RANT HERE thread

Veterinary Science Graduate Programs from U. of I.
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In my chemistry lab we have a presentation tomorrow, but we have to submit the powerpoint by tonight at 8pm. We mostly completed the powerpoint last week during lab, but the group member who's computer it is on was supposed to email it to us so we could each polish up our individual sections and then he could submit it by the 8pm deadline tonight. I've been emailing him and the other group member and so far I have heard NOTHING back from him at all! We get docked ~15% of the presentation grade if it isn't submitted by tonight and I'm just stressing out because I have no idea if he's submitted it or not, and I haven't gotten a chance to work on my individual slides! UGH - sometimes I absolutely HATE group projects!
 
My hour-and-a-half-long commute to and from work three days/week, my hour-long commute to school twice/week, 13-hour shifts, and hours of homework on my days off is starting to wear on me. Ugh.
 
Today just sucks. My "study buddy" seems to have turned into the rest of my groupmates. Only in it for herself. I had a huge fight with my husband last night and things are better today. Just found out my old clinic (where I got my start) hired a new doctor because the original doctor of the practice (owner until he sold it probably for better benefits for his staff, though he was still in charge) is no longer working there. All I can think of is "Now where will I get a job when I graduate?" The NY Times article has me down and my sister's dog is sick. She's got an appointment with the new vet on Friday. And I'm tired of the cloudy skies and even though today was sunny I was in class 8 until 5.
 
StartingoverVet said:
MrsSOV was forced to take a leave of absence because she missed first 3 weeks of school due to hospitalization, although she wanted to (at least try to) come back.

Now she is being kicked out of her graduate housing and I have to scramble to move her stuff out.

Oh, and they cancel her health insurance as well. Nice... Get sick, lose insurance. Makes a lot of sense.

This year just gets more and more wonderful.

:meanie:
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Ugh. I'm so sorry SOV.
 
Fall down the steps right before an interview. Good start to the day.
 
Has anyone ever felt completely empty of all emotions??

I don't know how else to explain it but I don't feel happy, sad, frustrated, stressed, etc, etc... I literally feel nothing... it is a strange feeling... has anyone ever felt that way?
 
Not exactly a rant but... I have an 8-10 hour car trip planned for tomorrow (to look at apartments) and I'm excited about the purpose but extremely worried about the car part. My husband and I were in a pretty bad accident a few months ago - our rental car was completely totaled but we walked away with just some bruises. The accident was NOT our fault. My husband is actually a fantastic driver so I trust him... but I don't trust everyone else on the road. Our accident was caused by a friggin dump truck running a red light. Had either of us been going slightly faster the dump truck would have T-boned us in the intersection and my husband would not be here today. So I guess in a rather overdramatic way I feel like we have cheated death and that next time we won't be so lucky. 🙁 Any tips on remaining calm?
 
felinelvr44 said:
Not exactly a rant but... I have an 8-10 hour car trip planned for tomorrow (to look at apartments) and I'm excited about the purpose but extremely worried about the car part. My husband and I were in a pretty bad accident a few months ago - our rental car was completely totaled but we walked away with just some bruises. The accident was NOT our fault. My husband is actually a fantastic driver so I trust him... but I don't trust everyone else on the road. Our accident was caused by a friggin dump truck running a red light. Had either of us been going slightly faster the dump truck would have T-boned us in the intersection and my husband would not be here today. So I guess in a rather overdramatic way I feel like we have cheated death and that next time we won't be so lucky. 🙁 Any tips on remaining calm?
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Wow, felinelvr--that sounds very traumatic and I am sorry that you had to experience that.

As you said, your husband is a fantastic driver and you trust him. Continue trusting him. If you begin to feel uneasy, focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths. I think it's OK for you to ask your husband to pull over if you think you need a moment.

Given that you are both intelligent, aware, and responsible results, your odds of being in any kind of accident are much lower.

Best wishes on your trip, you guys will be just fine!
 
DVMDream said:
Has anyone ever felt completely empty of all emotions??

I don't know how else to explain it but I don't feel happy, sad, frustrated, stressed, etc, etc... I literally feel nothing... it is a strange feeling... has anyone ever felt that way?
Click to expand...

Yes the word you are looking for is "apathy" and it's my default state.
 
I know the correspondence with the head of professional schools for vet school does not affect my application at all, but I feel like an idiot.

He just emailed me to say he did not receive my GRE re-write scores and gave me the option to get them in before the committee makes their decisions. I did not end up writing the GRE like planned so I apologized, thanked him for getting in contact with me and told I him I would contact him about it in the future if the situation arises again.

I am having another moment of feeling hopeless and doomed. On top of that, it really hurts that I would likely have an interview if I was a resident somewhere else. That thought is like a kick in the stomach. I am no where near good enough for vet school living where I am, but if I jump ship I automatically become a competitive candidate. And my average for their 20 pre-reqs is only an 80.8! And my abysmal (compared to Americans) GRE score is average. I should consider myself lucky... but I cannot help but worry that even if I gain 2 magical points and get accepted that I will suck.

This rant is half due to the fact that my rejection letter should be arriving any day in the mail and half due to the fact that I feel like crap. I am back to not being able to get out of bed in the mornings and having less energy compared to when I got my first B-12 shot. I have a naturopathic doctor's appointment next week and then I likely have to bother my family doctor for bloodwork and drugs.

I have these moments where I think that if this is how I am going to feel for the rest of my life, I do not want to live. I am tired all of the time. I am forgetful. I have trouble stringing sentences together because I forget words. I get anxious at random times. I cannot comprehend a lot of what I read. I would rather sleep than be intimate with my boyfriend. I fear going to any sort of meeting because I know I will doze off.
 
Trematode said:
I am tired all of the time. I am forgetful. I have trouble stringing sentences together because I forget words. I get anxious at random times. I cannot comprehend a lot of what I read. I would rather sleep than be intimate with my boyfriend. I fear going to any sort of meeting because I know I will doze off.
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This sounds like me. I guess I've just dealt with it, and I've accepted that's how I function. I know when I am most productive, so I try to plan everything around that time. I only go to class when I have to for participation because I cannot focus on lecture and do not learn anything when someone just talks to me. I learn better on my own by making my own notes, reading, and picking out the important information for exams. As for sleep, I try to get 8 hours a night. Usually it's more like 7 hours because it takes me a while to fall asleep, but I am okay with the 7 hour most days. Today sucks. I am very tired, stomach cramps (as always) and I have heartburn. I want to go home and lay in my bed but I cannot, because I have lecture with participation today. Ugh.

I feel ya.
 
Trematode said:
I know the correspondence with the head of professional schools for vet school does not affect my application at all, but I feel like an idiot.

He just emailed me to say he did not receive my GRE re-write scores and gave me the option to get them in before the committee makes their decisions. I did not end up writing the GRE like planned so I apologized, thanked him for getting in contact with me and told I him I would contact him about it in the future if the situation arises again.

I am having another moment of feeling hopeless and doomed. On top of that, it really hurts that I would likely have an interview if I was a resident somewhere else. That thought is like a kick in the stomach. I am no where near good enough for vet school living where I am, but if I jump ship I automatically become a competitive candidate. And my average for their 20 pre-reqs is only an 80.8! And my abysmal (compared to Americans) GRE score is average. I should consider myself lucky... but I cannot help but worry that even if I gain 2 magical points and get accepted that I will suck.

This rant is half due to the fact that my rejection letter should be arriving any day in the mail and half due to the fact that I feel like crap. I am back to not being able to get out of bed in the mornings and having less energy compared to when I got my first B-12 shot. I have a naturopathic doctor's appointment next week and then I likely have to bother my family doctor for bloodwork and drugs.

I have these moments where I think that if this is how I am going to feel for the rest of my life, I do not want to live. I am tired all of the time. I am forgetful. I have trouble stringing sentences together because I forget words. I get anxious at random times. I cannot comprehend a lot of what I read. I would rather sleep than be intimate with my boyfriend. I fear going to any sort of meeting because I know I will doze off.
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Try not to worry about it until you actually hear from them. I know it's hard, but don't stress yourself out without any answers. :luck: :xf: I know you have looked into moving to a different province, is there any way to re-visit that or are you stuck where you are?
 
DVMDream said:
Has anyone ever felt completely empty of all emotions??

I don't know how else to explain it but I don't feel happy, sad, frustrated, stressed, etc, etc... I literally feel nothing... it is a strange feeling... has anyone ever felt that way?
Click to expand...

Detached mental state is not apathy, and it is not a good sign. I am no doctor, but I do know it is associated frequently with clinical depression. If this is not just a passing thing, please seek help.

I can talk to you privately if need be. You are going through a hell of a lot, and could use some help perhaps.
 
Trematode said:
I have these moments where I think that if this is how I am going to feel for the rest of my life, I do not want to live. I am tired all of the time. I am forgetful. I have trouble stringing sentences together because I forget words. I get anxious at random times. I cannot comprehend a lot of what I read. I would rather sleep than be intimate with my boyfriend. I fear going to any sort of meeting because I know I will doze off.
Click to expand...

psilovethomas said:
This sounds like me. I guess I've just dealt with it, and I've accepted that's how I function. I know when I am most productive, so I try to plan everything around that time. I only go to class when I have to for participation because I cannot focus on lecture and do not learn anything when someone just talks to me. I learn better on my own by making my own notes, reading, and picking out the important information for exams. As for sleep, I try to get 8 hours a night. Usually it's more like 7 hours because it takes me a while to fall asleep, but I am okay with the 7 hour most days. Today sucks. I am very tired, stomach cramps (as always) and I have heartburn. I want to go home and lay in my bed but I cannot, because I have lecture with participation today. Ugh.

I feel ya.
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I don't normally endorse a product, but this is one that has really worked for me. I'm the same as you two. Always tired, little energy, I take multivitamins. They do help, but not as much as I would like. Can't concentrate, 'foggy brain'.

http://www.shakeology.com/

It does seem expensive at roughly $128 per month, BUT it equals out to $4 per day. And it is a meal replacement. I usually have mine for breakfast with a piece of toast or 1/2 bagel. It seems like a lot of money at first, but think about how much you spend per day on food. After a while, you will spend less, because you aren't craving as much junk anymore and drinking energy drinks(or coffee drinks).

And the Vegan Chocolate and Vegan Tropical Strawberry are delicious! 😍
 
kernel said:
Wow, felinelvr--that sounds very traumatic and I am sorry that you had to experience that.

As you said, your husband is a fantastic driver and you trust him. Continue trusting him. If you begin to feel uneasy, focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths. I think it's OK for you to ask your husband to pull over if you think you need a moment.

Given that you are both intelligent, aware, and responsible results, your odds of being in any kind of accident are much lower.

Best wishes on your trip, you guys will be just fine!
Click to expand...

Thank you, truly. After watching an old Top Gear episode on car safety last night I decided to change our car reservation (zipcar) to a slightly different car with all 5-star crash ratings. It might be a little silly but I think it will make me feel better knowing that I did as much as I possibly could.
 
Thanks all 🙂
I am just having one of those days.
I have another year off of school to try and get better (and if I can't, try to figure out a way to make it work). Then I want to put 110% into retaking courses.

I had spent a couple of months looking for work in other provinces. Jobs were rare and the three I applied for, I heard nothing back. Maybe I should start looking again. It does not hurt to apply, but I like my job and living with the boy.

I will have a look at those shakes. I cannot drink protein shakes though. I have tried the Vega and Harmonized Vegan Protein. They are too sweet and the texture makes me gag.

I am trying my hardest to put an optimistic spin on things.
 
StartingoverVet said:
Detached mental state is not apathy, and it is not a good sign. I am no doctor, but I do know it is associated frequently with clinical depression. If this is not just a passing thing, please seek help.

I can talk to you privately if need be. You are going through a hell of a lot, and could use some help perhaps.
Click to expand...

🙁

I have been trying really hard to work through it and I was doing well for a while, but the complete emotional void keeps returning.... I really have no idea what to do from here.
 
Trematode said:
Thanks all 🙂
I am just having one of those days.
I have another year off of school to try and get better (and if I can't, try to figure out a way to make it work). Then I want to put 110% into retaking courses.

I had spent a couple of months looking for work in other provinces. Jobs were rare and the three I applied for, I heard nothing back. Maybe I should start looking again. It does not hurt to apply, but I like my job and living with the boy.

I will have a look at those shakes. I cannot drink protein shakes though. I have tried the Vega and Harmonized Vegan Protein. They are too sweet and the texture makes me gag.

I am trying my hardest to put an optimistic spin on things.
Click to expand...

I have a hard time with protein powders - soy is a waste of time because it's not a complete protein and whey protein makes me really bloated and gassy. I've tried egg white protein but I can't find it without flavoring and it just grosses me out (way too sweet). Anyway - I use unflavored hemp seed protein (it's a complete protein) and I absolutely love it. It's never disagreed with me. Most health food stores carry it if you want to give it a try 😀

I will forewarn you that it's a bit grainy - but I prefer that to super sweet/sugary nastiness.
 
DVMDream said:
🙁

I have been trying really hard to work through it and I was doing well for a while, but the complete emotional void keeps returning.... I really have no idea what to do from here.
Click to expand...

I'm not current with what all you've done and what doctors you've seen, but is their a good neurologist near you? My ex used to have a lot of the issues that you describe, and it took a while, but he found a doctor that suited him and it made a world of difference. It did however take lots of trial and error, but because my ex trusted the doctor, he stuck with it until they achieved some measure of success.

In the meantime, Hugs and listening ears.
 
EngrSC said:
. Anyway - I use unflavored hemp seed protein (it's a complete protein) and I absolutely love it. It's never disagreed with me. Most health food stores carry it if you want to give it a try 😀

I will forewarn you that it's a bit grainy - but I prefer that to super sweet/sugary nastiness.
Click to expand...

Pumpkin seed protein powder 😍
 
Trematode said:
Thanks all 🙂
I am just having one of those days.
I have another year off of school to try and get better (and if I can't, try to figure out a way to make it work). Then I want to put 110% into retaking courses.

I had spent a couple of months looking for work in other provinces. Jobs were rare and the three I applied for, I heard nothing back. Maybe I should start looking again. It does not hurt to apply, but I like my job and living with the boy.

I will have a look at those shakes. I cannot drink protein shakes though. I have tried the Vega and Harmonized Vegan Protein. They are too sweet and the texture makes me gag.

I am trying my hardest to put an optimistic spin on things.
Click to expand...

It's not a protein shake. It's meal replacement. I don't recomment using milk(I know you won't, but others). It made me gassy. 😳 I use Soy Milk. If you use unsweetened almond milk, it's not too sweet. I love the chocolate with 16 oz of cold coffee(I make the coffee the night before and refrig it, then blend in blender)
 
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wolfspeaker said:
It's not a protein shake. It's meal replacement. I don't recomment using milk(I know you won't, but others). It made me gassy. 😳 I use Soy Milk. If you use unsweetened soy milk, it's not too sweet. I love the chocolate with 16 oz of cold coffee(I make the coffee the night before and refrig it, then blend in blender)
Click to expand...

I am a little nervous with anything that comes in a powdered form because lately we have not gotten along haha.

I have hemp protein. The full serving tastes a little weird, but I don't projectile spit it up. I use that on a regular basis. I should be having it more. I just haven't found a really good combination of hemp and other ingredients that make me run for a drink in the mornings or after a workout.
 
Urgh. The shakes look so good! I wish they had a one-serving pack to try.
 
Trematode said:
I am a little nervous with anything that comes in a powdered form because lately we have not gotten along haha.

I have hemp protein. The full serving tastes a little weird, but I don't projectile spit it up. I use that on a regular basis. I should be having it more. I just haven't found a really good combination of hemp and other ingredients that make me run for a drink in the mornings or after a workout.
Click to expand...

I think I've gotten used to it with time. My smoothies consist of banana, berries (strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries), banana, walnuts and/or flaxseed, hemp seed protein, and unsweetened almond milk. Love it!
 
Trematode said:
Urgh. The shakes look so good! I wish they had a one-serving pack to try.
Click to expand...

I wish they sent single serving samples to try, too. Like 5 variety packs for $15 or something. I also am hoping they come out with Vanilla soon. 😍 If I was closer, I'd send a few oz's for you to try. But I don't think border would approve. 😛
 
StartingoverVet said:
Detached mental state is not apathy, and it is not a good sign. I am no doctor, but I do know it is associated frequently with clinical depression. If this is not just a passing thing, please seek help.

I can talk to you privately if need be. You are going through a hell of a lot, and could use some help perhaps.
Click to expand...

Don't necessarily have to be detached. Depersonalization or derealization go a bit deeper than just lack of feeling, IMO. And those are signs you need help, like yesterday.
 
Coquette22 said:
Third midterm in a week tomorrow - principles of surgery. There aren't words for how much I don't want to study this tonight.
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I'm with you 🙁 I'm getting through the notes but I feel like a robot and I'm pretty sure I'm going to forget all of it.

Also, we have lecture, then tox and THEN our exam. Why can't they just give the exam during classtime like normal people :wtf:
 
that redhead said:
I'm with you 🙁 I'm getting through the notes but I feel like a robot and I'm pretty sure I'm going to forget all of it.

Also, we have lecture, then tox and THEN our exam. Why can't they just give the exam during classtime like normal people :wtf:
Click to expand...

Yeah, cause nothing gets the mental juices flowing like tox. :uhno: I really don't think I actually retain anything that man says.

I didn't mind cramming for clin path. I like clin path. There's a process and way of putting the information together that works for my brain. Surgery so far is just... lists of stuff, basically. Suture patterns, instruments... And all the lectures seem so damn long! Well, here I go. It gets three hours from me starting now.
 
I was just sick to my stomach... and choked on it.

I missed two days of work two weeks ago for being sick to my stomach. I think it might be the tyrosine the doctor wanted me to take. I cannot remember the last time I took it, but I took it at dinner tonight and now I feel like garbage. I think that was it.

🙁
 
Minor rant: People on the train that don't invest in decent earphones or at least keep their music at a reasonable level. Britney is cool and all, but not through your earphones. 😡

I wish driving downtown for work was more feasible. 🙁
 
A very, very vague police report was released about how the rape and battery victim on my campus has "admitted" that she "staged the rape" and "falsified the reports." Not only has one of the police mentioned pressing charges against her, but hundreds of people on my campus have decided she deserves to be thrown in prison. The reason this bothers me is because there are so many gaps in the police report stating she made it up that I'm not convinced she was not threatened or forced into rescinding her statement and even if she was not, I'm not convinced that she wasn't raped. Because sometimes it's a hell of a lot easier to say you weren't or that it didn't happen than to face that you were. Furthermore, let's play along and say she did make it up, I don't see why she's deserving of compassion as a rape victim but not as someone who feels they need to falsify rape in order to get help. It bothers me that our society plays so much with the idea of compassion as a luxury. Compassion is not a privilege. It is a right. I think it's mighty arrogant to assume we get to decide who deserves it and who doesn't. But what do I know, I'm the "weird one" who sympathises with mentally ill and violent criminals. :boom:
 
I have a worksheet for my Developmental Biology group project due tomorrow which is basically reading 3 journal articles then answering 2 pages of questions about each article which is easy enough. However, I've been emailing my group since Wednesday, and I got one email back saying that we should meet today and that she would email us later that day, and she wanted to talk to her friend first who was going to ask the professor questions about it on Wednesday. Since then, I've gotten nothing though, and I think I'm just going to do it myself and then tell the professor about it tomorrow which I really hate doing, but I don't want them to get credit for the work that I did. Plus, we also have to do a 15 minute presentation with our groups later in the semester, and I really want a good grade on it and I don't want to be penalized for not working well with them.

We have a test in that class tomorrow too that I still need to go over a lot of material for, and I have a midterm tomorrow for my English class. Its going to be a late night. :boom:
 
I'm so much more excited about our spring break trip than the other people going with me, and I feel like I'm imposing on them trying to plan stuff. I want to involve them in planning because they're coming too, but they just want to spend as little time with it as possible/do we have to do it now? (yes, we should have done it at least a couple of weeks ago). Last spring break I planned things that weren't feasible for us because I didn't involve everyone in the planning (they asked me to just do it!) but trying to involve everyone isn't working either. Things just don't work out either way. 🙁

I know it will be a good trip when we actually get there...at least, I hope it will be...
 
My dog's stomach is SERIOUSLY noisy. Hoping I actually get to "sleep in" on my day off tomorrow and not have to get up for his rumbly tumbly. 🙄
 
I submitted my FAFSA yesterday. Sigh. I'm not sure that I'll be eligible since my father owns a small business and has to report are large adjusted gross income. Not only that, but I'm also a minority shareholder. So on paper, it looks like I have money. But I don't. I'm scared and frustrated.
 
kernel said:
I submitted my FAFSA yesterday. Sigh. I'm not sure that I'll be eligible since my father owns a small business and has to report are large adjusted gross income. Not only that, but I'm also a minority shareholder. So on paper, it looks like I have money. But I don't. I'm scared and frustrated.
Click to expand...

Not eligible for what? Everyone gets all the loans they need/want. It is America in the 21st century! (only 1/2 kidding)..
 
tentatively starting a new job search.


The shelter that I'm at dropped the ball in a way and I'm not sure I am okay with or agree with the direction it is heading.

I'm just really bummed...I love my job and love shelter medicine but I just can't be a part of several things going on emotionally or mentally.
 
Found out today, the landlord who bought the house I'm in is a previous landlord from another house I used to live in. And I didn't like him. 🙁
 
Got my first dog bite yesterday and it is all red and swollen and painful today. Trip to the Dr. it is! It wasn't even a bad bite.
 
kernel said:
I submitted my FAFSA yesterday. Sigh. I'm not sure that I'll be eligible since my father owns a small business and has to report are large adjusted gross income. Not only that, but I'm also a minority shareholder. So on paper, it looks like I have money. But I don't. I'm scared and frustrated.
Click to expand...

ugh, I have the same problem. My dad owns a small business too. It's frustrating to report the gross income while in reality we don't really have that much at our disposal because of the business. Too "rich" to get government help, but too poor to actually pay for school. sucks.
 
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