Night 2
"Kowalski, status rep-"
The door flew open. A lion stood in the door, looking elated and doing jazz paws. His eyes were wide and excited.
"He's going to talk about me! Me! Alakay! I'm the star of the show and it's finally my time to shine. Aww but you guys can call me Alex, we're all friends here! Don't feel like you have to call me "your highness" or "your majesty" just because I'm the king of the jungle, we're casual of course."
He paused, nibbling thoughtfully on a claw. "You know, the whole "king of the jungle" thing doesn't make sense anyway. Lions aren't from the jungle."
"Where are they from?" asked Private, wide-eyed and precious as ever.
Alex's gaze landed on Private and quickly slid away to look at Rico instead. The purity and innocence in Private's vacant blue eyes was mildly unsettling. "There's a reeeeeeeeeal sussy baka," Alex thought to himself, with a squint. Well, anyway. He knew he was the mane attraction here.
"The wild," he said quickly, before focusing his attention back on the less spooky penguins.
"I don't need you to narrate, boys," Alex continued. "I'm not sure you can do my story the justice it deserves. So, sit back! Relax! And" - he paused to spin around and do some fancy tippy-tappies with his feet -
"enjoy
the
show."
He waggled his eyebrows for a little dramatic flair.
"It allllllll started when I saw that weird dancing squirrel. I thought to myself 'Alex, this guy seems a little off! He seems a little
suspicious.'
And then he was nice to me!
Too nice. The kind of nice someone is before they stab a knife into your back like they did to poor old Julius Caesar, god rest his soul. And you know what happened to Julius after the deepest betrayal in Roman history."
He bowed his head solemnly.
"They sullied his good name by attaching it to the most inferior mimicry of
pizza that I've ever seen. Not that great stuff that the pigeons would snatch from people's hands in Central Park, oh no.
An abomination. The deepest betrayal in pizzalogical history."
Alex shuddered. Even thinking about Little Caesar's made his stomach turn. How could they do so wrong by his boy.
"Anyway, the squirrel told me he had a real cozy pocket and would I like to check out his wares? And I said to him 'no sir, I would not!' and well, we all know what happened there. But then ... I was so upset by Little Caesar's that I turned on Marty. My best friend! I was so sure that I was Julius and Marty, my best pal, was really my Brutus. And I'm devastated by what happened. Truly." He placed a paw over his heart and looked mournfully at the sky for a moment.
The penguins stood, puzzled, while the lion monologued dramatically. It was certainly different than the militant reports Kowalski was used to delivering.
"But now ... NOW ... I am prepared to seek vengeance. Marty, I won't let you down!!" He bellowed at no one in particular.
"I know who the murderer is. I'm calling an emergency meeting. THE NAME OF THE IMPOSTER AMONG US IS..."
Suddenly, there was dust everywhere. The penguins looked around, bewildered. They heard an anguished roar from the middle of the cloud, and sounds of a fight.
When the dust cleared, they saw the mighty lion, prone on the ground, and so, so still. They rushed to him and found a knife embedded in his back. The emperor of beasts was gone, just like the emperor he so idolized.
Dead is...