Strong personality on interview day

[907914]

So, if y’all can’t tell from my forums presence, I have a very strong personality. Obviously toned down in person, particularly in professional settings (Thankfully the military taught me to respect and play by the rules of hierarchy).

However, I am worried that in a multi-person exercise on interview day - multi-person interview, some group MMI formats, lunch ice breakers etc. - I may come off a little...overzealous? I am not shy in knowing that I likely have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience to talk about than the majority of my peers in the applicant pool. And, at least from my observation, i am much MUCH more extroverted and willing to engage in these sorts of conversations than my peers.

Obviously, if there are other interviewers who are just super shy and quite, I will be talking more than them (but also encouraging them as it is not a competition and not intentionally trying to talk over them).

Actual question + TL;DR - Being a typically dominant personality, how would y’all recommend toning it down so that I can still convey that I think I am a great applicant while also not coming off “too aggressive” and rub someone (an interviewer) the wrong way?

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[deleted972488]

It's difficult to advise, as I'm one of the quiet ones. Definitely avoid statements that indicate you think you "have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience," even if it is true in some cases. Think before you speak. Don't interrupt anyone. You'll be fine.

 

[907914]

have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience

Yah, that came out a lot more arrogant than intended...I will most certainly NOT compare myself to others, merely talk about myself and let any evaluations of ‘more’ or whatever come from interviewers

I have never received any negative feedback in or after an interview (have received 5 of the 6 jobs I have ever interviewed for). Just getting paranoia about group type activities, I guess...

 

[deleted972488]

Yah, that came out a lot more arrogant than intended...I will most certainly NOT compare myself to others, merely talk about myself and let any evaluations of ‘more’ or whatever come from interviewers

I have never received any negative feedback in or after an interview (have received 5 of the 6 jobs I have ever interviewed for). Just getting paranoia about group type activities, I guess...

Sounds like you'll be fine, then! Historically I am a pretty terrible interviewer. I got waitlisted at 3 PhD programs way back when (and their post-interview acceptance rates are much higher than MD programs), but fortunately, I did get outright accepted at my top choice from the get-go. I think I have grown quite a bit since then, but we'll see.

 

[stayathomemom]

So, if y’all can’t tell from my forums presence, I have a very strong personality. Obviously toned down in person, particularly in professional settings (Thankfully the military taught me to respect and play by the rules of hierarchy).

However, I am worried that in a multi-person exercise on interview day - multi-person interview, some group MMI formats, lunch ice breakers etc. - I may come off a little...overzealous? I am not shy in knowing that I likely have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience to talk about than the majority of my peers in the applicant pool. And, at least from my observation, i am much MUCH more extroverted and willing to engage in these sorts of conversations than my peers.

Obviously, if there are other interviewers who are just super shy and quite, I will be talking more than them (but also encouraging them as it is not a competition and not intentionally trying to talk over them).

Actual question + TL;DR - Being a typically dominant personality, how would y’all recommend toning it down so that I can still convey that I think I am a great applicant while also not coming off “too aggressive” and rub someone (an interviewer) the wrong way?

Lead well in conversation. And this does not mean dominating the conversation. Find something, ANYTHING, that you have in common with your convo partner and start talking about that. Ask them lots of open-ended questions about themselves or their point of view/opinion (ie, "This school has a lot of coffee shops, that'll be great for studying! What do you think?"). Feel free to mention interesting things about yourself--but not in a bragging kind of way. Be encouraging and helpful. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR EC'S OR STATS, and in fact maybe you shouldn't. Be a normal person, not a hyped up premed.

Edit: Well, I meant this advice for talking to other applicants, not interviewers, but still be humble but factual when interviewing.

 

[Emulteapj]

No offense, but based off your (very frequent) posts on this forum, you really come off as the quintessential gunner. A personality is not something easy to change.

 

[907914]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR EC'S OR STATS

Oh definitely. I just feel like the only things that will come up for me in interviews are military activities, my daughter (maybe?), and hobbies...idk. Probably just overthinking it.

 

[deleted967981]

Th

It's difficult to advise, as I'm one of the quiet ones. Definitely avoid statements that indicate you think you "have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience," even if it is true in some cases. Think before you speak. Don't interrupt anyone. You'll be fine.

I thought I was quiet until my actual interview day. There was a girl there who literally spoke no more than 5 words all day, at least to our interview group (7 of us total). She only spoke when spoken to, and then only a word or two.

Personally, I’m not a “hold the room” type, but I do well in one on one conversations. I played to my strengths, and struck up conversations individually with every person in my group, our handler for the day, and a couple of the staff we had lunch with.

Honestly, the most stressful part of the interview day for me was the actual interview (2 on 1, I felt like I was on display), and the feeling that you had to be “on” all day.

 

[stayathomemom]

Oh definitely. I just feel like the only things that will come up for me in interviews are military activities, my daughter (maybe?), and hobbies...idk. Probably just overthinking it.

I'm not an expert on interviews (not even close!!!!) but my husband does a lot of interviewing because he's a hiring manager in a professional setting. His main objective when interviewing people is to make sure they're a pleasant human being. Not that they're the BEST at everything. Your application will already speak to your successes and achievements. But the interview is to make sure you can be humble, carry easy conversation, be graceful in social situations, communicate efficiently, and NOT talk yourself into a hole. They want to know if you are the type of person that they can put in front of patients, and not be scared that you'll embarrass them and yourself.

 

[907914]

No offense, but based off your (very frequent) posts on this forum, you really come off as the quintessential gunner. A personality is not something easy to change.

No offense taken!

You know, it is funny that you say this as, at least from my lived experiences, I am anything but a gunner. I didn’t even think of medicine as a career until I was 19, didn’t even officially start as a premed until I was 22. A gunner aims for the top (hence, they are ‘gunning’) and tries their hardest to get there. I don’t try to end up at the top, I just tend to find myself there.

My professors think I am being full of myself when I say “I don’t care about getting a good grade, I care about learning the material.” And then they see me in class asking **** loads of questions and it is like...yah, I just want to learn lol

 

[thegrind33]

No offense taken!

You know, it is funny that you say this as, at least from my lived experiences, I am anything but a gunner. I didn’t even think of medicine as a career until I was 19, didn’t even officially start as a premed until I was 22. A gunner aims for the top (hence, they are ‘gunning’) and tries their hardest to get there. I don’t try to end up at the top, I just tend to find myself there.

My professors think I am being full of myself when I say “I don’t care about getting a good grade, I care about learning the material.” And then they see me in class asking **** loads of questions and it is like...yah, I just want to learn lol

gunnerology 101. But at lunch or whatever you don’t even have to talk about medicine

 

[907914]

gunnerology 101. But at lunch or whatever you don’t even have to talk about medicine

New essay topic for negative feedback essay “SDN called be a gunner, but I am genuinely just awesome I swear!”

Thank you for the feedback. Sounds like I should be just fine. Just maintain human-ness. No Sméagol voice. Got it.

 

[Moko]

It's still okay to talk about your achievements as long as it's done in a graceful and humble way. Even if you don't talk about your accomplishments, it will still be available for all to see during the review meetings. Don't be overbearing, especially to the student interviewers, they're usually the ones who pick up on these things (or lack thereof).

 

[deleted967981]

But at lunch or whatever you don’t even have to talk about medicine

At our lunch they tried to get us to talk about anything BUT medicine. I think it was an attempt to see if we were real people, or if we obsessed about school and becoming a doctor.

 

[jamaica jan sun princess]

No offense taken!

You know, it is funny that you say this as, at least from my lived experiences, I am anything but a gunner. I didn’t even think of medicine as a career until I was 19, didn’t even officially start as a premed until I was 22. A gunner aims for the top (hence, they are ‘gunning’) and tries their hardest to get there. I don’t try to end up at the top, I just tend to find myself there.

My professors think I am being full of myself when I say “I don’t care about getting a good grade, I care about learning the material.” And then they see me in class asking **** loads of questions and it is like...yah, I just want to learn lol

Real talk, don't ever say anything like that at an interview. I realize this forum is an anonymous, safe place but that would come across as even more incredibly arrogant in-person.

 

[907914]

Real talk, don't ever say anything like that at an interview. I realize this forum is an anonymous, safe place but that would come across as even more incredibly arrogant in-person.

Yah, I am not helping my case, am I? Lol I almost universally do NOT talk about this because there really is no way to sound humble talking about it. My humble way of doing that has just been to not talk about myself when I’m a group setting. Can you think of a humble way of saying “I do not try to do well. Doing well is just a byproduct of me trying.” Like...that sounds very cocky and I am very aware of that. This has less to do with interviews and more to do with just general demeanor.

It's still okay to talk about your achievements as long as it's done in a graceful and humble way. Even if you don't talk about your accomplishments, it will still be available for all to see during the review meetings. Don't be overbearing, especially to the student interviewers, they're usually the ones who pick up on these things (or lack thereof).

What sorts of questions are asked in group settings? I typically don’t talk about my accomplishments/achievements unless they are directly addressed in a question...

But the interview is to make sure you can be humble, carry easy conversation, be graceful in social situations, communicate efficiently, and NOT talk yourself into a hole.

That hole is solidly where I am at now. Maybe I just have the wrong idea of the kinds of things addressed in interviews?

 

[LabileEmotions]

Showing authentic appreciation through active listening is a skill worth developing.

Also understand the power of silence. What is conveyed non-verbally has significantly more impact that what is said.

Talking too much, appearing as a know-it-all and dominating conversations is not a good look, ever.

 

[aldol16]

Whenever I do student interviews (my school has med students participate in the interview process), I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I understand that you're not trying to be rude and maybe you'll inadvertently say something that might come off as "rude" but is just part of your personality. But if it consistently happens throughout the interview, then I start to think maybe it really is rude.

I think a large part of med school interviews is not only about what you say but also how you carry yourself and whether you recognize the impact of what you're saying and your body language on other people. If you don't recognize that, then how are you going to recognize your impact when talking to patients? So being assertive and confident is okay and good. Bordering on rude is not. It can be a fine line so maybe try to practice your interviewing with someone?

 

[907914]

Also understand the power of silence.

It can be a fine line

These are both the two pieces I think I need to work on the most. I am a great active listener (you need to be for phlebotomy and doing mental health work) but find difficulty in addressing when my voice should be a part of the conversation or not. I am used to being in positions of leadership and/or assuming a dominant role, so in peer-to-peer situations that do not have a hierarchy/shouldn't have a hierarchy this is where I falter. It is a very fine line. I definitely walk it. In 95% of situations, it is the right side of the line, but that last bit is not infrequent enough that it can be ignored.

I think that is how I can get through interviews with flying colors, because if it happens it is just meh. And once in a situation past the interview phase (say, an acceptance), I just find my way to a position of authority where rudeness merely comes off as blunt constructive feedback and is more acceptable. I am not great at being someone's peer. I like hierarchy.

 

[aldol16]

I think that is how I can get through interviews with flying colors, because if it happens it is just meh. And once in a situation past the interview phase (say, an acceptance), I just find my way to a position of authority where rudeness merely comes off as blunt constructive feedback and is more acceptable. I am not great at being someone's peer. I like hierarchy.

This really isn't something that just ends after interviews. All through med school and for most of residency, you will need to be able to work well in a hierarchical system where the hierarchy isn't always clearly defined. How you treat your peers and the people you work with will be noticed and they will impact your evaluations during your clerkships and beyond.

 

[Moko]

What sorts of questions are asked in group settings? I typically don’t talk about my accomplishments/achievements unless they are directly addressed in a question...

My school fortunately does not do group interviews. I find them to be awkward and unnecessarily stressful. The ones I have been part of (as an interviewee years ago) basically consist of the interviewer asking standard stock interview questions and each interviewee then proceeds to answer them one by one in front of everyone else. I agree with the importance of being a good active listener, and being okay with pauses and silence.

 

[mmchick]

You could just, you know, be yourself and let interviewers/colleagues/peers decide for themselves if you’re a fit. Don’t really see the use in pretending or putting a show on. If you’re arrogant, you’re arrogant, and it’ll show one way or the other. Maybe some schools will dig it, others won’t. I don’t really get the whole “I know I’m very full of myself and an over-achiever, but how do I avoid coming off this way” short answer: you don’t. It’s your personality. Just own it and be yourself. Can’t imagine a facade holding over too long for the rest of your life while living your career out.

 

[Ultimakey]

These are both the two pieces I think I need to work on the most. I am a great active listener (you need to be for phlebotomy and doing mental health work) but find difficulty in addressing when my voice should be a part of the conversation or not. I am used to being in positions of leadership and/or assuming a dominant role, so in peer-to-peer situations that do not have a hierarchy/shouldn't have a hierarchy this is where I falter. It is a very fine line. I definitely walk it. In 95% of situations, it is the right side of the line, but that last bit is not infrequent enough that it can be ignored.

I think that is how I can get through interviews with flying colors, because if it happens it is just meh. And once in a situation past the interview phase (say, an acceptance), I just find my way to a position of authority where rudeness merely comes off as blunt constructive feedback and is more acceptable. I am not great at being someone's peer. I like hierarchy.

It may just be me, but I feel like playing the same card excessively can become a bit of an annoyance. Starting every sentence with, “when I was in the military,” comes off as arrogant, in my opinion. This isn’t a shot at you, but it’s for anyone who refers back to one aspect for everything they talk about.

 

[907914]

This really isn't something that just ends after interviews. All through med school and for most of residency, you will need to be able to work well in a hierarchical system where the hierarchy isn't always clearly defined. How you treat your peers and the people you work with will be noticed and they will impact your evaluations during your clerkships and beyond.

Oh yes, I fully understand this. That is what I am saying is that I work very well in a hierarchical structure and am fully aware of the prospects in medicine. It is in those non-hierarchical structures where I am not the best. In a peer-to-peer environment where I shouldn't assert myself to the top, I do.

 

[Ultimakey]

You could just, you know, be yourself and let interviewers/colleagues/peers decide for themselves if you’re a fit. Don’t really see the use in pretending or putting a show on. If you’re arrogant, you’re arrogant, and it’ll show one way or the other. Maybe some schools will dig it, others won’t. I don’t really get the whole “I know I’m very full of myself and an over-achiever, but how do I avoid coming off this way” short answer: you don’t. It’s your personality. Just own it and be yourself. Can’t imagine a facade holding over too long for the rest of your life while living your career out.

Completely agree with this. Sooner or later, the facade will drop and the interviewers will notice. Faking a personality is really noticeable.

 

[capriccio]

The key thing in group activities and interviews is to know when to speak up and when to take a step back. In other words, read the room. If it's quiet, try to restart the conversation. If you've been doing everything or saying a ton, chill out and offer others a chance to participate. Be active but encouraging. As for what you actually talk about in group settings, for group activities you're usually given a task to complete and have to work together with other people. IMO it's purely to assess how well you work in a team setting where everyone is your peer. For my only group interview, the interviewer asked a few general questions and we took turns answering. Treat it as a regular interview and listen attentively to others. I think "sharing is caring" is a good motto in group settings.

For lunch ice breakers, just be normal—would you talk about all your ECs and achievements at a regular lunch with an acquaintance, or attempt to be the Greatest Conversationalist Ever? It's a time for people to relax and get to know each other. Don't overthink it.

 

[deleted972488]

It may just be me, but I feel like playing the same card excessively can become a bit of an annoyance. Starting every sentence with, “when I was in the military,” comes off as arrogant, in my opinion. This isn’t a shot at you, but it’s for anyone who refers back to one aspect for everything they talk about.

People can only speak about what they know. But sometimes it’s better just to not say anything or to keep the conversation about the other person.

 

[907914]

You could just, you know, be yourself and let interviewers/colleagues/peers decide for themselves if you’re a fit. Don’t really see the use in pretending or putting a show on. If you’re arrogant, you’re arrogant, and it’ll show one way or the other. Maybe some schools will dig it, others won’t. I don’t really get the whole “I know I’m very full of myself and an over-achiever, but how do I avoid coming off this way” short answer: you don’t. It’s your personality. Just own it and be yourself. Can’t imagine a facade holding over too long for the rest of your life while living your career out.

I think you misunderstand my intent. I am not trying to develop a facade. I want to better manage how I act for the sake of personal and professional development. You are right, a facade cannot be kept up for long.

Starting every sentence with, “when I was in the military,” comes off as arrogant, in my opinion.

With things like this, military, it is more about adopting the identity of 'soldier.' Like...I reference that a lot because it was my life. Not that my job was my life, but the role was. It would sound arrogant, however, to say 'as a soldier I did this' so 'when I was in the military' is the substitute. But @EmbryonalCarcinoma is correct, it is about reading the room and not allowing my own experiences diminish the value of others.

 

[and 99 others]

It may just be me, but I feel like playing the same card excessively can become a bit of an annoyance. Starting every sentence with, “when I was in the military,” comes off as arrogant, in my opinion. This isn’t a shot at you, but it’s for anyone who refers back to one aspect for everything they talk about.

I also want to emphasize the above, OP. I think it's great that you're so accomplished and its not a bad thing to feel proud of your own accomplishments. But without having ever interacted with you, I know very well that you are a young adult who married and had a child early all while juggling school, 15+ hours of research a week, military duties, and volunteering, etc. etc. etc. Why do I know this? Not by delving into every post you've ever made (I haven't even clicked on your profile), but because you mention it ALL. THE. TIME. Most of the time, in contexts where it is not really necessary or relevant and just comes off as you flexing on internet strangers. I mean, I agree you're a strong applicant, but if this is part of your "strong personality", it does come across as quite arrogant and gives the impression that you lack introspection. Especially in conjunction with some other things you've said in this thread.

I can tell you're not trying to be arrogant and when it comes down to it, I think you're a kind, but overeager guy. But at the end of the day, what matters is how you are perceived by others. I don't mean to diminish you, but want to reiterate that you don't NEED to make sure everyone in the metaphorical room knows how much of a hotshot you are.

 

[LiftingMed]

Is this why some individuals with high stats don't get in?

 

[deleted972488]

Is this why some individuals with high stats don't get in?

I think being overconfident is actually better than being under-confident. As someone who has fallen into the latter category, it admittedly hurt me in interview settings in the past. Of course, it’s best to be somewhere in between.

 

[907914]

I also want to emphasize the above, OP. I think it's great that you're so accomplished and its not a bad thing to feel proud of your own accomplishments. But without having ever interacted with you, I know very well that you are a young adult who married and had a child early all while juggling school, 15+ hours of research a week, military duties, and volunteering, etc. etc. etc. Why do I know this? Not by delving into every post you've ever made (I haven't even clicked on your profile), but because you mention it ALL. THE. TIME. Most of the time, in contexts where it is not really necessary or relevant and just comes off as you flexing on internet strangers. I mean, I agree you're a strong applicant, but if this is part of your "strong personality", it does come across as quite arrogant and gives the impression that you lack introspection. Especially in conjunction with some other things you've said in this thread.

I can tell you're not trying to be arrogant and when it comes down to it, I think you're a kind, but overeager guy. But at the end of the day, what matters is how you are perceived by others. I don't mean to diminish you, but want to reiterate that you don't NEED to make sure everyone in the metaphorical room knows how much of a hotshot you are.

I know you have no ill intent and, even if you did, I genuinely value honest and constructive feedback. Thank you! It is definitely the overeager. I just want the **** to happen and be done with already. I am confident with my application prospects, but SDN provides a forum for venting the stress of the wait. The repetition and recycling of stories...I don't even know. Maybe my way of practicing my hit topic points for interviews? Don't even know. Proportionally, I talk about myself very little. But when I talk so much, the same things come up time and time again.

To the bolded part, I never try to come off as a hotshot in any given scenario. But when I talk about myself (and why I avoid talking about myself in person) that is how it comes off.

 

[907914]

I think being overconfident is actually better than being under-confident. As someone who has fallen into the latter category, it admittedly hurt me in interview settings in the past. Of course, it’s best to be somewhere in between.

I definitely will never fall to being under-confident, thankfully. You are right, though - falling prey to overconfidence is bad as well. .

 

[EdgeTrimmer]

My 2 cents is don't cutoff other interviewers and be humble. Other day I interviewed one girl (for IT job). For most questions instead of answering the question she would give long answers and then say she can solve any problem

 

[907914]

Is this why some individuals with high stats don't get in?

From everything the ADCOMs have said, that last 10-17% that are high stats that don't get in have 0 social skills and/or very few ECs.

 

[chlorocruorin]

I’d give you a run for your money on interview day

 

[907914]

I’d give you a run for your money on interview day

Put me in my place. That is a good strategy to shut me up lol

 

[chlorocruorin]

Put me in my place. That is a good strategy to shut me up lol

Your military, I’m football, there’s a lot of similarity in the way we approach social events

our competitive nature drives us lol

 

[907914]

Your military, I’m football, there’s a lot of similarity in the way we approach social events

our competitive nature drives us lol

And see, I am not competitive. If someone performs better than me then that is fantastic and they deserve it! I just don't really ever find myself falling behind others. And if I do, I don't beat myself up for it, they deserve it - I do me and they do them?

 

[jamaica jan sun princess]

Yah, I am not helping my case, am I? Lol I almost universally do NOT talk about this because there really is no way to sound humble talking about it. My humble way of doing that has just been to not talk about myself when I’m a group setting. Can you think of a humble way of saying “I do not try to do well. Doing well is just a byproduct of me trying.” Like...that sounds very cocky and I am very aware of that. This has less to do with interviews and more to do with just general demeanor.

If someone complements you, you can always just say, "thank you, I really enjoy organic chemistry and studied a lot" or " thank you, I enjoy tutoring children from subpar schools".

Something of that nature.

I actually don't think you're a Gunner, in retrospect. I grew up in a military family and noticed a lot of young military males have an attitude similar to yours. Sometimes they have an attitude of "I am a gift to an undeserving world". You're confident, enthusiastic, and have great stats and EC, just don't dont make that your personality. Emphasis your interest in science and medicine, but without the superiority complex. Especially don't ever say you're superior without even having to try.

• I think that is how I can get through interviews with flying colors, because if it happens it is just meh. And once in a situation past the interview phase (say, an acceptance), I just find my way to a position of authority where rudeness merely comes off as blunt constructive feedback and is more acceptable. I am not great at being someone's peer. I like hierarchy.

Why do you assume you'll just find yourself in a position of authority?

 

[deleted972488]

I just don't really ever find myself falling behind others.

Ever? At anything?

 

[Cornfed101]

I think being overconfident is actually better than being under-confident. As someone who has fallen into the latter category, it admittedly hurt me in interview settings in the past. Of course, it’s best to be somewhere in between.

But this is why medical school interviews are different than job interviews. The whole goal of a job interview is to convince the interviewer of your awesomeness. I have to learn how to tone it down because I have done a dozen successful job interviews over the last 10 years... now I need to show some humility

 

[907914]

Why do you assume you'll just find yourself in a position of authority?

I don't really aim for them, I just find myself fitting in that role. I have almost always (not always, but almost) been squad leader, team leader, distinguished honor graduate, dean's list, club president, student platoon sergeant, lab manager, lead lab tech etc.

Like...I don't necessarily assume I will be in a position of leadership, but I tend to find myself in them without intention of being there. I am just literally always 'on' and have a good sense of intuition for what needs done....so I get it done. It is who I am.

 

[Cornfed101]

I don't really aim for them, I just find myself fitting in that role. I have almost always (not always, but almost) been squad leader, team leader, distinguished honor graduate, dean's list, club president, student platoon sergeant, lab manager, lead lab tech etc.

Like...I don't necessarily assume I will be in a position of leadership, but I tend to find myself in them without intention of being there. I am just literally always 'on' and have a good sense of intuition for what needs done....so I get it done. It is who I am.

Well, I expect you to be the first doctor on Mars... that's all I gotta say.

 

[cj_cregg]

I hope I'm not overstepping here - I'm hoping these comments will address your question and be helpful to you, and I am trying to comment not on your motivations or who you are as a person, but rather how your actions and words might come across to others who don't know you well.

The problem I'm hearing you define (and that I think you may be demonstrating in a few comments you've made) is not over-confidence - it is 100% fine to be proud of your accomplishments and who you are, and to express that in conversations and interviews. The aspect I think is likely to rub people the wrong way is that you seem to focus on your accomplishments and role in comparison to others. This has been addressed a bit in the thread already. A few examples:

I am not shy in knowing that I likely have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience to talk about than the majority of my peers in the applicant pool. And, at least from my observation, i am much MUCH more extroverted and willing to engage in these sorts of conversations than my peers.

I don’t try to end up at the top, I just tend to find myself there.

I am used to being in positions of leadership and/or assuming a dominant role, so in peer-to-peer situations that do not have a hierarchy/shouldn't have a hierarchy this is where I falter. It

I just find my way to a position of authority

I just don't really ever find myself falling behind others.

All of these are about you being above other people in a hierarchy, you comparing your experiences or performance to other people, etc. You've recognized this already, and I think your idea of focusing simply on your own successes and experiences rather than saying "compared to my peers" or talking about positions of authority/leadership is a great place to start.

Additionally, all these statements seem to have the underlying assumption that you are more successful than other pre-meds. Consider that your definition of success may be different from others'. People with less ECs, leadership, and life experience, people who are more introverted and private, may all have strengths and skills that you don't have, but are extremely valuable. I think this is something that a lot of people who are highly educated and financially successful struggle with, myself included. An example I see a lot is when some of my medical colleagues are concerned about talking about their education or financial success around people who didn't go to college, are more economically middle class, etc. - but the underlying assumption that those folks are not happy with their life, or want to be more educated or wealthier, and that may not be true. So I think it might help you to show that you understand a broader definition of what it means to be successful, or what traits/experiences can bring value to a team, workplace, or relationship.

 

[907914]

Ever? At anything?

No, not really. Only time I have ever met my match for 'doing too much all at once' was the whole reserves/student/newborn/full time work thing. Beyond that....I have been the curve setter. It is not intentional, I just do well by being me. And this sounds really arrogant. I know y'all know I am not trying to sound arrogant. When I am not number 1 I tend to be not far behind, and those ahead of be deserve to be there because they probably put more effort in to whatever it is than I did.

 

[907914]

Well, I expect you to be the first doctor on Mars... that's all I gotta say.

The only time I have ever considered doing something solely for the prestige of it was to apply to MD/JD followed by Aerospace residency so I can be a Doctor, Lawyer, Astronaut just for schitngiggles. That won't happen as family time is #1 and it is just ridiculous....but there is that little part of me lol

 

[Ultimakey]

The only time I have ever considered doing something solely for the prestige of it was to apply to MD/JD followed by Aerospace residency so I can be a Doctor, Lawyer, Astronaut just for schitngiggles. That won't happen as family time is #1 and it is just ridiculous....but there is that little part of me lol

I think the general consensus is that you should avoid saying what others may perceive as arrogance. Definitely don’t try to one-up someone’s experiences and values during an interview, like some people like to do.

So, if y’all can’t tell from my forums presence, I have a very strong personality. Obviously toned down in person, particularly in professional settings (Thankfully the military taught me to respect and play by the rules of hierarchy).

However, I am worried that in a multi-person exercise on interview day - multi-person interview, some group MMI formats, lunch ice breakers etc. - I may come off a little...overzealous? I am not shy in knowing that I likely have a lot more ECs, leadership, and life experience to talk about than the majority of my peers in the applicant pool. And, at least from my observation, i am much MUCH more extroverted and willing to engage in these sorts of conversations than my peers.

Obviously, if there are other interviewers who are just super shy and quite, I will be talking more than them (but also encouraging them as it is not a competition and not intentionally trying to talk over them).

Actual question + TL;DR - Being a typically dominant personality, how would y’all recommend toning it down so that I can still convey that I think I am a great applicant while also not coming off “too aggressive” and rub someone (an interviewer) the wrong way?

And regarding the assumptions on being more extroverted and achieved that your colleagues, just try not to appear threatening in the manner that you speak with. Don’t belittle others’ experiences and don’t dominate every conversation.

I think you’ll be fine, but if anything, fake your personality for the day.

 

[deleted972488]

No, not really. Only time I have ever met my match for 'doing too much all at once' was the whole reserves/student/newborn/full time work thing. Beyond that....I have been the curve setter. It is not intentional, I just do well by being me. And this sounds really arrogant. I know y'all know I am not trying to sound arrogant. When I am not number 1 I tend to be not far behind, and those ahead of be deserve to be there because they probably put more effort in to whatever it is than I did.

You are not even close to number 1 at many things. Same with everyone! Are you an expert in economics? 20th century literature? No. Everyone brings something unique to the table. Your experiences are great, but they don’t make you better than everybody else. Your stats are high-ish, but there are people here with higher stats than ours. Everyone who is interviewing alongside you equally deserves to be there.

 

[907914]

You are not even close to number 1 at many things. Same with everyone! Are you an expert in economics? 20th century literature? No. Everyone brings something unique to the table. Your experiences are great, but they don’t make you better than everybody else. Your stats are high-ish, but there are people here with higher stats than ours. Everyone who is interviewing alongside you equally deserves to be there.

This is that rubbing the wrong way. The context of 'not falling behind' is in what I aim myself towards. I don't know if I would be good at economics or 20th century literature, but those are irrelevant as I have never and will never try anything along those lines. And I am not number one at anything, I will likely never be the best at anything. I can only ever be the best me that i can be. I will PM you later if you would like to talk further.