OK - want to hear my story and why I have such ****ing bad luck with relationships? So this girl I have been talking to is very nice, I really like her. We share a sense of humor, make each other laugh, really enjoy talking to each other. And she loves sports particularly baseball and has polish heritage and has other similar interests to me. Like my perfect woman. So the first weekend we were actually going to get together and spend quality time together (she lives an hour away) she has to go into work on both saturday and sunday for like 14 hour shifts because JCAHO is coming and that's part of her job. And on friday she couldn't hang out with me because her friend dumped her boyfriend and made her hang out with her alone. So that wouldn't be a huge deal, except she was busy the next three weekends as well - one was a scheduled vacation to visit family, one was taken up with an all day wedding and then an all day work retreat, then the other weekend her parents were coming to visit.
So, then she got a promotion at work this past monday, and suddenly her job goes from 40 hours a week to more like 60, and it is a new stressful job and she is worried she won't be able to handle it, etc. In other words, not as free as she was before. So she said on monday that she was probably going to come out here on friday to hang out with friends at a bar and that I could meet her there and then we would hang out afterwards. That's cool, I said, because otherwise given that I am so busy this month I can't really drive out there except on weekends anyway and you aren't free on weekends.
So the amazing emails and phone calls sort of petered out this past week because basically she was working like 15 hours a day for JCAHO stuff (this was a terribly busy week for them all). But still, I managed to get her to still try to come out here on friday, although I told her I would gladly drive out there and leave work early on friday. But she wanted to see her friends too, so I told her to leave me a message on my voice mail (because my phone doesn't work in the hospital for the most part) about where and when to meet her. So she left me a message saying where, but didn't say when. So I left the hospital at like 6pm, and called her back, left a message asking her to tell me what time she was planning on getting to the bar. Never heard back. I debated just going to the bar because I figured she would be there, but I also didn't want to crash her fun with her friends because I have never met them and for all I know they want to just be with the girls. So I assumed she would get my message and call me back.
I waited until 10 and finally gave up after getting really pissed off and upset and left her another message (still no answer) about how I was sorry we couldn't get together and I wasn't sure what happened because it seemed like maybe she didn't want to see me or something. So a half hour later I guess she finally got all the messages (she had left her phone in her car, how am I supposed to know she hates cell phones as much as I do? 😍 ), and was royally pissed at me for making her upset and trying to make her feel guilty. I said, "well, I wasn't about to just show up at the bar when I wasn't sure you were going to be there - plus, I thought maybe you had decided you didn't want to see me tonight because you wanted a girls night." Of course, by this point she was on her way back home and I said, "why don't you turn around and come here before you go home?" And she didn't want to because she was tired (because she got about 4 hours of sleep every night this week) and she wasn't happy with me either.
So now I am getting royally pissed off but I can't really say that because she had a horrible week, is going through a personal crisis with the new job, and apparently she did really want to see me. Then I told her I thought maybe she didn't want to see me because her emails had been really brief this week and she didn't return my call when I called her one time. Plus, she had written an email, "I really like you, but I might be too busy to like you, if you know what I mean." So I figured maybe she was avoiding me because of all that. So she then flips out (I thought she was going to crash her car at that point) and says, "I TOLD you I was going to be busy this week!" etc. Then to top it all off she starts complaining about how she thinks she's not smart enough for me and she feels inferior around me. This makes me feel like ****.
But so she called me back when she got home and we had another talk for about an hour and a half and now I have no idea where things stand. I still really like this girl, and her passionate nature and her dedication to her job are big turnons for me, which I told her. And I said that living an hour away isn't necessarily a huge deal. But she is not so sure she agrees. Says that she can't devote enough time to a relationship and to her new stressful job and is worried that one of them might suffer. Of course, I try to tell her that I know all about stressful situations and mental suffering from this and told her about my past and my med school experiences, etc. So I dunno. Problem is I won't be able to see her for another 2 or 3 weeks at which point who knows. The bloom may have come off the rose at the point, so to speak, and our initial infatuation with each other may have faded. Or who knows, maybe we meet someone else!
But @#$! it am I off base to expect her to let me know when to meet her?
But I am pissed off because if I could describe my perfect girl she has like 9 of 10 characteristics I would pick. 😡 😡 And I know she likes me. 😡 Why does my timing suck so much? If I had met her one month ago things would be so totally different.
p.s. she said to me on the phone after the anger died down, "too bad you didn't come to the bar because I get horny when I drink." And she also said, "I had my clothes and toiletry stuff in the car so I could spend the night with (her female friend) if I got drunk." Of course, I immediately realized that this could just as soon have meant me and not the female friend. 😡 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!