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I think it's because I said I was taking these next 2 weeks off before returning to vet school and yet somehow I find myself having to go in for a meeting tomorrow morning.
Also I would like to publicly declare I was chasing the idea that the cop had gotten to peek me N0. Apparently that was not so given I have been wrongfully killed.
It's interesting. I get yoten much more easily as village than scum. RIP.
"Ooooh that PSV, she's slimy, she slips right out of yeets like a slippery slippery eel in the pool." -supershorty
Narrator: She did not slip out of this one.
Definitely wouldn't vote Zenge or Dubz. They're cleared. Santy isn't lock village, but he is a village lean. Clem is a weird space where he could technically be mafia but that isn't my first impression. SAR remains toward the bottom of the POE, but my biggest concern is Vis.
"SIR. We continued the search for Manfredi and Johnson to no avail. Our efforts to uncover our monochromatic compadres remain fruitless. -"
- Kowalski's report was interrupted by the sounds of aggressive fruit slicing. Skipper turned to see Rico throwing fruit into the air and slashing it with his knife. Private wandered by and yelled "You said fruit! FRUIT NINJA!!!" -
Kowalski cleared his throat. "Our efforts to uncover what happened to our monochromatic compadres remain unfulfilling. We continue to search from one side of the island to the next. No penguin is left behind."
"Things got interesting for one of our other monochromatic friends, though. He had liked the strange, manic, striped squirrel and defended him yesterday. After a night to think about it, and with the strange, unexplained events that happened during that time, it seemed that the gang was feeling uneasy about him. If you listened closely enough, you could almost hear the enraged roars of Gloria, wanting vengeance for her death."
"To some, it seemed like the striped tail squirrel was trying to distance from him, and they felt it made sense. After all, a squirrel with stripes, an equid with stripes - it's the perfect pairing for unleashing evil on the world. They could sneak through the day distracting people with mundane questions like "am I black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?" Truly a brilliant way to distract people." Kowalski reported.
Skipper pondered this for a moment. He'd heard legend of how sneaky Marty could be. The saying, of course, is when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras - but that could be exactly how a zebra got away with it! Perhaps they were onto something.
"Rico! Private! Report your takes on these findings!"
Rico slashed a watermelon. Private burped. Both saluted afterward. No one was really sure what that meant. But hey, now there were fruit kebabs!
"Kowalski, what were your conclusions from today?"
"Sir! The group was quite sure that Marty couldn't be trusted. There were just too many signs. And even though he claimed to be slippery like an eel, everyone knows that equids aren't slimy unless they just lay in manure, and the only slipping they do is when they're trying to break their own legs because they are, after all, cousins of horses, and we all know those exist solely to find how many different ways they can harm themselves."
Skipper nodded thoughtfully. These were true truths.
"Despite his protests, they said no sir, no way, you've gotta go. And they forced him to load onto a trailer that was headed for Connecticut. We're not sure how it was going to drive from the island to North America, but that was not our concern. They said he was going to go be a pasture pet for some rich white lady in Greenwich."
Skipper frowned. Being a lawn ornament sounded pretty good, to be honest. He didn't see why this was the punishment the animals had landed on.
"That sounds like a vacation destination, Kowalski."
"No, sir, it's quite awful. You see, he'll be a pasture pet, except for ..."
Kowalski steadied himself, taking a deep breath for fortitude before continuing on.
"When he's part of a petting zoo
for children's birthday parties."
The penguins gasped in horror. Truly, this was a fate worse than death. The group must have been sure of their decision to sentence him to something like this.
Skipper shook his head sadly. All this, and still no sign of what happened to Johnson and Manfredi. But he was determined to find out.
The door flew open. A lion stood in the door, looking elated and doing jazz paws. His eyes were wide and excited.
"He's going to talk about me! Me! Alakay! I'm the star of the show and it's finally my time to shine. Aww but you guys can call me Alex, we're all friends here! Don't feel like you have to call me "your highness" or "your majesty" just because I'm the king of the jungle, we're casual of course."
He paused, nibbling thoughtfully on a claw. "You know, the whole "king of the jungle" thing doesn't make sense anyway. Lions aren't from the jungle."
"Where are they from?" asked Private, wide-eyed and precious as ever.
Alex's gaze landed on Private and quickly slid away to look at Rico instead. The purity and innocence in Private's vacant blue eyes was mildly unsettling. "There's a reeeeeeeeeal sussy baka," Alex thought to himself, with a squint. Well, anyway. He knew he was the mane attraction here.
"The wild," he said quickly, before focusing his attention back on the less spooky penguins.
"I don't need you to narrate, boys," Alex continued. "I'm not sure you can do my story the justice it deserves. So, sit back! Relax! And" - he paused to spin around and do some fancy tippy-tappies with his feet -
"enjoy
the
show."
He waggled his eyebrows for a little dramatic flair.
"It allllllll started when I saw that weird dancing squirrel. I thought to myself 'Alex, this guy seems a little off! He seems a little
suspicious.'
And then he was nice to me! Too nice. The kind of nice someone is before they stab a knife into your back like they did to poor old Julius Caesar, god rest his soul. And you know what happened to Julius after the deepest betrayal in Roman history."
He bowed his head solemnly.
"They sullied his good name by attaching it to the most inferior mimicry of pizza that I've ever seen. Not that great stuff that the pigeons would snatch from people's hands in Central Park, oh no. An abomination. The deepest betrayal in pizzalogical history."
Alex shuddered. Even thinking about Little Caesar's made his stomach turn. How could they do so wrong by his boy.
"Anyway, the squirrel told me he had a real cozy pocket and would I like to check out his wares? And I said to him 'no sir, I would not!' and well, we all know what happened there. But then ... I was so upset by Little Caesar's that I turned on Marty. My best friend! I was so sure that I was Julius and Marty, my best pal, was really my Brutus. And I'm devastated by what happened. Truly." He placed a paw over his heart and looked mournfully at the sky for a moment.
The penguins stood, puzzled, while the lion monologued dramatically. It was certainly different than the militant reports Kowalski was used to delivering.
"But now ... NOW ... I am prepared to seek vengeance. Marty, I won't let you down!!" He bellowed at no one in particular.
"I know who the murderer is. I'm calling an emergency meeting. THE NAME OF THE IMPOSTER AMONG US IS..."
Suddenly, there was dust everywhere. The penguins looked around, bewildered. They heard an anguished roar from the middle of the cloud, and sounds of a fight.
When the dust cleared, they saw the mighty lion, prone on the ground, and so, so still. They rushed to him and found a knife embedded in his back. The emperor of beasts was gone, just like the emperor he so idolized.
