Off Topic Joke

[Wolphcats]

I know many of us didn't like physics, including me, but I figured I should share this intellectual joke with people who would understand it. Sorry to geek out on you guys!

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is has to seek and is supposed to count upto 100 and then start searching.

Everyone starts hiding except Newton - he just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rite in front of Einstein.

Einstein keeps counting......97,98,99.....100........

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front.

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....." Newton denies and says i am not out. He claims that he is not Newton!!

All the scientists come out and he proves that he is not newton..........


how?


Proof:

Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.
That means i am Newton per meter square.
Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter square = Pascal,
Pascal is OUT.

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[Mereafterthough]

I know many of us didn't like physics, including me, but I figured I should share this intellectual joke with people who would understand it. Sorry to geek out on you guys!

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is has to seek and is supposed to count upto 100 and then start searching.

Everyone starts hiding except Newton - he just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rite in front of Einstein.

Einstein keeps counting......97,98,99.....100........

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front.

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....." Newton denies and says i am not out. He claims that he is not Newton!!

All the scientists come out and he proves that he is not newton..........


how?


Proof:

Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.
That means i am Newton per meter square.
Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter square = Pascal,
Pascal is OUT.

What's most sad about this joke is not how bad it is, it's the fact that I ACTUALLY understand it...::throws up in mouth a little:: But nonetheless HAHA!

 

[HopefulAg]

Lol awesome.

Nothing ruins a good joke more than not having anyone to tell it to without having to explain.

 

[bruinvetman]

That is a VERY nerdy joke, haha! i love it

 

[lalzi22]

I love all things nerdy, and this is wonderful.

 

[clairbear]

Haha, that's awesome

 

[Gilrandir]

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were debating the profession of God.

"He's clearly a mechanical engineer," cried the Mech E. "Just look at the intricacy of human musculoskeletal structure! The articulation of our joints!"

"No, no, He's obviously an electrical engineer," the EE contradicted. "Why, look at our nervous systems! The brain alone has how many billions of synapses?"

The civil engineer snorted. "God is clearly a civil engineer," he declared. "Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreation area?"

 

[Truby]

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician were out game hunting. The engineer spied a bear in the distance, so they got a little closer. "Let me take the first shot!" said the engineer, who missed the bear by three feet to the left. "You're incompetent! Let me try" insisted the physicist, who then proceeded to miss by three feet to the right. "Ooh, we got him!!" said the statistician.


A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm a graduate student. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
Nothing, you can't cross a scalar with a vector

 

[HopefulAg]

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
Nothing, you can't cross a scalar with a vector

Lol. I was laughing at that and my mom was sitting near me so she asked what I was laughing at. I thought about telling her that she wouldn't get it but figured that'd just create issue, so I told her the joke. She just gave me a blank gaze, called me a nerd, and went back to reading her book lol.


Oh and the statistician joke is pretty spot on as well, but an engineer would never measure his inaccuracy in feet! He missed by 0.9144 meters and that's that.

 

[Minnerbelle]

what did the tree of math knowledge say?

"gee i'm a tree!" (say it aloud)

 

[Minnerbelle]

what did the tree of math knowledge say?

"gee i'm a tree!" (say it aloud)

 

[causticus]

Hahaha, I love you nerds!

 

[lyndaelyzoo]

The Science Behind a Veterinarian's Pay

The "Salary Theorem" states that "Veterinarians can never earn as much as business executives and sales people." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: 1. Knowledge is Power. 2. Time is Money. Now, recall from physics class: Power = Work / Time. Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, then Knowledge = Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.