MCAT Crisis: In over my head?

[Imperfectly_Me]

Hello guys, so I wanted to get some advice on a difficult situation I have found myself in. I graduated this last year with my bio degree with the hope of taking my MCAT at the end of the summer after full-time studying to get it over with before taking my 2 gap years. I had a lot of hope after making a studying plan, purchasing all my AAMC material, and signing up for the July 28th MCAT. I had 2 hitches though, I hadn't taken a year of physics yet and I'm a terrible procrastinator. I thought though that since I'd blocked out my whole summer, then I'd be more responsible and have no excuses plus I really needed to do well with my 3.2 sciGPA weighing on me.

Well, I failed myself. I couldn't stay on track and spent most days too lazy or overwhelmed to either start studying or reviewing what little I did accomplish for the day. I ended up rescheduling my MCAT for August 24th and redoing my study schedule. I am 3 and half weeks out from my MCAT and I still haven't gone past the first 2 chapters of most of my books and I don't know what to do. I have been in a depression this summer as I felt like I graduated with no sense of true calling into medicine or any field, and I feel like that has killed my motivation for the MCAT even though I want to try, I just can't get myself to. I thought I wanted to be a doctor but I constantly saw others around me with a passion and discipline for their chosen paths that I didn't have. Although I've done the whole pre-med classes, shadowing, and experiences that qualify me to apply next year, I didn't do it with the best grades or same level of reassurance for pursuing medicine, but I also I feel like by giving up now, I am not giving my 100% and would be walking away with a lot of regrets.

At this point though, I don't know whether to try to cram and take it in August or even early September or reschedule it for next January. I've wanted advice all summer as I saw myself slowing slipping farther and farther behind, but I felt like the more the summer passed, the deeper my shame and guilt grew as I had been telling everyone that I was studying when really I was paralyzed by my own fears and doubts. Now I feel trapped because everyone(family, friends, mentors, pre-med advisor) expects me to take it and do well since I was supposedly studying all summer and if I change my date to January, the whole summer and my registration money feels like a waste and I wouldn't know what to tell people. Do you see my dilemma? And to be honest, I don't know if I need MCAT advice or psychological help more

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[Auntymarkovnikov]

Watch this:

 

[Auntymarkovnikov]

Also.. January. F the haters

 

[workaholic181]

Hello guys, so I wanted to get some advice on a difficult situation I have found myself in. I graduated this last year with my bio degree with the hope of taking my MCAT at the end of the summer after full-time studying to get it over with before taking my 2 gap years. I had a lot of hope after making a studying plan, purchasing all my AAMC material, and signing up for the July 28th MCAT. I had 2 hitches though, I hadn't taken a year of physics yet and I'm a terrible procrastinator. I thought though that since I'd blocked out my whole summer, then I'd be more responsible and have no excuses plus I really needed to do well with my 3.2 sciGPA weighing on me.

Well, I failed myself. I couldn't stay on track and spent most days too lazy or overwhelmed to either start studying or reviewing what little I did accomplish for the day. I ended up rescheduling my MCAT for August 24th and redoing my study schedule. I am 3 and half weeks out from my MCAT and I still haven't gone past the first 2 chapters of most of my books and I don't know what to do. I have been in a depression this summer as I felt like I graduated with no sense of true calling into medicine or any field, and I feel like that has killed my motivation for the MCAT even though I want to try, I just can't get myself to. I thought I wanted to be a doctor but I constantly saw others around me with a passion and discipline for their chosen paths that I didn't have. Although I've done the whole pre-med classes, shadowing, and experiences that qualify me to apply next year, I didn't do it with the best grades or same level of reassurance for pursuing medicine, but I also I feel like by giving up now, I am not giving my 100% and would be walking away with a lot of regrets.

At this point though, I don't know whether to try to cram and take it in August or even early September or reschedule it for next January. I've wanted advice all summer as I saw myself slowing slipping farther and farther behind, but I felt like the more the summer passed, the deeper my shame and guilt grew as I had been telling everyone that I was studying when really I was paralyzed by my own fears and doubts. Now I feel trapped because everyone(family, friends, mentors, pre-med advisor) expects me to take it and do well since I was supposedly studying all summer and if I change my date to January, the whole summer and my registration money feels like a waste and I wouldn't know what to tell people. Do you see my dilemma? And to be honest, I don't know if I need MCAT advice or psychological help more

You don't need to feel shame or guilt about this. A lot of people experience the MCAT as the guy check it really is.

You're clearly in no frame of mind to take it in august/September. So you lost a few hundred bucks. Stuff happens, not a big deal.

What others might say doesn't matter now. You need to just distance yourself from this endeavor so you can feel out what you want.

And yea, I think speaking to a professional is a good idea. Tons of people experience anxiety and depression from the stress of having to decide your path after college.

What you're going through is not abnormal at all! The only negative out of this situation would be if you prolonged your stress by not canceling, and then took the test and likely did poorly. Trust me, if you're not motivated for this thing it's gonna be really difficult just to sit there ant take it for 7 hours.

Good luck to you OP.

 

[pms_testosterone]

Push back your MCAT date. You just need to come up with a stock line you say to people. "I'm taking it in January so I have more time to study" should work fine for most people.

Is your student health insurance still active? If so, it would be well worth seeing a mental health worker while you still have the opportunity.

It may also be worth considering starting a new volunteer job (if you're not overbooked already) so that no matter how studying is going, you feel like you're making progress on your application.

 

[Imperfectly_Me]

Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to chime in. I officially decided to push back my date to January although I am tempted to push it back even further to next spring until after my physics class is over. If anyone has recommendations for a well-paced study plan(4+ months) for someone that needs to do deep reviewing, especially the chemical & physical sciences, I would really appreciate it. I think my biggest discouragement this summer was realizing just how weak my grasp of math and science was, yet trying to breeze through my content review with quick EK books as Kaplan's textbook formatting bored me. I don't just want to review for the MCAT, but I really do want to take the time to relearn things that went over my head in the past and I just don't know how to go about it both thoroughly and efficiently.

Prep books I have accumulated from friends:
EK 9th edition set
Kaplan 2016 set
TPR 2015 set
NS CARS
Nova Physics & Chemistry