Med School Friendships

[altblue]

tbh, what I meant is that based on what’s quoted below, perhaps you think of yourself as someone with fewer friends or as someone who has difficulty making friends with people in your class, so then your behaviors start to align with those attitudes, which makes your original attitudes seem even more real. I’m only suggesting this as a possibility because I went through a similar experience in college, but then turned things around, and perhaps you could turn things around too and find some good friends

“me neither..... Was hanging out with a few people the first few weeks at the beginning of M1, but then they slowly edged me out (way too much age difference). So, no friends here... at all. not gonna lie, kind of depressing. But better this way than "fake-friend" someone for the sake of company...”

That's something I had considered too, but people who treat you like that aren't your worth your time. They will probably never truly respect you anyway

You can't look at the nature of that exchange and be like, oh man they had it coming; look at how fundamentally disrespectful the other students were

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[M&L]

tbh, what I meant is that based on what’s quoted below, perhaps you think of yourself as someone with fewer friends or as someone who has difficulty making friends with people in your class, so then your behaviors start to align with those attitudes, which makes your original attitudes seem even more real. I’m only suggesting this as a possibility because I went through a similar experience in college, but then turned things around, and perhaps you could turn things around too and find some good friends

“me neither..... Was hanging out with a few people the first few weeks at the beginning of M1, but then they slowly edged me out (way too much age difference). So, no friends here... at all. not gonna lie, kind of depressing. But better this way than "fake-friend" someone for the sake of company...”

actually - no. This is how it started. THEN i isolated from the class. Before that i was super active on facebook page, in group, etc. Picked up ppl from airports, went out with classmates for drinks, etc. People told me they appreciate how wholesome i am, etc. I was the person who, for example, send out different sweet things to cheer ppl up, etc. THEN, after it all happened, i realized that they were not the way i thought they were. So, dont you dare "diagnose" me based on your personal experience. Honestly, assigning specific attributes to your patients just because "it looks similar to what you had" is a horrible quality in a doctor, or any medical professional. and there is NOTHING wrong with me that i need to "turn around".

and the friends who "edged me out" were not the same people who did THAT. my "friends" are good people, they just didnt want to be friends with me for some reason (probably age, because they are all 11 years younger).

you REALLY pissed me off.

 

[ciestar]

actually - no. This is how it started. THEN i isolated from the class. Before that i was super active on facebook page, in group, etc. Picked up ppl from airports, went out with classmates for drinks, etc. People told me they appreciate how wholesome i am, etc. I was the person who, for example, send out different sweet things to cheer ppl up, etc. THEN, after it all happened, i realized that they were not the way i thought they were. So, dont you dare "diagnose" me based on your personal experience. Honestly, assigning specific attributes to your patients just because "it looks similar to what you had" is a horrible quality in a doctor, or any medical professional. and there is NOTHING wrong with me that i need to "turn around".

and the friends who "edged me out" were not the same people who did THAT. my "friends" are good people, they just didnt want to be friends with me for some reason (probably age, because they are all 11 years younger).

you REALLY pissed me off.

And their post is gone. Of course it is lol

 

[ValeRx]

(probably age, because they are all 11 years younger).

I too was several years senior to the majority of my pharmacy school class. I was non-trad, served overseas in the military before going to college. Luckily for me, they were all very accepting and when I separated from my ex wife, they kinda took me in. They did pull some silly pranks like leaving an AARP enrollment card on my 30th birthday on my desk and such but it was all in good fun and 8 years later, several of us are still very good friends to this day, despite living in different states.

 

[M&L]

I too was several years senior to the majority of my pharmacy school class. I was non-trad, served overseas in the military before going to college. Luckily for me, they were all very accepting and when I separated from my ex wife, they kinda took me in. They did pull some silly pranks like leaving an AARP enrollment card on my 30th birthday on my desk and such but it was all in good fun and 8 years later, several of us are still very good friends to this day, despite living in different states.

AARP. Hahahahaha . Brilliant .

 

[Damson]

Picked up ppl from airports, went out with classmates for drinks, etc. People told me they appreciate how wholesome i am, etc. I was the person who, for example, send out different sweet things to cheer ppl up, etc.

Aww this is so sweet

I hope I will find someone like you at med school when my journey begins.

 

[ValeRx]

AARP. Hahahahaha . Brilliant .

I'd also like to say that it was definitely odd being invited to 21st birthday parties as a 30 year old. I tried my best to fit in.

 

[EmilKraepelin55]

I am actually diagnosed with Autism, so my experience making friends in any capacity has always been one of great difficulty. What friends I do make though tend to be GREAT friends, and I was lucky enough to befriend one person in my anatomy group who also became an amazing study partner. She is also quite social and introduced me to a ton of other people, while also breaking me out of my comfort zone. Without her, I feel my experience in medical school would have been much more difficult. She helped me tremendously through the OMM and SP practicals, and I would help her with the basic sciences since that was my thing. So we made a great team, and I will never take that for granted.

 

[Mass Effect]

I'd also like to say that it was definitely odd being invited to 21st birthday parties as a 30 year old. I tried my best to fit in.

You had med school classmates turning 21?

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

You had med school classmates turning 21?

Pharmacy

 

[M&L]

Pharmacy

i have to admit - i have absolutely no idea how pharmacy school works.... I have better chances at locating an engine in my car (which, trust me, is very unlikely too).

 

[Mass Effect]

Pharmacy

Ahh. Don't know anything about pharmacy school. Still seems young.

 

[ciestar]

You had med school classmates turning 21?

I did. But my school has a BS/MD program.

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

Ahh. Don't know anything about pharmacy school. Still seems young.

PharmD programs are now pretty universally a 6 year program - 2 years of pre-reqs and 4 of pharmacy school. So pretty much everyone would be turning 21 during the first year of the pharmacy part of that. Equivalent to junior year of undergrad.

 

[M&L]

I did. But my school has a BS/MD program.

i always wondered about those programs. The way i see it, there is a positive and negative side to them, - on the one side, you have "guaranteed" acceptance (i am sure there are some sort of conditions), on the other hand, there is a certain danger in "streamlining" your mindset. I always thought that one of the greatest things about medical education in the US is that here medical degree is a graduate degree, and it gives you an option to explore other options during undergrad.... I wonder what would BS/MD students think about that part, - if they feel "obligated" to pursue medicine, i mean. Interesting.

 

[M&L]

PharmD programs are now pretty universally a 6 year program - 2 years of pre-reqs and 4 of pharmacy school. So pretty much everyone would be turning 21 during the first year of the pharmacy part of that. Equivalent to junior year of undergrad.

wait, so it is not a masters degree that requires some sort of other undergrad (like MD, PA and dental school)?

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

wait, so it is not a masters degree that requires some sort of other undergrad (like MD, PA and dental school)?

It requires 2 years of undergrad, which is basically used to get pre-reqs done. Its structured very similar to the 6 year BS/MD programs.

Its a clinical doctorate much like MD/DO/DDS/OD/DPT, you get the idea.

 

[ValeRx]

There are a few schools that require a BS/BA, as long as you meet the specific science pre-reqs such as chem, bio, orgo, physics, calculus. Some schools are now going to a 3 year undergrad/4 year graduate program. However, due to oversaturation, I expect the quality of PharmD candidates/graduates to decline. Pharmacy is undergoing a massive swing in a bad direction.

 

[ValeRx]

It requires 2 years of undergrad, which is basically used to get pre-reqs done. Its structured very similar to the 6 year BS/MD programs.

Its a clinical doctorate much like MD/DO/DDS/OD/DPT, you get the idea.

Correct, pharmacists have been graduating with the PharmD degree since the mid 2000s or so. BSPharm is the obsolete old degree. Older pharmacists may have this and are grandfathered in.

 

[ValeRx]

i always wondered about those programs. The way i see it, there is a positive and negative side to them, - on the one side, you have "guaranteed" acceptance (i am sure there are some sort of conditions), on the other hand, there is a certain danger in "streamlining" your mindset. I always thought that one of the greatest things about medical education in the US is that here medical degree is a graduate degree, and it gives you an option to explore other options during undergrad.... I wonder what would BS/MD students think about that part, - if they feel "obligated" to pursue medicine, i mean. Interesting.

Not all programs are a guaranteed in. In fact 99% of them are not. I can only think of one off the top of my head that is a 0+6 program where you are accepted out of high school, complete 2 years of undergrand pre-reqs and then automatically start the graduate program during years 3-6. All other schools require an application process much like MD/DO programs. We use PharmCAS, take the PCAT... or thats the way it used to be. Some places are not requiring it which, to me, is asinine. Imagine getting to med school without having to take the MCAT. Blows my mind and makes me a little fearful for patient safety in the future.

 

[ciestar]

There are a few schools that require a BS/BA, as long as you meet the specific science pre-reqs such as chem, bio, orgo, physics, calculus. Some schools are now going to a 3 year undergrad/4 year graduate program. However, due to oversaturation, I expect the quality of PharmD candidates/graduates to decline. Pharmacy is undergoing a massive swing in a bad direction.

This was one huge reason i said no to pharmacy. That and CVS was hell

 

[QuizzicalApe]

I became friends with my anatomy group. Even after we were done with anatomy lab we'd meet up throughout med school periodically for wings and beer at a place by campus. Never became super close with them or any other class mates to be honest, though, because I lived with and hung out with my close friends from college so I was pretty much set on socialization for the most part.

 

[piptheorangecat]

I sympathize with a lot of these experiences here. I would consider myself an introvert with mild social anxiety. During orientation week, I started hanging out with a group that eventually became extremely cliquey and were gunner types that wanted to study in the library all day. I also constantly felt like I had to yell to get a word in edgewise or just sat nodding and smiling in frustration. I also didn't catch on to the rules of the group and hung out with other people/didn't always go to every study session. Understandably, I was squeezed out of the group. I remember sitting at lunch and they all had a groupchat, and I was the only one not on it. They were referring to it all throughout lunch and no one suggested adding me. I realized they were not my friends and stopped hanging out with them. Slowly throughout the second half of first year and the beginning of second year, I found a loose group of chiller, nicer, more mature friends to hang out with. We might get together every few months but mostly did our own thing, which was a level of friendship I preferred. I've never had any trouble making friends throughout my life, so I don't think there was anything wrong with me. Just that some people's personalities won't mesh, and yes they're kind of immature, but it's better in the long run to find people who you enjoy being around. Also, medical school gets intense after the first few weeks and people don't really even see each other starting third year. So don't stress about not finding "lifelong friends" because that's an unrealistic expectation for how stressful med school is!

 

[ValeRx]

This was one huge reason i said no to pharmacy. That and CVS was hell

You're lucky you saw the light! So many young people thinking that going into the pharmacy profession at this time is a good idea. Lower pay, not even 40 fulltime hours anymore and even Walgreens has been laying off RPh's. Scary times out there.

 

[ciestar]

You're lucky you saw the light! So many young people thinking that going into the pharmacy profession at this time is a good idea. Lower pay, not even 40 fulltime hours anymore and even Walgreens has been laying off RPh's. Scary times out there.

The RPh floaters at CVS were miserable on top of all of that. Low pay, you have to drive all over the place from one store to the next... i was lead tech at my store for three years. I left because i got into med school. I only stayed because it was hard to find something else that paid me $15/hr, 30 hours a week, and no holidays or weekends.

I did very well on the PCAT that barely studied for. I deeply considered it but working at CVS just did me in.

 

[greenvsblack3]

One of the people I am friends with now, we actually interviewed on the same day and she was wearing a suit that I was originally planning on wearing (but then I wore another one instead). So we bonded over that, but we didnt become friends until second semester of first year.

The saturday before orientation, a bunch of first years got together at a local bar to meet. There were maybe 40 of us or so? This one girl and I noticed a cat on the patio and we both went up to the cat cuz it was so cute and we wanted to see if we could pet it. So that's how I met my first friend at school (obviously this isn't an option right now). I then made some other friends with students who sat behind me, but I always felt like the odd ball out. I wasn't in their group chat, I wasn't invited to Friendsgiving even tho I was in town the whole time and didn't get to go home for Thanksgiving like most people, and stuff like that. They were also a bit younger than me (one girl was over 5 years younger) and so there was a maturity difference to me too. So eventually I drifted apart from them. Beginning of second semester, the first OG friend I had had a small get together for her birthday and 2 of the people she invited are now in my close group of friends (including the girl who had the same suit as me on interview day). The other 2 people (we're a group of 5) just eventually came together due to common interests (Harry potter being one of them) and now we got our group chat, ask each other questions, hang out, etc. I made another friend thru my OMM partner first semester and we're study buddies now.

I was so scared of not making friends in med school. In grad school, I had absolutely no friends in my entire program of about 20 students. Not a single one. I'd sit in the library alone studying, while at least 5 of my classmates were at the table next to me. It was always awkward when I tried to join in. I was from the city where I attended grad school, so I had some of my high school/college friends who lived there, and I had 2 jobs so I had work friends from that too, but it was really awful not having a single friend in school because grad school was HARD. I can't imagine not having friends in med school cuz its even worse. Some of the stories posted above are....awful. I cannot even imagine having to experience that and I am so sorry you had to go thru that--no one deserves to be treated that way.

I also feel for the first years since they don't get the opportunities most of us had to make friends. I know the SGA at my school tries to hold zoom events with first years to help.

 

[ciestar]

To follow up my very pitiful posts from earlier, my one co-intern and I are becoming good friends so there is upside.

 

[Damson]

To follow up my very pitiful posts from earlier, my one co-intern and I are becoming good friends so there is upside.

hugs-level good friend?

 

[ciestar]

hugs-level good friend?

Yes. Cat meme sharing friend good lol

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Yes. Cat meme sharing friend good lol

The best kind!

 

[esob]

Funny story, I have a study buddy and I'm terrible with names so for the first few days we studied together I literally didn't know his name. This isn't the first time this has happened either. The guy I studied through all of undergrad with I knew and studied with for a solid week before I knew his name.

 

[Eye-eye]

I met friends through a mixture of actively inviting over for a beer or some such because they seemed friendly and fun, getting to know them in extracurriculars like AMA or interest groups, sitting next to them in lecture or working with them in PBL, or having a lot of the same rotations in M3.

Our school rotates us through a ton of small groups in M1-2, so we all got to know each other at least somewhat. I hated all the required small groups at the time as they weren't as efficient for learning, but I appreciated it in M3 when it was great to see other med students and catch up (instead of gunning against each other) because we had all somewhat gotten to know each other. Sad to see the ****ty juvenile and disrespectful behavior that these future doctors engage in at other schools. Maybe I just got lucky with an awesome class, but that would not fly here.

 

[mistafab]

I had 4 main med school friends. One I met very early through orientation. Another we kept studying in the same lounge and just clicked. Another through a research group - saw he was swol AF and we started working out together. A last one through the swol friend and we eventually were gym partners.

Definitely had good times. My school had a pretty decent mix though.

 

[akwho]

My main med school friend was my study buddy starting the first block of first year. We played basketball and worked out together, lived together, studied together. She was in my wedding party and we still talk every week or so.

<3 to the good med school friends out there

 

[solitarius]

My MedSchool classmates were majority douchebag. I was not surprised.

22-24 yo MS1's who only know how to gun to get to the next level.

 

[altblue]

My MedSchool classmates were majority douchebag. I was not surprised.

22-24 yo MS1's who only know how to gun to get to the next level.

Who needs friends when you have an ortho slot to get

 

[JSReed]

Who needs friends when you have an ortho slot to get

....well who's gonna spot you at the gym?

 

[SpoiledMilk]

 

[deleted804295]

I don't think I'll make friends in med school tbh.

Maybe like 1 or 2. But I've always been kinda an odd one out because I could never get into drinking scenes or being fake around people I dislike.

 

[deleted804295]

I met my first friend in med school when I sat down next to her during orientation. She was the first person I met. Ended up doing residency together and being co-chiefs together. Never would have imagined we’d still be friends over a decade later when I sat down that day but here we are.

Best advice I have is to just be yourself. First few months most people act kinda fake. You’ll figure out who you click with over time. Don’t sweat it.

As a very assertive person the fakeness is something I can never get past.

 

[deleted804295]

Don't get mad...get even.

Oh man...

 

[PapaGuava]

I was expecting to meet a solid group of friends upon entering medical school like I had did in undergrad, but first year more or less turned out to just knowing a lot of people on an acquaintance level. However I was fortunate enough to meet my best friend and girlfriend shortly before our first year of classes had started. I was not expecting to develop a relationship like that so quickly into medical school but it has turned out to be one of the best things to have happened because we have been a study duo since day one and the immense support for each other has made medical school day to day much easier.

 

[slowthai]

I was expecting to meet a solid group of friends upon entering medical school like I had did in undergrad, but first year more or less turned out to just knowing a lot of people on a acquaintance level.

This has been my exact experience. But friends are low yield anyway...or at least that's what I tell myself *insert eyes emoji*

But seriously, it just hasn't happened for me yet. Like I said in another thread, here's to hoping I click with someone in the next few years. If not, there's always residency.

 

[PapaGuava]

This has been my exact experience. But friends are low yield anyway...or at least that's what I tell myself *insert eyes emoji*

But seriously, it just hasn't happened for me yet. Like I said in another thread, here's to hoping I click with someone in the next few years. If not, there's always residency.

At first i was kind of disappointed about it because I really was hoping to find a few guy friends that I truly clicked with, but I just never found it which is perfectly fine now in second year. It is just a weird time because all of my closer friends from college and before that are moving away from my home town area, and I don't know where I'll end up during rotations/residency. So it's like you lose close contact with friends on both fronts haha. I suppose it's part of moving on and seeing what the future holds!

 

[Chibucks15]

Gonna be honest and there is no real way med school is like undergrad. This is professional school and you have people treating it as such. Maybe I’m unique but I made a couple friends in the “premed” community but most of my best friends in college were engineers or business guys.

Idk I hope people find good friends and I hope people are happy and all that but I don’t understand the expectation that med school will be like undergrad. Many people will have families, prior jobs, etc.

Welcome to the real world ladies and gents. It sucks but we’re all still pushin through

 

[datboi_58]

I don't think I'll make friends in med school tbh.

Maybe like 1 or 2. But I've always been kinda an odd one out because I could never get into drinking scenes or being fake around people I dislike.

I relate to this a lot.

It’s interesting to me that people wear masks while talking to each other or sometimes even playing sports but drinking is a good excuse to take masks off. I understand eating because eating is essential to life (although I suppose people can eat alone and get together before/after mealtime) but instead of not drinking in order to continue wearing masks in social situations, the solution is actually to take masks off in order to drink. Idk but it’s just weird to me to live in a world where it’s more acceptable to not wear a mask in drinking situations than in just a casual having a good convo with a friend situation.

 

[LunaOri]

I don't think I'll make friends in med school tbh.

Maybe like 1 or 2. But I've always been kinda an odd one out because I could never get into drinking scenes or being fake around people I dislike.

It's medical school. Not everyone will be into drinking scenes or being fake (civil, sure, but not pretending to be besties).

 

[slowthai]

It's medical school. Not everyone will be into drinking scenes or being fake (civil, sure, but not pretending to be besties).

Yeah, what is this fakeness people always speak of? I have yet to see it. Maybe I'm just oblivious, lol

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I don't think I'll make friends in med school tbh.

Maybe like 1 or 2. But I've always been kinda an odd one out because I could never get into drinking scenes or being fake around people I dislike.

You don’t have to be into drinking or be fake to make friends in med school. Plenty of your classmates will have actual interests and have things in common with you.

Also being civil with people even when you don’t like them isn’t being fake. It’s being an adult. Acting rude to someone you don’t particularly like doesn’t make someone more “real.” It makes them a jerk.

 

[deleted804295]

You don’t have to be into drinking or be fake to make friends in med school. Plenty of your classmates will have actual interests and have things in common with you.

Also being civil with people even when you don’t like them isn’t being fake. It’s being an adult. Acting rude to someone you don’t particularly like doesn’t make someone more “real.” It makes them a jerk.

I didn't say I wasn't civil to people I didn't like . Not sure where you're getting that from.