Med School Friendships

[datboi_58]

When and how did everyone meet their good medical school friends? / Any interesting or funny stories related to the subject would be cool to know as well!

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[ciestar]

I never did

 

[slowthai]

^^^Fingers crossed this isn't me in 3 years

 

[datboi_58]

I never did

Do you know why? Was it you or your peers or just the way things worked out?

 

[altblue]

I met my friends in orientation and our study lounge... Best advice is to meet a lot of people until you find friends where it all clicks together. Cast a wide net lol, you don't really know who you'll be close with until a month or two in

 

[Tenk]

I met my first friend in med school when I sat down next to her during orientation. She was the first person I met. Ended up doing residency together and being co-chiefs together. Never would have imagined we’d still be friends over a decade later when I sat down that day but here we are.

Best advice I have is to just be yourself. First few months most people act kinda fake. You’ll figure out who you click with over time. Don’t sweat it.

 

[M&L]

I never did

me neither..... Was hanging out with a few people the first few weeks at the beginning of M1, but then they slowly edged me out (way too much age difference). So, no friends here... at all. not gonna lie, kind of depressing. But better this way than "fake-friend" someone for the sake of company...

 

[ciestar]

Do you know why? Was it you or your peers or just the way things worked out?

Couldnt answer that, idk why. I tried very hard during orientation to click with anyone. It didnt work out. I will always blame myself. I also took three gap years and was married. That didn’t help. And my school has SMPs and a BS/MD program so much of my class already knew each other. It was just cliquey af. Idk what i did, but yeah... that didnt help my near collapse the first two years.

 

[ciestar]

me neither..... Was hanging out with a few people the first few weeks at the beginning of M1, but then they slowly edged me out (way too much age difference). So, no friends here... at all. not gonna lie, kind of depressing. But better this way than "fake-friend" someone for the sake of company...

Omg with the fake friend stuff. People with the patronizing reach out if you need someone to talk to bs. Nobody actually cared. Nobody noticed me. I always ate alone and hell, once we had a make your own groups TBL and i sat alone for that too. As people collected chairs from my table. It hurt and was embarrassing. TBLs only counted for a small part of my grade so i quit going after that.

and first year during anatomy... we didnt have time to dissect the abdominal viscera or something... i asked when we were gonna do it and they were all “we met up as a group with another group and learned it” but never bothered to tel me. I ended up reaching out to my course director because i felt this wasnt fair and how could i pass the practical? He ended up reporting it to student affairs. The same people took a “group photo” and didn’t include me.

 

[catnip12]

I’d say the first couple of weeks are pretty good for making friends since that is what everyone is hoping for at that stage. The normal advice would be to keep an open mind, attend events that you have even the most remote interests in, but also go with the flow etc,.

I met one of my closest friends now because I randomly offered them a ride home once during the first semester. Also got pretty close with my housemates since I live with them.

A COVID world would likely require different approaches and tbh I feel for you. Perhaps having a discord where people can drop in? Perhaps having distance / park events and get to know people? You’ll need to be proactive but it can work.

 

[catnip12]

Omg with the fake friend stuff. People with the patronizing reach out if you need someone to talk to bs. Nobody actually cared. Nobody noticed me. I always ate alone and hell, once we had a make your own groups TBL and i sat alone for that too. As people collected chairs from my table. It hurt and was embarrassing. TBLs only counted for a small part of my grade so i quit going after that.

and first year during anatomy... we didnt have time to dissect the abdominal viscera or something... i asked when we were gonna do it and they were all “we met up as a group with another group and learned it” but never bothered to tel me. I ended up reaching out to my course director because i felt this wasnt fair and how could i pass the practical? He ended up reporting it to student affairs. The same people took a “group photo” and didn’t include me.

Your experience sounds so terrible I hope residency goes better than your medical school experience did

 

[M&L]

Omg with the fake friend stuff. People with the patronizing reach out if you need someone to talk to bs. Nobody actually cared. Nobody noticed me. I always ate alone and hell, once we had a make your own groups TBL and i sat alone for that too. As people collected chairs from my table. It hurt and was embarrassing. TBLs only counted for a small part of my grade so i quit going after that.

and first year during anatomy... we didnt have time to dissect the abdominal viscera or something... i asked when we were gonna do it and they were all “we met up as a group with another group and learned it” but never bothered to tel me. I ended up reaching out to my course director because i felt this wasnt fair and how could i pass the practical? He ended up reporting it to student affairs. The same people took a “group photo” and didn’t include me.

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

 

[BeLikeH2O]

Maybe you can publish a paper on this.

 

[Mass Effect]

Man, some of you guys went to school with total asshats who apparently never left the 8th grade. Just re-affirms my belief that the majority of medical students are too immature to be in medical school.

For me, I met a friend on interview day. We both got in and he sat next to one person at orientation while I sat next to another. We brought both into our circle and there was a group of 4 of us. We're still on a group chat a decade later.

 

[Kardio]

My SDN meme training is paying dividends for my social life at U Zoom SOM

 

[FutureSurgical]

I love the people in my group chat. They’re friendly and really wanna make friends with everyone. It just sucks because I help take care of a family member every now and then, who cannot get COVID. So it sucks when they only socialize in an apartment in close proximity. So that’s out of the question for me. But I’m hoping anatomy and TBLs will allow me to socialize more

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

My two best friends in med school are actually people I knew prior to school. But I met some good friends during school, both during orientation and through an interest group. I’m also close with my fire team.

 

[M&L]

Man, some of you guys went to school with total asshats who apparently never left the 8th grade. Just re-affirms my belief that the majority of medical students are too immature to be in medical school.

For me, I met a friend on interview day. We both got in and he sat next to one person at orientation while I sat next to another. We brought both into our circle and there was a group of 4 of us. We're still on a group chat a decade later.

the bad part in all this is that those who do not have much exposure to medicine before medical school., and face situation like this, might think that the whole medical field is like that. Which is not true. I worked in some amazing places with incredible ppl over the years. But imagine if you are a young, unexperienced M1, who have not seen much yet, and you face situations like that? This is a very depressing and bad place to be.

 

[mmmcdowe]

I made different levels of friends but the ones that I'll be inviting to my wedding didn't really happen until when we moved in together as second years

 

[Tangerine123]

When and how did everyone meet their good medical school friends? / Any interesting or funny stories related to the subject would be cool to know as well!

There was an optional "introductory" week before med school, to get to know how everything worked and meet the other students. We met there with my best friend.

Originaly we were a bigger group of friends (around 7), but we started difting appart, some because of intense drama. Ended up being just my best friend and me.

From MS1-MS3 (Pre-clinical) we used to do everything together, non academic too. MS4-MS6 (clinical years) we tried to always be in the same rotations and night-shifts together. She hated medical school, I did too to a lesser extent. We would be there for eachother when we had existential crisis and needed a shoulder to cry on. Wouldn't have been able to finish med school without her.

Her boyfriend was also a close friend of mine, we eventually drifted away because they broke up. He was the positive one of the bunch and tried to help us as much as he could. I had to do 5 Blood Transfusions at 3am? He would finish his scut faster and help me. I didn't want to go into the OR at 2am after 3 c-Sections in a row? He would voulunteer even if it wasn't his turn. I hated doing nightshifts at the ER and would rather be at the ICU, so he would trade positions even if the ER was packed. Etc.

We even lived together in a village for 6 months. Part of our rural medicine rotation in last year of medical school. You and a few other students run a small medical center as unsupervised GPs basically. When delivering a baby I would always be the OB, the boyfriend would be the Pediatrician and my best friend would just do the paperwork because she hated everything ahahaha

That was almost 9 years ago. My Best friend went to derm, I did Genetics and now doing Psych in another country, we cried when we had to say goodbye.

We Whatsapp almost every other day now our whatsapp group is called SARCASTIC **** all in caps, maybe that tells you something ahahaha.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

Wtf? That is so unprofessional. I would have zero problems reporting that behavior. Those people should not be in student leadership.

 

[M&L]

Wtf? That is so unprofessional. I would have zero problems reporting that behavior. Those people should not be in student leadership.

i felt like i couldnt report it, because so many people were laughing. They thought it was hilarious. Plus they are the "popular kids" and everyone likes them. I was afraid that i would alienate the class even more if i do anything. I felt easier to just disappear from the class completely. Not gonna lie, it is so depressing, especially when you are single, and dont have any family.

anyway, sorry, not trying to highjack the thread.

 

[slowthai]

My SDN meme training is paying dividends for my social life at U Zoom SOM

Should've gone to reddit for this bro

 

[slowthai]

i felt like i couldnt report it, because so many people were laughing. They thought it was hilarious. Plus they are the "popular kids" and everyone likes them. I was afraid that i would alienate the class even more if i do anything. I felt easier to just disappear from the class completely. Not gonna lie, it is so depressing, especially when you are single, and dont have any family.

anyway, sorry, not trying to highjack the thread.

I really don't understand why these losers act like they're still in high school. It's appalling. But then again, I've dealt with middle aged administrators that act the same exact way. There's no age limit to stupidity I guess

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

i felt like i couldnt report it, because so many people were laughing. They thought it was hilarious. Plus they are the "popular kids" and everyone likes them. I was afraid that i would alienate the class even more if i do anything. I felt easier to just disappear from the class completely. Not gonna lie, it is so depressing, especially when you are single, and dont have any family.

anyway, sorry, not trying to highjack the thread.

Unless you go to the worst school in the country, I guarantee you some people thought it was unprofessional.

 

[M&L]

I really don't understand why these losers act like they're still in high school. It's appalling. But then again, I've dealt with middle aged administrators that act the same exact way. There's no age limit to stupidity I guess

"there is no age limit to stupidity". this is brilliant. i am definitely saving this quote.

 

[Kardio]

Should've gone to reddit for this bro

I prefer the SDN crowd, even if it’s a little harder to get some lol’s here.

 

[bananafish94]

I met a lot of great friends at completely different times. I met my girlfriend early on in M1 year and obviously that was my most significant relationship in med school. I made great friends through my anatomy lab group and some of the small groups. And then in M3-M4 year I ended up working with people on rotations that I didn't know at all beforehand and some of them became great friends. My school was overall very welcoming and non-malignant...some of these stories are horrible, and I'm grateful that I didn't experience anything like that.

 

[Fatalis]

It wasn't until second semester; we all sat together randomly and all disagreed about a clicker question for physio... all 4 of us have been friends ever since and even got to do clinicals together

 

[LunaOri]

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

That's just evil! What a**holes!

 

[LunaOri]

i felt like i couldnt report it, because so many people were laughing. They thought it was hilarious. Plus they are the "popular kids" and everyone likes them. I was afraid that i would alienate the class even more if i do anything. I felt easier to just disappear from the class completely. Not gonna lie, it is so depressing, especially when you are single, and dont have any family.

anyway, sorry, not trying to highjack the thread.

No, no, and NO! These are shameless bullies! I'll bet you are not the only one they torment. I understand your reluctance to make a formal report, but don't hide their behavior. Talk about it openly--"yeah, want to hear how immature some of my classmates are?"

 

[LunaOri]

I met my best friends over a cadaver in anatomy lab, and in other small group situations. I also ran and exercised at lunch hour, so I met people who also did that.

 

[M&L]

No, no, and NO! These are shameless bullies! I'll bet you are not the only one they torment. I understand your reluctance to make a formal report, but don't hide their behavior. Talk about it openly--"yeah, want to hear how immature some of my classmates are?"

well, i did explode on the group chat at them - professionally, did not use any inappropriate language - before leaving the group. 3 of them messaged me later to apologize (of course, apology was in private, to not make them uncomfortable). But they phrased it like "sorry you are so sensitive" kind of way. So it was a sort of apology that is meant to show that you overreacted. But that honestly led me to be permanently disappointed in my classmates. My school is amazing. But a lot of people in my class are entitled rich kids, or just jerks. It is really a popularity contest there. Same ppl are in charge of everything, -the popular kids. It is kind of disgusting, really.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

well, i did explode on the group chat at them - professionally, did not use any inappropriate language - before leaving the group. 3 of them messaged me later to apologize (of course, apology was in private, to not make them uncomfortable). But they phrased it like "sorry you are so sensitive" kind of way. So it was a sort of apology that is meant to show that you overreacted. But that honestly led me to be permanently disappointed in my classmates. My school is amazing. But a lot of people in my class are entitled rich kids, or just jerks. It is really a popularity contest there. Same ppl are in charge of everything, -the popular kids. It is kind of disgusting, really.

Yeah I would still report that. They are definitely not only doing that to you and should not be in leadership. Like jokingly telling you a fake tv doctor name once is funny if they then tell you they’re joking and give you the real info. What they did is just bullying.

 

[sunshinefl]

When and how did everyone meet their good medical school friends? / Any interesting or funny stories related to the subject would be cool to know as well!

I have like 24 different levels of relationships with my med school friendships lol. My med school bestie was my de facto physical diagnosis partner in M1. We were in a group of 8 but our group mostly stuck to the same pairs for most of it, except when there was time to do something on more than 1 person. Others you just naturally gravitate to. Some were never in any of my small group activities. And some of the ones in my small group activities we always got a long and had good laughs but don’t hang out outside of school. During M3 I got really close with the people at my core site especially those who were frequently rotating on the same services as me, or services I would interact with a lot.

Unless you go to the worst school in the country, I guarantee you some people thought it was unprofessional.

Agree. My school class definitely has a mix of people who are cliques either from the MBS program or whatever. Also others who still act like high school, etc. but there’s a lot of awesome people. And even if just 2 people in your class agreed it’s unprofessional and could be friends with you it’s worth having a couple med school friends.

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

The hell did I just read?

That is absolutely unacceptable behavior.

I was not close to anyone at my school (I preferred to spend time outside of school with people outside of school as a general rule), but when I asked questions like that it would never have occurred to anyone to lie. Everyone was always nice to everyone else as the default position because we were all in the same awful boat. The behavior you experienced shows they are bad people, and that's not OK at all.

Its probably a bit late to do anything now, but I wouldn't hesitate to ask something like that again if needed and if the answers aren't some combination of a) the truth or b) "I'm not sure" I wouldn't hesitate to report it. If you're an asshat this early on, that's not a good sign for the future.

 

[ciestar]

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

Wtf... wow. That is extra level douchery.

 

[ciestar]

i felt like i couldnt report it, because so many people were laughing. They thought it was hilarious. Plus they are the "popular kids" and everyone likes them. I was afraid that i would alienate the class even more if i do anything. I felt easier to just disappear from the class completely. Not gonna lie, it is so depressing, especially when you are single, and dont have any family.

anyway, sorry, not trying to highjack the thread.

No, id report that. There is nothing okay about that. It isnt funny and people like that shouldnt be at any level of authority.

 

[DrRiker]

When and how did everyone meet their good medical school friends? / Any interesting or funny stories related to the subject would be cool to know as well!

Use your Facebook group to meet ppl before classes start

 

[Mass Effect]

3 of them messaged me later to apologize (of course, apology was in private, to not make them uncomfortable). But they phrased it like "sorry you are so sensitive" kind of way. So it was a sort of apology that is meant to show that you overreacted

That's what we in psych call gaslighting, the hallmark of an abusive personality.

 

[Simba1711]

I feel bad for you that Fd up. We had skit night at our medical school where people would do skits and post jokes. One medical student found a dating profile of another student posted it on his PowerPoint with the caption “any luck yet”. A different student posted pictures of the janitors and cafeteria staff with the captions the “jobs nobody wants. “. Some People in medical school are extremely immature.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I feel bad for you that Fd up. We had skit night at our medical school where people would do skits and post jokes. One medical student found a dating profile of another student posted it on his PowerPoint with the caption “any luck yet”. A different student posted pictures of the janitors and cafeteria staff with the captions the “jobs nobody wants. “. Some People in medical school are extremely immature.

Yeah that’s **** an 8 year old would think is funny.

 

[meepdog]

I met my friends in orientation and our study lounge... Best advice is to meet a lot of people until you find friends where it all clicks together. Cast a wide net lol, you don't really know who you'll be close with until a month or two in

I actually really worry about missing the opportunity to get to know people during orientation. I know in my other positions, the training/"pre-work" portion of the experience was a really important time to foster relationships, and as someone who relies on relationships to get me through challenging times I would like to start on a strong circle asap.

 

[altblue]

I actually really worry about missing the opportunity to get to know people during orientation. I know in my other positions, the training/"pre-work" portion of the experience was a really important time to foster relationships, and as someone who relies on relationships to get me through challenging times I would like to start on a strong circle asap.

That's gotta be really challenging to face. There's no question the adjustment to medical school will be more difficult, and I'm concerned sometimes for the rising M1s because of it.

The best thing you can do is attend all of those Zoom meetings and look for safe, social-distanced hangouts. Even if it isn't the same thing, it can help. Hopefully by 2021 the restrictions can be safely loosened, and you can have a more normal social experience in med school.

 

[readmypostsMD]

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

i feel like your story is falling into a self fulfilling prophecy?

 

[M&L]

i feel like your story is falling into a self fulfilling prophecy?

what do you mean?

 

[Goro]

this sounds horrible... But honestly i think i would rather have THAT. To me, - they do the polite nod, and such, but i am invisible. There is a certain amount of almost pity in their eyes. hahaha. I am not kidding. I asked on the group chat who were the course directors going to be for a specific module that was starting in 3 days (i needed to request time off for a conference ASAP), and they all gave me fake names from TV shows that i didnt know... so i kept typing up the wrong names into the google search, and i was so confused. And then the next person would be: "oh, no, its actually Dr ....", and give another fake name from a TV show, that i would believe AGAIN... When i realized what was happening, i had already emailed my mentor who was asking me about the names (upper classmate, wanted to give me advice on how to handle course load). It was the most humiliating experience. I immediately left the group chat, and havent talked to my classmates since then (it has been about 6 months now). I felt bullied.... The worst part, - those were the "popular kids", the student leadership. This was the first time when i felt like i made a mistake coming here......

Don't get mad...get even.

 

[M&L]

Don't get mad...get even.

i just really dont understand how anything that i just said implies a self-fulfilling prophecy. i know what the term means, but i really dont see it. So i wonder that the logic was there.

 

[altblue]

i just really dont understand how anything that i just said implies a self-fulfilling prophecy. i know what the term means, but i really dont see it. So i wonder that the logic was there.

I wouldn't worry too much about that; readmyposts has a history of low-empathy trolling

I can't imagine how I'd feel if my own classmates treated me like that. You should feel free to deal with it in the way that you think is reasonable

 

[M&L]

I wouldn't worry too much about that; readmyposts has a history of low-empathy trolling

I can't imagine how I'd feel if my own classmates treated me like that. You should feel free to deal with it in the way that you think is reasonable

oh definitely. I did absolutely nothing wrong here.

i do believe that this person is seriously confusing this term with something else, because it really doesnt fit here.

" A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that causes itself to be true due to the behavior (including the act of predicting it) of the believer. Self-fulling, here, means “brought about as a result of being foretold or talked about,” while prophecy refers to the prediction. "

It is like, if you wake up and say that you will have a bad day, and that causes you to act in the certain way, and your actions simply do lead to the consequences: you end up having a bad day because of what you have been doing since you woke up.
So in my situation it was simple cause and effect, - them making fun of me cause me to leave the chat. It is not a self-fulfilling prophecy.