RANT HERE thread

Veterinary Science Graduate Programs from U. of I.
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Some stupid girl rear-ended my 70 year old dad’s van today. He seems to be okay. She tried to pass him on the right (like driving into the berm) as he was slowing down to make a left turn onto a road. She totaled her brand new car, which she had just driven off the lot like ten minutes before the accident apparently. My dad is lucky there wasn’t any oncoming traffic at the time because she pushed his vehicle into the other lane. I wonder how many points that gets you on your license?
 
@Elkhart

You aren't alone. I know people that had to leave for illness (like leave entirely not just defer). I know people who struggled grade wise and failed, some repeated 1 or 2 years and some left vet med entirely.

I know people who up and left just because they changed their mind about vet med.

Unfortunately, none of them are on here (well, 1 isn't as much anymore).

You definitely aren't the first and will not be the last. Hang in there.

Also, how do you have a rent contract for longer than a year? I don't think that's legal...maybe look into that. Rental contracts are only supposed to last for a year then be renewed every year.
 
Elkhart said:
I don't know of any other semi-regular members on SDN who have gone through this same thing (or are currently going through it); I have no one to talk to about this who can truly commiserate with me, and it's a little isolating.
Click to expand...
:hello:

Ick, just checked, and I'm lucky #7 by post count. Semi-regular enough for you?

(If I stop posting and take more SDN breaks, I can let Winged Scapula, WildZoo, and DVMDream bump me to #10, then #11 eventually, so I won't feel so bad.)

Elkhart said:
I just want someone who has been through this before to tell me that it's okay, because it sure as hell does not feel like it much of the time.
Click to expand...
Hey stranger. I think I remember you when someone tagged me (maybe SkiOtter) to some nerdy discussion in this forum, and you were testing some online web hosting thingy... Python...Ruby... whatever.

So I have never stepped foot in a vet school, but I did leave an undergrad engineering program at an expensive private school for a cheaper state school (with no engineering to speak of). Thus, no engineering BS degree, and credits didn't transfer, and $100K+ undergrad debt, half of which was private loans through Sallie Mae, some were university private loans @ 8% fixed APR, the other half the usual Stafford/Perkins.

Whatever. This was like over a decade ago, maybe a decade and a half.

It looks like your wounds are still fresh, maybe even arterial (might wanna address that!), leading you to experience the whirlwind of depression, self-doubt, self-hatred, regret, agony, loss of hope, isolation, no end in sight. Am I in the ball park?

Well just FYI from someone who went through somewhat sorta-kinda situation, things get worse! AAAAaaaa! (sorry, I have a sick sense of humor. *kicks you while you're down*) Things get better. Finances get better. Slowly. 😡 But that $100K+ student loan debt does get under control and go down. Income from any current/future jobs does become more stable and increase as you get more experience on the CV/resume and can command more jobs rather than being "OMG, I'm a loser, minimum wage here I come!" to more "Oh thank you God, I had no idea this was part of your plan, and thank you for this opportunity."

I dunno if I'm helping or hurting in writing this post.

I do have (or have had) inner thoughts of "Man, I decided against MD/PhD a decade ago, decided against [clinical] medicine or any [clinical] health care as well... wtf am I doing on this forum? Am I a tool? Yes! I'm a tool! No, I'm not a tool, there's great friendships here and good intellectual discussion on current events! No, you are a tool and just rationalizing that to justify your forum addiction. No, you're not a tool, let's meet half-way and just say you're addicted to a forum but it's totally fine being here."

I'm rambling. *scrolls up*

Oh, yeah. You're clearly feeling worthless, perhaps imposter syndrome, perhaps like a failure, yadda yadda. All sorts of negative caca that WILL consume you emotionally, and that crap will magically (I don't recall the mechanism), manifest into physical health problems too. And/or jack with your immune system. Or jack with your young heart unnecessarily. Whatever.

Snap out of it, the sooner, the better. Mistakes are human. Making many mistakes is ... human! Failure is a part of life. Don't let it define you. Get up, grow stronger. Move on. Let those deep wounds turn into scars that... tell stories and are total turn-ons to your desired/opposite sex. Erm. Anyways. Point is, the crushing debt. The lack of the original degree you desired. The mental/physical concerns. The current job situations. These are obstacles that you will overcome if you allow yourself to breathe and strategically conquer them one at a time. Slowly. Slowly, you will gather enough momentum to move onto the next goals in life. Slowly, your income will get better, giving you more wiggle room to pay for food and shelter without having to freak out over which one gets paid and/or letting your student loan minimum payment -- heck credit card minimum payment -- eat you alive.

I wrote a fairly long post in the Lounge in response to someone else... maybe 2014 or 15 in maybe the Venting or Depression thread... I think I told the same story 2-3x over the years but think the 1st one was written the best... talking about the ass-taint-queef-caca hell I was in in like 2009...2010...hell for many years before that from 2006 or so... but remember drowning in $44K (?) in high-interest 29.99% APR credit card debt -- much of it used to pay for food and survival, and much used as balance transfers to checking to pay tuition...whatever, it spiraled like crazy, and I was either making $0 as a student or damned near minimum wage, on top of the $100K student loan debt, so if I [legally] gamed the system and enrolled in school, I got the loans in "in-school deferment," so only had the $700-800+ minimum payments on credit cards + rent, the put food on more credit cards.. Whatever. I can't re-tell the story again since I won't do it justice (I'll have to find the original post and copy-paste)...but suffice it to say, despite not having my precious engineering degree and being a toolshed generic Bio/Molecular major without even an undergrad degree (!!), I was making minimum wage in my hometown working at group homes for mentally/physically disabled kids/adults, and in between throwing my body out lifting an 18-yo-manchild with profound mental ******ation (like, newborns are smarter) due to parental crack/meth use while pregnant, who was punching me in the face while I wiped his 200 lb cement-like poo (thanks to the fiber/stool softener) who was trying to eat his own poo (and punching me in the face with the other hand), I eventually got better transportation and used my computer skills (2 time national champ FTW!) to snag a entry-level job in the downtown city 1.5 hours away. Even part-time @ $15/hour + the commute was better than being stuck in Bumble****, Egypt, making peanuts, drowning in $140K+ debt, mostly high-interest. And by golly, I was kind, passionate, competent like whoa (but not annoying IRL I swear), and I guess management noticed. So that part-time job @$15/hour (I guess $19K gross) at a bank HQ within 4-5 months turned into an opportunity at a competing bank HQ since my manager had gotten stolen away and quit suddenly... she asked me to move a push cart with her personal stuff from her office "to the curb" to help load her car... was her sneaky woman doublespeak ( 😡 ) way of getting me off company premises to then...offer me a full-time job at the competing bank for $40K (hourly equivalent) + ample overtime since the bank had failed in the 2008 collapse, was bought by new investors with $1 Billion in capital, and we had 3 weeks to "go live" with a brand new IT department from scratch from my hire date. And that led to more promotions, $40's, 50ks (despite working the same title as those making $100K+ :rage: but I digress... don't be a sucker and undersell yourself), then leaving and switching jobs allowed me to literally name my own salary, so I said "**** it" and skipped the 60's and 70's and named $40/hour as a contractor (= $80K's range), then once again jumped to another company and once again commanded my own price (I won't say how much... it was a bump higher... ). Somewhere along that way, I destroyed all $44ishK credit card debt (strategy is for another post), starting with my first $15/hour ($19k yearly) job, then once I got used to making $19K/year, the $40K job + overtime (=$51K/year) allowed me to throw my entire paycheck at credit card debt. Was free of that beast in short order, and my date of credit card freedom is 7/5/12 (= my Independence Day). Started following the same strategy towards student loan attack and aggressive saving.

Annoying drivel rambling aside? (I guess I re-told the story, but the first time I told the story was way more eloquent and less e-peen self-absorbed?) Point is, you can go from "I hate myself. I'm a loser. I'm drowning in 6-figures of debt without my initially-desired engineering BS Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree. I can't pay for food and shelter. My body hates me and is rebelling. I'm an emotional wreck. I don't know where to go from here. I doubt things will get better. My peers all have MDs and PhDs DVMs or are married or have grandchildren. I suck!" .... to .... "Oh my God, thank you thank you thank you. I did not see this pathway as a possible option back when I was lost and scared and confused."

In other words, you may not believe it now. Or you may not feel it now. But things will get better. Things will get better with time and perseverance. Even if you feel as though you failed at a major goal and got 3 black eyes (your physical eyes and your 3rd eye haha) in the process. Speaking from experience, your situation will get better.

Oh, the bad news? You'll still hit some roadbumps along the way to improvement. There will be minor and major setbacks, more mistakes, and maybe more major failures in the future. Expect them. Make evil eye contact at future challenges like a crazy person; err, i.e., I'm trynna say to not let future failures eat you alive and dominate you as they currently do, but punch new challenges in the throat since it's not your first rodeo.

So this story is about you, and it'd be a douche move to make it about me. [Edit: Proceeds to make it about me. haha. Douchenoff. But I'm trying to make a point then turn it back to you!] So while I did make lots of headway in the past almost-decade, doubled my income every year or two (which is pretty insane), from $10K/year at the group home to $19K at the part-time job at Bank #1, to $40K + overtime at Bank #2, to 50s, 80s, etc. through working myself to death, I...uh... worked myself to death, not eating, not sleeping, not exercising, not seeing family/friends, working around the clock (because salaried position + workaholic + sucker = never know when to call it a day)... go home past midnight? YASSSS, queen. Get home, tired as ****, log in from home and work till 4 AM? YASSS. Your alarm goes off to "wake up" but you've been up all night working? :nod: So you go back to work (physically) only to rinse and repeat, skipping meals, skipping sleep. Fighting sleep deprivation while driving in rush hour traffic. Spending years to dig yourself out of debt, make forward momentum, only to never get those years of your life back from not dating, seeing family (some of whom have died), seeing friends? Yeah.

Not_Worth_It.JPG


I took this pic years ago to remind myself to stop being a dummy and working myself to death. This is the bottom floor of a downtown financial (and bar/clubbing) district parking garage. Like 5-7 levels, and despite being prime parking space, I'm the only dummy there. I out-worked all the other workaholics, and damn, it's too late for even hobos to pee there or any clubber to park their car there. What prize did I win? Not extra money (salaried, so my labor was worth even less with each second over 40 hours I worked, yet I still regularly worked 50, 60 hours STRAIGHT, or sometimes stints of 80's per week.) The prize I won was multiple chronic physical health problems and MASSIVE burn-out.

Did I learn my lesson? Hell naw. That was my job at the bank #2 that stole me away from bank #1. Despite raises and promotions, I was the sucker architect making 50's working the same workload as the architects who had quit who were making $99ish and another in the 80's and 70's... I "absorbed" their workloads like a jackass (and I delivered, so executives apparently were grateful, yay?) but by absorbing all that pain, the CIO had no business justification to backfill those positions. Lesson learned (It's counterintuitive): Let the corporation's external customers and internal customers (the employees) feel the pain and bitch and moan, causing executives to rain down hell on upper management to then rain hell on middle management to then justify backfilling those FTE positions, instead of the overachieving sucker working himself to death making 50s... If you're the dummy silently absorbing all those extra vacant positions' workloads, proactively preventing customer pain, nobody will know that there's a problem. And even if you bring that up to the CIO/your boss, he has no ammunition to send up the chain, up to the C-levels who see that everything is hunky-dory. Sometimes, let problems go ahead and explode and **** to hit the fan so that many people bitch and moan and then there's a tangible, visible problem that can be pointed to when asking to backfill vacant positions or ask for more personnel budget. I absorbed like a dummy for about a year thinking new hires were around the corner and I'd get some relief. /end life lesson about how corporations work.

Rinse and repeat at the next job or two, more burnout and more health problems.

I guess like a self-centered douche I made a post trying to help you into a post about me (oops). So now, despite making lots of progress and being able to command just over the 6-figure salary mark, my body has screamed at me to the point where I can't... so I'm navigating the impossible American task of getting health care without health insurance or income... Ensue feelings of being a loser/tool/imposter all over again. I bitched enough in the SDN Lounge the past several years, but I suppose that's my current situation, struggle, and emotional/mental state. I'm too ashamed and scared and am at my wit's end to get the care that I need to physically get well enough to resume working. :/

....

..

Back to you, chica. You'll get better. You'll still make more mistakes because you're human. Turn your failures into fuel, fire, and passion to aggressively succeed in your next life goals, personal- and career-wise. Expect future bumps in the road, some minor, and some major. Don't work yourself to death if that's your personality type, as if you have something to "prove" to yourself that you can work hard despite not having your initial engineering DVM degree. I know you're not me, but in case you are the Type A go-getter type, please learn from me that there is a human upper limit and working yourself to a premature heart attack or early grave are legitimately possible. You WILL conquer your $100K student loan debt from the degree you didn't finish. You WILL get higher paying jobs. You WILL have more breathing room financially to save and pay off debt simultaneously, and even fun money to dick around/splurge. You WILL "make up for lost time." But just don't overdo it like I did in your quest to get better. Because in your quest to get better financially, you could actually also get worse physically, which I argue is worse. I'd trade in my current health problems and lack of access to care for my $44K of credit card debt and ask for a do-over in a heartbeat, knowing what I know now. G*d damn it.

On the one hand, money is a tool that buys security, freedom, options, survival, and a future. But it's meaningless if it's earned in exchange for something more important: your life and health. Don't make the two mutually exclusive: that's a fool's exchange.

Hang in there, stranger. Even if you take a short or long break from SDN, know that you are still welcome here, despite feeling like you no longer belong. Complete strangers do care about and even love you and wish for you to muster the inner strength to believe that you will climb out of this hole despite not knowing where to start.



------------------

Uh... JFC. Despite some severe bilateral ophtho issues (extreme dry eyes, etc.) I've been going through for 1.5 years now, I legit squirted out some odd liquid just now. I never do that. At least sober. **** me. At least none of you bishes can see me, so whatever.

...

Abrupt change of tone: The pragmatic, logical dork in me knows you can sling code, yes? And without violating SDN TOS, if you're in the USA, your code quality is likely better than the 1-800-RENTAFOB bargain coders.... Is that racist? Hell no... that's not what I meant. I meant the quality of work from offshore workers is mediocre for a reason, and they are cheap for companies to hire for a reason.... Where I was going before I said something that could earn me a mod spanking for being mis-interpreted? I'm saying, chica, if you want MONEY, even if only temporary and not what you "really want to do in life" (whatever that means), use your nerd skills and throw code together for a paycheck. Just a thought. You can do better than the $20K (or less) you're currently getting. You can do both permanent W-2 work and 1099 contractor work if you want to ease yourself into things with a 6-month contract to get experience. Whatever. There are job openings nationwide depending on your skillset. Even if not hardcore ( :naughty: ) coding with your web front-end or back-end (my preference, honestly :naughty: ), there's tons of IT sysadmin jobs out there that don't have jack squat to do with writing any code. I bet you can land $40K in 2019, and that should give you some hope.

Whatever. Bye. I talk too much. Best wishes. I'll add you to my hit list. For prayer.
 
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Stroganoff said:
:hello:

Ick, just checked, and I'm lucky #7 by post count. Semi-regular enough for you?

(If I stop posting and take more SDN breaks, I can let Winged Scapula, WildZoo, and DVMDream bump me to #10, then #11 eventually, so I won't feel so bad.)


Hey stranger. I think I remember you when someone tagged me (maybe SkiOtter) to some nerdy discussion in this forum, and you were testing some online web hosting thingy... Python...Ruby... whatever.

So I have never stepped foot in a vet school, but I did leave an undergrad engineering program at an expensive private school for a cheaper state school (with no engineering to speak of). Thus, no engineering BS degree, and credits didn't transfer, and $100K+ undergrad debt, half of which was private loans through Sallie Mae, some were university private loans @ 8% fixed APR, the other half the usual Stafford/Perkins.

Whatever. This was like over a decade ago, maybe a decade and a half.

It looks like your wounds are still fresh, maybe even arterial (might wanna address that!), leading you to experience the whirlwind of depression, self-doubt, self-hatred, regret, agony, loss of hope, isolation, no end in sight. Am I in the ball park?

Well just FYI from someone who went through somewhat sorta-kinda situation, things get worse! AAAAaaaa! (sorry, I have a sick sense of humor. *kicks you while you're down*) Things get better. Finances get better. Slowly. 😡 But that $100K+ student loan debt does get under control and go down. Income from any current/future jobs does become more stable and increase as you get more experience on the CV/resume and can command more jobs rather than being "OMG, I'm a loser, minimum wage here I come!" to more "Oh thank you God, I had no idea this was part of your plan, and thank you for this opportunity."

I dunno if I'm helping or hurting in writing this post.

I do have (or have had) inner thoughts of "Man, I decided against MD/PhD a decade ago, decided against [clinical] medicine or any [clinical] health care as well... wtf am I doing on this forum? Am I a tool? Yes! I'm a tool! No, I'm not a tool, there's great friendships here and good intellectual discussion on current events! No, you are a tool and just rationalizing that to justify your forum addiction. No, you're not a tool, let's meet half-way and just say you're addicted to a forum but it's totally fine being here."

I'm rambling. *scrolls up*

Oh, yeah. You're clearly feeling worthless, perhaps imposter syndrome, perhaps like a failure, yadda yadda. All sorts of negative caca that WILL consume you emotionally, and that crap will magically (I don't recall the mechanism), manifest into physical health problems too. And/or jack with your immune system. Or jack with your young heart unnecessarily. Whatever.

Snap out of it, the sooner, the better. Mistakes are human. Making many mistakes is ... human! Failure is a part of life. Don't let it define you. Get up, grow stronger. Move on. Let those deep wounds turn into scars that... tell stories and are total turn-ons to your desired/opposite sex. Erm. Anyways. Point is, the crushing debt. The lack of the original degree you desired. The mental/physical concerns. The current job situations. These are obstacles that you will overcome if you allow yourself to breathe and strategically conquer them one at a time. Slowly. Slowly, you will gather enough momentum to move onto the next goals in life. Slowly, your income will get better, giving you more wiggle room to pay for food and shelter without having to freak out over which one gets paid and/or letting your student loan minimum payment -- heck credit card minimum payment -- eat you alive.

I wrote a fairly long post in the Lounge in response to someone else... maybe 2014 or 15 in maybe the Venting or Depression thread... I think I told the same story 2-3x over the years but think the 1st one was written the best... talking about the ass-taint-queef-caca hell I was in in like 2009...2010...hell for many years before that from 2006 or so... but remember drowning in $44K (?) in high-interest 29.99% APR credit card debt -- much of it used to pay for food and survival, and much used as balance transfers to checking to pay tuition...whatever, it spiraled like crazy, and I was either making $0 as a student or damned near minimum wage, on top of the $100K student loan debt, so if I [legally] gamed the system and enrolled in school, I got the loans in "in-school deferment," so only had the $700-800+ minimum payments on credit cards + rent, the put food on more credit cards.. Whatever. I can't re-tell the story again since I won't do it justice (I'll have to find the original post and copy-paste)...but suffice it to say, despite not having my precious engineering degree and being a toolshed generic Bio/Molecular major without even an undergrad degree (!!), I was making minimum wage in my hometown working at group homes for mentally/physically disabled kids/adults, and in between throwing my body out lifting an 18-yo-manchild with profound mental ******ation (like, newborns are smarter) due to parental crack/meth use while pregnant, who was punching me in the face while I wiped his 200 lb cement-like poo (thanks to the fiber/stool softener) who was trying to eat his own poo (and punching me in the face with the other hand), I eventually got better transportation and used my computer skills (2 time national champ FTW!) to snag a entry-level job in the downtown city 1.5 hours away. Even part-time @ $15/hour + the commute was better than being stuck in Bumble****, Egypt, making peanuts, drowning in $140K+ debt, mostly high-interest. And by golly, I was kind, passionate, competent like whoa (but not annoying IRL I swear), and I guess management noticed. So that part-time job @$15/hour (I guess $19K gross) at a bank HQ within 4-5 months turned into an opportunity at a competing bank HQ since my manager had gotten stolen away and quit suddenly... she asked me to move a push cart with her personal stuff from her office "to the curb" to help load her car... was her sneaky woman doublespeak ( 😡 ) way of getting me off company premises to then...offer me a full-time job at the competing bank for $40K (hourly equivalent) + ample overtime since the bank had failed in the 2008 collapse, was bought by new investors with $1 Billion in capital, and we had 3 weeks to "go live" with a brand new IT department from scratch from my hire date. And that led to more promotions, $40's, 50ks (despite working the same title as those making $100K+ :rage: but I digress... don't be a sucker and undersell yourself), then leaving and switching jobs allowed me to literally name my own salary, so I said "**** it" and skipped the 60's and 70's and named $40/hour as a contractor (= $80K's range), then once again jumped to another company and once again commanded my own price (I won't say how much... it was a bump higher... ). Somewhere along that way, I destroyed all $44ishK credit card debt (strategy is for another post), starting with my first $15/hour ($19k yearly) job, then once I got used to making $19K/year, the $40K job + overtime (=$51K/year) allowed me to throw my entire paycheck at credit card debt. Was free of that beast in short order, and my date of credit card freedom is 7/5/12 (= my Independence Day). Started following the same strategy towards student loan attack and aggressive saving.

Annoying drivel rambling aside? (I guess I re-told the story, but the first time I told the story was way more eloquent and less e-peen self-absorbed?) Point is, you can go from "I hate myself. I'm a loser. I'm drowning in 6-figures of debt without my initially-desired engineering BS Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree. I can't pay for food and shelter. My body hates me and is rebelling. I'm an emotional wreck. I don't know where to go from here. I doubt things will get better. My peers all have MDs and PhDs DVMs or are married or have grandchildren. I suck!" .... to .... "Oh my God, thank you thank you thank you. I did not see this pathway as a possible option back when I was lost and scared and confused."

In other words, you may not believe it now. Or you may not feel it now. But things will get better. Things will get better with time and perseverance. Even if you feel as though you failed at a major goal and got 3 black eyes (your physical eyes and your 3rd eye haha) in the process. Speaking from experience, your situation will get better.

Oh, the bad news? You'll still hit some roadbumps along the way to improvement. There will be minor and major setbacks, more mistakes, and maybe more major failures in the future. Expect them. Make evil eye contact at future challenges like a crazy person; err, i.e., I'm trynna say to not let future failures eat you alive and dominate you as they currently do, but punch new challenges in the throat since it's not your first rodeo.

So this story is about you, and it'd be a douche move to make it about me. [Edit: Proceeds to make it about me. haha. Douchenoff. But I'm trying to make a point then turn it back to you!] So while I did make lots of headway in the past almost-decade, doubled my income every year or two (which is pretty insane), from $10K/year at the group home to $19K at the part-time job at Bank #1, to $40K + overtime at Bank #2, to 50s, 80s, etc. through working myself to death, I...uh... worked myself to death, not eating, not sleeping, not exercising, not seeing family/friends, working around the clock (because salaried position + workaholic + sucker = never know when to call it a day)... go home past midnight? YASSSS, queen. Get home, tired as ****, log in from home and work till 4 AM? YASSS. Your alarm goes off to "wake up" but you've been up all night working? :nod: So you go back to work (physically) only to rinse and repeat, skipping meals, skipping sleep. Fighting sleep deprivation while driving in rush hour traffic. Spending years to dig yourself out of debt, make forward momentum, only to never get those years of your life back from not dating, seeing family (some of whom have died), seeing friends? Yeah.

View attachment 244870

I took this pic years ago to remind myself to stop being a dummy and working myself to death. This is the bottom floor of a downtown financial (and bar/clubbing) district parking garage. Like 5-7 levels, and despite being prime parking space, I'm the only dummy there. I out-worked all the other workaholics, and damn, it's too late for even hobos to pee there or any clubber to park their car there. What prize did I win? Not extra money (salaried, so my labor was worth even less with each second over 40 hours I worked, yet I still regularly worked 50, 60 hours STRAIGHT, or sometimes stints of 80's per week.) The prize I won was multiple chronic physical health problems and MASSIVE burn-out.

Did I learn my lesson? Hell naw. That was my job at the bank #2 that stole me away from bank #1. Despite raises and promotions, I was the sucker architect making 50's working the same workload as the architects who had quit who were making $99ish and another in the 80's and 70's... I "absorbed" their workloads like a jackass (and I delivered, so executives apparently were grateful, yay?) but by absorbing all that pain, the CIO had no business justification to backfill those positions. Lesson learned (It's counterintuitive): Let the corporation's external customers and internal customers (the employees) feel the pain and bitch and moan, causing executives to rain down hell on upper management to then rain hell on middle management to then justify backfilling those FTE positions, instead of the overachieving sucker working himself to death making 50s... If you're the dummy silently absorbing all those extra vacant positions' workloads, proactively preventing customer pain, nobody will know that there's a problem. And even if you bring that up to the CIO/your boss, he has no ammunition to send up the chain, up to the C-levels who see that everything is hunky-dory. Sometimes, let problems go ahead and explode and **** to hit the fan so that many people bitch and moan and then there's a tangible, visible problem that can be pointed to when asking to backfill vacant positions or ask for more personnel budget. I absorbed like a dummy for about a year thinking new hires were around the corner and I'd get some relief. /end life lesson about how corporations work.

Rinse and repeat at the next job or two, more burnout and more health problems.

I guess like a self-centered douche I made a post trying to help you into a post about me (oops). So now, despite making lots of progress and being able to command just over the 6-figure salary mark, my body has screamed at me to the point where I can't... so I'm navigating the impossible American task of getting health care without health insurance or income... Ensue feelings of being a loser/tool/imposter all over again. I bitched enough in the SDN Lounge the past several years, but I suppose that's my current situation, struggle, and emotional/mental state. I'm too ashamed and scared and am at my wit's end to get the care that I need to physically get well enough to resume working. :/

....

..

Back to you, chica. You'll get better. You'll still make more mistakes because you're human. Turn your failures into fuel, fire, and passion to aggressively succeed in your next life goals, personal- and career-wise. Expect future bumps in the road, some minor, and some major. Don't work yourself to death if that's your personality type, as if you have something to "prove" to yourself that you can work hard despite not having your initial engineering DVM degree. I know you're not me, but in case you are the Type A go-getter type, please learn from me that there is a human upper limit and working yourself to a premature heart attack or early grave are legitimately possible. You WILL conquer your $100K student loan debt from the degree you didn't finish. You WILL get higher paying jobs. You WILL have more breathing room financially to save and pay off debt simultaneously, and even fun money to dick around/splurge. You WILL "make up for lost time." But just don't overdo it like I did in your quest to get better. Because in your quest to get better financially, you could actually also get worse physically, which I argue is worse. I'd trade in my current health problems and lack of access to care for my $44K of credit card debt and ask for a do-over in a heartbeat, knowing what I know now. G*d damn it.

On the one hand, money is a tool that buys security, freedom, options, survival, and a future. But it's meaningless if it's earned in exchange for something more important: your life and health. Don't make the two mutually exclusive: that's a fool's exchange.

Hang in there, stranger. Even if you take a short or long break from SDN, know that you are still welcome here, despite feeling like you no longer belong. Complete strangers do care about and even love you and wish for you to muster the inner strength to believe that you will climb out of this hole despite not knowing where to start.



------------------

Uh... JFC. Despite some severe bilateral ophtho issues (extreme dry eyes, etc.) I've been going through for 1.5 years now, I legit squirted out some odd liquid just now. I never do that. At least sober. **** me. At least none of you bishes can see me, so whatever.

...

Abrupt change of tone: The pragmatic, logical dork in me knows you can sling code, yes? And without violating SDN TOS, if you're in the USA, your code quality is likely better than the 1-800-RENTAFOB bargain coders.... Is that racist? Hell no... that's not what I meant. I meant the quality of work from offshore workers is mediocre for a reason, and they are cheap for companies to hire for a reason.... Where I was going before I said something that could earn me a mod spanking for being mis-interpreted? I'm saying, chica, if you want MONEY, even if only temporary and not what you "really want to do in life" (whatever that means), use your nerd skills and throw code together for a paycheck. Just a thought. You can do better than the $20K (or less) you're currently getting. You can do both permanent W-2 work and 1099 contractor work if you want to ease yourself into things with a 6-month contract to get experience. Whatever. There are job openings nationwide depending on your skillset. Even if not hardcore ( :naughty: ) coding with your web front-end or back-end (my preference, honestly :naughty: ), there's tons of IT sysadmin jobs out there that don't have jack squat to do with writing any code. I bet you can land $40K in 2019, and that should give you some hope.

Whatever. Bye. I talk too much. Best wishes. I'll add you to my hit list. For prayer.
Click to expand...
Jeez strog, you made me tear up spill some weird liquid from my eyes
 
@Elkhart I hope that whatever your decision, you know that we care about you and that your perspective and input is a hugely valuable resource to all of the pre-vets, whether or not they can appreciate it. I feel like society as a whole is becoming brattier and nastier and much less appreciative and that some of the pre-vets we see here reflect that unfortunate shift. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t a worthwhile human, both as a member of this board or at life in general.
 
@Elkhart I was quite close to the pass/fail margin several times, in several ways... the fact that I managed to eke through and you did not speaks more about luck and circumstance and other crap than it does actual brains or skill.

I really do hope that this leads you into something amazing that you were made to do. In the meantime... hang in there.
 
I’ve been v strictly vegetarian for a year and working my way to vegan. Been ~90-95% of the way there for ~4-5 months (cheese is hard to give up.... I’ve gotten past the craving it and seeking it out part, but sometimes when it’s sitting right in front of me I can’t help myself). I’ve been SO good about it though, that when I DO have dairy, my body is very angry.
My boss brought in Xmas cupcakes yesterday. They are gingerbread with caramel buttercream frosting. They are not vegan.
I just ate one and I can already tell it was a bad idea 🙁

Sorry for TMI rant. BUT I JUST WANTED A CUPCAKE FOR BREKKIE since I have to work today! :yeahright:
 
grebes4lyfe said:
I’ve been v strictly vegetarian for a year and working my way to vegan. Been ~90-95% of the way there for ~4-5 months (cheese is hard to give up.... I’ve gotten past the craving it and seeking it out part, but sometimes when it’s sitting right in front of me I can’t help myself). I’ve been SO good about it though, that when I DO have dairy, my body is very angry.
My boss brought in Xmas cupcakes yesterday. They are gingerbread with caramel buttercream frosting. They are not vegan.
I just ate one and I can already tell it was a bad idea 🙁

Sorry for TMI rant. BUT I JUST WANTED A CUPCAKE FOR BREKKIE since I have to work today! :yeahright:
Click to expand...
@Caiter92 any vegan cheese replacement recommendations?
 
If you sign up to work a shift at the hospital, don't show, and then read messages asking where you are but don't bother to respond (thanks, read receipt!)... NOT COOL.

aka it's 1:30 and the tech and I are just eating our first meals of the day now because we've been running around like crazy.

:nono:
 
supershorty said:
If you sign up to work a shift at the hospital, don't show, and then read messages asking where you are but don't bother to respond (thanks, read receipt!)... NOT COOL.

aka it's 1:30 and the tech and I are just eating our first meals of the day now because we've been running around like crazy.

:nono:
Click to expand...

As someone else who is working today (and luckily all my volunteers showed up).... ID BE LIVIDDDDD

Sorry you have to deal with that. And I hope that person has some karma coming their way...
 
supershorty said:
If you sign up to work a shift at the hospital, don't show, and then read messages asking where you are but don't bother to respond (thanks, read receipt!)... NOT COOL.

aka it's 1:30 and the tech and I are just eating our first meals of the day now because we've been running around like crazy.

:nono:
Click to expand...
Oh man, I would be pissed. I'm sorry you're dealing with that!
 
Caiter92 said:
I have all the recommendations hahaha

Let me know if you want any @grebes4lyfe 🙂
Click to expand...

I’ve been using follow your heart stuff a lot. And miyokos. If you have any other recommendations though I LOVE cheese so always open to more cheesy options sans dairy!

It’s really just when it’s sitting right in front of me (like, when people bring stuff to work) that I have a hard time turning it down lol.

The buttercream did me in today though haha
 
finnickthedog said:
Stupid rant but my laptop's internal battery needs to be replaced. My laptop is out of warranty. That's fine. Minor annoyance. I can probably pay the cost of replacing the stupid thing. Except that I can't find any information on how I go about getting the stupid battery replaced without a warranty or how much it's going to cost me and I want to smash my head into a wall because the solution to what is a fairly simple and probably fairly common problem should not be this difficult to find. Maybe it's not even that hard to find. Maybe I'm just too dense to find it.
+pissed+
Click to expand...
Make and model of laptop? I've found ifixit.com to have great step-by-step guides. And various luck on YouTube. I'm bored... if you provide exact make and model (if this is still an issue), I'll put in 5-10 minutes searching around. 🙂

In my "old" (yeah right) age, I've lost faith in Best Buy and any other office store's employees (Microcenter, Office Depot, etc.). Bunch of know-nothing salespeople. Commission, deception, Geek Dummy Squad. And having dealt with a couple university's support areas, it's not like they're geniuses, so you'll get entry-level advice, which may or may not solve your problem, depending on level of complexity.

I'm clearly cynical, so ignore all that haha. It's why I've turned to DIY throughout my life, since I rarely get anyone to help me when I ask for help so I've learned to figure **** out on my own. Internal battery replacement shouldn't be difficult at all unless the battery is soldered. And I'm too paranoid of 900F soldering iron + Lithium battery = kablooey to mess with that.
 
Last edited:
Stroganoff said:
Make and model of laptop? I've found ifixit.com to have great step-by-step guides. And various luck on YouTube. I'm bored... if you provide exact make and model (if this is still an issue), I'll put in 5-10 minutes searching around. 🙂

In my "old" (yeah right) age, I've lost faith in Best Buy and any other office store's employees (Microcenter, Office Depot, etc.). Bunch of no-nothing salespeople. Commission, deception, Geek Dummy Squad. And having dealt with a couple university's support areas, it's not like they're geniuses, so you'll get entry-level advice, which may or may not solve your problem, depending on level of complexity.

I'm clearly cynical, so ignore all that haha. It's why I've turned to DIY throughout my life, since I rarely get anyone to help me when I ask for help so I've learned to figure **** out on my own. Internal battery replacement shouldn't be difficult at all unless the battery is soldered. And I'm too paranoid of 900F soldering iron + Lithium battery = kablooey to mess with that.
Click to expand...


Uh... it's an HP Pavilion? I don't know much other than that. It's not alive so I don't know anything about it. 😛

I'm a little afraid to do things myself because I'm worried I'll screw it up but if it sounds really simple then I might be brave enough to give it a shot. Although I'm not even entirely sure what battery this thing needs because when I search the HP Parts store for parts specific to my device it shows zero batteries. Which is nice. Thank you, HP.
 
finnickthedog said:
Uh... it's an HP Pavilion? I don't know much other than that. It's not alive so I don't know anything about it. 😛

I'm a little afraid to do things myself because I'm worried I'll screw it up but if it sounds really simple then I might be brave enough to give it a shot. Although I'm not even entirely sure what battery this thing needs because when I search the HP Parts store for parts specific to my device it shows zero batteries. Which is nice. Thank you, HP.
Click to expand...
Are their numbers on the bottom side of the computer that you could take a pic of?
 
finnickthedog said:
Picture isn't coming out super readable, but it says the model is 15-cc010nr. Does that help any?
Click to expand...
(Link is PDF): http://h10032.www1.hp.com/ctg/Manual/c05493762

Page 39. Looks simple. *attempts to make vet med or spay analogy, fails miserably, gives up*

Looks like the battery is crazy superficial underneath the bottom lid secured with 4 screws. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

Says it's 3-cell, 41-WHr, 3.6-AHr, Li-ion battery, Spare Parts #920070-855

Next question is whether to buy the official HP OEM battery or find a generic on Amazon or eBay with good reviews. I haven't looked that far into it....

Then recycle the old battery at like Best Buy, Target, Home Depot, Lowe's, etc. in those bins up front.


Edit: If you want to breathe new life into your laptop, replace that sinning disk hard drive with an SSD. Ask @12tigers to speak to that awesomeness. 🙂

Edit 2: I typed "spinning" disk but "sinning" disk is apropos based on how slow and frustrating they are. :rage:
 
Stroganoff said:
(Link is PDF): http://h10032.www1.hp.com/ctg/Manual/c05493762

Page 39. Looks simple. *attempts to make vet med or spay analogy, fails miserably, gives up*

Looks like the battery is crazy superficial underneath the bottom lid secured with 4 screws. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

Says it's 3-cell, 41-WHr, 3.6-AHr, Li-ion battery, Spare Parts #920070-855

Next question is whether to buy the official HP OEM battery or find a generic on Amazon or eBay with good reviews. I haven't looked that far into it....

Then recycle the old battery at like Best Buy, Target, Home Depot, Lowe's, etc. in those bins up front.


Edit: If you want to breathe new life into your laptop, replace that sinning disk hard drive with an SSD. Ask @12tigers to speak to that awesomeness. 🙂

Edit 2: I typed "spinning" disk but "sinning" disk is apropos based on how slow and frustrating they are. :rage:
Click to expand...

All the pictures and words are terrifying so I'm probably gonna have to find someone to help me actually do it but this probably makes my life much easier and it means I don't have to drop my laptop off somewhere and be computerless for x days. Thank you!
 
finnickthedog said:
All the pictures and words are terrifying
Click to expand...

giphy.gif

finnickthedog said:
so I'm probably gonna have to find someone to help me actually do it but this probably makes my life much easier and it means I don't have to drop my laptop off somewhere and be computerless for x days. Thank you!
Click to expand...

Haha, all I did was DuckDuckGo and click around. I can't take all that credit. 🙂

Anyway, I'd print out pages 36-39 on old school paper just to refer to -- whoever ends up doing it. It honestly doesn't look like a PITA except for a ton of tiny screws that tend to roll onto the carpet and disappear forever.

The most intimidating thing, to me, is that there are like 500 different generic companies on eBay/Amazon that all sell a battery that fits. Do we just randomly trust ACME China Battery Mfg? :shrug: I wouldn't know where to start or maybe I'm too uptight, and they're all whatevs and totally won't blow up. :shrug:

G'luck and Murry Christmas.

-Sent from a 2007 Dell with a long deceased battery.
 
@Stroganoff how familiar are you with older gaming systems? :laugh:

Because I plugged my Nintendo game cube in and it immediately turned on and turned right back off??? I’ve been searching the Internet and it says I might have to replace the fuse and I’m scared lol
 
cdoconn said:
@Stroganoff how familiar are you with older gaming systems? :laugh:

Because I plugged my Nintendo game cube in and it immediately turned on and turned right back off??? I’ve been searching the Internet and it says I might have to replace the fuse and I’m scared lol
Click to expand...
Push comes to shove if you break it horribly they're not expensive to replace lol...
 
cdoconn said:
Oh I plan on doing that! Will have to wait until I get back up to OK. Sorry if I insulted you
Click to expand...
Nah, that's near impossible. 🙂 Although I'm secretly scared inside if I help one person then a line of 10 more people start asking me for random help. I'm actually not a tech person, just a generic problem solver who aggressively finds answers and never gives up. #secrets
 
Stroganoff said:
Nah, that's near impossible. 🙂 Although I'm secretly scared inside if I help one person then a line of 10 more people start asking me for random help. I'm actually not a tech person, just a generic problem solver who aggressively finds answers and never gives up. #secrets
Click to expand...
The secret is that this is basically all tech support people are, too...
 
Trilt said:
The secret is that this is basically all tech support people are, too...
Click to expand...
This is a bit optimistic. It's an individual trait. I haven't legitimately done Service Desk in a decade or so, but at some companies, all you need is a pulse. There's some dangerously lazy/inept people out there in every field it makes you wonder how they haven't been fired.

/rant
 
Stroganoff said:
This is a bit optimistic. It's an individual trait. I haven't legitimately done Service Desk in a decade or so, but at some companies, all you need is a pulse. There's some dangerously lazy/inept people out there in every field it makes you wonder how they haven't been fired.

/rant
Click to expand...
*this is basically all my friends who have done tech support have in qualifications... ability to Google and guess a little and want to solve problems lol.

😛
 
I'm not sure if this is a rant or a rave. I'm getting excited about my interviews, but it's, like, painful to be excited for them because there's the chance I'll still get waitlisted or denied either way. I have 3, so you'd think I should get into at least one, but a bunch of people on here have interviewed at that many places (or more) in a given cycle and still didn't hear back positively. I really want to be confident and hopeful, but it's hard knowing that's a good possibility. Very conflicted. Going to try really hard to kill these interviews. I think I'm capable, but still nervous. And excited. And nervous. And excited.
 
sheltermed said:
I'm not sure if this is a rant or a rave. I'm getting excited about my interviews, but it's, like, painful to be excited for them because there's the chance I'll still get waitlisted or denied either way. I have 3, so you'd think I should get into at least one, but a bunch of people on here have interviewed at that many places (or more) in a given cycle and still didn't hear back positively. I really want to be confident and hopeful, but it's hard knowing that's a good possibility. Very conflicted. Going to try really hard to kill these interviews. I think I'm capable, but still nervous. And excited. And nervous. And excited.
Click to expand...
I applied to a whole two schools. I was denied by one, not even interviewed, and waitlisted at the other. I'm a third year. Anything is possible!
 
sheltermed said:
I'm not sure if this is a rant or a rave. I'm getting excited about my interviews, but it's, like, painful to be excited for them because there's the chance I'll still get waitlisted or denied either way. I have 3, so you'd think I should get into at least one, but a bunch of people on here have interviewed at that many places (or more) in a given cycle and still didn't hear back positively. I really want to be confident and hopeful, but it's hard knowing that's a good possibility. Very conflicted. Going to try really hard to kill these interviews. I think I'm capable, but still nervous. And excited. And nervous. And excited.
Click to expand...

You are going to do great. You got this. It is hard to know you may fail, but if you do, then you will have the whole world of choices open to you to chose. This is just one option of many, many options that may be good for you.
 
I need to rant again. I apologize. I'll try to keep it short. My best friend is being horrible. She does not support me going to vet school at all. She keeps telling me I am going to fail out and that I am putting my husband and child through hell for a selfish reason. I am going to SGU so I am uprooting everyone for my dream, which I guess is selfish. My husband and family supports me 100% and are willing to do anything to help me make this work. I just can't shake off that my best friend thinks I am going to fail. She is suppose to know me better than anyone. She has known I wanted to be a vet since I was 7 and I am finally, after supporting my husband for 7 years, fulfilling my goal. I dunno guys/ladies. Am I just being a crazy selfish lady here? I know it is a real possibility I could fail out. I could do wonderful too. I know I am capable of it and my upward trend in grades show it. I'm really bummed I don't have her support.
 
ArizonaSkye said:
I need to rant again. I apologize. I'll try to keep it short. My best friend is being horrible. She does not support me going to vet school at all. She keeps telling me I am going to fail out and that I am putting my husband and child through hell for a selfish reason. I am going to SGU so I am uprooting everyone for my dream, which I guess is selfish. My husband and family supports me 100% and are willing to do anything to help me make this work. I just can't shake off that my best friend thinks I am going to fail. She is suppose to know me better than anyone. She has known I wanted to be a vet since I was 7 and I am finally, after supporting my husband for 7 years, fulfilling my goal. I dunno guys/ladies. Am I just being a crazy selfish lady here? I know it is a real possibility I could fail out. I could do wonderful too. I know I am capable of it and my upward trend in grades show it. I'm really bummed I don't have her support.
Click to expand...
We must all do "selfish" things or risk regret and resentment. If your family is on board, I say do it. If you can figure out how to do it in a low impact way all the better. I'm sorry that your friend has opted to not support you in the way you hoped. Perhaps she thinks she is giving you tough love, but only you and your husband know what is the right choice. Now go crush it!

I have moved my family away from everyone, and I know my wife is unhappy sometimes. We check in with each other and she continues to express her support. It's just four years and she knows I sacrificed my dream for years and she tells me it's my turn. Of course I worry, but I must trust that she will tell me the truth about her feelings and we work through it together!
 
Cranky.

Got bit by an unvaccinated kitten on the last appointment of the day. Now, here I am at patient care for almost 2 hours waiting to be seen.
 
A really good friend of mine lost her 5 mo. old puppy last night to a bizarre and very acute GI/neuro illness. The ER docs at the specialty hospital were stumped and he took a turn for the worse and she had to PTS. He was the same breed as my girl, just three months younger and when she called me really early this morning I was just completely heartbroken for her. Life is so unfair sometimes.
 
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