I quit.

[Airborne Vet]

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Just out of curiosity, how do you intend to pay for vet school once accepted? What kinds of programs does Canada have to assist students seeking professional degrees? If this is too personal, don’t worry about answering. All I’m saying is if you’re expecting your family to pick up the tab, you may want to be looking for a job and start saving now rather than paying for a camp. It’d really suck to make it all the way to an interview only to be stumped when the interviewer asks how you intend to pay for it and not have a solid answer. You may or may not already have this planned out…I’m only trying to help you out if it’s the latter, and not trying to be condescending.

In the long run, I would think any job (especially in today’s world) that you worked hard at, developed social skills, and could use as a character reference would help you much more than a 10 day camp that anyone with $2500 could attend.

It seems your parents want the best for you despite breaking their promises. Certain things in life (like food, shelter, and debt) trump promises made with good intent. This may or not be the case, but it’s the vibe I’m getting.

In any case you’re 20 years old and an adult. Any financial help you receive from them at this point is a gift, not something you’re entitled to receive. Either enjoy it while it lasts or accomplish what you want in life without your parents. The only thing worse than making a bad decision is making no decision.

 

[sofficat]

So lets get this straight.

Your family is in debt, and your mad that they won't give you $2500 for a week of vet camp(which btw sounds like a waste of money any way).

You're also mad that your mom won't drive you to the animal shelter, because she works. What do you want her to do? Take off of work to drive you everywhere? Your 20 and have no license, get a license!

Here's what you do: Get a job, get a license, and get a car. Then drive your self around to volunteer or work at the vet's. It's really not that complicated and I know people who have overcome much bigger problems without giving up so easily.

beautifully said. it might be different in canada, but i don't know a single soul who is 20 and doesn't have a license. i knew an 18 yr old without one, once, boy was that a sheltered and awkward kid (not saying you are! just commenting). you are so young and can do a lot with your life, so, no- don't quit!!

 

[littlehooves]

we get our G1 (learner's permit) at 16, and then you can get your G2 (driver's permit) after 8 months - 1 year, and then you can get your G (full license) either right away or within 5 years of getting your G2...at least thats what it is in Ontario- it must be similar in NB. Most of my friends had their license around 16-18 or so.

To the OP, another poster mentioned that they shared the car with their mom...I have my full license, but I don't have a car right now- so if your parents are willing, then it might be an option to share the car between you guys.

 

[themightyfuzz]

I'm just being difficult to the person who says they don't know anyone without a license that old...

But I have a friend who is turning 21 in a few weeks with her learner's permit. Still no license, however, she has some vision difficulties and I'd prefer her to stay off the road anyway! Anyone who can't tell the difference between bison in pasture on the side of the road 10-15 feet away and the yellow grass they're laying on shouldn't drive!

 

[Trilt]

beautifully said. it might be different in canada, but i don't know a single soul who is 20 and doesn't have a license. i knew an 18 yr old without one, once, boy was that a sheltered and awkward kid (not saying you are! just commenting). you are so young and can do a lot with your life, so, no- don't quit!!

I'm an eighteen year old without a license, and I promise I'm not that sheltered or particularly awkward. I just have no need for it... it's expensive to keep a car on campus, and the bus system where I live is more than adequate for my personal transportation.

 

[phillypd]

Wow, this is the most ******ed thing i have heard in a long time....first off...It sounds as if your parents are tired, and they have their own problems...YOU NEED TO LEAVE. I agree with other posters when they say: no matter what your parents tell you or promise you, it's not their responsibility any more. As a parent myself, i can say that, who cares if your trying to better yourself, "key word being yourself" it's your problem....Grow up....if you want to do something do it....if they don't agree, than move out. But i find it crazy that your arguing with them when they did their job of taking care of you for 18 years. Legally, they can tell you to leave and instead of taking you to a animal shelter they can take you to a homeless shelter and drop you off. 😱 Don't get me wrong...family support is great, but damn... If your future is uncertain, no one has to support and bend over backwards till you figure it out. What you need to do is go to plan B until Plan A works out. So get a job, no matter what it is..get a licence, get your own place, get a clue, and get moving. Your break will come....just be ready when it does, and until than don't bite the hand that feed, house, and let you live rent free.

 

[No Imagination]

I'm an eighteen year old without a license, and I promise I'm not that sheltered or particularly awkward. I just have no need for it... it's expensive to keep a car on campus, and the bus system where I live is more than adequate for my personal transportation.

Those are all good reasons for not having a car. They are not reasons for not having a license.

 

[lazyjayn]

I always figured that having a license was like being able to drive a manual transmission for a girl- If something goes wrong with where you are, your driving friends get drunk/ a trip takes longer than it should/ there's an emergency of some sort- you should be able to get yourself and your friends out of there on/ in anything available. Guys seem to understand this automatically. For us girls it can take a while to sink in.

Oh, and I know two people (other than my now deceased g-ma) who didn't have their license until at least 24- one of them still doesn't even have her permit, and she turns 30 in about a month. Neither one's had a regular job, and both live with their parents. So I dunno.

-j.

 

[Trilt]

Those are all good reasons for not having a car. They are not reasons for not having a license.

Considering I was only eligible for said license a few months ago (while residing at my college,) public transportation is A+, and I do not have a usable car anywhere within 3 hours... please tell me why it would be necessary to have a license? I have a military ID for identification purposes. I know how to drive and could receive my license at any point if I needed to. At this point and time, I just have no need.

(The eligibility thing is a long, rather pesky story I'd rather not get into, but that proves we need a federal licensing system, not state.)

 

[No Imagination]

Considering I was only eligible for said license a few months ago (while residing at my college,) public transportation is A+, and I do not have a usable car anywhere within 3 hours... please tell me why it would be necessary to have a license?

It probably wouldn't be (necessary to have a license), I was mearly pointing out that the reasons you gave for not having one were actually reason for not havening a car.

that proves we need a federal licensing system, not state.)

I'm not going to touch this, as people in rural areas in the south can get licenses at 15. That would never fly in NYC...

 

[bunnity]

I always figured that having a license was like being able to drive a manual transmission for a girl- If something goes wrong with where you are, your driving friends get drunk/ a trip takes longer than it should/ there's an emergency of some sort- you should be able to get yourself and your friends out of there on/ in anything available. Guys seem to understand this automatically. For us girls it can take a while to sink in.

Agree that being able to drive stick is good (I own one and love it) but not sure why this is a gender related issue. Are you saying it is harder for a girl to learn to drive stick? Why?

 

[lazyjayn]

Not that it's harder. Maybe harder to find someone to teach you- I have taught about 5 friends. They've found it useful- and not just when I made them practice in stop and go on I95 after a race let out....

I don't know about everyone else, but my father taught me to drive. Wouldn't teach me to drive a stick. Not until I got one. He didn't have the patience to teach me or the willingness to risk the transmission in his beemer. Once it was *my* transmission at risk, suddenly no more problem.

Guys'll learn to drive a manual because it's "manly" or so they can drag race, or because it's easier to pull donuts in them, or because there's some trashed classic car they can get for $300, or .... stereotypical guy reasons.

 

[littlehooves]

Guys'll learn to drive a manual because it's "manly" or so they can drag race, or because it's easier to pull donuts in them, or because there's some trashed classic car they can get for $300, or .... stereotypical guy reasons.

Thats 90% of the reason why I wanted to learn...does that make me manly... lol. 😀 doughnuts in automatic is definatly possible... but less fun I suppose. 😀

 

[No Imagination]

because there's some trashed classic car they can get for $300

Yugo 🙁

 

[lazyjayn]

does that make me manly

Yes.

 

[littlehooves]

Yes.

...... k i walked right into that one......🙁

 

[lazyjayn]

'sokay. driving really fast on twisty mountain roads calms me down. It's a stupid hobby. Very dangerous. Prolly makes me manly too.

-j.

 

[flyhi]

I don't know about everyone else, but my father taught me to drive.

Yeah, so mom 'thought' she could teach me to drive her lovely Toyota Tercel at the barn. I would drive it up and down the long rocky, washed out road to the pasture (which was in a flood plain - but that's another story).

I guess i gave her a false sense of security in my abilities one chilly morning at another barn where we took lessons. After riding, she asked me to go warm up the car while she paid. We were parked in front of the little outside riding arena with the brand new fence around it. Started up the car, went to go get mom (she could talk to a complete stranger f-o-r-e-v-e-r and i was getting impatient. Well, I popped the clutch getting out (must've still been in gear ) and drove straight through to the center of the arena 😱.

She was trying to redeem herself from when she 'taught' my oldest stepsister how to drive. Same Toyota Tercel, but this time i was a small child in the back seat. We lived at the bottom of a pretty large hill. Mom gave her the reins at the top of the hill - almost home and no way to get in an accident, right? Not quite. Needless to say taking the hill at about 45mph and my sister trying to figure out which pedal was the brake...sooooo confusing when you are panicking and someone forgot that part of the lesson....led to us careening on two wheels as she tried to make the driveway. Made the driveway, but still couldn't find that darn brake. Uphill driveway saved our lives as she only took out one of the support beams of the carport and an evergreen bush/tree in our yard 😱

Dad took over the driving lessons after that

 

[slight365]

I screamed at my mom last night and hung up on her. She is telling me that I can do whatever I want... but when I tell her what I want to do, she gives me a billion reasons not to do it. She wants something out of me, but I can't figure out what it is. I am so lost and confused right now.

Yeah, they don't want to ever leave them, and as you move further and further away, they get more and more scared.

Get the hell out of there. I had something of a situation like that. My parents were helpful, supported me, and were simultaneously deconstructing my opportunities and adding massive hindrances to my life. I never figured it out, but I realized as they were getting older, it was getting worse.

I realized after I left home and had lots of success, what was happening. The worst was how they would help, with insurance, tuition, but then sometimes only enough to hang me and see me through part of a semester. They also coincidentally needed me only during mid-terms and finals. Not bad people, but probably fearing lonliness or just don't want to lose control of something in their lives.

 

[sumstorm]

Quite a few adults in NYC have never had a licence. I couldn't do it, but I know people who do (and tend to believe the world begins and ends with NYC.) I met people in London and Sydney with the same basic attitude and lack of licence, so I think it has more to do with growing up and living in a metro with adequate transportation options.

It amazes me how many people can't drive a standard. My first car (bought myself and fixed up with advice from my father) was a standard. If traveling overseas, it can be really hard to find automatics. I know a lot of people who refuse to even try to learn to handle a stick.

Also, had my learner's permit at 14, licence at 15....under rural ag licencing. Was allowed to drive on rural roads (which was really all that was around for about a 45 minute drive.) 1 year rural only unsupervised, highway supervised, then full permit with X hours of supervised driving and a check list of conditions, plus a couple tests. For us, in that area, it was essential...and most of us had already handled trucks on the farms and a variety of tractors before learning to drive a automobile on the road.

I would think, though, that it could be very difficult to get your licence without at least a supportive family member/friend. Kind of a chicken and egg situation....need a car (or access to one) to get the licence, need the licence to gain access to a car (if owned by someone else) and cars aren't cheap in the short or long term (purchase, maintenance, fuel, insurance, registration, taxes, etc.)

 

[IvyLynx]

i'm 20 without a license. some of us live in states where you need proof of insurance to get a license btw. sure, you can fake it, but driving without insurance is risky business and obviously insurance isn't affordable for all of us.

just sympathizing with you. parents are a drag. you need to get away, preferably to somewhere with good public transportation.

 

[Ninnerfish]

i'm 20 without a license. some of us live in states where you need proof of insurance to get a license btw. sure, you can fake it, but driving without insurance is risky business and obviously insurance isn't affordable for all of us.

If I ever got rear-ended by someone driving without insurance, I would be the one going to jail because I would rip their face off.

 

[LadyHitokiri]

I didn't get my license until I was 19, because my mom refused to take me practice driving (she's paranoid about car crashes unless she's behind the wheel). When I got my permit, I didn't need a car because of the bus system and my lifestyle (mostly stayed at home or school). Once I needed one, I was at college and couldn't ask my relatives. Finally, I decided to go to a small driving school over the summer and got my license. Then I got a car that same summer. It took longer than usual, and it was a pain at times to use public transportation (like, if I needed to get somewhere FAST!) but, I survived. And it's doable.

 

[SaintSamson]

I received my license at the ripe old age of 21 🙂 Lol. I got my learner's permit at 16, but my mom would not allow me to drive her car because it was 'new' (....even now I can't drive it, haha, thankfully I have my own car now.)

Coming from someone is a slightly similar situation, all I can offer is my insight from my own experience. I went off to college, wanted to do pre-vet, psyched myself out and decided I didn't have the self discipline to do pre-vet. So I spent 2 years trying to figure out what I wanted to do. In the mean time, I was dealing with depression that was caused from doing poorly in school because I had an undiagnosed learning disability.
So I left the school and came home. My situation is a bit different because my grandmother left me an educational trust fund...but I still take out loans and receive scholarships. (It's complicated.)
During that time I begged people with drivers license's to help me learn to drive and I was very thankful that a friend let me use her car to take my test, and I got my license. License's are extremely important to have! For many, many reasons. I didn't have a car, but I had a license finally!
I attended school locally, thinking I wanted to do business. In the meantime, my mom freaked out and kicked me out, but I had a car at that point. Because of leaving my old school and my mom going a bit crazy at me, I lost the standing of being 'responsible'.
I have slowly repaired my relationship with my mom and I have to jump through hoop after hoop for her and the person who has control of my trust funds, to prove that I am responsible.
After miraculously landing a job at a veterinary hospital (after working 4 customer service jobs!), I realized that veterinary medicine is what I want to do. There's no doubt in my mind.
I have to work hard constantly, I have to not just do well in school but continue to jump through hoops and convince my mom I am responsible. But it's what I have to do.

Moral of my whole life story (lol, sorry!): There are times when you have to go against your family's wishes to get on the right path to achieve what you want. BUT - you have to sacrifice a lot of things and negotiate and be responsible and mature about everything. I have had screaming matches with my mom before - in the long run, it never achieves anything good. I have had to do things she didn't like, I was firm, mature, and able to map out academic, financial, and future plans for everything, so that she knew this was not something I was taking lightly.
My suggestions: Transfer. I know SO are important, but a good SO will understand... if they don't, there's a better SO out there for you. Seriously.
Get a license. Practice with whoever you can. If no friends or anyone you know will let you, save up a bit of money and take driving classes.
Become responsible and prove it: Map out your plans. Figure out every detail, classes, places to apply for volunteer/work/etc, finances, bills, everything. And be proactive about everything... don't assume anyone will do anything for you, you have to take the reins. And don't make rash decisions.

That's my suggestions... it's a hard road and a daunting one, and it can be lonely at times. But if veterinary medicine is what you want to do, then it's all necessary and worth it.
🙂

 

[Mistoffeles]

Quite a few adults in NYC have never had a licence. I couldn't do it, but I know people who do (and tend to believe the world begins and ends with NYC.) I met people in London and Sydney with the same basic attitude and lack of licence, so I think it has more to do with growing up and living in a metro with adequate transportation options.

well, it's also the insurance. NYC insurance is wicked expensive, and to put an underage driver on your policy drives up the premiums, especially if said driver is male and under the age of 25. so lots of parents can't afford to put their high school kids on the policy. and, not all NYC public schools offer driver's ed, so it can be a hassle to get a class, especially if your parents work all day, and you work on the weekends. plus, the NYC DMV looks for reasons to fail you on your road test - stupid reasons.

I took my first test on Staten Island, which has two way streets that are narrower than the one-way that I live on. I was doing wonderfully the entire test (K and U turns, parallel parking, etc.), and then the examiner had me take a turn down this two-way street, and proceeded to fail me for driving on the wrong side of the street. any further to the right, and I would have been taking mirrors off of parked cars.

My second test was again on Staten Island, and I was once again doing very well. As I was on my way back to the testing center, there was a red light, so I stopped. Just as my car came to a complete stop, the light turned green, and the examiner failed me for taking too long to start moving again (approximately 5 seconds) - he claimed that I could have been rear-ended, and thus had committed a dangerous action, and thus failed.

At that point, I didn't have the patience to stand in line for 5 hours (again) to book another appointment. This was back in the bad old days when the DMV office was on Worth Street in Manhattan, and there were no numbers, and you stood in one line for 2 hours to get a form, then filled it out, then stood in line for two more hours to submit it, +/- miscellaneous waiting while people had lunch breaks, etc.

I finally got my license at the age of 21, my senior year of college in Virginia, when I bought my first car. I walked into the DMV, took the computer test in 5 minutes, walked out to the car with my examiner, drove around the block (more or less - it was actually on Rte 131, Merrimac Trail, but that's not really the point), was told that my right turns were a little wide and that I should probably tighten them up, and walked out with my license inside of an hour.

 

[twelvetigers]

I failed - like FAILED, all caps - the parallel parking part of the test, but I passed the test anyway. This was two weeks after my 16th birthday. I still can't parallel park, but I've never had to - I'm sure I would if I lived in NYC or whatnot.

I can understand having to wait to get your license. I didn't, but I was given my mom's old car and had full support in learning - I took driver's ed over the summer and drove with a learner's permit for a while. I think my parents were tired of driving me to band functions and stuff. So, a completely different situation for me. That said, my mom checked my odometer every evening, so I wasn't exactly free to roam.

I wonder what the OP thinks of all this? Perhaps some comments have been a bit harsh, but she's gotten a lot of honest feedback...