuff. You are on the right track!🙂

 

[goldielocks137]

I think you should do whatever you feel you have to do. It sounds like your family is in a tough situation and could use your help. If you're planning to take one year off anyway, it probably doesn't matter if it's the year before or the year after you graduate. Of course, with the way vet school admissions are you might have to take a year off both before and after you graduate! (Although it seems like you would be a competitive applicant with your grades) And I think there is a section that asks if you have taken a leave of absence from school and why, so you would just explain right there and you'd be good to go!

 

[LivestockDoc]

Hey Sunnex,

Taking a year off to help out your family is absolutely a legitimate reason. There is no way something like that will hurt you in the application process. The VMCAS and many supplementals provide space for you to explain those kind of circumstances, so every vet school you apply to will know the reason for your delay in finishing school.

Having a loving, supportive family where members help each other out in a crisis is worth its weight in gold. I don't have that, and I wish I did.

Follow your heart and do what you feel is right. The vet schools will still be there when you are ready.

Just make sure that your school WITHDRAWS you from all of your classes, so your gpa will not be affected.

I think what you are considering is AWESOME. Someone with that kind of goodness in their heart will make a tremendous vet some day! And don't think that the vet schools won't feel the same way I do.

Good luck to you

 

[LivestockDoc]

And I'm afraid I must respectfully disagree with LondonBliss. You should definitely discuss the reasons for your year off, not because you need to make an excuse...far from it...but because that kind of sacrifice speaks volumes about who you are and the lengths you are willing to go for what you believe in.

 

[Savethewhales]

I think its not a big deal but I would recommend continuing with animal work on your year off. So you can say...this is why I took a year off, to help my family, but I never stopped working with animals. Doesnt have to be a lengthy thing just matter of fact. Seems like you have all the goods to get in so I dont think it will hurt you one bit to take a year off.

Btw, where are you doing your undergrad?

 

[sunnex3]

I think its not a big deal but I would recommend continuing with animal work on your year off. So you can say...this is why I took a year off, to help my family, but I never stopped working with animals. Doesnt have to be a lengthy thing just matter of fact. Seems like you have all the goods to get in so I dont think it will hurt you one bit to take a year off.

Btw, where are you doing your undergrad?

i'm doing my undergrad at Penn right now, biology major.

i was planning on working during my year off if i do decide to do it, probably where i've been working for the past 2 summers and i know they need some extra help anyway.

i would need to work and help with the $$ anyway..

thanks for the insight so far everyone...i don't know if anyone's ben a situation like this before, but it just hurts so much to be sitting in the background, helpless and unable to help because i have to go to school. it just SUCKS.

 

[sumstorm]

3) my sister is 16, going to school, and dancing all the time because this is waht she wants to do. now this is quite expensive and hard on my family
4) since my mom and my sister are always gone, nothing ever gets done around the house, my mom never gets to cook the house is cluttered everywhere.

i can't ask my sister to give up her dream, and my mom didn't ask me directly to take a year off from school to help her but i know that that is what she was getting at.

I have a different suggestion, which may or may not involve taking time off from school. At this point, if you withdraw, is there a loss of money already committed or other costs lost? Do you have loans that will require payment? Do not make this decision just with your heart...make sure you make it with your head as well. While there are lots of success stories around about folks going back to school, you do need to know that statisticly many folks who take a year off do not return, and those rates increase if there isn't a family history of college education. I do not have the numbers in front of me, but I was part of a student support team in college (to cover room/board) which is where I encountered that information. Also, in the same light, if you don't withdraw, will you be able to complete the semester without straining your academic performance?

Now, as for the other things; your sister is 16 and CAN help as well. If she is into dance and is good at it, she should ask if there are any oppurtunities to work for pay, perhaps helping with novice/beginner classes (or even teaching them), assisting in a studio (will give her the business skills that go with dancing and production) or even tutoring less experienced dancers. Any of these activities will improve her skills in and out of dance, and help progress her dream, and can help contribute to the familial coffers.

Another suggestion, before making this decision, consider if there are other options. Could you spend a weekend making meals that are stored in the freezer, defrosted overnight in the fridge, then tossed in an oven or microwave? I know many of us in vet school survive with this technique. I can make 3 months of meals in a day with proper preperation, and there are books that can tell you exactly how to do this. Can cleaning/decluttering be handled the same way, maybe once every month or every other month? Perhaps changing some basic habits, like start using the washing machine as the laundry basket for whatever the predominant clothes type is (in my house, darks) so that running a load literally only requires adding soap and turning on the machine? My parents worked 2 jobs apiece + ran the farm when I was growing up and I contributed half my income as well and I found that some changes in systems and reduction of standards facilitated completing my education. If you need to take time off to help, it may actually be more cost effective to do so with your BA (increased income potential.)

If you have financial aid, remember a change in familiar circumstances can result in a change in financial support, have you talked to financial aid officer?

Now, I am not saying it will harm your application if you take a year off, then complete your degree. I doubt it will be frowned on by most schools. One challenge; if you don't get in on the first round, or you need to take time off after school, some of your pre-reqs may start expiring for some schools (I think the earliest expiration is 6 years.) I am just encouraging you to look for solutions that would help your family as a unit, enable your sister and you to reach your goals without significant delay or difficulty in the future. Best wishes, whatever decision you make, and I hope your family gets back on it's feet.

 

[sunnex3]

I have a different suggestion, which may or may not involve taking time off from school. At this point, if you withdraw, is there a loss of money already committed or other costs lost? Do you have loans that will require payment? Do not make this decision just with your heart...make sure you make it with your head as well. While there are lots of success stories around about folks going back to school, you do need to know that statisticly many folks who take a year off do not return, and those rates increase if there isn't a family history of college education. I do not have the numbers in front of me, but I was part of a student support team in college (to cover room/board) which is where I encountered that information. Also, in the same light, if you don't withdraw, will you be able to complete the semester without straining your academic performance?

Now, as for the other things; your sister is 16 and CAN help as well. If she is into dance and is good at it, she should ask if there are any oppurtunities to work for pay, perhaps helping with novice/beginner classes (or even teaching them), assisting in a studio (will give her the business skills that go with dancing and production) or even tutoring less experienced dancers. Any of these activities will improve her skills in and out of dance, and help progress her dream, and can help contribute to the familial coffers.

Another suggestion, before making this decision, consider if there are other options. Could you spend a weekend making meals that are stored in the freezer, defrosted overnight in the fridge, then tossed in an oven or microwave? I know many of us in vet school survive with this technique. I can make 3 months of meals in a day with proper preperation, and there are books that can tell you exactly how to do this. Can cleaning/decluttering be handled the same way, maybe once every month or every other month? Perhaps changing some basic habits, like start using the washing machine as the laundry basket for whatever the predominant clothes type is (in my house, darks) so that running a load literally only requires adding soap and turning on the machine? My parents worked 2 jobs apiece + ran the farm when I was growing up and I contributed half my income as well and I found that some changes in systems and reduction of standards facilitated completing my education. If you need to take time off to help, it may actually be more cost effective to do so with your BA (increased income potential.)

If you have financial aid, remember a change in familiar circumstances can result in a change in financial support, have you talked to financial aid officer?

Now, I am not saying it will harm your application if you take a year off, then complete your degree. I doubt it will be frowned on by most schools. One challenge; if you don't get in on the first round, or you need to take time off after school, some of your pre-reqs may start expiring for some schools (I think the earliest expiration is 6 years.) I am just encouraging you to look for solutions that would help your family as a unit, enable your sister and you to reach your goals without significant delay or difficulty in the future. Best wishes, whatever decision you make, and I hope your family gets back on it's feet.

sumstorm, thanks for the really helpful response.

those are things that i have thought about, but i wanted to see what you guys thought of my situation before i schedule an appointment with my financial aid office. i don't want to go in and talk to them if i'm not ready to make the decision.

in terms of changing things around the house, i don't want to make excuses for either my mom or my sister, but at the current situation there just is no way things can change. with my mom working 6 days of the week and my sister being in school + dance full time (a side note, FYI: my sister goes to the #1 public high school, Thomas Jefferson School for Science and Technology, and so she is academically very stressed with tons of hw). i know this all sounds like an excuse, but i've been home and seen them and they're just both so worn out and stretched so think i don't think it's even possible for them to even try to make changes. my mom is so exhausted to the point where even though she's been sick for a little, she HAS to go to work which only makes it worse.

i appreciate your concern in terms of me returning to school: my dad holds a PhD and my mom holds a masters, so i'm not worried about returning to school. i'm extremely extremely ambitious and i know i'll return to school. my mom already told me she doesn't have to worry about me wanting to go back to school. but obviously since you don't know me personally, i understand where you're coming from.

thanks so much for the insight. i'm just having such a hard time trying to figure out what to do right now...i'm mostly afraid that things are going to stress me out at school with me not being able to be at home, and therefore my grades will suffer slightly

 

[nyanko]

I'm going to disagree with sumstorm as I feel like if the OP has to take on the responsibility of half shouldering the family responsibilities along with going to school it could lead to less time to spend on her studies and more stress, which could lead to a decline in her grades. A decline in grades later in an academic career is a bit of a red flag to admissions committees and she would not only have to explain the circumstances but also perhaps prove that she has improved.

The stats about people who leave college for a year and don't go back - I don't think those are relevant in this case. The OP clearly has a high level of motivation and aptitude, and a plan for the future. I'm willing to bet (though I can't be sure since you didn't post any sort of reference for that statistic) that if the cases were studied on a more individual basis there would be certain patterns to the people who went back vs. those who didn't, and that the former would more resemble the OP's situation than the latter.

A very valid point that sumstorm does bring up though, OP, is the fact that if you have loans and take a year off, you may have to start paying those loans back after 6 months out of school. Interest will accrue even if you are able to get a deferment for underemployment during this time (which is pretty likely and not difficult to do), so it would be wise to at the very least have a plan for keeping up with the interest on the loans.

I do agree with LivestockDoc with respect to mentioning it in your application - even if you had a 4.0, 1600 GRE, a Nobel Prize for curing AIDS and 15,000 hours of mixed animal practice with James Herriot himself, what you wish to do is commendable as far as your strength of character goes.

 

[KaibabVet]

I'm going to disagree with sumstorm as I feel like if the OP has to take on the responsibility of half shouldering the family responsibilities along with going to school it could lead to less time to spend on her studies and more stress, which could lead to a decline in her grades. A decline in grades later in an academic career is a bit of a red flag to admissions committees and she would not only have to explain the circumstances but also perhaps prove that she has improved.

I agree with the idea that the increased stress may cause your GPA to decline, and that's a bigger problem to explain to the adcom. Perhaps you could try just a semester off? No need to make a decision on the whole year right now, just take it step by step. Above all protect your GPA.

I have a good friend who has been helping support his mom for the last five years. She is divorced and recently unemployed, and what he is doing to help her is truly admirable. He actually pays rent, so I guess she's living with him (vs. the other way around). He is 25 and his degree is coming along VERY slowly. His mom feels really guilty, and although he is helping her, I think (in the end) she would be okay if he left and pursued his own life.

Anyway, I realize now that I've responded with some ramblings of my own. You have a difficult decision to make, but I'm sure that whatever you decide will work out for the best.

 

[bunnity]

Not sure if Penn undergrad is on semesters or quarters, but might it be possible to finish the semester before taking time off so you don't have a bunch of W's and wasted money? (you may not get a refund at this point)

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[twelvetigers]

Yeah, don't feel bad about approaching someone at Penn with your situation and seeing if you can withdraw from the classes and take them at a later date. They might want to make you pay anyway, but it never hurts to ask.

 

[sunnex3]

good thing is that the deadline for dropping classes is still 2 weeks away so i have time.

the worst is i'd end up paying something, but i don't know how that works with the fact that i'm on a lot of financial aid...it's confusing...

still, the most important thing is for me to make the right decision but no ida what that is right now...it's so distracting and it's taking a toll on me! i haven't been able to sleep well for the past few weeks...😴

 

[sumstorm]

I'm going to disagree with sumstorm as I feel like if the OP has to take on the responsibility of half shouldering the family responsibilities along with going to school it could lead to less time to spend on her studies and more stress, which could lead to a decline in her grades.

Disagree or didn't read? I also said:

" may or may not involve taking time off from school"
"Do not make this decision just with your heart...make sure you make it with your head as well"
"Also, in the same light, if you don't withdraw, will you be able to complete the semester without straining your academic performance?"

I did not tell Sunnex to absolutly not withdraw, I gave some possible suggestions and things to consider. Apparently you disagree with considering a variety of aspects and thinking about it logically on top of an emotional response? 🙄

I do agree that Sunnex is very dedicated, and statistically, coming from a family with a belief in the value of education does dramatically affect outcomes. I also know that I deferred med school a decade ago when I was just as dedicated, and I do know how hard it can be to reverse fortunes. I am also dealing with very similar decisions as Sunnex at this moment; my husband is laid off from work, and we are rapidly running out of money. I am facing withdrawing during my second year of vet school so that I can return to work to make enough money to cover basics like housing, food, and medical care (my husband is a diabetic, Cobra cost $1800/mo for us, and if he doesn't find work before that runs out, he will be uninsured with a preexisting condition, meaning he will likely never get coverage again for his diabetes treatments unless Obama care actually makes it through and pre-existing conditions aren't deniable).

I am offering up some of the things that, as living arrangements, are making it feasable for me to hopefully complete this semester while increasing my employment load every week to make ends meet and reduce costs. I may be a bit close to this issue; I do realize how incredibly hard it is to face the stress of knowing what is going on at home (my husband and I were assisting my family financially) and trying to juggle it with the stress of a rigorous academic program. I am simply suggesting that in the midst of making this decision, Sunnex should have some oppurtunities to think about what lost costs will exist, what additional cost burden this may cause (including, if Penn is anything like NCSU right now, dramatic increases in tuition every semester) and whether there are any potential unexamined options that can be helpful. She may have already done all of this, but she asked for insight. I did also say that it will not damage her application if she is able to return to school in a timely manner, and it does belong in an explanation statement.

Sunnex, you will make the right decision; you just need to know all the numbers and ad ditional issuesas well. There is no reason not to speak to financial aid and to advisors, deans, counselors at your school to get advice. I was ready to drop out immediatly this semester (I would have lost the ability to get additional loans for repeating the semester and I would have only been refunded 60% of the loans, which would have had to go straight back to the Direct loans) but my advisor talked me out of it by laying out some options I hadn't considered and working with admin to find some additional aid for me under a hardship program and a sponsorship. I may still have to take a year off, but at the same time, I can put my husband on the student health care plan if I am enrolled, meaning it may be the only option to keep his health care coverage. I am still struggling with it every day, and I have had to swallow my pride, talk to professors, ask for extensions while dealing with lawyers and real estate agents, rehome pets (thankfull with family) and it is affecting my grades, and will likely ruin any chance of future residencies.

I understand about how hard of a decision it is and how it is a heavy burden which will impact your future not matter what you do. I also understand what you are saying about your sister; I was a Sci/Math/Hum attendee at a consortium (public residential) school. Very few of us managed to work, and then it was only a few hours a week (but it may still be necessary for her to reduce things like dance right now... when money is an issue, everything must be considered with a critical eye, and if it is her passion the way this is your passion, she will continue her practices and such, and recover much as you will). Either way, you will make the right decision; there just isn't a simple, right decision, and you are making the best one you can by gathering information, knowing time frames, then executing as necessary.

 

[StartingoverVet]

I am facing withdrawing during my second year of vet school so that I can return to work to make enough money to cover basics like housing, food, and medical care (my husband is a diabetic, Cobra cost $1800/mo for us, and if he doesn't find work before that runs out, he will be uninsured with a preexisting condition, meaning he will likely never get coverage again for his diabetes treatments unless Obama care actually makes it through and pre-existing conditions aren't deniable).

.

Sunstorm, this might seem like a drastic option but have you considered transferring to another vet school (or even starting over if you have to) where you can have your spouse added on to your health. At Penn for example (and I am sure there is a lower cost option that is similar), spouses can be added AUTOMATICALLY for $3300 a year. All spouses are eligible and pre-existing conditions are no problem That will save you almost 18k of health care cost (after deducting your cost) and can make attending vet school a great financial choice. If NC state doesn't offer this then maybe you can look into a school that does. Maybe you have already rejected this for various reasons, but just in case you weren't aware of the different policies at schools, I thought I'd let you know.

Good luck. Hope you can manage to continue.

 

[nyanko]

Disagree or didn't read? I also said:

" may or may not involve taking time off from school"
"Do not make this decision just with your heart...make sure you make it with your head as well"
"Also, in the same light, if you don't withdraw, will you be able to complete the semester without straining your academic performance?"

I did not tell Sunnex to absolutly not withdraw, I gave some possible suggestions and things to consider. Apparently you disagree with considering a variety of aspects and thinking about it logically on top of an emotional response? 🙄

No, I just didn't have the mindset to assume that she was jumping into it without thinking about it, that's all.

And can anyone really blame me for not wanting to entirely read your walls of text? They should come with Cliff's notes ffs. 🙄

edit: and a tiny violin.

 

[sunnex3]

i am not the type to just jump into big decisions like this without thinking about all the consequences 🙂

i'm just trying to gather different opinions/suggestions/insight about my situation that people on SDN might have.

i attend Penn for undergrad, and sometimes it is really hard to break through the "Penn bubble" when it comes to asking my friends/peers for opinions - many of my friends do not know the true feeling of being in a financial crisis, as many of them aren't even on the least bit of financial aid here.

i already plan on talking to a financial advisor next week (going on call on Monday as soon as they open) and while college advisors are available to speak to, in my experience they are only so helpful...i went to speak with one last semester about taking a leave of absence, and he was like "Just submit the form and you'll be fine" he didn't really take the time to talk to me about my different options.

i'm just so torn right now (as i've already said before). i know that no one except MYSELF can make this decision, but it's hard when other people's lives sort of kinda of depend on your decisions too.

i'm asking for people's opinions here, because i know that there's SUCH a diverse population of people on SDN - and you guys don't know me, so you can give me a somewhat unbiased response. with so many people coming from so many differnet backgrounds, it just gives me different perspectives that i may have not thought of before.

anyways, thanks everyone for your support...hopefully i'll start sleeping well again once i make my decision - only 4:30 and i'm already exhausted and ready for a nap 😴