- Joined
- Jun 2, 2015
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 17
Hi guys,
Heads up, I'm about to emotionally vomit all over you in 3....2....1... GO:
So we just got our rotation schedules for fourth year emailed to us, and it kind of made everything real and I feel like I've been sucker punched in the kidney. I've been through a lot in my vet school journey and I'm really proud of having overcome a lot of struggles esp. in my first year and making it through to where I am now. However, I'm nowhere near the top of my class, I'm probably coasting around somewhere on the bottom (too scared to even check my rank). Ever since I got into vet med somehow the whole "C's get degrees" seems to have become ingrained in me, because no matter how hard I try I never get more than a low C in everything. My first year was a spectacular belly flop into vet med, but I passed...by the skin of my teeth so I have a pretty sad foundation of anatomy knowledge. Since then I've gotten better, I work HARD, really hard, but I still feel really incompetent, I'll see questions or symptoms and half of my brain is like "Oh I've seen those words but I can't connect them to the answer" and the other half is like "LETS PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW ENGLISH ANYMORE LALALALA WHATS A COW"
I feel like this fourth year is going to be where my mask comes off, my cover is blown and everyone's going to find out that I don't belong here. I can get by in classes, its just paper, I can disappoint paper, I do it all the time...but how do I face off a clinician? I'm in UIUC and whenever I've shadowed on rotations I see the fourth years getting grilled and theres no way in hell I could answer the way they do, they look boss af, if that were me I would probably just shrivel up into nothing.
And the NAVLE? Thats like the ultimate filtration system, and its so high stakes, if I don't pass that then all of this: the struggles, the tears, working myself to the bone, that would have been all for nothing. How the heck do I cover all of those things that I missed on all my past exams? My rotation schedule is pretty full the month before I take the exam, how do I study for through that?
Anyway if anyone has had these struggles with imposter syndrome/self confidence please let me know how you overcame it...cause ya girl is having a TIME of it, and I'm trying to be gentle with myself but its hard when I'm surrounded by people who are so incredibly smart and sharp, and I'm just over here chillin like a bowl of oatmeal. And if you've done fourth year/ NAVLE what is something you would have done differently going in? How do you face off clinicians? What prep program should I use (I will literally spend as much money as I can if it gets me a passing grade)? How soon should I start studying for the NAVLE? Like I feel like I should just start in March or something? Is there anyone out there who didn't preform spectacularly in vet school but still passed?
Also if there are any online support groups for NAVLE/Fourth year strugglers I would love to join, even if it is a lil premature cause I haven't felt this scared about anything since first year.
I don't know how many of you guys have seen Mulan, but you know that scene where she's with the pitiful Chinese army and she's looking up at the hill and she sees one hun soldier, and then another one appears, and another, and pretty soon there is a panaroma of hun soldiers all leering down at her? Thats how I feel right now and I don't know if I will come home with honor after all thats about to go down.
Heads up, I'm about to emotionally vomit all over you in 3....2....1... GO:
So we just got our rotation schedules for fourth year emailed to us, and it kind of made everything real and I feel like I've been sucker punched in the kidney. I've been through a lot in my vet school journey and I'm really proud of having overcome a lot of struggles esp. in my first year and making it through to where I am now. However, I'm nowhere near the top of my class, I'm probably coasting around somewhere on the bottom (too scared to even check my rank). Ever since I got into vet med somehow the whole "C's get degrees" seems to have become ingrained in me, because no matter how hard I try I never get more than a low C in everything. My first year was a spectacular belly flop into vet med, but I passed...by the skin of my teeth so I have a pretty sad foundation of anatomy knowledge. Since then I've gotten better, I work HARD, really hard, but I still feel really incompetent, I'll see questions or symptoms and half of my brain is like "Oh I've seen those words but I can't connect them to the answer" and the other half is like "LETS PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW ENGLISH ANYMORE LALALALA WHATS A COW"
I feel like this fourth year is going to be where my mask comes off, my cover is blown and everyone's going to find out that I don't belong here. I can get by in classes, its just paper, I can disappoint paper, I do it all the time...but how do I face off a clinician? I'm in UIUC and whenever I've shadowed on rotations I see the fourth years getting grilled and theres no way in hell I could answer the way they do, they look boss af, if that were me I would probably just shrivel up into nothing.
And the NAVLE? Thats like the ultimate filtration system, and its so high stakes, if I don't pass that then all of this: the struggles, the tears, working myself to the bone, that would have been all for nothing. How the heck do I cover all of those things that I missed on all my past exams? My rotation schedule is pretty full the month before I take the exam, how do I study for through that?
Anyway if anyone has had these struggles with imposter syndrome/self confidence please let me know how you overcame it...cause ya girl is having a TIME of it, and I'm trying to be gentle with myself but its hard when I'm surrounded by people who are so incredibly smart and sharp, and I'm just over here chillin like a bowl of oatmeal. And if you've done fourth year/ NAVLE what is something you would have done differently going in? How do you face off clinicians? What prep program should I use (I will literally spend as much money as I can if it gets me a passing grade)? How soon should I start studying for the NAVLE? Like I feel like I should just start in March or something? Is there anyone out there who didn't preform spectacularly in vet school but still passed?
Also if there are any online support groups for NAVLE/Fourth year strugglers I would love to join, even if it is a lil premature cause I haven't felt this scared about anything since first year.
I don't know how many of you guys have seen Mulan, but you know that scene where she's with the pitiful Chinese army and she's looking up at the hill and she sees one hun soldier, and then another one appears, and another, and pretty soon there is a panaroma of hun soldiers all leering down at her? Thats how I feel right now and I don't know if I will come home with honor after all thats about to go down.
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