Thanks to everyone for the help. I am a doc facing unemployment if my scores don’t improve. But I think your help will be valuable and hopefully keep me from having to explain an extended gap (thanks covid)
3 things immediately come to mind:
1) Scripting/managing expectations. Start off every non crashing encounter the same way. My script is something along the lines of
"Hi I'm Arcan57. I'm the emergency doctor. <eye contact> I'm going to take very good care of you. The nurse was telling me that you're having (insert chief complaint)." I then ask one close ended question that I know nobody has asked them during the triage process, then I ask an opened ended question.
After my H&P, I tell them what the next steps are including my pre-test assessment of admission or discharge. If they're going home unless they have some jacked up result, I talk to them about how we look for the dangerous stuff that you have to be in the hospital to get treated. I also sketch out the next steps in diagnosis and treatment (PPI then f/u if suspected GERD, etc.)
When I go back in to discharge them, I talk about the tests we did, I tell them a list of big bad scary (common) diseases I'm sure they don't have, and I talk about how there's a lot of conditions that make your life miserable that we don't have tests for in the ED and refer them back to their primary. I'll then give them return precautions for serious badness and end by saying that there's no way I'd send them home if I thought they had (big bad diseases) but those are the things to watch out for.
2) Manage your non-verbal communication. Sitting down, as mentioned above, helps. Make eye contact occasionally. If you're annoyed or frustrated, you may need to mentally redirect so you don't express it in abrupt movements. Nod , lean forward slightly to show interest. Be courteous to any visitors in the room but direct your attention to the patient.
3) Use empathetic language. Validating that the patient feels like they're suffering is powerful, even if it's not something you can change or it's something the patient is doing to themselves. Acknowledge powerful but unspoken emotions. Often our discomfort with other's distress creates a wall that comes off as "They didn't care about me". If the patient looks like they're about to burst out crying or is twitching in frustration, acting like that's not happening isn't going to help. Learn the blameless apology, "I'm sorry you're going through this". Apologizing doesn't mean you have to take full responsibility for the situation, just that you're human and the patient is human and you'd both like the patient's life to be going a bit better than it is at the moment.